Recovering from Heat Damage... While Still Using Heat (Desperate)

[goldenslumbers]

As noted in another thread, I'm 16 and I've lost a considerable amount of hair due to flat-ironing. I used to have past waist-length hair that was thicker than anything (My hair is kind of 3B/3C). 3 years ago or so, I trimmed it to mid chest length and started flat-ironing it more often. It hasn't grown back since, and in fact, it's shorter (A little past shoulder length now).

I can obviously root it back to several things. My memory is a bit fuzzy so these may be out of order. My mom put a generic relaxer in my hair. She followed the instructions very carefully, but shortly afterwards my hair started to fall out a bit. Not colossal amounts, but noticeable. I started brushing my hair out multiple times in the bath. For some reason or another 12 year old me thought that it was good to do that... I flat ironed my hair twice a week with zero heat protection at 400 degrees. Yeah. Again, pre-teen me saw no purpose in heat protection. Also, some time in between, I got a Brazilian Blowout on my hair. I honestly cannot remember at all whether it was beneficial or not, but I DO remember I loved what it did to my hair and it was $600...

So, now I have close to no hair. I even have some bald spots here and there. Almost every hair is split at the end or all the way up the shaft. My mother gave me a trim this weekend, but since my hair is so incredibly uneven in length, there are still split ends everywhere.

Of course now I am definitely seeing my faults, and I've started changing some things (some parts I started at the beginning of the year, some beginning of April)

-Eating a healthier diet- all organic, more protein
-Taking 10,000 mcg of Biotin, Probiotics, 6g of Chlorella, and Silica Bamboo Tea
-Straightening my hair ONLY ONCE a week at 350 degrees using heat protection
-Deep Conditioning my hair every wash day for 2-3 hours
-Drinking more water. I used to drink NO water at all

However, now the school year is over for me and I'm trying to not straighten at all this whole summer. I did, however, straighten it this last weekend so my mother could attempt to trim it. Despite my efforts, it looked thinner than before and was very hard to straighten due to the various wacky lengths. I did order some Nexxus Emergencee Treatment to use on my hair, and I'm also planning to use QOD Max Organiq later in the summer in an effort to repair my hair.

So, now I'm desperate. For now (the summer) I won't be using heat except for some of the protein treatments I plan on using, but I'll be back to it again in August, and I'm feeling discouraged after this past weekend.

My big question is- What was the big thing for you that boosted your hair growth and kept it strong, even while using heat on it? What else should I add to my hair regimen?

Yes, I've searched the forums but the amount of info is so overwhelming! Everyone has so many different and complicated methods. What's the key? Smoothies? Keratin Treatments? Cowashing? More protein? Ah!

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[AmiJay]

I just cut about an inch of my color treated hair off and will go back in 3 months and get it done again. At first I didn't want to cut my length and my progress, but I want my hair to look good. Hair that looks good doesn't have thin and split ends. I say all that just to say, sometimes a cut is the best thing for us. I don't know of anything you can do to make messed up ends look good besides cutting them.

 

[goldenslumbers]

Thanks for the reply. As said I did have my mother cut off as bit this last weekend. But, due to breakage each strand of my hair is a completely different length. I'd have to get something like a bowl cut to actually get rid of all my split ends in one sweep, and i'm not old enough to wear a wig yet! I'm hoping the cut she did accomplished something though.

 

[kupenda]

Welcome!

Most women on this forum are gonna go for health first. And if 1.youre still planning to flat iron weekly and 2. You want to keep the damaged hair you currently have, you should look into what relaxed heads are doing during their transitions. They often deal with breakage, strengthening options, etc. I would predict a nice big chop this summer (filled with glittery headbands and pretty scarves!) To about shoulder length. Scalp massages with oils and maybe a sulfur based product. And finding some comfortability with your texture in its natural state. Maybe flat iron every other week when school starts, but wear it curly the other weeks? Bantu knots, twistouts, braidouts, banding...all are ways to help stretch your hair without heat. Good luck OP! Im rooting for you! I know allllllll about the foolishness that comes after too much heat usage

 

[shasha8685]

I say definitely lay off the heat for the duration of the summer. Like a previous poster mentioned, embrace curly styles! It seems like you feel that you hair needs to be straight all the time...it doesn't Bantu knot outs, braid outs, and twist outs will give your hair a cute style and don't require any direct heat. Another option may be bunning or rocking a Gibson tuck--again no heat. If you feel completely style challenged, give half wigs a shot.

