People are really starting to annoy me!

[tiffers]

Do any of you have friends/family members who ask for hair help, and then they don't follow your advise? This has been happening soooo much to me lately. A few instances....

1) One of dh's female friends called him and asked him to ask me for help. She went to a salon and they said they were gonna do a ''strengthening treatment'' on her. They put something on her hair and put her under the dryer and her hair got hard like a helmet. Then they rinsed the stuff out and styled it, but her hair was super hard and she lost a lot of hair from them raking through it with a rattail comb. Her hair was a HAM, but they still charged her and told her to come back another day so they could fix it

I told her they most likely used Aphogee on her head, and they were idiots for not using a moisturizing dc after the Aphogee. I also told her not to go back because they OBVIOUSLY don't know what they're doing, and she'll probably come out of there bald. I told her what conditioners and tools to get from CVS, and she said she didn't have any money. I felt horrible for her, so I offered to give her some of my conditioners cause I have some extra laying around the house. She came up with all kinds of excuses not to come over, so I was like whatever. I saw her a few days later and her hair was so broken off and crispy. I can't even describe how bad it was. Turned out her dumb a** went BACK to that salon and they messed up her head even more, and charged her AGAIN!! I didn't even say ''I told you so'', my hair blowin in the wind was enough

2) My SIL came to me complaining of bad breakage. **FYI her mom is like 1/4 indian and her dad is 1/2 white, so she has ''good hair''** A year ago her hair was about MBL, now it's probably barely grazing APL. She has highlights, so I told her that the highlights are most likely causing the breakage because they dry your hair out. I told her to start deep conditioning once to twice a week to get her moisture levels up. She said she didn't have the time, so I told her to co wash and explained how to do it. She started looking a little irritated and cut me off in mid-sentence saying ''MY hair's not like yours''.... In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her

3) A friend called me wanting to know what I put in my hair when I flatironed it. I told her Fantasia IC serum. She asked ''Is that what got your hair to grow?'' I told her no, that no one product can make your hair to grow, it takes patience and a lot of care. She asked what grease I used and I told her I didn't use grease, I used moisturizer. I told her my hair grew from washing it a few times a week and keeping moisturized. She asked how many times I washed and what I used. When I got into the specifics, I could tell she had lost interest. I could just imagine the glazed over look in her eyes. When she discovered there's no magic potion for hair growth, she lost interest. After a few minutes, she came up with some lame excuse to get off the phone. I know she didn't heara word I said

What the hell is the point of asking for help if you're not gonna listen? Why waste my time? Ugh!

 

[Inches411]

I feel your pain. I would have been upfront though and said well why did you ask me for help if you are not going to listen and walked away. That is rude for them to do.even if they lost interest they should at least hear you out since they did ask you. I guess your right when they realize thats there is no special trick and it just takes time and patience they are out the door. Oh well you tried dont feel bad. And if they ask you again for help tell them sorry you didnt want to listen before and i dont want to waste my time again.

 

[TaraDyan]

Seeeee ... this is exactly why I don't offer up detailed explanations about my hair regimen. People really don't wanna know; they just want you to point them to the magic bullet that will make their hair grow overnight.

 

[Lucie]

Do any of you have friends/family members who ask for hair help, and then they don't follow your advise? This has been happening soooo much to me lately. A few instances....

1) One of dh's female friends called him and asked him to ask me for help. She went to a salon and they said they were gonna do a ''strengthening treatment'' on her. They put something on her hair and put her under the dryer and her hair got hard like a helmet. Then they rinsed the stuff out and styled it, but her hair was super hard and she lost a lot of hair from them raking through it with a rattail comb. Her hair was a HAM, but they still charged her and told her to come back another day so they could fix it

