Question to those women who want to get married...

I want to be a wife. I want to form a godly union that can be an example to other of how a marriage should be. I want to help and serve in whatever capacity I can. I want to give my love to someone and devote myself to helping us achieve our goals together and bring God glory. I want to marry a man that values God and education like I do so we can raise super geniuses. I want to be my husband's good thing. I want to cook and clean and be Michelle Obama successful too. I desire to truly walk into a marriage knowing from the beginning that its no longer about me, its about us.

I want to have my man to cuddle with me and give me kisses. I want to have sex, really good sex that makes me tremble when I'm away from him. LOL.
 
GoddessMaker said:
Im not crazy but life isnt always about me having a man that I can be what I was made to be a help meet.

To @Mortons your comment comes off a bit brash but I see your pov but since you dont know me and my pov on this matter.
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I read this 3 times and I don't understand what you're trying to say. :perplexed

And sorry to say, but I pay attention to your posts in here and I have to agree with Mortons.

You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt if that's your reasoning.
 
Mortons said:
I want someone I can make be my sex slave and buy me things. And drag places for company.

Sent from my SPH-M910 using Long Hair Care Forum App
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This about sums it up.

I mean I guess i want to get married, but I'm not really in a rush. I don't want kids

Ready sex would be great.

But I'm still holding out for my duplex idea.
 
MzLady78 Its hard to explain Im more motivated by helping others.I'm not dumb I dont want a loser dude but a man who will do his part which gives way for me to do mine which is my goal.
 
I want what my parents have: children, love, respect, dedication, committment, and companionship
 
I don't like the idea of "wanting to get married" versus "wanting to marry a specific person" . Because wanting to get married is like being in love with the idea of love, instead of wanting to marry because you found a strong loving union. I don't want to just get married for the sake of getting married. I want to marry because I've found my sweetie. With that said

I want to marry my fiance because:

He is my bestfriend

He is as committed to me as I am to him. And he never sends mixed signals. In fact he jokes he will have the oxygen there in case I pass out at the wedding and prop me up so that I say I do:lachen::look: (he knows the issues my parent's faced and knows why I waited to find the right person or not to get married at all).

He adds to my life (instead of take away from it) through his generosity, support, joy, wisdom, and understanding.

He's hysterically funny in a cute dry way.

Even the bad times are never bad because he's by my side.

He will do everything in his power to make things better.

(sounds hokey but truly): He is earth and I am air (he grounds me by providing support, while also encouraging me to reach for my dreams.)

He's intelligent without being show offy and truly wears it well and that's so darn sexy to me (I love a smart man)!

He truly is my number 1 fan.

He would make the earth move for me if he could, and has completed some miracles on my behalf lol!

He is great with children (seeing him interact with other people's kids) and will be a great father.

So as you can see my signature states the quote "I fear no fate, for you are my fate my sweet" from the poem I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. AND that is the TRUTH when it comes to him.

I feel that we are a great match in every way

We have the same views on child rearing, money, and ideas about our "roles" in marriage.

He will do anything to make me happy but he also is not a door mat. HE stands up for what he believes in.

He is an alpha dog but knows how to be loving and affectionate and make his woman feel loved.

Basically I won the lottery in my opinion. So really I want to marry him because who would reject the lottery? "Uhm no thanks, that's okay, I'll pass." No way no how would I pass!

With that said: I don't mind being alone. I don't have to get married. In fact if I ended up the cool quirky old artsy aunt I'd be completely fine with that. But I know how to recognize a good thing, and I won't let it pass me by and that is why I want to get married to my sweetie (in particular). I'd wait a lifetime to find a connection (instead of marrying for the sake of marrying) but once finding the type of relationship I want, I'll dive in head first without hesitation.
 
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I want to be half of an anointed physical manifestation of God's love and glory. I want God's hand to be so undeniably evident in our union that people who once had no desire to know God will be inspired by it.

I want to be a shining beacon for black love and family, for a mutually supportive partnership between man and woman sans jealousy, insecurity, competition, pettiness, dishonesty, immaturity, selfishness, manipulation, neglect, etc. I want to be the encouragement for other saved single sisters that I often yearn for now.

I flat out love black men and have a strong desire to support, encourage, and uplift one of my own.