I think it's fantastic that you know what the issue is but I challenge you to go without it until your hair is a bit stronger and can handle the heat better.

 

[Evolving78]

you need to leave the heat alone this summer and get a protein treatment. since you have enough hair try bunning, braidouts, and twistouts. if you need to use a blow dryer, use the tension method. this means, no combing or brushing while blowing, but pulling sections down with your hands causing tension to stretch the hair out. or you could air dry using the scarf method. i would recommend 2 step Aphogee treatment that your mother can assist you with, following up with a moisturizing conditioner treatment.

i will post some YT videos for reference.

 

[goldenslumbers]

Thanks for the responses

I would predict a nice big chop this summer (filled with glittery headbands and pretty scarves!) To about shoulder length.

AHHH! Yikes! I definitely have considered that over and over again. My hair is just so thin that I'm reluctant to do it. But I'll definitely have to reconsider it again...

Scalp massages with oils and maybe a sulfur based product

I'll have to do some research on that!

And finding some comfortability with your texture in its natural state. Maybe flat iron every other week when school starts, but wear it curly the other weeks?

That's what I used to do. In fact, I did it at the beginning of this year, but I went back to straightening it every week because I'm just so uncomfortable with my curly hair. 90% of the time I went into school with it curly I'd be hiding in the bathroom most of the time (thats how much I detest it) Curly hair just doesn't appeal to me whatsoever, but I'm attempting to tolerate it more.

What I was thinking of doing is keeping in the QOD Max Organiq treatment for a bit longer... I saw some women noting that their hair wasn't reverting after keeping the treatment in for longer. While that was undesirable to them, that would be a dream for me! I'm thinking I'll do that so I won't have to straighten my hair for a longer period of time once school starts.

Another sort of random thing- I've come to believe my hair is capable of growing quickly... My eyebrows grow back at a completely ridiculous rate. I need to get them threaded every two weeks. There's a patch of baby hairs at the top of my head I'll take off occasionally, and those will be back in full force in two-three weeks. If only I could get the hair directly on my head to do that...

Thanks everyone for the advice, it's helpful!

 

[Amarilles]

You might benefit from treating your hair like a transitioner would. Your story sounds a little similar to mine... had waist length hair, began ironing it at 450 without a protectant, suddenly found myself at shoulder length with splits to heaven and back. My breakage was pretty severe, I had short pieces of hair on my shirt, on the floor, couch, pretty much wherever I went, those pieces would fall all around me. It was so embarrassing when friends would start picking up my hair from the table or my shirt...eugh.

I'm transitioning now and have completely eliminated heat. A simple braidout is pretty versatile...I wear it loose, bunned, tucked...as if it were straight. I have zero desire to return to heat right now.

Heat is cumulative so the fact that you've decreased the temperature and are using a protectant now is moot. The hair is already damaged and even the lesser heat/protectant will just continue the breakage. You should considering giving the heat up (at least for now).

 

[goldenslumbers]

You might benefit from treating your hair like a transitioner would. Your story sounds a little similar to mine... had waist length hair, began ironing it at 450 without a protectant, suddenly found myself at shoulder length with splits to heaven and back. My breakage was pretty severe, I had short pieces of hair on my shirt, on the floor, couch, pretty much wherever I went, those pieces would fall all around me. It was so embarrassing when friends would start picking up my hair from the table or my shirt...eugh.

I'm transitioning now and have completely eliminated heat. A simple braidout is pretty versatile...I wear it loose, bunned, tucked...as if it were straight. I have zero desire to return to heat right now.

Heat is cumulative so the fact that you've decreased the temperature and are using a protectant now is moot. The hair is already damaged and even the lesser heat/protectant will just continue the breakage. You should considering giving the heat up (at least for now).

Yup, sounds exactly like me. As said I'm going to try to give up heat for the summer (3 months), and try to repair it as much as possible within this time to strengthen it before I get back to school. I'm hoping that will be enough... The thought of going to school with my hair curly drives me mad, but I guess I'll have to deal with it at least for a little bit.

 

[Rozlewis]

I would leave the heat alone. I realize if you have been depending on heat for so long this is hard but it is not as hard as it seems. Once you understand the needs of your hair and gives it what it needs. You can wear you hair in a bun or ponytail and let it air dry with leave ins and some serum.