I told her they most likely used Aphogee on her head, and they were idiots for not using a moisturizing dc after the Aphogee. I also told her not to go back because they OBVIOUSLY don't know what they're doing, and she'll probably come out of there bald. I told her what conditioners and tools to get from CVS, and she said she didn't have any money. I felt horrible for her, so I offered to give her some of my conditioners cause I have some extra laying around the house. She came up with all kinds of excuses not to come over, so I was like whatever. I saw her a few days later and her hair was so broken off and crispy. I can't even describe how bad it was. Turned out her dumb a** went BACK to that salon and they messed up her head even more, and charged her AGAIN!! I didn't even say ''I told you so'', my hair blowin in the wind was enough

2) My SIL came to me complaining of bad breakage. **FYI her mom is like 1/4 indian and her dad is 1/2 white, so she has ''good hair''** A year ago her hair was about MBL, now it's probably barely grazing APL. She has highlights, so I told her that the highlights are most likely causing the breakage because they dry your hair out. I told her to start deep conditioning once to twice a week to get her moisture levels up. She said she didn't have the time, so I told her to co wash and explained how to do it. She started looking a little irritated and cut me off in mid-sentence saying ''MY hair's not like yours''.... In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her

3) A friend called me wanting to know what I put in my hair when I flatironed it. I told her Fantasia IC serum. She asked ''Is that what got your hair to grow?'' I told her no, that no one product can make your hair to grow, it takes patience and a lot of care. She asked what grease I used and I told her I didn't use grease, I used moisturizer. I told her my hair grew from washing it a few times a week and keeping moisturized. She asked how many times I washed and what I used. When I got into the specifics, I could tell she had lost interest. I could just imagine the glazed over look in her eyes. When she discovered there's no magic potion for hair growth, she lost interest. After a few minutes, she came up with some lame excuse to get off the phone. I know she didn't heara word I said

What the hell is the point of asking for help if you're not gonna listen? Why waste my time? Ugh!

For the same reason when my overweight friend asked me how she could get in shape. I told her to:

• Drink water (she hates water)
• Exercise (she doesn't have the time but knows all the ins-and-outs of FOL3)
• Increase her fruit and vegetable intake (the fruits she eat are too sweet and the vegetables are not fresh enough)
• Eat fried foods very infrequently (they taste better than healthy food)

All I could do was

People don't realize that getting on the right track takes work and sacrifice. Plus there is a reason why healthy hair doesn't happen with one product. It's a process. Sometimes a woman has to scrap all of her ideas on how to take care of her hair with new ones. You have to learn what your hair likes and dislikes and from there you will be able to maintain thickness and longer length.

I am happy DH went off on her.

 

[SunnyDelight]

OMG - Tiffers I feel you on this one. Makes you not want to help people. I have a sister, mother, neices and countless girlfriends who do the exact same thing.

Come at me with ". . . what should I use on my hair for this" or "what can I use for that". I tell them heffers - even GIVE them my products and then they don't use it. It is sickening and annoying - especially since when we don't try to help we are considered selfish and keeping all the goods/answers about hair to ourselves.

I sometimes think people want to have beautiful hair without doing a thing to get it.

 

[HoneyDew]

I sometimes think people want to have beautiful hair without doing a thing to get it.

You are so right!

I just don't help anymore.

I am not some hair pro, but I got the info! I can hook someone up with it if they want!

My mom is one. She always wants this info or that, but she listens to stylists too much. Right now they have relaxed hair hair so bone straight! I could tell the last time I saw her.

But, my mom said to me, "You must like the clipped up hair look."

I told her I was just protecting my hair since I was just chillin out, no need to have my hair all blowing all over the place!

I gave her some sulfate free shampoo and nice conditioner by ABBA because she wanted something to stimulate her scalp. She took it to the salon and they told her it was not for her hair type. She believed them.

I was like, gimmie my shampoo and conditioner back.

Love my mom, but I don't even go there anymore.

 

[SpyCats]

I feel your frustration and I honestly don't bother giving advice anymore. I used to get the same "glazed over" look that you speak about.

