Rejection in a relationship our self esteem

[Kinkyhairlady]

How can someone have high self esteem if they are always rejected in a relationship?

I am trying to work on my self esteem, but when I date someone and it does not work out, I always think it has something to do with me. I feel if I acted a certain way, or looked a certain way that the relationship would last. I do not believe in building up one’s selfesteem anymore because there are always people who will tear it down. It is true negative people are all around and are there to test you, but one can only take so much. I am bitter and annoyed at this point and even if I try not to be I always feel down especially when it comes to dating, I am just fed up because apparently I can not be the women that a good man is looking for.

 

[panama_princess6]

You know I may not be the best one to give advice right now with the situation I'm in... but girl you gotta think better about yourself. A man can see when you have low self esteem and why should he think of you or treat you any better than the way you think of yourself. You can only be you, you have go into a situation with an open mind if it doesnt work then oh well, move on to the next. Try dating without looking for a boyfriend. Your good man is out there...

 

[SHEANITPRO]

You know I may not be the best one to give advice right now with the situation I'm in... but girl you gotta think better about yourself. A man can see when you have low self esteem and why should he think of you or treat you any better than the way you think of yourself. You can only be you, you have go into a situation with an open mind if it doesnt work then oh well, move on to the next. Try dating without looking for a boyfriend. Your good man is out there...

Exactly...that's why its called DATING! So each party has a chance to see what is a good fit for them.

Maybe you need to step away from the dating for a minute, and invest in self. You can always re-enter the dating arena once you have worked on building yourself up first.

We attract what we are...self improvement can only better your relationships.

Oh, and by the way....these so called "good men" may be doing you a favor by moving on!

 

[missjanelleb]

You have to look at what you bring to the table and value yourself. My mindset is this:

I am a rare find. The chances of you finding another woman that will treat, love, and respect you the way I do are slim to none.

I told my ex this, and a few years after we broke up, he told me i was right. He was complaining that his girlfriend didn't do the things I did, cook as good as me, or know how to take care of him when he had a bad day or was sick. She wasn't as considerate blah, blah, blah. I told him, that was his choice and left it at that.

 

[phynestone]

Self-love starts with you, honey. Maybe these guys can pick up that you don't think highly of yourself and choose to treat you as if you're worthless b/c that's the message you send out. Don't base your esteem on how others treat or think of you. Set boundaries and if people can't respect that, limit your interaction with them if you have to deal with them at work or if they're family members.

 

[Bunny77]

Honestly?

I think that you are being rejected often because you are picking the wrong men.

 

[FluffyRed]

Not knowing anything about you, sometimes men will break up with you if you are more serious and mature than they are.

Not being a good fit with some men is not a bad thing.

 

[strenght81]

Rejection is normal. Yet, It should not define your core self. Men in paticular get rejected on a daily basis and they still find the self-esteem to do it minutes later, only to possibly get rejected again. I would suggest you stop internalizing every relationship. Instead of looking at it as "I am a bad person, it's my fault it didn't workout" you would benefit with the thinking of "There is somebody for everybody, although we may not be compatible, I am STILL a wonderful person,and during this relationship i have learned alot about myself that will prepare me for the next relationship" or "I am a great person to be with, I just haven't met my match" Say positive things about yourself, to yourself, in time everyone around you will be on the same page, because subconsciously you will attract them

 

[tiara76]

how did katt williams put it...its called self esteem for a reason....it comes from the self

when you feel confident with yourself you will start to see "rejection" as a blessing not a sign that something is "wrong" with you

we only attract to us those that will treat us as we treat ourselves....if you treat yourself good a person who isn't capable at the present to be the person to reflect back to you love and good treatment, they will exit your life...even if they think you are great...

thats why its important to let people go, in the bigger scheme of things they are doing you a favor by "rejecting" you

when you are in a place of love you don't see rejection as personal to you and its a blessing

when you are not in a place of love...and you take rejection personal its an indicator to yourself that you reject yourself and if you can't accept yourself, don't expect anybody else to either....and when you realize this, you realize this is also a blessing and an opportunity to start accepting and loving yourself...people won't do for you what you won't do for yourself

life is nothing but blessings and disguised blessings

 

[strenght81]

how did katt williams put it...its called self esteem for a reason....it comes from the self

when you feel confident with yourself you will start to see "rejection" as a blessing not a sign that something is "wrong" with you

we only attract to us those that will treat us as we treat ourselves....if you treat yourself good a person who isn't capable at the present to be the person to reflect back to you love and good treatment, they will exit your life...even if they think you are great...

thats why its important to let people go, in the bigger scheme of things they are doing you a favor by "rejecting" you

when you are in a place of love you don't see rejection as personal to you and its a blessing

when you are not in a place of love...and you take rejection personal its an indicator to yourself that you reject yourself and if you can't accept yourself, don't expect anybody else to either....and when you realize this, you realize this is also a blessing and an opportunity to start accepting and loving yourself...people won't do for you what you won't do for yourself

life is nothing but blessings and disguised blessings

This is so beautiful! and sooooo true!

 

[DragonPearl]

How can someone have high self esteem if they are always rejected in a relationship?

In my opinion, you have it backward. Relationships will not grant you self-esteem. Money will not give you self-esteem. Your mama may love you and that helps, but that's not self-esteem in itself. Nothing outside of you will give you self-esteem. Self esteem is the love and respect of the self, of who you are. That does not come from the outside. You have to give it to yourself. YOU have to want to love yourself, regardless of whether or not you're in a reationship. Start now.

 

[tinkat]

Relationships should not define how you feel about yourself, as cliche as it sounds. You should look from within to build your self esteem. Relationships, good or bad, are here to teach us lessons...for self development. Instead of looking at a relationship as something that tears you down, you should analyze it and see how you have grown and what you need to work on. Rejection is a part of life. It makes you stronger, bc after rejection, you can heal and it will lead to acceptance.

 

[tinkat]

how did katt williams put it...its called self esteem for a reason....it comes from the self

when you feel confident with yourself you will start to see "rejection" as a blessing not a sign that something is "wrong" with you

we only attract to us those that will treat us as we treat ourselves....if you treat yourself good a person who isn't capable at the present to be the person to reflect back to you love and good treatment, they will exit your life...even if they think you are great...

thats why its important to let people go, in the bigger scheme of things they are doing you a favor by "rejecting" you

when you are in a place of love you don't see rejection as personal to you and its a blessing

when you are not in a place of love...and you take rejection personal its an indicator to yourself that you reject yourself and if you can't accept yourself, don't expect anybody else to either....and when you realize this, you realize this is also a blessing and an opportunity to start accepting and loving yourself...people won't do for you what you won't do for yourself

life is nothing but blessings and disguised blessings

You are on point once again.

 

[Raspberry]

I'm no expert but remember that relationships are not all about the guy and what he needs and is looking for, it's about two people coming together who balance each other in the right ways.

Stop focusing on gaining validation from relationships and ask yourself - what kind of man do I want, what's best for me? Where am I going in life? Can this man and his lifestyle merge with my personality, lifestyle, and goals?

You can jump through whatever hoops to please a particular man and then realize when its too late that he was never the right man for you - just the imaginary prize you built up for yourself in some self-esteem Olympics tournament that you're the only one competing in.