In the event that I have children, I want to raise conscious, intelligent, upstanding individuals who will become as passionate about contributing to our community as I am. I want to want them to admire and emulate their father.

I want to break the cycle of "daddy issues" and prove--if only to myself--that unconditional acceptance is feasible without anyone settling or harboring resentment. I want to feel confident that I am my dream man's dream come true.

I want, as someone else mentioned, an unlimited supply of hot, buck nasty, spontaneous and guilt-free sex. :lol:

I definitely want companionship and stimulation--spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically...!

I want an outlet for my inner romantic. :love2: I want someone to buy nice cologne for just because. Someone to make lunch for, complete with little love notes with wishes for a happy day. Someone to run hot baths for and give massages to. Someone to learn and know thoroughly, from his deepest fears to his greatest aspirations. Someone to cheer for. Someone to remind that the Christ in him can do all things.

I want a "partner in crime"--someone who will indulge my silly moments and endure my serious ones. I want someone to dream with--to paint imaginings of African safaris and Australian cruises, of business ventures and cross-country moves. I want to build a home with someone who will inspire me to keep chasing (at least some of) those dreams. Someone who, to the extent that he's able, won't let me live beneath my own potential. Someone who will prayerfully allow me to do the same for him.

I want someone to talk to--someone who enjoys talking to me and looks forward to what I have to say. Someone who asks about my day and listens for my response. Someone who, ever so often, allows me to be vulnerable and isn't put off by my faults (trying to be/appear perfect gets old fast). Someone who truly, genuinely wants me and to be with me. Someone with whom I feel so secure that if I lose all my hair and gain 100 pounds, I'll still feel like the most beautiful, most desirable woman in the world.

I want a spiritual leader. I want someone to walk with in all things--someone to struggle with me and fight for me. (I like what someone else mentioned about balance--providing strength during my weak moments and vice versa.) I want a perpetual prayer partner. A tangible representation of Christ to edify me, minister to me, admonish me, console me, and strengthen my faith. When it's all said and done, I want someone to look forward to seeing in paradise.

Great thread, OP! :yep:
 
qchelle said:
Basically this is my motivation to get married :look: I really don't care about kids (if I have them). Steady, good sex and go places with. I really enjoy familiarity (aka I'm boring lol) so I think marriage (i.e. being with the same person) would be great for me. :lol:
Click to expand...

I think this is the reason a majority of women are so pressed to get married. Some people do want someone to "share a life with" of course, but others? it's sex. Even when they try to make it seem deeper than that. And even though women can get sex without being married, I think most women really prefer to have it within the confines of marriage whether they want to admit it or not.
 
GoddessMaker said:
@MzLady78 Its hard to explain Im more motivated by helping others.I'm not dumb I dont want a loser dude but a man who will do his part which gives way for me to do mine which is my goal.
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I get you, I think how you have explained it, leaves you wide open for misinterpretation.

I think your premise and idea works "IF" he is serving you in the same mutual way as you are serving him.

In fact, this is the way it is suppose to work...Someone else is suppose to serve you and put you above their needs and vice versa for him.

I get you.
 
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I wanted to be since I was a little girl. I married very young to my DS father and we were just too young. Now that I am older, wiser, better and in a good place in my life. I am finished with school- I am truly ready to be married and have another child at this point in my life.
 
Well okay some of the reasons I'd like a life partner (not in any order :lachen:) are:

Companionship and cuddling

Sex

Friendship and love

Stability and peace of mind

These are all things I've enjoyed from my most recent LTR and they made me happy. They're possible when you're single, but it's so much more fulfilling to share with someone in mutual love :)
 
I never seriously thought about getting married until I turned 30.

I would like to have a lifelong partner, someone that I can stand by and who will stand by me through all of the ups and downs of life.

And to be perfectly honest, I want the protection and security having a husband brings.

Now when I meet a guy who is interested in dating if I can't see him as husband material then I don't even let myself get involved. 10 years ago I would have just dated him and had a good time until things ran their course. I don't do that anymore. If I can't see myself moving forward with you and having a future then you don't get to waste my time.
 