 

[*closer*2*my*dreams*]

I can't even lie... I did it to my best friend about a week before I joined the site. I thought she was crazy not to wash her hair with shampoo. I thought she was crazy to add s-curl moisturizer to her hair where she clearly didn't have a s-curl. Everything she told me, I quickly told her she was crazy. But once I got home and thought about it, I realized that it would'nt hurt to try. My hair has been through EVERYTHING under the sun, so I'm sure I could benefit by implementing some healthy options and techniques. I started out really light, then got into full swing after two weeks!! Now I'm contemplating going natural and I LOVE when people ask me what I do to my hair. My sorority sisters of course think I'm crazy, but wait until they see my luscious locks after the summer!!!

 

[It~Can~Grow]

In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her.

Sorry, I dont have a hair example, but I try to find the humor in everything and that gave me a big ole' laugh.

I can only imagine that she gave you the look of confusion erplexed as if to say, " how could you confuse MY 'special' hair needs with 'your' needs .

Girl, it's the same thing with school. I had a professor years ago give me some short and sweet but valuable advice...he said, "people really don't care about the history of struggle - they only want to benefit from it's positive conclusion".

That said, if you think they truly want to know, I'd start with "it's a very detailed explanation with no one answer....do you want me to continue?"

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Do any of you have friends/family members who ask for hair help, and then they don't follow your advise? This has been happening soooo much to me lately. A few instances....

1) One of dh's female friends called him and asked him to ask me for help. She went to a salon and they said they were gonna do a ''strengthening treatment'' on her. They put something on her hair and put her under the dryer and her hair got hard like a helmet. Then they rinsed the stuff out and styled it, but her hair was super hard and she lost a lot of hair from them raking through it with a rattail comb. Her hair was a HAM, but they still charged her and told her to come back another day so they could fix it

I told her they most likely used Aphogee on her head, and they were idiots for not using a moisturizing dc after the Aphogee. I also told her not to go back because they OBVIOUSLY don't know what they're doing, and she'll probably come out of there bald. I told her what conditioners and tools to get from CVS, and she said she didn't have any money. I felt horrible for her, so I offered to give her some of my conditioners cause I have some extra laying around the house. She came up with all kinds of excuses not to come over, so I was like whatever. I saw her a few days later and her hair was so broken off and crispy. I can't even describe how bad it was. Turned out her dumb a** went BACK to that salon and they messed up her head even more, and charged her AGAIN!! I didn't even say ''I told you so'', my hair blowin in the wind was enough

2) My SIL came to me complaining of bad breakage. **FYI her mom is like 1/4 indian and her dad is 1/2 white, so she has ''good hair''** A year ago her hair was about MBL, now it's probably barely grazing APL. She has highlights, so I told her that the highlights are most likely causing the breakage because they dry your hair out. I told her to start deep conditioning once to twice a week to get her moisture levels up. She said she didn't have the time, so I told her to co wash and explained how to do it. She started looking a little irritated and cut me off in mid-sentence saying ''MY hair's not like yours''.... In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her

3) A friend called me wanting to know what I put in my hair when I flatironed it. I told her Fantasia IC serum. She asked ''Is that what got your hair to grow?'' I told her no, that no one product can make your hair to grow, it takes patience and a lot of care. She asked what grease I used and I told her I didn't use grease, I used moisturizer. I told her my hair grew from washing it a few times a week and keeping moisturized. She asked how many times I washed and what I used. When I got into the specifics, I could tell she had lost interest. I could just imagine the glazed over look in her eyes. When she discovered there's no magic potion for hair growth, she lost interest. After a few minutes, she came up with some lame excuse to get off the phone. I know she didn't heara word I said

What the hell is the point of asking for help if you're not gonna listen? Why waste my time? Ugh!

I know girl... I have stopped giving advice to people who's hair is HORRIBLE....... They beg me for help - then they wear braids for 6 months (yup you read right) or they have that horrible pony tail - dried out - and nasty looking..........

