Rape: Should We Change How We View Men as Christian Women?

[MonPetite]

Thanks for the insight ladies!

 

[Guitarhero]

Many things. This is a very serious thread and I probably have very many thoughts on the issue. It's so deep, I'm going to ponder it awhile. One thing, though, it's not that some men cannot control their penises...this type of passion is rooted in anger, domination and eventually objectification of humans - not initially sexual lust. I think we should all be careful, no matter our faith. But I cannot condemn all men for the actions of a few, neither can I suspect all of them as potential abusers. It's difficult once you've been the victim of a rape, hence the side of the poster of that thread. The victim need counseling because having a fear of rape and hatred for all those of the same sex as the perpetrator is a hell of its own.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Hmmmm interesting topic


I belive that as Christian women we should not live in fear to men. The bible says God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. A sound mind to make wise decisions not to be in compromising situations.If I knew a guy was physically attracted to me, I would not be alone in a apartment with him. Is it because Im some holy rollie? No, its because I put no confidence in my flesh and I dont want my good to evil spoken of.

So its not a fear that is associated with men, its more of a carefulness. Even with the brothers at my church I am very careful with how I carry myself, not wanting to put a stumblingblock before them. So im even more careful with men I dont know. I believe that we shouldnt be in fear to anyone but God.

 

[MonPetite]

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[Shimmie]

The way I see it (which is a rare statement coming from me).

However, the way I see it, is that any Good Christian Man, is not going to have any woman in his house or apartment 'alone', in the first place, unless it's his mother, his sister, his grandmother, or the woman that he is engaged / married to.

Why would he invite temptation and why would any woman (Christian) be alone in a man's home with him when he has already made it clear in the past that he was 'physically attracted' to her.

That's a pretty bold statement coming from a man (who is Christian), a statement that he really should not have made to any woman in the first place, let alone he should have his 'flesh' subdued; his 'thought's under control.

I'm not getting anything 'deep' out of this. It's simple. A woman doesn't have to put herself in such a vunerable position by being alone in a man's home, when he's not 'vested' in her as his wife or future wife.

How deep is that? I'm not trying to be offensive nor condescending. Somethings are just obviously simple. As Christian women we are not of this world. We do not pattern ourselves after the world when it comes to being social. Rape its self doesn't have to happen, just the simple course of a man and a woman being alone together without accountabiity. The flesh holds no account to anyone. A man and a woman alone is a natural course for nature to 'take it's course'. It's our decisions and our counscientiousness which yield to accountability, however when given the right conditions for the 'flesh' to rise, the flesh overtakes the conscience.

This issue is not deep. It just isn't.

 

[MonPetite]

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[Shimmie]

THAT is simple enough. Agreed.

Shimmie

The other issue however, like with family, how the do we parse the line?

Should a young woman never be left alone with male cousins?

What about with an uncle?

Or a half-brother?

Also, how much emphasis do we want to place on interactions that are "allowed"?

If a man says: "It's a shame that Eurocentric beauty standards praise only fair skin. Dark skinned women, like yourself, are attractive without having "pure white skin". I've been physically attracted to plenty of women your complexion, who were not the blonde, blue-eyed ideal. You're not ugly, simply because your hair isn't blonde. Some men prefer brunettes anyway!"

Should I clutch my pearls?

If a man says: "You're so hot! I hope my future wife looks like you." He's certainly going to get the side-eye, even though that's technically a "compliment", to some.

What I want to parse out is deeper than "don't yet young people mix, because, you know, they'll act like puppies!".

How do we take a serious assessment as the church on how we teach sexuality, gender, and social arrangement?

This right here is just way too much when all a man has to say, 'You're very pretty'. Period!

If a man says: "It's a shame that Eurocentric beauty standards praise only fair skin. Dark skinned women, like yourself, are attractive without having "pure white skin". I've been physically attracted to plenty of women your complexion, who were not the blonde, blue-eyed ideal. You're not ugly, simply because your hair isn't blonde. Some men prefer brunettes anyway!"

Why go into all of the dramatics especially when unsolicited. Red Flag Alert! He's trying too hard to win your confidence in him. The key words: 'Physically Attracted' are true red flags. Even the slave masters were physically attracted to the Black women on their plantation and they took full advantage of it. Toss that line out with the 'cat litter'.

