goldenslumbers, I'm glad that taking active steps to get your hair back on track, but I think you might be doing a little bit too much right now, and you may need to dial it back a little bit. The absolute key to a good regimen that grows healthy hair is
simplicity, and it's possible you may be over complicating things in order to find the quickest turnaround for your hair.
If you keep throwing product after product on your hair without giving it time (at least a week) to interact with your protected, moisturized hair, how in the heck will you know what worked, what didn't, and
what combination of products worked or didn't?
As I said, my mom has hair like yours, and I developed her hair care regimen for her, and I can tell you right off the bat that the castor oil is not for you. It is too heavy for your hair to handle, and is part of the reason why your hair is feeling clumpy and crunchy. Nix it pronto.
Next, take the KISS (Keep It Simple Sistah!) approach for the first two weeks. Take the most moisturizing shampoo and conditioner you have and
use only those two products for that time. That way, at the end of that time, you will have a better idea of the true state of your hair at the moment. And surprise surprise, you may find out that that is what your hair really needed, a chance to breathe after being attacked by all this heat, then all these products at once.
Next, keep wearing the bun for now, because that's what you know how to do, but take the time to at least learn how to braid your hair (maybe your mom or a good friend can show you how?). Provided you don't pull your hair tight, that is one of the best ways to hide your hair and still express yourself that there is out there.
Once you have established your hair "base" after those two weeks, then do the research, and try
one product at a time to your routine, and try it for a week. This will give you the best idea of whether it works for your hair or not. If it doesn't, chuck it. If it does, keep it. Once you have gotten to about 5 products (shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, moisturizer and sealer)
stop and give it three months to do its thing! The key to healthy hair care is consistency; you are not going to get it if you keep running to the next fix. It took some time for you to damage your hair. You are not going to fix it in a couple of treatments. Give it time. It will happen.