Physically attracted to him, but not mentally...

[Lindy]

I have a friend at work who recently started dating a guy that she met on the internet. She's in her mid 40's and divorced.

She's been out with him a few times, and says that she feels chemistry with him physically, but mentally... not so much. He's about 10 years older than her; He has money and a fabulous house, but his personality is truly lacking... he talks about himself all the time, and does not really seem very interested in knowing that much about her (yet he talks about how they will go on vacations together, etc)... She ended up at his house after one of their dinner dates, and they fooled around some, so she knows that they're physically compatible. She told me that she's thinking about continuing to see him, mainly for someone to go out with to nice places, and probably (eventually) for sex...

I'm recently back on the dating scene myself (after MANY years of being out of it), so her and I talk about this stuff all the time. She says that this is the way it is out here now... I don't know; I just can't really imagine having an intimate relationship with someone I didn't enjoy being with OUTSIDE of the bedroom, ya know? But on the other hand, certain itches do need to be scratched...

Any thoughts??

 

[Nefertiti0906]

I believe it is possible

But eventually you get sick of the person

 

[Syrah]

I believe it is possible

But eventually you get sick of the person

That's why I had to let go of my hoop dreams. I was in LOVE with some Kevin Garnett 'til I found out homeboy just barely graduated high school, went straight to the pros from high school NOT because he didn't want to go to college but because after 3 attempts, he couldn't meet the NCAA minimum SAT requirement (900) and had a chance to meet the brother.

What are we going to talk about after the sex is over?!??!

Plus, truth be told - if you're trying to get me in the sack - stimulate my mind. My body will be right behind it. But eventually physical stimulation without any thought behind it is going to get old.

Ain't nothing sexier than a man who can turn you on WITHOUT touching you.

 

[AmilLion]

He sounds like "jump" material.

 

[cocoberry10]

I haven’t really had this problem. Luckily most of the guys I’ve been physically attracted to have had wonderful personalities to back it up. A few have been a little arrogant, but only one or two. However, I’m struggling with the opposite situation (well not really). There’s this guy that I’m not attracted to at all physically or personality wise, but he’s nice, so I feel compelled to give him a chance. And he believes that we have this great chemistry (and I don’t feel that). But luckily, I’m dating a couple of people right now, so no one is my “boyfriend” yet. And of course, there’s no physical activity going on and I’m going to keep it that way!

 

[msroddy]

Plus, truth be told - if you're trying to get me in the sack - stimulate my mind. My body will be right behind it. But eventually physical stimulation without any thought behind it is going to get old.

Ain't nothing sexier than a man who can turn you on WITHOUT touching you.

AMEN!!!!

Tried it the other way, doesn't work for long!

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

AMEN!!!!

Tried it the other way, doesn't work for long!

Ditto! I prefer a man that can provide stimulating conversation and is spiritual, otherwise he would bore me to tears.

 

[caribeandiva]

It's not gonna last long. Physical attratction never does without mental stimulation. Long after the sex ends she'll need someone to talk to and that won't be him. She's settling for him and that's a big waste of both of their time.

 

[Syrah]

AMEN!!!!

Tried it the other way, doesn't work for long!

Girl please - my friends and I met these two guys that had their own furniture businesses. So we all went out on a group date - dinner and some live music. Afterwards they took us to their warehouse/workshop where they build the stuff.

They were all INTO their "raw wood" and the different types and textures and how it needs to have a certain porosity before they can carve it and blah blah blah... At one point dude was trying to show me the different ways you can smooth a piece of wood - I'm not even INTO wood, but I was more than ready to start playing with some "other" wood.

...now I know how Aidan hooked Carrie. Men and wood....good lord!!!

 

[Farida]

If you're only looking for sex then it's no problem. Make sure you are doing the right thing and not leading the other person on. I discourage it.

If you want to keep him around, you'll get tired of him, you'll have frustrating convos etc.