When it's Family:

Okay, leaving girls alone with with family members should never be a concern however, there are far too many times when it has been and things have gone wrong. My grandmother was 'molested' when she was 12 years old by her sister's husband and my dad was the result of that incident.

However, in these situations, the family realizes that the danger signs and red flags were always there. 'We' just didn't 'see' them, blinded by feigned trust. But the signs are always there, meaning that before leaving a woman or a child male or female, with a family member, we have to tune into what God is trying to show us about the person(s).

As a child, I can remember being left alone with my Dad and Granddad (not the one who molested my grandmom), and I was always safe with them. I do remember my parents being very selective with whom they allowed to babysit me and my sisters (male and female family or babysitters).

As for young people 'mixing'... why not? That's what chaperones are for. As a teen, I remember the parents were always present; within ear shot and sight when 'friends' hung out together.

I'm not minimizing what your concerns are, for there is definitely far too many sexually related crimes ocurring these days among children and adults as victim. We can only use common sense and most of all, allow our hearts to be lead of God as with whom and where we allow ourselves and our children to be. And this applies to Churches as well. The devil is too active where he shouldn't be in the first place. The Church should be the place for healing not hurting.

 

[MonPetite]

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[Shimmie]

@ Shimmie Duly noted! You give it straight with no chaser. I love it.



That grieves my heart.



I have heard this a lot from survivors and their families. It's good to remind ourselves to be vigilant and not let emotions sway what's right before us.



This was the difference for me, my church of 12 years and the one I've recently joined did not push chaperons. We as Christian youth were simply expected to know better and do better --an honor system of sorts. My new church does push group interactions though, with fairly equally mixed groups for the 18+ set. I don't know what they do for the youngsters.



Absolutely well said!!

Your concerns are legitimate and I apologize for appearing 'cystic'. What you've shared and asked here is a 'wake-up' message for all of us to be vigilant and by reading your blogs, always beautiful.

God bless you, Little Lamb. Fret not little one. God is with you.

Sweet sleep

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I'm in total agreement in with this no chrisitan man or woman should be alone in a house where it's obvious that feelings were expressed...we really don't shun the appearane of evil we go into spritually and potentially harmful situations wided eye and by invitation it seems...

The way I see it (which is a rare statement coming from me).

However, the way I see it, is that any Good Christian Man, is not going to have any woman in his house or apartment 'alone', in the first place, unless it's his mother, his sister, his grandmother, or the woman that he is engaged / married to.

Why would he invite temptation and why would any woman (Christian) be alone in a man's home with him when he has already made it clear in the past that he was 'physically attracted' to her.

That's a pretty bold statement coming from a man (who is Christian), a statement that he really should not have made to any woman in the first place, let alone he should have his 'flesh' subdued; his 'thought's under control.

I'm not getting anything 'deep' out of this. It's simple. A woman doesn't have to put herself in such a vunerable position by being alone in a man's home, when he's not 'vested' in her as his wife or future wife.

How deep is that? I'm not trying to be offensive nor condescending. Somethings are just obviously simple. As Christian women we are not of this world. We do not pattern ourselves after the world when it comes to being social. Rape its self doesn't have to happen, just the simple course of a man and a woman being alone together without accountabiity. The flesh holds no account to anyone. A man and a woman alone is a natural course for nature to 'take it's course'. It's our decisions and our counscientiousness which yield to accountability, however when given the right conditions for the 'flesh' to rise, the flesh overtakes the conscience.

This issue is not deep. It just isn't.

 

[SummerSolstice]

just to clarify, you're not saying that people tend to get raped just because they're alone with a man when they shouldn't be? it seems like you're saying women who get raped put themselves in that position.

The way I see it (which is a rare statement coming from me).

However, the way I see it, is that any Good Christian Man, is not going to have any woman in his house or apartment 'alone', in the first place, unless it's his mother, his sister, his grandmother, or the woman that he is engaged / married to.

Why would he invite temptation and why would any woman (Christian) be alone in a man's home with him when he has already made it clear in the past that he was 'physically attracted' to her.

That's a pretty bold statement coming from a man (who is Christian), a statement that he really should not have made to any woman in the first place, let alone he should have his 'flesh' subdued; his 'thought's under control.

