People who don't want to do online dating - why?

H

Harina

Well-Known Member
People who are scared to do online dating or don't want to - why?

Is it the stigma? Creepy men? What? What would make you feel more at ease with it?

I've been thinking about joining a website or like an app like tinder or something but something is holding me back. I can't pinpoint what exactly. Seems like a lot of people are doing it though.
 
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My sister's experience turned me off. She has met so many creepy men on dating sites. Their pictures are RARELY who they are TODAY.

She met an old man that brought his "grandbaby" to her house. ..not really. It was really his child. :help3:

She met a Texas oil tycoon. :greedy: ...not really. He lied. He was from Texas but he was broke. :spike:

She met Santa Claus.:santa: ...not really. But he was a big fat white man with rosy cheeks that had a twinkle in his eyes and laughed with a hearty "Ho, Ho, Ho". :elf: :holiday:

...and there's more. It has really turned me off of online dating. I've tried it, but I just can't take it seriously. :barf:
 
^think its a lot different for women in their 20s. its weird how online dating used to be something you do when you are older because the dating landscape is different then, and now its dominated by 20somethings who could just as easily meet people in bars, parties, and other young adult social activities.

tinder is terrible though. dont start there.
 
I agree. I think 20 somethings will be more successful with it. Cause Santa Claus took the cake. He even had a big fat belly, that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.:lol:

There's like a BILLION older people on there. But they be lying.:look:

bunnycolvin said:
^think its a lot different for women in their 20s. its weird how online dating used to be something you do when you are older because the dating landscape is different then, and now its dominated by 20somethings who could just as easily meet people in bars, parties, and other young adult social activities.

tinder is terrible though. dont start there.
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I was doing online dating years before it was in fashion, which is why it has turned me completely off.

Lies, not being serious, wasting my time with their double lives... Because of them I became a detective and trust no one until it is earned.

It isn't for everyone.
 
bunnycolvin said:
^think its a lot different for women in their 20s. its weird how online dating used to be something you do when you are older because the dating landscape is different then, and now its dominated by 20somethings who could just as easily meet people in bars, parties, and other young adult social activities.

tinder is terrible though. dont start there.
Click to expand...

I agree with that. My friend was speaking to me and mentioned she was 'playing Tinder'. I think that's the approach people aren't serious on there, the format means decisions are made almost solely on looks (more so than other sites in my opinion) and most go on there to hook up.
 
Harina said:
What do these people expect you to do with the likes? Does that mean something or are they expecting YOU to message first or is it just they like how you look? @bunnycolvin
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i dont know. i think its more you "like" someone who looks half decent, but then when you make a match, you go back for a second opinion and decide youre actually not that interested. i think because of this, the way tinder is set up and functions is counterproductive. also, i never bothered to put anything on the "profile" part because it was superfluous as hell and i sure never read anybody's profile section. it was just supremely inefficient to me and there were none of the tools in place to help me figure out if i wanted to meet any of those people, so i got rid of it.

the only people i know who have had success with it is because they find friends of friends, or people they recognise and were interested in from other dating sites who never messaged them there. but for me, like 99% of the people on there would be out of my 6 degrees of separation, so it was useless.
 
bunnycolvin said:
i dont know. i think its more you "like" someone who looks half decent, but then when you make a match, you go back for a second opinion and decide youre actually not that interested. i think because of this, the way tinder is set up and functions is counterproductive. also, i never bothered to put anything on the "profile" part because it was superfluous as hell and i sure never read anybody's profile section. it was just supremely inefficient to me and there were none of the tools in place to help me figure out if i wanted to meet any of those people, so i got rid of it.

the only people i know who have had success with it is because they find friends of friends, or people they recognise and were interested in from other dating sites who never messaged them there. but for me, like 99% of the people on there would be out of my 6 degrees of separation, so it was useless.
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Let me go do my hair and wear a cute top and hang out at the coffee shop because ain't nobody got time for that.
 
bunnycolvin said:
^think its a lot different for women in their 20s. its weird how online dating used to be something you do when you are older because the dating landscape is different then, and now its dominated by 20somethings who could just as easily meet people in bars, parties, and other young adult social activities.

tinder is terrible though. dont start there.
Click to expand...

londontresses said:
I agree with that. My friend was speaking to me and mentioned she was 'playing Tinder'. I think that's the approach people aren't serious on there, the format means decisions are made almost solely on looks (more so than other sites in my opinion) and most go on there to hook up.
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Another anti-tinder person here. One of my cohorts (mid 20's) uses it and it's the source of lots of her man drama. Though, to be honest, she IS rather superficial when it comes to how someone looks. So in a sense the app suits her initial dating style, but it's not good for quality relationships. She meets cute guys, then complains about how they act.

