Random thought on dating and relationships for April 08

[locabouthair]

1. Isn't it funny when you're single and you say you want to be yourself for a little while. Whenever guys try to talk to you, you politely turn them down, you don't even want to do a coffee date. BUT then your Mr. Big (or something like it) somehow comes back in your life and when he mentions the possibility of you two being together, you're actually considering it.....

2. You find yourself always daydreaming about your dream guy. You can't wait to find a guy that appreciates you and loves you for you and he isn't afraid to show it You fantasize about the things you two will do together, little romantic moments and then you say HOLD UP!!


















Aren't I dating/seeing Q? But yet I'm fantasizing about a guy I never met yet. LADIES IF YOU FIND YOURSELF DOING THIS THEN YOU NEED TO MOVE ON! Whoever you're dating is not doing it for you and you're probably settling and /or hoping the guy you're seeing would change.

Just something that I thought about when I was on the train today. And I'm not judging anyone, unfortunately these are all my experiences.

Anyway, add your random thoughts about dating or relationships. Whatever's on your mind, post it! If you feel comfortable sharing

 

[cocoaluv]

Cocoa needs to get on her grind about money/career and education cuz these "distractions" (men) have none of the above and are just in my friggen way.




Plus my vibrator is 1000000000 x's better and at least it doesnt stress me out

 

[locabouthair]

Cocoa needs to get on her grind about money/career and education cuz these "distractions" (men) have none of the above and are just in my friggen way.




Plus my vibrator is 1000000000 x's better and at least it doesnt stress me out

I feel you on that!

 

[Ramya]

I dont want to be with SO anymore. I feel selfish for continuing to work on the relationship when I know that he is not the one for me and I am not for him (plus God said NO) I'm not what he needs and i'm OK with that. I hope he finds someone who can give him what he needs.

 

[locabouthair]

I dont want to be with SO anymore. I feel selfish for continuing to work on the relationship when I know that he is not the one for me and I am not for him (plus God said NO) I'm not what he needs and i'm OK with that. I hope he finds someone who can give him what he needs.

I think you're being very mature about it.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Great Thread!

1. I'm running into some rough "single" patches. I mean, there are times when I think being single is the BOMB! But when those hormones start kicking my butt, I'm all sad and lonely and on the verge of doing "desperate" stuff. But my plan to stay single for the rest of this year is really teaching me some valuable lessons about myself.

2. Something about my game must be off because guys are not trying to talk to me much anymore. I'm doing the whole single thing and all, but I still wanna date and get to know some guys. Geez.

3. I've also been fantasizing a lot about my dream guy. My tastes are changing daily as well. Perhaps this hiatus will serve as a time for me to figure out what I want.

4. MEN ARE SO PREDICTABLE!

Will be back with more random thoughts!

 

[Mena]

I enjoy being single and free. However, I have these moments where I think about getting with my ex but we are NOT right for each other. Then, sometimes I will call an old ex just so I can talk to a guy. My game is alright. I am holding down on the celibacy thing. Life is good. I hope removing myself from the dating scene will help me focus on other more important goals.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

dating is great especially when you learn to put your big girl drawls on and speak up instead of keeping things to yourself.

Communication is truly the key

there is nothing wrong with putting in some effort in the beginning if he is worth it.

we tend to know if they are worth it but we ignore it.

Yes we sabbotage some really good relationships cause we all aren't perfect.

it's good when you meet someone who respects you and isn't treating you like any other chick.

Spending time doesn't always have to be going out. the true test is can you be alone with him in silence and still enjoy his company and does he enjoy yours?

Prior to sex how much do you really know? Make sex the icying for a job well done on both parts, not as an opener, or a sealer.

speak the hell up!!!

Falling is a beautiful thing.

 

[jade998]

The man you will marry might not look like the image you have in your head...

I need to focus on getting a new job and if I spent the amount of time on my job hunt as I do on trying to figure men out or to get an even tone skin, I would be the CEO of a major company

I don't want to say this (due to speaking this forth) but sometimes it feels like slim pickings here in London - But I know God wanted me in this city, so I have to believe he is here

I am okay for now if no man touches me - It is okay to take time to heal inner wounds

If one more person asks me if I have a man I might strangle them

 

[Dposh167]

If one more person asks me if I have a man I might strangle them

if one more person asks me WHY I DON'T have one, I'm gonna cut them, then strangle

 

[Dposh167]

- I think I'm walking around with a sign on my back that says "Men age 39+ come talk to me"...(why do i only attract older men)

- there shouldn't be such a stigma against online dating...as long as ur careful. Just b/c u met someone face to face first, does not mean they can't be C R A Z Y too.