I'm not getting anything 'deep' out of this. It's simple. A woman doesn't have to put herself in such a vunerable position by being alone in a man's home, when he's not 'vested' in her as his wife or future wife.

How deep is that? I'm not trying to be offensive nor condescending. Somethings are just obviously simple. As Christian women we are not of this world. We do not pattern ourselves after the world when it comes to being social. Rape its self doesn't have to happen, just the simple course of a man and a woman being alone together without accountabiity. The flesh holds no account to anyone. A man and a woman alone is a natural course for nature to 'take it's course'. It's our decisions and our counscientiousness which yield to accountability, however when given the right conditions for the 'flesh' to rise, the flesh overtakes the conscience.

This issue is not deep. It just isn't.

 

[LoveisYou]

So I take it you ladies would be totally against having a male roommate?

 

[nathansgirl1908]

just to clarify, you're not saying that people tend to get raped just because they're alone with a man when they shouldn't be? it seems like you're saying women who get raped put themselves in that position.

As controversial as it sounds, yes, sometimes they do. There are countless stories of women allowing themselves to get drunk and helpless and go home with strange men they just met in a club or party setting. Then when they get raped they want to do the feminist roar and scream that regardless of the circumstances, he shouldn't have raped her. Wellll since we know that men tend to have trouble controlling themselves, and since we learned in kindygarten that you should be careful about talking to strangers, I think the feminist roar is misplaced. As a woman you should keep your wits about you and avoid dangerous and tempting situations. Period. Even if you aren't drunk, you should not just go into a situation with a man where you are alone and things could get out of control. Until women are willing to stop fighting the double standard and just handle themselves accordingly, it's going to continue happening.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

So I take it you ladies would be totally against having a male roommate?

Um yeah. It's not necessary. I'm sure a woman can find a woman to have as a roommate. I give the side eye to those kinds of situations. There's more going on than just being a roommate.

 

[aribell]

I don't think we need to change our view of men. Women are capable of molestation...but should every woman be treated as a potential abuser?

There's an element of common sense to it. Don't put yourself in situations where you are vulnerable to men whose character you do not know. Many women are victimized by men they know, but simply knowing a man does not mean he is of good character. And I wouldn't leave my children with someone just because they're family.

Sent from my LS670 using LS670

 

[LoveisYou]

Um yeah. It's not necessary. I'm sure a woman can find a woman to have as a roommate. I give the side eye to those kinds of situations. There's more going on than just being a roommate.

I guess I can see where you are coming from, but I definitely disagree with such a blanket statement. I think it all depends on the people and situations involved.

 

[dicapr]

As controversial as it sounds, yes, sometimes they do. There are countless stories of women allowing themselves to get drunk and helpless and go home with strange men they just met in a club or party setting. Then when they get raped they want to do the feminist roar and scream that regardless of the circumstances, he shouldn't have raped her. Wellll since we know that men tend to have trouble controlling themselves, and since we learned in kindygarten that you should be careful about talking to strangers, I think the feminist roar is misplaced. As a woman you should keep your wits about you and avoid dangerous and tempting situations. Period. Even if you aren't drunk, you should not just go into a situation with a man where you are alone and things could get out of control. Until women are willing to stop fighting the double standard and just handle themselves accordingly, it's going to continue happening.

While I agree that women need to be smart about the situations they find themselves in I cannot agree that getting drunk around a male makes it the woman's fault if they get raped. Rape is a violent act of dominance, not s.ex. It is not about a male's selfcontrol but rather his need to control another human being. Women should be smart but we shouldn't have to bare the blame when bad choices leads to us being victimized. For example, I know that going out at night is probably not the safest choice. However, due to work or circumstances it is sometimes necessary for me to be out and about town unaccompanied at night. Would it be my fault if something happened to me because I knowingly put myself in an unsafe situation? The bible states that if a man forces a woman and she cries out only the male is guilty of rape.

 

[MonPetite]

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[Shimmie]

My response to SummerSolstice, dicapr ( FYI to nathansgirl1908 )

No one deserves to be raped, No One! Whether it's a female, a male and God forbid, a child for children cannot defend themselves.

However, I agree with nathansgirl1908 's post. Her points are valid.