ThickHair said:
It is hit or miss, just the same as IRL.
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I agree.
 
Angelicus said:
Lies, not being serious, wasting my time with their double lives... Because of them I became a detective and trust no one until it is earned.

It isn't for everyone.
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This is soo true :grin::ohwell:

I've been on Tinder for a little over a month now.. it's pretty ridiculous. I've had 3 dates.. One was with an old fart who hated living in the bay area an planned on leaving even with his two young kids living here.. One was shorter then I was told.. the other I had a second date with, then he popped up with a different account, name and picture a day later.. My ex is also one there looking for a booty call smh.. he hid his face but I can tell it's him. He denies it.. boy please.
 
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Re: People who are scared to do online dating or don't want to - why?

I have an account with OKCupid but its hidden for right now. I have a few friends that have an account there as well but some friends don't see the point in me doing so.

BTW the real reason I posted is to say how cuuuuuttteee your siggy is OP, I love it ^_^
Where did you get the artwork from or is it your own artwork?
 
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I don't want to date someone who I can't get references for. If we have a few mutual friends, then I can get a feel for the guy and his history from friends, but if he's a stranger, I have to learn through experience whether he's worth dating or not.
 
I have a friend who received 3 different types of STD's from 3 different men from OKCupid. Proceed at your own risk. *shrugs*
 
Re: People who are scared to do online dating or don't want to - why?

Mocha126 said:
I have an account with OKCupid but its hidden for right now. I have a few friends that have an account there as well but some friends don't see the point in me doing so.

BTW the real reason I posted is to say how cuuuuuttteee your siggy is OP, I love it ^_^
Where did you get the artwork from or is it your own artwork?
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Isn't it adorable? I save random stuff to my desktop from time to time usually through tumblr browsing so I'm not sure exactly where it's from. You can maybe do one of those reverse picture searches...
 
sounbeweavable said:
I don't want to date someone who I can't get references for. If we have a few mutual friends, then I can get a feel for the guy and his history from friends, but if he's a stranger, I have to learn through experience whether he's worth dating or not.
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As I've aged and been around more and more people who are married with kids, I noticed they generally hang out with other married people. I used to get suggestions for men all the time when I was in my 20's, but that's basically dried up now.

Also, I met my ex-husband through mutual friends and they all sang his praises. People often show a very different side once they think they have you locked down. I told a few of our mutual friends the things that happened in our house and they were agog. I can understand why some of them don't believe me because they ALL thought he was a great guy. I did too until I married him.
 
I believe I'm a good person so why shouldn't there be a good man online as well.?? I can tell you stories of people who did not meet online and it ended in disaster. You have to be cautious off and on line!!
 
Thought I didn't meet FH online, I mostly had good experiences from online dating. 1 or 2 weirdos but no different than if I would have met them through some other method. I have never understood people who are so against it, especially in this day and age. I agree that it's probably best suited for younger people now unless you are on a specific site targeting your age group or particular interest.
 
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MizAvalon said:
Thought I didn't meet FH online, I mostly had good experiences from online dating. 1 or 2 weirdos but no different than if I would have met them through some other method. I have never understood people who are so against it, especially in this day and age. I agree that it's probably best suited for younger people now unless you are on a specific site targeting your age group or particular interest.
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the only bad experiences i had with online dating was great first dates with guys i wanted to continue dating who rejected me :sad: other than that even though my last relationship ended badly, i one hundred percent do not regret the 2 bfs i met through online dating. i have had generally an extremely positive experience. i dont understand the need to blame a bad dating history on online dating. if you arent any good at dating irl, meeting men online first isnt a magical cure for that :perplexed
 
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