I am sure someone will be asking me questions on Sunday at church.......... Every time I tell someone "you should condition for an hour" they FREAK OUT....
So - I am done telling people anything......

 

[hot_pepper96]

Seeeee ... this is exactly why I don't offer up detailed explanations about my hair regimen. People really don't wanna know; they just want you to point them to the magic bullet that will make their hair grow overnight.

Totally off the subject but your hair grew back so fast and it's so shiny!

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Seeeee ... this is exactly why I don't offer up detailed explanations about my hair regimen. People really don't wanna know; they just want you to point them to the magic bullet that will make their hair grow overnight.

There it is mama.........That sad thing is people have WATCHED my hair - and they still think it is a magic bullet........erplexed

 

[Lucky's Mom]

You are so right!

I just don't help anymore.

I am not some hair pro, but I got the info! I can hook someone up with it if they want!

My mom is one. She always wants this info or that, but she listens to stylists too much. Right now they have relaxed hair hair so bone straight! I could tell the last time I saw her.

But, my mom said to me, "You must like the clipped up hair look."

I told her I was just protecting my hair since I was just chillin out, no need to have my hair all blowing all over the place!

I gave her some sulfate free shampoo and nice conditioner by ABBA because she wanted something to stimulate her scalp. She took it to the salon and they told her it was not for her hair type. She believed them.

I was like, gimmie my shampoo and conditioner back.

Love my mom, but I don't even go there anymore.

Boy - you can tell I can relate, huh????

I bought my mom some hair cream and condish from www.myhoneychild.com - and the stuff is all natural - in other words - you have to use it. A year later at mom's - I saw it in the refridge. that Stuff cost me 26 bucks!
I never did that again......
She finally started listening when her hair started thinning out. She buys her own hairobics. I make a few thigns for her - but that is the extent of it.

 

[cmw45]

Do any of you have friends/family members who ask for hair help, and then they don't follow your advise? This has been happening soooo much to me lately. A few instances....

1) One of dh's female friends called him and asked him to ask me for help. She went to a salon and they said they were gonna do a ''strengthening treatment'' on her. They put something on her hair and put her under the dryer and her hair got hard like a helmet. Then they rinsed the stuff out and styled it, but her hair was super hard and she lost a lot of hair from them raking through it with a rattail comb. Her hair was a HAM, but they still charged her and told her to come back another day so they could fix it

I told her they most likely used Aphogee on her head, and they were idiots for not using a moisturizing dc after the Aphogee. I also told her not to go back because they OBVIOUSLY don't know what they're doing, and she'll probably come out of there bald. I told her what conditioners and tools to get from CVS, and she said she didn't have any money. I felt horrible for her, so I offered to give her some of my conditioners cause I have some extra laying around the house. She came up with all kinds of excuses not to come over, so I was like whatever. I saw her a few days later and her hair was so broken off and crispy. I can't even describe how bad it was. Turned out her dumb a** went BACK to that salon and they messed up her head even more, and charged her AGAIN!! I didn't even say ''I told you so'', my hair blowin in the wind was enough

2) My SIL came to me complaining of bad breakage. **FYI her mom is like 1/4 indian and her dad is 1/2 white, so she has ''good hair''** A year ago her hair was about MBL, now it's probably barely grazing APL. She has highlights, so I told her that the highlights are most likely causing the breakage because they dry your hair out. I told her to start deep conditioning once to twice a week to get her moisture levels up. She said she didn't have the time, so I told her to co wash and explained how to do it. She started looking a little irritated and cut me off in mid-sentence saying ''MY hair's not like yours''.... In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her

3) A friend called me wanting to know what I put in my hair when I flatironed it. I told her Fantasia IC serum. She asked ''Is that what got your hair to grow?'' I told her no, that no one product can make your hair to grow, it takes patience and a lot of care. She asked what grease I used and I told her I didn't use grease, I used moisturizer. I told her my hair grew from washing it a few times a week and keeping moisturized. She asked how many times I washed and what I used. When I got into the specifics, I could tell she had lost interest. I could just imagine the glazed over look in her eyes. When she discovered there's no magic potion for hair growth, she lost interest. After a few minutes, she came up with some lame excuse to get off the phone. I know she didn't heara word I said

What the hell is the point of asking for help if you're not gonna listen? Why waste my time? Ugh!

OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But one of my sorors did follow my adivice and is having a lot of fun getting her hair to turn around! She's really excited...almost more excited then me.

 

[Platinum]

Wow! About 10 years ago, my mom asked my aunt to color her hair "Auburn" (her favorite color for as long as I can remember). Aunt did it but the color didn't take well. So, my Aunt suggested that they try again. They went to the store and bought another color kit (Dark and Lovely). I told my mom she should wait a few weeks but Aunt said it was okay "I color my hair like that all the time". So, I look at Aunt, thinking "yeah, that's why your a** looks like Scatman, you bald headed *****". Mom would't listen to me and they added the color.

About a week later, Aunt tells my Mom that she could use a relaxer. Mom buys the relaxer, I'm begging my mom NOT to do it now. PLEASE WAIT A FEW WEEKS! Scatman (Aunt) says, "I do it all the time". Mom didn't listen to me and her hair came out in clumps! She lost her APL length and ended up "Fantasia" short. To this day, Mom doesn't realize what made her hair break off and she still let Aunt do her hair sometimes. I'm suprised mom still has hair now. (I have't seen her get past shoulder length since this).

*BTW, Aunt isn't a licensed stylist*

 

[cmw45]

There it is mama.........That sad thing is people have WATCHED my hair - and they still think it is a magic bullet........erplexed

Umkay, thank you! I have showed people pictures of women on LHCF, gave one of them my password so they could check it out themselves...and one of my linesisters said, "how come some covered her face when her hair was short?" I was like, "I don't know. Maybe she was embarassed to have her hair looking like that. Maybe she was protecting her privacy." *shrugged sholders* She just kept looking at me kinda skeptical. I've now decided I'll do what I do, and if people ask, I will tell em, but I refuse to put more effor in than you are willing to put in yourself.

 

[halee_J]

Do any of you have friends/family members who ask for hair help, and then they don't follow your advise? This has been happening soooo much to me lately. A few instances....



2) My SIL came to me complaining of bad breakage. **FYI her mom is like 1/4 indian and her dad is 1/2 white, so she has ''good hair''** A year ago her hair was about MBL, now it's probably barely grazing APL. She has highlights, so I told her that the highlights are most likely causing the breakage because they dry your hair out. I told her to start deep conditioning once to twice a week to get her moisture levels up. She said she didn't have the time, so I told her to co wash and explained how to do it. She started looking a little irritated and cut me off in mid-sentence saying ''MY hair's not like yours''.... In other words ''I have good hair, so I don't have to do all that extra stuff to my hair, nappy head!'' Dh went off on her and she left. I saw her yesterday and her hair's even shorter than it was the last time I saw her



What the hell is the point of asking for help if you're not gonna listen? Why waste my time? Ugh!

NO. SHE .DID. NOT. GO .THERE. I would have put her in her place. IMO IF she knew her hair was 'not like yours' why was she asking for advice in the first place?????

This has happened to me too many times. ppl think that there is one magic vitamin, shampoo, scalp oil or some mess that will grow your hair down to your butt.

Yes some growth aids help but for the most part, healthy with length hair takes quality products (not necesscarily expensive), TLC and pateince. Deal with it.

Good night.

 

[treybaby2005]

When I tried to explain to my sis how I grew my hair i got a couple of the grazed eyes you guys are talking about,then she says to me,"I think you're hair obscessed".erplexed So now I just keep things to myself.