As sad as it is, there are women who place themselves in a position of compromise. And they know exactly what they are doing. They know it. With purpose and intent, they are out to seduce men to take them to bed.

I'm sorry if anyone disagrees, however, it's still the truth and it makes it bad for women who are truly innocent and they have such a horrid time in court / legal cases because of the women who do not master their behaviour.

Let me repeat this again before my post is misunderstood:

No one deserves to be raped, No One! Whether it's a female, a male and God forbid, a child for children cannot defend themselves.

In response to dicapr's post: A woman who gets drunk is a far cry from a woman who has to work at night. It is not the same compromise. For years, I worked late hours as I worked my way through college and took care of my children during the day. I worked while they were asleep and when my family was able to watch them, as they worked during the day. Many nights I had to come home on the bus, alone. So yes, it was high risk, and it was only by the grace of God that I was kept safe as well as my children during those years.

By contrast, a woman who chooses to get herself 'stinkin' drunk be it alone with a man in his home or hers, or in a bar or at a party, or a hotel room during an out of town business meeting with business associates.... SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. She's too drunk to 'fight' for herself or to even know what's going on.

I'll say it again:

No one deserves to be raped, No One! Whether it's a female, a male and God forbid, a child for children cannot defend themselves.

Natalie Holloway is a tragic example. No one except the 'sharks' in the ocean knows where she is. She thought it was 'cute' to get drunk and leave the bar with guys that she did not know.

The girl who went to Kobe Bryant's hotel room at 2:00 in the morning ????????

Like it or not, she was telling the man that she wanted to have sex with him. I don't want to hear about her 'innocense', she KNEW what she was doing. Was Kobe wrong? Indeed he was and always will be. So was the 'fast' acting girl.

I've had it with the behaviour of women who think it's cute to dress close to naked, to go clubs, doing the booty clap on the dance floor, get drunk thinking it's cute and then get mad when a man makes a play on her.

Just who are they kidding? They have 'invited' the men to approach them. They are literally advertising and inviting a man to be sexually aroused ...for whatever reason they deem justified.

Somewhere along the line, women have to take responsiblity for their actions which incites sexual arousal and/or dominance in men.

Rape is WRONG ! ! ! It is WRONG ! Rape will ALWAYS be WRONG !

And wrong will always be the women who help it along. And as long as 'we' choose to be in denial of this, it only makes it worse for women and children and even the men, who did nothing to incite such violence in their lives.

There are women out there who know what's up and how to get down and then cry rape, when indeed it could have been avoided. They're wrong. They are indeed wrong and they need to just stop. It's hurting the truly innocent ones who have been deeply injured and scarred mentally, physically and spiritually.

Again, so that I will not be misunderstood or misquoted:

No one deserves to be raped, No One! Whether it's a female, a male and God forbid, a child for children cannot defend themselves.

 

[Shimmie]

t

So I take it you ladies would be totally against having a male roommate?

I guess I can see where you are coming from, but I definitely disagree with such a blanket statement. I think it all depends on the people and situations involved.

There's no way around this issue. It will always be unacceptable especially for a Christian woman. The 'world' has a carefree attitude that it doesn't matter or that it depends upon the people / situations. However, it's still not acceptable.

LoveisYou ... :Rose:

There's always compromise when a man and a woman share the same living space. He 'hears' you in the shower/tub and his mind is 'wondering' and wandering. You're in separate bedrooms, yet he still 'wonders'.

It's far different than living with a sister or a female roommate.

Note: I'm using 'first person singular' ('you', 'your') in the general sense, not 'you' personally.

There's no validation if he is a 'Christian', for why would 'you' tempt your brother in Christ or to put him in such a position to be tempted.

If he is a non-Christian ... that's alone speaks for its self.

it is a known fact that men think about sex every two seconds of their waking hours. Ummmm yeah. 'Google' it.

Another thing to consider:

What happens when God brings a man into your life? What then? How will he (a potential husband) feel or think about you living with another man?

Men KNOW Men.... (Men know how 'men' think about women and sex and what arouses them). It will never be an innocent or valid reason that will settle in his heart. He will always wonder if 'anything' ever came close to happening between you and your 'male' room mate.

Male and female roommates are just another 'trap' of satan to get people into sexual sin. It's a known fact that most such arrangements do end up with sexual involvement and seldom a permanant relationship.

