question for women who have been through divorce or going through

[Evolving78]

how do you prepare for a divorce? how do you take your focus off of your husband? how do you prepare your children?

do/did you start to handle things more on your own?
do/did you save money?
do/did you just run and hope for the best?

how long did you wait to file papers?

my friend and i were talking about this and most women that i know, went through a process of preparing themselves emotionally, financially, mentally, etc...

were you working or a sahm?

 

[Evolving78]

bumping, bumping,

 

[ThickHair]

I will give you two versions because I talked it over with a close friend, she had a child I didn't.

Me
how do you prepare for a divorce? I told him I wanted a divorce plain and simple
how do you take your focus off of your husband? Enrolled in grad school
how do you prepare your children? n\a
do/did you start to handle things more on your own? I always did
do/did you save money? I didn't have too, we were living in my house, he had to roll
do/did you just run and hope for the best? Yes
how long did you wait to file papers? One month later
were you working or a sahm? Working

My friend
how do you prepare for a divorce? She started saving money 18 months in advance, got a new place in a different state, enrolled her daughter in a new school in said state. She scheduled a week long trip for her husband to visit relatives several states away so she could be gone when he returned home.
how do you take your focus off of your husband? She threw herself into her job
how do you prepare your children? She didn't tell her daughter until the week they moved
do/did you start to handle things more on your own? She always did
do/did you save money? She 1st answer
do/did you just run and hope for the best? Yup
how long did you wait to file papers? She waited 18 months
were you working or a sahm? Working

My girl did it smooth, we were all impressed, she didn't tell except her father. She didn't even tell her mother.

 

[Evolving78]

^^^ thanks! more responses!

 

[MizAvalon]

I will give you two versions because I talked it over with a close friend, she had a child I didn't.

Me
how do you prepare for a divorce? I told him I wanted a divorce plain and simple
how do you take your focus off of your husband? Enrolled in grad school
how do you prepare your children? n\a
do/did you start to handle things more on your own? I always did
do/did you save money? I didn't have too, we were living in my house, he had to roll
do/did you just run and hope for the best? Yes
how long did you wait to file papers? One month later
were you working or a sahm? Working

My friend
how do you prepare for a divorce? She started saving money 18 months in advance, got a new place in a different state, enrolled her daughter in a new school in said state. She scheduled a week long trip for her husband to visit relatives several states away so she could be gone when he returned home.
how do you take your focus off of your husband? She threw herself into her job
how do you prepare your children? She didn't tell her daughter until the week they moved
do/did you start to handle things more on your own? She always did
do/did you save money? She 1st answer
do/did you just run and hope for the best? Yup
how long did you wait to file papers? She waited 18 months
were you working or a sahm? Working

My girl did it smooth, we were all impressed, she didn't tell except her father. She didn't even tell her mother.

Wow! Your friend was really prepared and had her plan in place. Was it legal though for her to take their daughter permanently to another state without his knowledge or permission?

 

[guudhair]

how do you prepare for a divorce? just told him
how do you take your focus off of your husband? stayed busy...worked alot
how do you prepare your children? no kids
do/did you start to handle things more on your own? I always did
do/did you save money? yes
do/did you just run and hope for the best? yes
how long did you wait to file papers? Really don't remember because the papers were sent to him several times...I left him immediately though
were you working or a sahm? Working

 

[Evolving78]

bumping

 

[NaturallyBlonde]

how do you prepare for a divorce? He dropped the D word on me. I was more relieved than anything. We had been growing apart and I was really unhappy.

how do you take your focus off of your husband? It was kinda already gone.
how do you prepare your children? I talked to my son a few times (he was only 3) and told him we would be moving. He ddin't really get it until we actually moved. He told me a few times he wanted to go "home". I explained to him that we would be staying where we were for a little while (with my grandparents), and then it would just be me and him. This lasted about a week.

do/did you start to handle things more on your own? I always did.
do/did you save money? Yes
do/did you just run and hope for the best? Kinda. I knew things would turn out fine.

how long did you wait to file papers? He told me he wanted a divorce on Monther's Day 2007 (isnt that nice), I ended up serving him the papers on Memorial Day.

I was working.

 

[Evolving78]

thanks for the responses ladies! i am just trying to figure things out and i am a sahm right now, but i am in school. i am learning not to ask him for help with anything anymore.