When I joined the board and gave up heat I was reluctant also but after I learned how to air dry I was OK. There are many good videos on YT. Now, I only use heat once every 3 months right before my relaxer.

 

[geejay]

Consider rollersetting and wrapping to achieve the smoother look you favor. Get your protein game on point. And finally, you have to realize that all the healthy hair practices in the world won't restore hair that is already damaged. So you may have to just ride out a certain amount of breakage and thinning.

When I first started my HHJ, things got worse before they got better. But ultimately I've been able to achieve the best hair of my entire life. So stick with it. It gets better.

 

[cutiebe2]

Why don't you try braids for the summer. IMO straightening even once a week is not going to help. You need to cut it out cold Turkey for the quickest results. If you do that, in 6 months you hair will be much healthier and you can try once a week heat (being careful).

I recently watched SunKissedAlba on youtube and her journey to get rid of her heat damaged hair. She has 3a/3b hair that was pretty long and it even took her a good year to see her hair at 100%. She kept her hair in a bun for months and kept cutting every few months.

 

[curlicarib]

As a teenager, I shaved my head several times. I know that's not for everyone, but if the damage is as bad as you say, that's what I would do. The damaged hair cannot be repaired, so why keep it around? It's the begining of summer, so by September, you'd have a pretty decent TWA going on.


Check out ManoganyCurls on youtube. Her hair type is similar to yours (3B'ish). Take a look at how she takes care of her natural hair and the BEAUTIFUL head of hair she's grown from practically bald.


BTW, I'm not a natural nazi. But adding more chemicals (QOD Max Organiq) to severely damaged hair will not improve it. It will only make things worst.

 

[koolkittychick]

You got a lot of sound advice, and unfortunately the majority of it points in one general direction; you have to make a decision on whether you want long, healthy hair or straight hair, because it seems your hair will not allow you to have both. Even if you give your hair all the rest it needs this summer and you achieve some recovery, the minute you go back to the heat you will negate everything you did over the summer, especially if you choose to keep your already damaged ends. 3b and 3c curls sounds like a lovely head of hair, and there are many YouTubers with similar textures who have learned to rock their curls fabulously, and I'm sure you could too.

You just have to understand that there is only so much you can do to your hair before it reaches its breaking point, literally, and nothing you can do will change that except stopping the thing that causes it.

I wear my hair relaxed, and when I was younger, I also colored it and used heat on it regularly--so it was always short, no matter how well I took care of it. When I decided I wanted long hair, I had to make the decision to give up a lot of the things I was doing to it to get to that length, even though I adored my dyed color, and enjoyed the convenience and versatility that relaxing and using heat gave me. In the end, I realized that if I wanted to stay relaxed, I had to give up both the color and the heat, because even keeping one of those styling options would keep me at shoulder length forever, because my hair simply could not take the abuse.

Just as others have learned to adapt, I'm sure you can learn to adjust to your natural hair as well. And if you are adamant about wearing your hair straight, maybe you can revisit relaxing your hair--but properly, and under the care of a professional who knows what they are doing. You would still have to give up heat in order to grow back your hair (as I had to), but it would be easier to achieve and maintain a straighter style with roller sets and wraps without using direct heat, and in my opinion would be a healthier alternative for your hair than heat or BKT, provided you learn how to stretch your touch ups and totally baby your hair with moisture and protein.

 

[mshoneyfly]

Avoiding heat as much as possible and being sure to keep your protein/moisture balance in check should allow you to see the results you want.

I went without direct heat for the past month and straightened this past Sunday. My chronically thin ends are noticeably filled in and thicker. My dd has been heatless since December and she went from one or two strands at bsl to full bsl with a lovely hemline.

I agree that roller setting is a good option for smoother styles without direct heat.

 

[havilland]

cut the ends.

do a deep protein treatment like Nexuss Emergencee or APhoghee two step

stay away from heat until your hair has healed....sorry but you can't throw the problem at create a solution. you have to fix it. part of fixing it is to stop breaking it.

if i was you i would try rollersets. you can achieve a straighter look with no direct heat.

in the past, anytime my hair was damaged what worked for me was some type of hair hiding....i would cut the damage and then wash and bun my hair for 6 months or weave for 6 months. hiding my hair helped me to heal my hair and also, not look at it all the time and obsess about how it looked.

good luck! and keep us posted

 

[jprayze]

All of these great style ideas and a whole summer to practice! Definitely stay on YouTube for tutorials!