Just in case it's a thought, living with a gay man is not acceptable either.

 

[Shimmie]

As controversial as it sounds, yes, sometimes they do. There are countless stories of women allowing themselves to get drunk and helpless and go home with strange men they just met in a club or party setting. Then when they get raped they want to do the feminist roar and scream that regardless of the circumstances, he shouldn't have raped her.

Wellll since we know that men tend to have trouble controlling themselves, and since we learned in kindygarten that you should be careful about talking to strangers, I think the feminist roar is misplaced.

As a woman you should keep your wits about you and avoid dangerous and tempting situations. Period. Even if you aren't drunk, you should not just go into a situation with a man where you are alone and things could get out of control. Until women are willing to stop fighting the double standard and just handle themselves accordingly, it's going to continue happening.

Just wanted to thank you for 'putting this out there'.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

You're taking this to an extreme. And it's an extreme I often see where some women don't want to recognize that everyone has to SOMETIMeS take responsibility for putting themselves in a bad situation. I thought it was clear that the distinctions in my post were to be drawn between truly innocent situations and outright irresponsible behavior. I'm not talking about someone who has to walk to the bus stop. I'm talking about someone who goes to a man's house the same night after meeting him for the first time. I'm talking aout someone who gets so drunk they are helpless. That actually happened in NY. The cops accused of rape got off. Why? Because the woman was drunk. Too drunk. She couldn't prove anything actually occurred.

It's not too much to ask to use common sense. And that doesn't mean viewing every man as a potential rapist.

Good question. Perhaps we should? Paranoia isn't attractive, though.



Sent from my LS670 using LS670

So where does that leave us in our daily lives?

Having read the bolded, it seems clear the "common sense" thing to do is see all men as potential rapists if "even the ones we know" can be of "bad character" and just "knowing them" isn't enough?

And what is "vulnerable" to you may be life for someone else (like having to walk to bus stop and wait to get to work so you can feed yourself, and you can only do the swing shift at this job because you work two others, in this hard economy.)

"Vulnerable" becomes a slippery slope. (Though some things, yes, are obvious --don't walk down the street drunk and naked, though, you SHOULD be able to, safely, we know that's not how life works).

That is not how I want to live life, but I know I'll always be thrown under the bus by society (and likely the Church) if I'm working late, have to walk to my car (security isn't always there to walk you to your car, mase can only do so much, wearing Pumas only does so much, my brief case is heavy), and I bump into a guy I know from Youth Group walking his dog and "whoops!" he does something to me.

Whether I'm wary of him or I'm relieved to see a "Man of God" who I should be able to count on to protect me --I'll be blamed for any violence that occurs.

Many a churchgoer will be the first to say: You shouldn't work, you shouldn't trust him, you should have trusted him more --then he'd see you as a sister and not hurt you, you should've run faster, you should've screamed louder, you should've been barefoot and pregnant, you should've been in the kitchen, you should've had holy water with you, what-have-you, etc. instead of saying:

That was a terrible thing that happened. He needs to be punished. Come and be healed.

I find this almost as troubling as navigating this world with a vagina.

 

[dicapr]

It seems that the issue hear is actually the way the woman dresses and her level of intoxication. If the issue was truely about behaviors that are dangerous woman walking into work in the morning or in leaving the office late at night should be just as much to blame for any attack as a drunk woman. She knowingly and willfully placed herself in harms way just as the intoxicated woman. Even women who are not intoxicated are sometimes unable to identify their rapist.

 

[Shimmie]

It seems that the issue hear is actually the way the woman dresses and her level of intoxication. If the issue was truely about behaviors that are dangerous woman walking into work in the morning or in leaving the office late at night should be just as much to blame for any attack as a drunk woman. She knowingly and willfully placed herself in harms way just as the intoxicated woman. Even women who are not intoxicated are sometimes unable to identify their rapist.

This time of year, it gets dark early. Most people do not get off from work until 5:00 p.m. and it's dark. Be it a male or female, they cannot help but be in the dark while trying to get home. Especially women who have to stop at a day care to pick up their child/ren and then go home. What choice does she have? She didn't create the seasons and the time it gets dark. She has to get home

Now... a woman who chooses to leave work, goes to 'happy hour' (which is totally unnecessary), she gets drunk and leaves to go home in the dark, she has carelessly 'invited' herself to be in harm's way.