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-great sex
-kids (dont wanna have kids out of wedlock)
-partner, someone who has my back, someone who will support, love, encourage me, even when i am unlovable
-like MizAvalon said-security and protection
 
luckiestdestiny said:
I don't like the idea of "wanting to get married" versus "wanting to marry a specific person" . Because wanting to get married is like being in love with the idea of love, instead of wanting to marry because you found a strong loving union. I don't want to just get married for the sake of getting married. I want to marry because I've found my sweetie. With that said

I want to marry my fiance because:

He is my bestfriend

He is as committed to me as I am to him. And he never sends mixed signals. In fact he jokes he will have the oxygen there in case I pass out at the wedding and prop me up so that I say I do:lachen::look: (he knows the issues my parent's faced and knows why I waited to find the right person or not to get married at all).

He adds to my life (instead of take away from it) through his generosity, support, joy, wisdom, and understanding.

He's hysterically funny in a cute dry way.

Even the bad times are never bad because he's by my side.

He will do everything in his power to make things better.

(sounds hokey but truly): He is earth and I am air (he grounds me by providing support, while also encouraging me to reach for my dreams.)

He's intelligent without being show offy and truly wears it well and that's so darn sexy to me (I love a smart man)!

He truly is my number 1 fan.

He would make the earth move for me if he could, and has completed some miracles on my behalf lol!

He is great with children (seeing him interact with other people's kids) and will be a great father.

So as you can see my signature states the quote "I fear no fate, for you are my fate my sweet" from the poem I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. AND that is the TRUTH when it comes to him.

I feel that we are a great match in every way

We have the same views on child rearing, money, and ideas about our "roles" in marriage.

He will do anything to make me happy but he also is not a door mat. HE stands up for what he believes in.

He is an alpha dog but knows how to be loving and affectionate and make his woman feel loved.

Basically I won the lottery in my opinion. So really I want to marry him because who would reject the lottery? "Uhm no thanks, that's okay, I'll pass." No way no how would I pass!

With that said: I don't mind being alone. I don't have to get married. In fact if I ended up the cool quirky old artsy aunt I'd be completely fine with that. But I know how to recognize a good thing, and I won't let it pass me by and that is why I want to get married to my sweetie (in particular). I'd wait a lifetime to find a connection (instead of marrying for the sake of marrying) but once finding the type of relationship I want, I'll dive in head first without hesitation.
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I like this post a lot. I've never wanted to be married, its not on my list of life to do's. but if I met someone who I really vibed with I would do it. If I dont I will be single forever. I like being single for the most part, but I would not pass up a truly amazing connection if I came across it. People have trouble understanding this when I tell them, they think I'm anti marriage which is not true. Its just not a priority or desire of mine in and of itself, does not mean I'm closed to it. I'm open to it if and only if its the right person.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
qchelle said:
Basically this is my motivation to get married :look: I really don't care about kids (if I have them). Steady, good sex and go places with. I really enjoy familiarity (aka I'm boring lol) so I think marriage (i.e. being with the same person) would be great for me. :lol:
Click to expand...


Nail on the head!!:lol::lol:

I don't want kids at all so my motivation for marriage is to be with a loving, faithful companion and a steady, preferably endless supply of sex:yep::grin:
 
There are benefits to being married. Every time I go to CVS to pick up a prescription I thank DH's good insurance LOL if God forbid something happens to him or me, we have life insurance. I can have awesome guilt free sex. That's the best part! I carry his name and that brings me much comfort and joy. I could have just Been his SO and be content with that, but I like the power in knowing I can remind him of our marriage covenant and he WILL respect me because I'm his wife, not his girlfriend.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I came up in a very broken home, I watched both of my parents make dumb a$$ choices that have messed up the lives of their offspring in irreparable ways so me wanting to get married is one thing. BUT in my mind me becoming a better person, reaching a place in life mentally,emotionally,financially and spiritually so that I can be the compliment to the life partner I desire is really important first. Once I get all of that out of the way I feel like marriage is the only natural step, not only for my future children but for myself. I crave companionship and intimacy, being a passionate person I crave someone to share my passion and life dreams with. I know being married doesn't guarantee you a husband or your children a father because things and people change but I owe it to myself and my future kids to at least try to give them what I didn't have growing up. Not only the material things but also a healthy and balanced environment with a two parent home.
 
