Relationship Red Flags

he lies
all his stories about his ex are negative
he disrespects his mother
he gets super jealous out of the blue
none of your friends or family get along with him
you have more bad days than good days with him
something just seems off ... or you get a bad feeling about him
 
-When he only texts you but calls on the weekend if that
-All dates are your idea, he doesn't take initiative
-Says, "I can see myself with you BUT
-Always "working" but never has money
-Very brief phone calls, he always has to call you right back (drug dealer)
-Clingy/Neediness
-Blames breakup completely on exes
-Calls late at night always
-Jealous over time spent with your girlfriends or family
-Jumpy whenever police are near
-Doesn't have any friends besides you
-Won't invite you to his house after you've been dating a bit
-Very secretive about details of his life
-More than two cell phones
-Constantly switching jobs or getting "fired"
-Blaming all his problems on "da man"
 
- Talks as if porn is his best friend. Has an obsession with it and won't stop watching it. Or, tries to exchange less porn for sexual favors from you. (I had an ex who wanted to make a deal; one day less a week of porn in exchange for anal. *******. *rolls eyes*)

- Gets jealous just because you have attractive male friends.

- Disrespects or tries to change your spiritual beliefs.

- Extremely competitive against other males to the point where it hurts your relationship.

- Accusing you of wanting to be with or screw someone else.

- Asks to do things copied from porn flicks that involve bodily fluids other than semen.

- Won't take no for an answer.

- Makes blatantly sexist comments and doesn't take you seriously when you don't like them.

^^^^ My first boyfriend in a nutshell. He was a prick. =)
 
winterinatl said:
- won't give you the house phone
- When you meet,gives a cell number, but when you call it goes straight to voice mail
- won't bring you to da house, always an excuse
- When speaking about his past relationships, it was always her fault
-^^ When speaking about past relationships, he refers to the women as "crazy" and describes lots of spectacular things they "did to him" (what did he do to deserve it, is what I want to know...:rolleyes:)
- likes running over kittens and puppies
- can't hold a job
- refers to women in past relationships as 'b's' and "ho"s
- Thinks the world is against him, and that bad things that happen to him are a matter of mere luck.
Click to expand...
Oh hell no.
 
TayMac said:
-When he only texts you but calls on the weekend if that
-All dates are your idea, he doesn't take initiative
-Says, "I can see myself with you BUT
-Always "working" but never has money
-Very brief phone calls, he always has to call you right back (drug dealer)
-Clingy/Neediness
-Blames breakup completely on exes
-Calls late at night always
-Jealous over time spent with your girlfriends or family
-Jumpy whenever police are near
-Doesn't have any friends besides you
-Won't invite you to his house after you've been dating a bit
-Very secretive about details of his life
-More than two cell phones
-Constantly switching jobs or getting "fired"
-Blaming all his problems on "da man"
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
All true. :perplexed
shellatl said:
Any of these passive/aggressive behaviors are red flags:

*FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his autonomy & afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs - usually by trying to control you.
*FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & often mistrusful, he is reluctant to show his emotional fragility. He's often out of touch with his feelings, reflexively denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love. He picks fights to create distance.
*FEAR OF COMPETITION - Feeling inadequate, he is unable to compete with other men in work and love. He may operate either as a self-sabotaging wimp with a pattern of failure, or he'll be the tyrant, setting himself up as unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to his power.
*OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell a p/a man what you want, no matter how small, and he may promise to get it for you. But he won't say when, and he"ll do it deliberately slowly just to frustrate you. Maybe he won't comply at all. He blocks any real progress he sees to your getting your way.
*FOSTERING CHAOS - The p/a man prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the job undone.
*FEELING VICTIMIZED - The p/a man protests that others unfairly accuse him rather than owning up to his own misdeeds. To remain above reporach, he sets himself up as the apparently hapless, innocent victim of your excessive demands and tirades.
*MAKING EXCUSES & LYING - The p/a man reaches as far as he can to fabricate excuses for not fulfilling promises. As a way of withholding information, affirmation or love - to have power over you - the p/a man may choose to make up a story rather than give you a straight answer.
*PROCRASTINATION - The p/a man has an odd sense of time - he believes that deadlines don't exist for him.
*CHRONIC LATENESS & FORGETFULNESS - One of the most infuriating & inconsiderate of all p/a traits is his inability to arrive on time. By keeping you waiting, he sets the ground rules of the relationship. And his selective forgetting - used only when he wants to avoid an obligation.
*AMBIGUITY - He is master of mixed messages and sitting on fences. When he tells you something, you may still walk away wondering if he actually said yes or no.
*SULKING - Feeling put upon when he is unable to live up to his promises or obligations, the p/a man retreats from pressures around him and sulks, pouts and withdraws.
Click to expand...
 
TayMac said:
-When he only texts you but calls on the weekend if that
-All dates are your idea, he doesn't take initiative
-Says, "I can see myself with you BUT
-Always "working" but never has money
-Very brief phone calls, he always has to call you right back (drug dealer)
-Clingy/Neediness
-Blames breakup completely on exes
-Calls late at night always
-Jealous over time spent with your girlfriends or family
-Jumpy whenever police are near
-Doesn't have any friends besides you
-Won't invite you to his house after you've been dating a bit
-Very secretive about details of his life
-More than two cell phones
-Constantly switching jobs or getting "fired"
-Blaming all his problems on "da man"
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
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