You will be fine! I didn't like my curly hair when I was younger because most everyone else had straight hair, but now I love it and embrace it because its part of me. Sure I straighten my hair from time to time but I always come back to my curls. I pray you will get to that point too...so much better for your strands!

 

[goldenslumbers]

Thanks for the advice. After reading all of this and reconsidering everything I think I have made the decision that I am (gulp) not going to straighten my hair for 6 months. To be honest I don't know how I'll do that. And apparently I have to get a passport picture taken next week and my mother wants me to straighten my hair again.. .ugh... I'll have to learn more about buns and oil, moisturizing, protein treatments and things like that. I'm excited to get my hair back on track. I ordered some Nexxus Emergencee I plan on using next week.

I have tried wet-setting my hair before with both foam rollers and velcro rollers (I know, both bad. I'm working on getting some better ones) and it just never worked out. My texture remained exactly the same and the hair didn't curl. Also, with roller sets/ pin curls I would like to to have hair that didn't immediately turn into an afro after I try to brush/smooth them out. Thats why I straighten my hair then set them in rollers with gel and it will give waves for the whole week. Of course I'm probably doing it wrong so I'll have to look further into other smoothing methods.

I have some pictures now just so you can see what I'm dealing with. These are just from last night (yikes at my eyebrows. as said, if my hair grew back as fast as those I'd be in serious business).


First pic- This is all my hair pulled forward. Nothing is in the back


This is just showing how uneven the layers in my hair are. They weren't put there on purpose...


I have to always tuck the hair on my right side behind my ear because the top front part has been reduced to that... It refuses to straighten or grow out!


Another with all my hair pulled forward. It was very silky after straightening it this time around despite there being less hair than last time...


And finally from the back.

Many of you have said that I should learn to embrace my curls which of course isn't a bad idea at all. However, (this is going to sound teenager-esque and angsty but really I mean it) curly hair just isn't "my style". It doesn't fit my face well, and I just never liked curly hair in general. In my head it's an extremely unrealistic to think I could ever wear my hair in any sort of curly style, but I guess I'll have to bear it for 6 months at the least.

Essentially, I'm wanting to benefit my hair so it can just be strengthened enough to where it can look good and handle being straightened. I'll have to take breaks in between of course I suppose.

 

[goldenslumbers]

As a teenager, I shaved my head several times. I know that's not for everyone, but if the damage is as bad as you say, that's what I would do. The damaged hair cannot be repaired, so why keep it around? It's the begining of summer, so by September, you'd have a pretty decent TWA going on.


Check out ManoganyCurls on youtube. Her hair type is similar to yours (3B'ish). Take a look at how she takes care of her natural hair and the BEAUTIFUL head of hair she's grown from practically bald.


BTW, I'm not a natural nazi. But adding more chemicals (QOD Max Organiq) to severely damaged hair will not improve it. It will only make things worst.

Hm I certainly hope I'm not to the point where I have to shave it off. If I could wear wigs I would probably consider that though.

And really? I heard in my other thread the QOD Max Organiq would be beneficial once I've regained some strength.

 

[momi]

It can be done. I used to be a "straight" natural... The full length of my hair was heat trained. I changed salons (not because of heat damage) and started noticing my hair texture changing. Their technique allowed my hair to retain its texture. After about 8 months I just cut off the remaining straight ends.

 

[all_1_length]

Starting a regimen would be very helpful and provide consistent results.

Do your research on hair products and see what your hair responds well to.

Moisturizers (use daily to prevent dryness)

Oils (olive oil for strength, coconut oil for moisture , almond oil or castor oil for faster growth and regrowth in thinning areas, jojoba oil for sealing, essential oils like rosemary and peppermint for growth.)

Use a moisturizing a sulfate-free shampoo that won't strip your hair and make it dry.

Alternate moisturizing deep conditioners with protein conditioners for the proper moisture protein balance.

When styling your hair wrap it at night so you don't have to re-straighten it so often. Wrapping your hair will help it stay straight until you wash it again. This can also help you stretch out your washes so that you don't have to straighten so often. You may want to roller set your hair while it's wet and allow it to dry in the rollers to style your hair without using heat.