Major difference....

Important: dicapr

This is for you My post responses are not addressed to you personally nor anyone else in this thread.

It's the topic, not you.

Happiest of New Year Blessings to you and your loved ones.

 

[Shimmie]

.... between truly innocent situations and outright irresponsible behavior. I'm not talking about someone who has to walk to the bus stop.


I'm talking about someone who goes to a man's house the same night after meeting him for the first time.

I'm talking aout someone who gets so drunk they are helpless.

That actually happened in NY. The cops accused of rape got off. Why? Because the woman was drunk. Too drunk. She couldn't prove anything actually occurred.

It's not too much to ask to use common sense. And that doesn't mean viewing every man as a potential rapist.

What bothers me is that many women who drink become very 'flirty' and it gives men the impression that they are being propositioned by the woman.

As I shared in my post upwards and I truly know that you agree, is that no one deserves to be raped. No one

But there are behaviours of some women which need to be addressed. It's not fair to the innocent victims of rape who truly deserve to seek and obtain justice in the legal system, yet many of their cases have been deteriorated due to the mishaviours of women who were just plain 'out there' and didn't care how they behaved, where and with whom.

It breaks my heart to say this, but not all women are innocent victims.

In saying this, I still maintain for those reading that I do not dismiss anyone who has been raped; i do not validate rape for any reason. I never did and never will.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

What bothers me is that many women who drink become very 'flirty' and it gives men the impression that they are being propositioned by the woman.

As I shared in my post upwards and I truly know that you agree, is that no one deserves to be raped. No one
But there are behaviours of some women which need to be addressed. It's not fair to the innocent victims of rape who truly deserve to seek and obtain justice in the legal system, yet many of their cases have been deteriorated due to the mishaviours of women who were just plain 'out there' and didn't care how they behaved, where and with whom.
It breaks my heart to say this, but not all women are innocent victims.
In saying this, I still maintain for those reading that I do not dismiss anyone who has been raped; i do not validate rape for any reason. I never did and never will.

Youre right i agree with you that No one deserves to be raped. I find it sad that any attempts to analyze situations and discuss preventive measures is typically characterized in such a way.

And to piggyback on point you have made, Katt Williams tells a joke about women in the club acting a certain way and then being offended when a man approaches them in a certain way. He said, "you're a ----- over there. I thought you'd be a ----- over here." The language is crass but the point is well taken.

 

[Shimmie]

You're right i agree with you that No one deserves to be raped. I find it sad that any attempts to analyze situations and discuss preventive measures is typically characterized in such a way.

And to piggyback on point you have made, Katt Williams tells a joke about women in the club acting a certain way and then being offended when a man approaches them in a certain way. He said, "you're a ----- over there. I thought you'd be a ----- over here." The language is crass but the point is well taken.

Kat Williams is raw but he's telliing the raw truth about raw behaviour.

And it's not just the ladies in the club. Some of the ladies in Church are misbehavin' for the wrong attention and then cry 'offended'. And these are not 'newbies' in the pew. They know better.

Holy 'Cheese Cakes'....

I don't want to see or hear of any one getting hurt (raped) for any reason. When possible that we all render caution by all means necessary. My prayer is that God's grace continues to fall upon all of us wherever we are in this life. And the healing of God rests upon those who have been violated. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

 

[LoveisYou]

t



There's no way around this issue. It will always be unacceptable especially for a Christian woman. The 'world' has a carefree attitude that it doesn't matter or that it depends upon the people / situations. However, it's still not acceptable.

@LoveisYou ... :Rose:

There's always compromise when a man and a woman share the same living space. He 'hears' you in the shower/tub and his mind is 'wondering' and wandering. You're in separate bedrooms, yet he still 'wonders'.

It's far different than living with a sister or a female roommate.

Note: I'm using 'first person singular' ('you', 'your') in the general sense, not 'you' personally.

There's no validation if he is a 'Christian', for why would 'you' tempt your brother in Christ or to put him in such a position to be tempted.

If he is a non-Christian ... that's alone speaks for its self.

it is a known fact that men think about sex every two seconds of their waking hours. Ummmm yeah. 'Google' it.