 

[Platinum]

When I tried to explain to my sis how I grew my hair i got a couple of the grazed eyes you guys are talking about,then she says to me,"I think you're hair obscessed".erplexed So now I just keep things to myself.

My DH just said he thinks I'm hair obsessed too.I told him "I wonder if you're going to laugh at me when you see a MAJOR difference in my hair by the end of the year".

 

[Coco_Sips781]

Wow! About 10 years ago, my mom asked my aunt to color her hair "Auburn" (her favorite color for as long as I can remember). Aunt did it but the color didn't take well. So, my Aunt suggested that they try again. They went to the store and bought another color kit (Dark and Lovely). I told my mom she should wait a few weeks but Aunt said it was okay "I color my hair like that all the time". So, I look at Aunt, thinking "yeah, that's why your a** looks like Scatman, you bald headed *****". Mom would't listen to me and they added the color.

About a week later, Aunt tells my Mom that she could use a relaxer. Mom buys the relaxer, I'm begging my mom NOT to do it now. PLEASE WAIT A FEW WEEKS! Scatman (Aunt) says, "I do it all the time". Mom didn't listen to me and her hair came out in clumps! She lost her APL length and ended up "Fantasia" short. To this day, Mom doesn't realize what made her hair break off and she still let Aunt do her hair sometimes. I'm suprised mom still has hair now. (I have't seen her get past shoulder length since this).

*BTW, Aunt isn't a licensed stylist*

 

[Jassy28]

OMG, I really can't believe your SIL! Thats what she gets for being so ignorant. The next time she might be bald.

 

[Tamrin]

Tiffers, look don't waist your time. I used to offer advice. Now I just let people do what they do. I have twists now so as far as they are concerned Im bald.. Girl just keep doing what you are doing for your hair. They will figure it out eventually.

 

[Christa438]

OMG, I really can't believe your SIL! Thats what she gets for being so ignorant. The next time she might be bald.

Agreed.
Tiffers, I know how you feel. I had someone who was asking advice and wasn't listening at first, but that person seemed to have been listening after all because earlier this year I talked to her on the phone and she was telling me what products she's been trying and she chopped all her damaged hair off and the new cut looks great too.

I had a vision: I wanted my loved ones to have healthy hair like me. I guess I wanted me and my sisters and cousins (we're very close) to be on this journey to healthy longer hair together. Talk about Wishful Thinking! There is maybe that one other relative in this journey with me. I wonder if she's a lurker because I showed her the site but she didn't seem too interested, but on the other hand she seems to be motivated like I was. But yeah, I no longer offer hair care advice but try to still give little bits of encouragement. For instance, if my sis says "I want to buy that new olive oil hairdress." I'll say, "That's great. I hear it's good for hair condition and growth." That's It. I don't go any further than that. Nobody really listens, plus they want to argue with you even though you may have way more proof than they even have a leg to stand on!

 

[Isis77]

oh the irony!!!!

i just had this experience myself with my mom!

so before i found lhcf, i had some-what healthy hair...my dad used to give me relaxers all the time (my cousin taught him so he could keep my hair and my mom's hair up no matter where we lived since he was in the Army and we moved a lot) but little did i know at the time why my hair was always breaking off. i went to a salon one day to pamper myself and get my hair done by a pro and the stylist looked at my ends and said "they are very thin! who does your hair?!" and i said my dad. "does he drag the relaxer all the way to the ends?" she asked, i said "of course! that's how it's supposed to be done." lachen well, needless to say, she quickly corrected me on that and after a few salon visits and their pricey bills, i decided that i knew enough to do my own hair. so i began relaxing for about a year and my hair started to look a lot healthier than before since i wasn't over-lapping now, but of course, i still had a lot i was doing wrong (flat-ironed daily, cotton scarves at night, trims every 4-6weeks...it's a wonder my hair actually touched the top of my shoulders!) however, it still looked pretty darn good to be a non-lhcf member at the time and my mom always commented on how shiny and bouncy it was and how much body it had.