Hope this helps.

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

i think what people are trying to tell you, without being forceful, is that any heat on already heat damaged hair is just going to make it worse, even if you wait 6 months to do it.
you want to straighten your hair and maintain it that way
you want healthy hair
you don't want curly hair

something's going to have to give. or you should at least look into getting a few styles in your arsenal besides wearing it straight, or curly.
you're a very pretty girl, you could make anything work if you wanted to
also can i suggest a weekly reconstructor. aphogee 2 minute or tigi dumb blonde reconstructor are favourties of mine.

may i ask,
what do you consider your style/aesthetic? there's so many ways to express personal style. straight hair is one of many.

 

[koolkittychick]

Thanks for the advice. After reading all of this and reconsidering everything I think I have made the decision that I am (gulp) not going to straighten my hair for 6 months. To be honest I don't know how I'll do that. And apparently I have to get a passport picture taken next week and my mother wants me to straighten my hair again.. .ugh... I'll have to learn more about buns and oil, moisturizing, protein treatments and things like that. I'm excited to get my hair back on track. I ordered some Nexxus Emergencee I plan on using next week.

I have tried wet-setting my hair before with both foam rollers and velcro rollers (I know, both bad. I'm working on getting some better ones) and it just never worked out. My texture remained exactly the same and the hair didn't curl. Also, with roller sets/ pin curls I would like to to have hair that didn't immediately turn into an afro after I try to brush/smooth them out. Thats why I straighten my hair then set them in rollers with gel and it will give waves for the whole week. Of course I'm probably doing it wrong so I'll have to look further into other smoothing methods.

I have some pictures now just so you can see what I'm dealing with. These are just from last night (yikes at my eyebrows. as said, if my hair grew back as fast as those I'd be in serious business).


First pic- This is all my hair pulled forward. Nothing is in the back


This is just showing how uneven the layers in my hair are. They weren't put there on purpose...


I have to always tuck the hair on my right side behind my ear because the top front part has been reduced to that... It refuses to straighten or grow out!


Another with all my hair pulled forward. It was very silky after straightening it this time around despite there being less hair than last time...


And finally from the back.

Many of you have said that I should learn to embrace my curls which of course isn't a bad idea at all. However, (this is going to sound teenager-esque and angsty but really I mean it) curly hair just isn't "my style". It doesn't fit my face well, and I just never liked curly hair in general. In my head it's an extremely unrealistic to think I could ever wear my hair in any sort of curly style, but I guess I'll have to bear it for 6 months at the least.

Essentially, I'm wanting to benefit my hair so it can just be strengthened enough to where it can look good and handle being straightened. I'll have to take breaks in between of course I suppose.

I'm so sorry that you feel that way about your natural hair, and speaking as a woman who relaxes her hair, I can understand how you feel it may not be "your style" right now. From what I can see, you have a truly lovely, adorable face (dimple and all!) that would be perfectly suited to a head full of shiny, healthy, bouncy curls. Much more so than the unfortunate damage I see going on in these pictures.

It is my hope for you that someday you will grow into the gorgeous style that God gave you, and opt for the straight look only on occasion, because every girl needs a little variety in her life and hair.

For what it's worth, even though I relax, I miss my crazy, kinky type 4 hair. It was not my intent to go back to the "creamy crack" after being natural for four years; at the time, I felt I had to because I kept traumatizing my natural hair due to lack of knowledge, no access to good products for it, and trusting it to the wrong hands.

That is why over the last year and a half I have been learning to stretch my relaxers so that I can eventually long-term transition back to natural while "hiding" under the length I have already achieved. I realized that it wasn't the texture per se I was upset with when I was natural, it was the lack of visible length (I had no knowledge of how to keep natural type 4 hair stretched to avoid tangles and breakage and show some length, and my APL hair always looked to be about 3 inches long) which didn't suit my giant head, LOL. And since I didn't know how to take care of my natural hair, I couldn't get it to grow out to the length that would make me happy, or balance out my huge head. Thanks to this forum, now I know better, and as Maya Angelou would say, I'm going to do better.

I sincerely hope that you will also learn through this forum to do better by your hair, however you decide to style it. And please, don't hate your hair; I bet it's a lot lovelier than you think it is, and I hope someday you will be willing to share it with us in all it's curly glory.

