Random relationship vent

[zzirvingj]

(Please do not quote)

I'm moving out of the state from GA to IL in a few days and something's bothering me.

I have a cousin who is like my sister who lives in the same current city as me. I haven't heard from her in two weeks which was right after I had told her I got the job offer. I know she's probably been busy, but she's the only person who knows I'm leaving that hasn't called me since finding out.

Like family and friends we all have our ups and downs but this stresses me a tad because this isn't like her...I don't know if I did something wrong or what. The original plan was for me to leave this weekend so I'm sure she's heard from family that I'm going up this weekend. Anyways I called her today and let her know that I'm leaving in a few days and when could I see her. Long story short, we're going to meet up Monday afternoon for lunch because I'm not heading out now til Tuesday.

May sound like I'm rambling but the point here is that I have a feeling that something is wrong for her not to care when I leave...I could be wrong but I guess I will find out when we talk at lunch. It just doesn't make sense that there hasn't been one question about my new job, what I'll be doing, am I excited, when's my last day here, need any help packing, etc etc...Intuition is telling me that if I hadn't called her she wouldn't have contacted me before I left.

 

[hopeful]

I have found that sometimes people just aren't that excited or interested in what we are doing. Also, some people don't deal with change well. Some hate saying good bye. Some wish they were the one moving. It could be anything, but I doubt it's anything you did.

 

[zzirvingj]

I have found that sometimes people just aren't that excited or interested in what we are doing. Also, some people don't deal with change well. Some hate saying good bye. Some wish they were the one moving. It could be anything, but I doubt it's anything you did.

Thanks...I needed to hear this. I have a bad habit of jumping to the conclusion that 'it's me' sometimes when it may have nothing to do with me. I also have the bad habit of expecting people to do as I do (be interested, offer to help, etc.) but that's unrealistic and nobody's perfect so...

I had just been worried because this isn't like her; we're pretty close, do things together often, are like sisters, etc., so it 'feels' like something is wrong but may be just in my head. Perhaps my real problem is that it hurts a little because it's just beginning to feel like the other person doesn't care/isn't interested/etc.

 

[SelahOco]

She might feel you're leaving her behind.

 

[ThickHair]

Call her......

 

[hopeful]

ITA with SelahOco She may just be sad that you are leaving. And knowing you are so excited may hurt a little.

 

[loolalooh]

I have found that sometimes people just aren't that excited or interested in what we are doing. Also, some people don't deal with change well. Some hate saying good bye. Some wish they were the one moving. It could be anything, but I doubt it's anything you did.

ITA. ...

 

[Bublin]

She probably feels like she is losing a sister and doesn't know how to express herself to you without you feeling bad about leaving. She may be experiencing feelings of abondonment if you were that close. Call and talk to her.

 

[prettybyrd]

This sounds like, "I miss you already" syndrome. My mother got this way before I moved out of her house.

Your cousin's behavior probably has nothing to do with you and everything to do with feeling sad and hurt that she's losing a good friend and sister in you. Pay attention to her body language when you see her. Make sure to tell her how excited you are to have her come and visit you as soon as possible, too.

I wouldn't doubt it if she is a little scared/jealous/upset about you moving into this next phase of your life without her, and she may be feeling a little left out. I think you will know how to finesse this, after you talk to her and spend time with her all will be well, I think.