Another thing to consider:

What happens when God brings a man into your life? What then? How will he (a potential husband) feel or think about you living with another man?

Men KNOW Men.... (Men know how 'men' think about women and sex and what arouses them). It will never be an innocent or valid reason that will settle in his heart. He will always wonder if 'anything' ever came close to happening between you and your 'male' room mate.

Male and female roommates are just another 'trap' of satan to get people into sexual sin. It's a known fact that most such arrangements do end up with sexual involvement and seldom a permanant relationship.

Just in case it's a thought, living with a gay man is not acceptable either.

@Shimmie I was responding to the idea that "there's always more" I wouldn't necessarily think there is something else going on between a man and a woman who are roommates. I wouldn't make such an assumption or draw such a conclusion. I don't automatically think "sexual involvement" when I hear of opposite sex roommates. I can't and won't make that call without more.

I am not debating the "rightness" or "wrongness" of a man and woman living together. I m not debating the risks etc. I am simply talking about drawing conclusions not based on facts.

I think you bring up some great points to think about, I just wanted to address that particular assumption, which I understand but don't support.

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie I was responding to the idea that "there's always more" I wouldn't necessarily think there is something else going on between a man and a woman who are roommates. I wouldn't make such an assumption or draw such a conclusion. I don't automatically think "sexual involvement" when I hear of opposite sex roommates. I can't and won't make that call without more.

I am not debating the "rightness" or "wrongness" of a man and woman living together. I m not debating the risks etc. I am simply talking about drawing conclusions not based on facts.

Okay, Please help me to understand exactly what you are sharing.

For the record, I'm not being confrontational. I'm just trying to understand the reason for the question of men and women roommates?

Do you agree with a man and a woman (unmarried to each other) living together as roommates?

Do you feel that there are reasons to validate this?

Are you saying that a man and a woman have a right to live as such and not be 'suspect'?

I agree that no one should falsely accuse anyone, however, why would a Christian put themselves in such a position of 'suspect'. God isn't going to place anyone in that position.

The fact is that it's unnecessary and should never be validated. It's a human choice which indeed becomes suspect and a lack of faith, that God has better living arrangements for them which will not put them in a position of being tempted or suspected of such.

This is why 'folks' get messed up, by using rhymns and reasons for doing what the world does and the Church needs to come correct on this deception. God simply doesn't place us in positions of compromise.

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

James 1:13

The word 'evil' is a strong word .... it's not being applied to you. Okay? I just want to make that clear.

Again, this is not controversy nor an afront towards you. I'm just trying to understand the reason for the question.

Blessings to you...

 

[LoveisYou]

Okay, Please help me to understand exactly what you are sharing.

For the record, I'm not being confrontational. I'm just trying to understand the reason for the question of men and women roommates?

Do you agree with a man and a woman (unmarried to each other) living together as roommates?

Do you feel that there are reasons to validate this?

Are you saying that a man and a woman have a right to live as such and not be 'suspect'?

I agree that no one should falsely accuse anyone, however, why would a Christian put themselves in such a position of 'suspect'. God isn't going to place anyone in that position.

The fact is that it's unnecessary and should never be validated. It's a human choice which indeed becomes suspect and a lack of faith, that God has better living arrangements for them which will not put them in a position of being tempted or suspected of such.

This is why 'folks' get messed up, by using rhymns and reasons for doing what the world does and the Church needs to come correct on this deception. God simply doesn't place us in positions of compromise.

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

James 1:13

The word 'evil' is a strong word .... it's not being applied to you. Okay? I just want to make that clear.

Again, this is not controversy nor an afront towards you. I'm just trying to understand the reason for the question.

Blessings to you...

@Shimmie I am not questioning the validity of a man and woman living together, I have heard both sides of the issue from Christians and actually lean toward your reasoning.

I was simply explaining to you that I was responding to another poster's statement that there is always something more. I don't believe there is always something more, I am careful in making conclusions about people's lives based on assumptions alone - that is the specific issue that I responded to in my second post. Again I am not debating the validity of opposite sex roommates, I asked a question, someone responded, and I responded to that poster. You responded to my response, and I provided clarification (I hope). That's all.


Blessings to you.