Take care my dear, and good luck with your journey back to healthy hair. May you learn a wealth of positive things, and not just about your hair.

 

[havilland]

I had to come back to say you are a beautiful young lady

Take care of your hair please. Because as much as you hate curls and want straight hair, you need to decide that you want "hair". If you Keep messing around and damaging your hair and you can end up bald.

Take a break. Baby your hair. Trim. Treat it with care. And start to investigate ways to wear your hair that will keep it on your head.

(words of wisdom from a former heat addict. So I know how u feel. I used to fry my hair.....)

 

[goldenslumbers]

Lots of stuff to take in thanks for the advice. Hm. So it seems, if I'm correct, that the only way to repair my hair is to just not straighten it again? That would make me loose motivation for doing all the stuff that I'm doing now.

My main goal is to have healthy hair only so it can survive being straight more often, whether that be through straightening or relaxers or keratin treatments. I always told my mom when I was younger that I'd rather be bald than have my natural hair and I still mean it! There's just so much more you can do with straight hair.

Not to sound like a typical angry teenager, but if giving my hair a break for 6 months while eating healthy, taking a ton of vitamins, using protein re-builders, and starting a good regimen won't be beneficial unless I don't regularly straighten my hair again then I wouldn't find it worth it at all.

So new question that I'll revisit: Keratin treatments. When I got my Brazilian blowout done however many years ago, the stylist told me the more you do it, the more it builds up in your hair and eventually you can have close to permanently straight hair. Does this work with less harsh treatments such as the QOD Max Organiq? If I can get to the point of at least wavy hair, I could probably abandon straightening my hair every week.

Sorry for the angst.

 

[koolkittychick]

Lots of stuff to take in thanks for the advice. Hm. So it seems, if I'm correct, that the only way to repair my hair is to just not straighten it again? That would make me loose motivation for doing all the stuff that I'm doing now.

My main goal is to have healthy hair only so it can survive being straight more often, whether that be through straightening or relaxers or keratin treatments. I always told my mom when I was younger that I'd rather be bald than have my natural hair and I still mean it! There's just so much more you can do with straight hair.

Not to sound like a typical angry teenager, but if giving my hair a break for 6 months while eating healthy, taking a ton of vitamins, using protein re-builders, and starting a good regimen won't be beneficial unless I don't regularly straighten my hair again then I wouldn't find it worth it at all.

So new question that I'll revisit: Keratin treatments. When I got my Brazilian blowout done however many years ago, the stylist told me the more you do it, the more it builds up in your hair and eventually you can have close to permanently straight hair. Does this work with less harsh treatments such as the QOD Max Organiq? If I can get to the point of at least wavy hair, I could probably abandon straightening my hair every week.

Sorry for the angst.

Yes, that's a lot of angst, but that is expected for a teenager, so no need to apologize. As far as keratin treatments are concerned, from what I have learned from a friend who uses Max Organiq, it does not work that way. The damage from the treatment itself and the heat used to keep it straight will take over and cause breakage and/or dull, lifeless hair before it permanently alters your curl pattern for hair that cannot take heat.

No matter what avenue you try to go through, it seems you will always come back to the same place. Your hair cannot take constant heat without damage. Unless you choose to relax, you cannot wear your hair straight 100% of the time. And even if you choose to relax, if you try to keep it bone straight all the time with heat, you will more than likely not be able to grow your hair past shoulder length.

These are the facts that you are faced with, and you have to make some decisions based on them. Some girls have in fact decided to shave their heads in order to either wear extensions or wigs in the texture they prefer. It seems a bit drastic to me, but maybe doing so will give you the comfort of wearing the style you prefer while giving your real hair a chance to recuperate (if you take care of it under your wig or weave), and also maybe give you a chance to get used to its texture and all the great things you can do to it in the privacy of your home.

I know it's an out there suggestion, but it seems that you really have a negative view of your hair. Is it really just the texture, or what that texture represents to you? It's a very strong statement to make when you say you would rather be bald than deal with your natural hair, and one you may need to examine on a deeper level before it affects other aspects of your life.

I'm not trying to be mean, I am just worried for you that you may be setting yourself up for some serious self-esteem issues at such a young age.

 

[goldenslumbers]

Unless you choose to relax, you cannot wear your hair straight 100% of the time.