- I owe it to myself to start waiting to be intimate with a guy that I'm seeing. I just hope they don't get too tired of waiting and leave.

- open ur mind Poochie....stop being so critical...When a guy doesn't turn out to be the image that I have of him in my head, its not the end of the world.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

if one more person asks me WHY I DON'T have one, I'm gonna cut them, then strangle

Can someone please give me a good answer to this question. Its annoying when people ask me and i just want to say something rude and instead i just smile. ugh. I always jump into relationships quickly with a guy and things go really fast then by the 3rd month or so, i start getting bored.
I need to try being friends 1st then if they're relationship material i can date them. I want to learn how to do this.

 

[cocoaluv]

- I think I'm walking around with a sign on my back that says "Men age 39+ come talk to me"...(why do i only attract older men)

- there shouldn't be such a stigma against online dating...as long as ur careful. Just b/c u met someone face to face first, does not mean they can't be C R A Z Y too.

- I owe it to myself to start waiting to be intimate with a guy that I'm seeing. I just hope they don't get too tired of waiting and leave.

- open ur mind Poochie....stop being so critical...When a guy doesn't turn out to be the image that I have of him in my head, its not the end of the world.

IDK if I asked u this before or not but where online do you go?

 

[dannie]

ITA Poochie. Ive met some wonderful guys online. They out shine the guys i meet IRL by far. Its the only way to go for me.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

my ex and I are having a hard time letting go. i miss my baby...anywho...i found that the self help book THE ONE should be read by anyone who is having problems dating.

It's a great book with alot of insightful tips about things you may never think was standing in your way. Also good for day to day relationships as well.

Happy dating!

ps. I did online dating on Black Planet 5years ago and met 3 guys on there i still talk to now. GREAT guys.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

The weather is making me feel so lovey dovey.

Boyfriends are awesome, best friends are better, but when you have both in one person it's borderline amazing.

After some very unexpected happenings last week I'm really glad I'm not with my ex. It took awhile to get over it, but now I'm in a place that's ten times better.

 

[Mena]

ITA Poochie. Ive met some wonderful guys online. They out shine the guys i meet IRL by far. Its the only way to go for me.

Beautiful hair!

 

[Ms Red]

Isn't it funny (and ironic a la Alanis) when you *think* you're in love, but then you meet someone who makes you feel like all of the most romantic movies combined...?

You think "Ah, so this is what love should feel like!" and you wonder what took you so long to get it.

There is nothing better than a man who is your friend, your lover, an open communicator and trustworthy. Someone who finally puts his cards out on the table and allows you to do so as well without feeling awkward.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

My random thought...

Sometimes things just don't come around when you think they will. And when they do come around unexpectedly, sometimes you just have to take a chance without thinking about it.

I had been on a purposeful dating hiatus for about 3 months. Then, someone who I had a little crush on shocked the hell out of me by asking me out. In fact, I was so taken by surprise that it wasn't until the end of the date that i REALIZED it was a date! I've been stunned by the whole thing because, no kidding, about 2 weeks before he asked me out, I was like "You know, I bet (this guy) is the type of guy that I should look for when I decide to start dating again."

Another thought - you've really gotta learn to go with the flow and don't force anything.

Things are very casual right now. Just hanging out. Have no idea whether or not things will go anywhere beyond hanging out. But you know what? I'm actually okay with that.

Last thought - learn the difference between "hopes" and "expectations."

Hopes are aspirational. You realize that a situation that you really would like to happen, but you realize there's a good chance that it may not happen. Thus, if it doesn't happen, you're disappointed, but you end up being fine.

On the other hand, an expectation is something more concrete - something that you literally EXPECT to happen, and if it doesn't, then you often end up more than disappointed.

In this instance, I HOPE that I will continue to get to know him and spend more time with him. I HOPE that there's a chance that this could lead to something very nice.

However, I do not expect that it will lead to anything or that things may go so far as to allow us to get to know each other on a deeper level.

But, I am definitely allowing myself to enjoy the present and enjoy my hopes about the future.

 

[locabouthair]

My random thought...

Sometimes things just don't come around when you think they will. And when they do come around unexpectedly, sometimes you just have to take a chance without thinking about it.

