Recently divorced and already dating….

[Kinkyhairlady]

What do you ladies think of people like this? I think it is too soon to start dating after only a couple of months, maybe after 6 months to a year. Since I started this online dating stuff I have communicated with some nice men and some weirdos. I recently started communicating with one who’s divorce was just finalized earlier this month! Now I am not sure how I feel about this and if I was his ex I would be hella mad. According to him they are cool and were married for less than a year so he does not feel no animosity and is looking to move on with his life. Women are such sensitive creatures I cannot imagine being married to a man for less than a year and just letting go. Apparently the decision was mutual but it does not make sense to me. Anyways I don’t know this person but I know I will most like run into these situations of divorced men and usually I would write them off but some people might be genuine it is just hard to figure out who is.

 

[pookaloo83]

Just because they divorced a month ago, doesn't mean that they weren't mentally and physically divorced for 3 yrs prior, 1 yr prior etc..


I wouldn't put too much thought into it, but I can see both sides.

 

[chicitygirl]

I'd be more concerned that his marriage lasted less than a year...

 

[Transformer]

I wouldn't take a person serious---as to believe him when he says he is love with you on the second date....but there is no harm in dating. Just don't run off to Vegas.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I'd be more concerned that his marriage lasted less than a year...

He did explain it to me, seems like he was one of those very religious people who did not you know engage in certain activities (He claims he was a Virgin until marriage) and was looking for someone compatible. They both thought they were compatible and once entered the union realize they were not for eachother. I have seen this occur to folks but they stay married, especially if they were religious.

 

[Transformer]

He did explain it to me, seems like he was one of those very religious people who did not you know engage in certain activities (He claims he was a Virgin until marriage) and was looking for someone compatible. They both thought they were compatible and once entered the union realize they were not for eachother. I have seen this occur to folks but they stay married, especially if they were religious.

Okay....so he's officially crossed off my list. I'm not actually buying this story. If they were both virgins....you're satisfied with what you know.

 

[ThickHair]

For everyone it is diferent.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

Okay....so he's officially crossed off my list. I'm not actually buying this story. If they were both virgins....you're satisfied with what you know.

No he did not say she was I don't know. Maybe she was not and he did not satisfy her and he realized he couldn't and they call it quits. I would marry a Virgin I would work with him, lol.

 

[Guitarhero]

Honestly, he's on the rebound. They say that men have more hurt feelings in divorce, esp. if they didn't seek it out but were served. They also say that men overcome the death of a spouse sooner and seek further companionship earlier than widowed women. I'd say, follow your guts with this one, though. And there are so many men on online dating who lie about this stuff...only separated...or not even and telling somebody else they are. Some of them are even living at home looking to marry somebody else until they serve her with papers. Be very careful.

 

[panamoni]

Everyone's different. I've been separated for a little over two years now, and my divorce will be final (God willing) within the next 45 days or so. As soon as my divorce is final, I will be signing up for online dating sites (eHarmony requires you be single, not married to join). And just because my divorce will be recently final, doesn't mean I'm not ready to date. But, I have been spending the past two years, working on myself and separating myself emotionally, and in every other way. Of course, there still may be some effects, but I'm ready, and will explain to folks the separation.

Though, you are right to be cautious. I'd say trust your gut. He's not asking you to marry you right now, so enjoy dating, if that's what you want to do. If he's giving you signs he's not able to focus on you and his heart is elsewhere, then leave.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

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[shortycocoa]

Co-signing on the majority of the comments in this thread....although I'm mad late to the party (aren't I always? SMH....)

I think it doesn't really matter how soon after you start dating, when something is over it's over. Usually that happens way before some judge or court says it's legally over. Personally, I felt like and behaved like I was already divorced way before I told my husband I didn't want to be married to him anymore, on May 9th or 10th.

I remember him saying to me that he would feel some kind of way if I had started seeing someone else right away and the ink wasn't even dry on the divorce papers yet. I told him there wasn't any ink to be dried and we both already knew what it was when we decided it was over so it didn't matter.

If you ain't checking for somebody, you just ain't. It doesn't mean you have to wait some arbitrary amount of time after a divorce is final just so you can find the one that is.

So is there an update, OP? Are you and the dude in question still dating or did you decide to keep it moving?

 

[alwaysinchrist]

I was married less than a year n im ready to date. I see both sides but everybody marriage is different.

 

[cocoabutterfly]

I will be divorced one year, next month and not ready to start dating yet. I've spent the last 11 months working on me and I still need work besides I've been enjoying single life and I'm not ready to give that up yet. Making major decisions and not having to consult the hubby is a beautiful thing.

I know women who have had successful relationships soon after divorce and others who haven't, like others have said above, everyone is different.