Really? I actually don't know much about relaxers. Actually, nothing at all. I just remembered the one I got when I was 10 or 11 which didn't work out too well at all. Thats when my hair first started to fall out and I remember it just frizzing up my hair rather than actually straightening it. How long does your hair stay straight with a relaxer?

Is it possible to grow and maintain healthy relaxed hair when it's not possible with using heat regularly?

And if thats the way things are then I'll probably 100% go with wigs/weaves no doubt. This is all very discouraging

 

[koolkittychick]

Really? I actually don't know much about relaxers. Actually, nothing at all. I just remembered the one I got when I was 10 or 11 which didn't work out too well at all. Thats when my hair first started to fall out and I remember it just frizzing up my hair rather than actually straightening it. How long does your hair stay straight with a relaxer?

Is it possible to grow and maintain healthy relaxed hair when it's not possible with using heat regularly?

And if thats the way things are then I'll probably 100% go with wigs/weaves no doubt. This is all very discouraging

Well, since you asked, I will answer, but you still have some hard decisions to make. If done correctly, either by a professional who cares about growing your hair or a do-it-yourself person who knows what they are doing, relaxed hair will stay permanently straight, and you can maintain that straightness without heat, but you will not be able to wear it out 100% of the time if you practice good hair maintenance and hair-growing techniques for relaxed hair.

I have been relaxed for the last 4 years. My stylist was excellent and she could relax me bone straight, which I could maintain easily without direct heat (as in a blow dryer or flat iron) by wrapping my hair and doing roller sets. When I went to see her for touch ups every four to six weeks, and I washed and deep conditioned it faithfully every week, it would stay shiny, healthy, and straight, but it never grew past my shoulders. My hair could not take having relaxer applied to it so often and be strong enough to grow long.

Long story short, the process of relaxing is applying a chemical to your hair that partially dissolves its curly inner structure so you can gently manipulate it to a straighter appearance before you add another chemical to stop the dissolving process. Actually, flat ironing, BKT, and perming all do the same thing, just with different chemicals or processes. That's why following instructions carefully or having a professional do it, and aftercare is so important, as in all those cases you are purposely damaging your hair in order to make it look different.

When I decided I wanted longer hair, I started to stretch my relaxer touch ups to every three months instead of once a month, and because I have type 4 hair, I learned new hair care techniques that were extremely gentle to my hair so my hair would not break off at the point where my natural hair grew in and my weaker, relaxed hair started. I also learned to do my relaxers at home, and in the eight months I have been self-relaxing my hair has grown five inches, taking me past APL on my way to BSL.

The trade off to that was that right around the sixth week or so, I had to stop wearing my hair out and wear it up in buns, French braids, or other updos because it became too much to deal with the very different textures of hair. Perhaps because you have type 3 hair, you can go longer, say, 8 to 10 weeks, but eventually the textures will compete too much and you will have to put your hair up if you stretch.

It is possible to grow your relaxed hair long without stretching, but that requires extreme dedication to your haircare and a competent stylist who will baby your hair on the level it needs to be able to grow.

Even if you decide to relax your hair, I would still give your hair the rest it needs this summer. Putting relaxer on heat damaged hair is just begging for a very bad result. Take that time to research caring for relaxed hair (this site is a good start) and make sure you have the resources available in your area to make this styling option work for you.

Whatever you do, good luck; you are a very pretty girl,all of you, and I hope you realize that as you mature into adulthood.

 

[Honey Bee]

goldenslumbers, I'd be curious to see your natural, non-flat-ironed texture. And what's your personal style? I'm sure some of the ladies here could help you with specific styling suggestions.

re: heat use. This is a board full of women who are willing to completely hide their hair (in buns, under wigs/ weaves) for years at a time if necessary to reach their goals. There is no magic pill to this hair thing, unfortunately. I don't know too many ladies here who use direct heat weekly. I was using it once a month (to trim my way out of some breakage) and people thought I was crazy.

You should definitely check out youtube for roller-setting tuts (that's considered 'indirect heat') if you really must wear your hair straight. I think that's the safest way to accomplish the style you want (until you find some heat-free ones).

 

[MileHighDiva]

I think you will be able to relate to MixedGirl. She had a Design Essentials treatment, I don't know the difference between it and a BKT. However, she is happy with the results. Maybe, she can come and give you some advice.