I had been on a purposeful dating hiatus for about 3 months. Then, someone who I had a little crush on shocked the hell out of me by asking me out. In fact, I was so taken by surprise that it wasn't until the end of the date that i REALIZED it was a date! I've been stunned by the whole thing because, no kidding, about 2 weeks before he asked me out, I was like "You know, I bet (this guy) is the type of guy that I should look for when I decide to start dating again."

Another thought - you've really gotta learn to go with the flow and don't force anything.

Things are very casual right now. Just hanging out. Have no idea whether or not things will go anywhere beyond hanging out. But you know what? I'm actually okay with that.

Last thought - learn the difference between "hopes" and "expectations."

Hopes are aspirational. You realize that a situation that you really would like to happen, but you realize there's a good chance that it may not happen. Thus, if it doesn't happen, you're disappointed, but you end up being fine.

On the other hand, an expectation is something more concrete - something that you literally EXPECT to happen, and if it doesn't, then you often end up more than disappointed.

In this instance, I HOPE that I will continue to get to know him and spend more time with him. I HOPE that there's a chance that this could lead to something very nice.

However, I do not expect that it will lead to anything or that things may go so far as to allow us to get to know each other on a deeper level.

But, I am definitely allowing myself to enjoy the present and enjoy my hopes about the future.

Love this whole post

Another thought:

When you feel like a guy is such a great catch, really ask yourself why he's a catch and what's so great about him.

I finally had to ask myself what was so great about this guy that I was tripping over him. I think i was so amazed by him because he accomplished what most people in their twenties havent. His own crib, car, good job, working on his masters. All things I don't have but wish I did.

Then I had to ask myself if I had all those things would I still be amazed by him. Probably not. Instead of me thinking he's such a catch for having those things I need to work on having those things myself. Not that I was looking for him to take care of me or anything, not at all. I just got caught up because a lot of guys don't have what he has. Now I know better. Im moving on.

 

[Nayeli]

The weather is making me feel so lovey dovey.

Boyfriends are awesome, best friends are better, but when you have both in one person it's borderline amazing.

After some very unexpected happenings last week I'm really glad I'm not with my ex. It took awhile to get over it, but now I'm in a place that's ten times better.

URM.........................DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My random thoughts - there's indescribable security in knowing that someone loves you, because of and in spite of who you are.

Funny how the most perfect guy could be staring you in the face and it takes you years to realise it.

And my best guy friend told me this one but I can only now testify to its truth, that's why I've been thinking about his quote lately. Said with a Trinidadian accent, "when is d right person, allyuh does just fall into a groove" - oh so very true.

 

[Mena]

Love this whole post

Another thought:

When you feel like a guy is such a great catch, really ask yourself why he's a catch and what's so great about him.

I finally had to ask myself what was so great about this guy that I was tripping over him. I think i was so amazed by him because he accomplished what most people in their twenties havent. His own crib, car, good job, working on his masters. All things I don't have but wish I did.

Then I had to ask myself if I had all those things would I still be amazed by him. Probably not. Instead of me thinking he's such a catch for having those things I need to work on having those things myself. Not that I was looking for him to take care of me or anything, not at all. I just got caught up because a lot of guys don't have what he has. Now I know better. Im moving on.

We are totally on the same page. This is why I was with my last ex. I learned that lesson. MOving on

 

[shelly25]

-I hate the fact that he has a ton of female friends (like 80% of them lol)
-I'm wondering if I should just get over it and accept the fact that he's always gonna have female friends. I still won't like it though.
-Myspace really is "the devil" lol. I know it's just the internet/only myspace, but I wonder if I should really trip off of the stuff I see on his page/the comments he makes on chicks' pictures...

 

[itismehmmkay]

Do you + Let him call + Answer when you feel like it = Reduced Stress

 

[locabouthair]

Do you + Let him call + Answer when you feel like it = Reduced Stress

So true

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Love this whole post

Another thought:

When you feel like a guy is such a great catch, really ask yourself why he's a catch and what's so great about him.

I finally had to ask myself what was so great about this guy that I was tripping over him. I think i was so amazed by him because he accomplished what most people in their twenties havent. His own crib, car, good job, working on his masters. All things I don't have but wish I did.

Then I had to ask myself if I had all those things would I still be amazed by him. Probably not. Instead of me thinking he's such a catch for having those things I need to work on having those things myself. Not that I was looking for him to take care of me or anything, not at all. I just got caught up because a lot of guys don't have what he has. Now I know better. Im moving on.

you are so right! I realized this with my ex as well. all though i do love him for putting me out there to do things I would not normally do. He is/was helping me grow.

what you admire in others is definitely something you want for yourself or already have but don't rate.