^^^One of the best parts of marriage, if you come from a broken home, is the healing you will feel. To have something you rarely saw but dreamed of is awesome. To give your children the security and pride of having two loving parents feels so good. For me this was the unexpected gift of marriage. After all these years the healing continues for me, as does the pride of being a wife and having children within wedlock.
 
hopeful said:
^^^One of the best parts of marriage, if you come from a broken home, is the healing you will feel. To have something you rarely saw but dreamed of is awesome. To give your children the security and pride of having two loving parents feels so good. For me this was the unexpected gift of marriage. After all these years the healing continues for me, as does the pride of being a wife and having children within wedlock.
Click to expand...

I look forward to this:yep:
 
I want to get married because it has always been a desire of mine. Sometimes I go back and forth when I watch the news, but I want a man to share my ups and downs, journey with Christ and a life. Yes, you can do this with family and friends, but it's not the same. I don't want to get married to any man that's nice and seems okay, but the right man for me. I think some women get pressured to marry a man that looks good on paper and is a nice guy - there has to be more than. Yes, I've dated guys like that, that were nice and treated me well, but something was off. I don't have any regrets about that b/c I know they are perfect for someone else.
 
Basically, I've been thinking a lil back and forth about this, sometimes I don't wanna be married, sometimes I do. But recently, I have the desire to be in the future. Like a previous poster mentioned, I come from a broken home also and don't know what it is like to have both parents under one roof. What hurts me the most is the fact that me and many of my cousins (there are like over 18 of us) are from a broken home. Only one cousin has their father with them, and that saddens me. The desire of my heart is to have in my future the things that I didnt in my past. I want children to take care of and be a mother to and i REFUSE to have them out of wedlock, like what I have witnessed in my own family.
 
prettyfaceANB said:
I want to be a wife. I want to form a godly union that can be an example to other of how a marriage should be. I want to help and serve in whatever capacity I can. I want to give my love to someone and devote myself to helping us achieve our goals together and bring God glory. I want to marry a man that values God and education like I do so we can raise super geniuses. I want to be my husband's good thing. I want to cook and clean and be Michelle Obama successful too. I desire to truly walk into a marriage knowing from the beginning that its no longer about me, its about us.

I want to have my man to cuddle with me and give me kisses. I want to have sex, really good sex that makes me tremble when I'm away from him. LOL.
Click to expand...

I simply love and respect your entire post!

Keep the faith; I have no doubt that God will bless the desires of your heart.

Blessings,
Minx
 
nathansgirl1908 said:
I think this is the reason a majority of women are so pressed to get married. Some people do want someone to "share a life with" of course, but others? it's sex. Even when they try to make it seem deeper than that. And even though women can get sex without being married, I think most women really prefer to have it within the confines of marriage whether they want to admit it or not.
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I don't get these sex statements coming from women. It's just weird to me because it sounds like such a male hormone driven statement. :drunk: Unless it has to do with folks needing to get laid right now.
 
I want to get married, but I only want to marry well (i.e. to the right man that complements me). I want to be someone's wife, companion, and partner. I feel that I have so much to offer that it just doesn't feel right keeping all this goodness to myself. I want a partner who can share in all of the wonderfulness that is me. I want someone who is my equal so I can share in all of the wonderfulness that is him. I want to be a mother, but I don't want to be a single mother. Basically I want a marriage like Eric and Tami Taylor (loving, comitted, sexy, communicative, balanced, and just plain awesome).
 
prettyfaceANB said:
I want to be a wife. I want to form a godly union that can be an example to other of how a marriage should be. I want to help and serve in whatever capacity I can. I want to give my love to someone and devote myself to helping us achieve our goals together and bring God glory. I want to marry a man that values God and education like I do so we can raise super geniuses. I want to be my husband's good thing. I want to cook and clean and be Michelle Obama successful too. I desire to truly walk into a marriage knowing from the beginning that its no longer about me, its about us.

I want to have my man to cuddle with me and give me kisses. I want to have sex, really good sex that makes me tremble when I'm away from him. LOL.
Click to expand...


^^^^This...spot on for me :yep: (already married).
 
-To have a legimate relationship in the eyes of God
-For companionship
-For Financial Stability (hope he has good credit)
-To get rid of my virginity and have SEX, SEX, SEX guilt-free
-To have one child and not become a baby mama (my worst nightmare)
-To fit in with the rest of my family where everyone is married for life.
-To cater to someone I love and who loves me back.
 
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