afrochique
Well-Known Member
I apologize for the essay, in advance.
Background info:
My friend lives in California and I live in Texas. She is 5.5 months pregnant.
My friend's brother in law committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day. She had never met him.
Fast forward to this past weekend:
Sat:
She texts me in the afternoon telling me her husband is going crazy and was yelling at her and asked her to leave. (She knows only 3 pple in CA including her husband). She went to her BFF's house and called me later that night telling me she was going back home.
I asked her why she was going, did he apologize? and if she and hubby had made peace. Says she has to go home and get clothes, medical documents, and medication.
What had happened: She said hubby came home and found her on the phone laughing during a convo with her BFF and accused her of betraying him and not caring about his feelings during his time of mourning.
I told her to try and talk to him before going there to see what state of mind he was in since it is not ok for her to be driving back and forth at night in her state of pregnancy. I did not hear back from her.
Sun: I try to text her, no response. I logon to Facebook and her BFF has left me a message that my friend cannot be reached via phone. (My friend has no FB, her husband made her delete it when they got married in July). I ask if she is ok, she says that my friend will have to explain things to me herself. My friend then texts me from a no. I did not recognize but identifies herself. She mentions needing a police escort to her house and that her hubby took her phone. By this time I am puzzled and ask her to call me or if I can call her.
I call her and she says that (Back to Sat nite) when she got home, he asked her for her car keys twice and she refused to hand them over so he got mad and asked her to leave-again! She said she was going to get her stuff and leave. He yelled at her to leave immediately. Her phone rang (her sis was calling) and he grabbed the phone when she pulled it out and said to her, "I pay for this phone and I am keeping it. Leave!" She said she left and drove to a truckstop where she called the police and told them that her husband was acting crazy and she needed to get some things from the house.
A police officer escorted her to the house where she went and grabbed some clothes and her meds. She then leaves to her BFF's place.
The question is, her late bro in law's wake is tomorrow(Tue) and the funeral is Wed, should she attend?
Her husband emailed her telling her that he needed her by his side. Her mother-in-law does not like her and she told me she doesn't want to go because the family keeps bickering and blaming each other for the death. Her husband also called her mother Saturday and told her that he was sorry for getting angry and yelling at her, but is yet to apologize to his wife for any of his actions.
Torn: I feel that she should go out of respect for the family but not because he needs her.
At the same time, I am thinking that she shouldn't go because he is selfish, knowing well that she is expecting his children (twins), and he asked her to leave knowing that she doesn't have family over there(parents and siblings in TX). To add on to that, her BFF lives 1.5 hrs away!!
I would like to hear from you ladies so that I can be able to give the best advice. Thank you all in advance.
Background info:
My friend lives in California and I live in Texas. She is 5.5 months pregnant.
My friend's brother in law committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day. She had never met him.
Fast forward to this past weekend:
Sat:
She texts me in the afternoon telling me her husband is going crazy and was yelling at her and asked her to leave. (She knows only 3 pple in CA including her husband). She went to her BFF's house and called me later that night telling me she was going back home.
I asked her why she was going, did he apologize? and if she and hubby had made peace. Says she has to go home and get clothes, medical documents, and medication.
What had happened: She said hubby came home and found her on the phone laughing during a convo with her BFF and accused her of betraying him and not caring about his feelings during his time of mourning.
I told her to try and talk to him before going there to see what state of mind he was in since it is not ok for her to be driving back and forth at night in her state of pregnancy. I did not hear back from her.
Sun: I try to text her, no response. I logon to Facebook and her BFF has left me a message that my friend cannot be reached via phone. (My friend has no FB, her husband made her delete it when they got married in July). I ask if she is ok, she says that my friend will have to explain things to me herself. My friend then texts me from a no. I did not recognize but identifies herself. She mentions needing a police escort to her house and that her hubby took her phone. By this time I am puzzled and ask her to call me or if I can call her.
I call her and she says that (Back to Sat nite) when she got home, he asked her for her car keys twice and she refused to hand them over so he got mad and asked her to leave-again! She said she was going to get her stuff and leave. He yelled at her to leave immediately. Her phone rang (her sis was calling) and he grabbed the phone when she pulled it out and said to her, "I pay for this phone and I am keeping it. Leave!" She said she left and drove to a truckstop where she called the police and told them that her husband was acting crazy and she needed to get some things from the house.
A police officer escorted her to the house where she went and grabbed some clothes and her meds. She then leaves to her BFF's place.
The question is, her late bro in law's wake is tomorrow(Tue) and the funeral is Wed, should she attend?
Her husband emailed her telling her that he needed her by his side. Her mother-in-law does not like her and she told me she doesn't want to go because the family keeps bickering and blaming each other for the death. Her husband also called her mother Saturday and told her that he was sorry for getting angry and yelling at her, but is yet to apologize to his wife for any of his actions.
Torn: I feel that she should go out of respect for the family but not because he needs her.
At the same time, I am thinking that she shouldn't go because he is selfish, knowing well that she is expecting his children (twins), and he asked her to leave knowing that she doesn't have family over there(parents and siblings in TX). To add on to that, her BFF lives 1.5 hrs away!!
I would like to hear from you ladies so that I can be able to give the best advice. Thank you all in advance.
I would probably go to the house and get my things while everyone is at the funeral. If it was my friend and she really wanted to go, I wouldn't let her go alone. If she wants to forgive her husband and try to work things out with him, then she should go to the funeral. I think if she is just going out of courtesy to him but isn't sure whether she wants to stay with him or not, just being there will easily give the impression that she does want to work things out.