fast-forward to now where i have all of this wonderful new info from lhcf! my mom still lets my dad do her hair, even tho i have told them BOTH hundreds of times that he needs to stop dragging the relaxer out to the ends, but he refuses to listen! so this past weekend i offered to make her "my project" for 6months. i showed her pics of you fabulous ladies and your fabulous heads of long, thick and shiny hair and she, with top-o-the shoulder length, thin-ended, very damaged and dry hair agreed to follow the steps i would give her. i convinced her to wait about 2 more weeks until her next relaxer (her last one was like 6weeks ago with very little new growth.... ) which she thought she needed b/c her hair gets dry when she needs a relaxer (?!) , and i put her on a reggie of ORS carrot oil and cocoa nut oil sealer, had her braid and bun daily, had her give up her fine tooth comb for the wide tooth, as well as give up her rough brush, and made her start wearing a scarf to bed.

She lasted 3 days.

Last night she tells me that my dad is going to do her hair this weekend. i say "you don't want me to do it for you?" and she repeats "your dad is going to do it." i quit right there yall!

if she liked my hair relaxed before and i wasn't even ON LHCF, wait until she sees it texlaxed and me as a member of LHCF!!!!!!! THEN, I bet she'll be begging me to help her with her hair...but i'll just kindly remind her of when she turned to me and said "I've already been natural before, I told you I don't want to go there again." (when all I was telling her to do is stretch her relaxers...not BC!!! )

Sorry it's so long, but i just wanted to say I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!

 

[glamazon386]

That's why I don't explain. People rarely ask me for advice anyway since I'm always in weave or wearing a wig. Or since my hair is short. As far as they're concerned I'm bald headed anyway. Occasionally I get a weave question. I've been getting a lot of natural hair questions lately though.

 

[cutenaynay]

i know some people like that. its like why ask for my advice and your not gonna use it. Next time dont ask me nothing but yet you always find yourself still giving them more advice

 

[ricochet]

Seeeee ... this is exactly why I don't offer up detailed explanations about my hair regimen. People really don't wanna know; they just want you to point them to the magic bullet that will make their hair grow overnight.

Yes Lord...I have encountered this one too many times and don't offer advice anymore unless I get some serious sincerity. I let them know up front that if you aren't going to listen, then I will not waste my time.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

And this is why I do not share with anyone except my husband what I am doing with my hair & why I need certain products. I may share a photo or two when asked but that's it.

My sister is like many of those who ask questions but don't really want the answer since the answer is patience and a huge time commitment to research and take care of your hair.

 

[Christa438]

oh the irony!!!!

i just had this experience myself with my mom!

...Last night she tells me that my dad is going to do her hair this weekend. i say "you don't want me to do it for you?" and she repeats "your dad is going to do it." i quit right there yall!

if she liked my hair relaxed before and i wasn't even ON LHCF, wait until she sees it texlaxed and me as a member of LHCF!!!!!!! THEN, I bet she'll be begging me to help her with her hair...but i'll just kindly remind her of when she turned to me and said "I've already been natural before, I told you I don't want to go there again." (when all I was telling her to do is stretch her relaxers...not BC!!! )

Sorry it's so long, but i just wanted to say I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!

Sounds like Mama, like many including mine, is keeping to her ways. I wouldn't be surprised if even when your hair is healthy and swangin past WL if she still ignores your advice. I hope she will come around though and I hope mine will too. I sho don't expect my loved ones to come around any time this decade. Some people are just comfy where they are, they are so used to it I guess.

And trying to tell a frequent relaxer to stretch is like asking for an arm. I don't know why it has to be so difficult to relax 6-8 weeks post and only relax the NEWGROWTH not the whole head. If I said' "Hey, you're overprocessing!" They didn't listen. So I thought maybe "overprocessing" is a uncommon term so I tried to break it down and say, "Hey, you're breakin your sh** off!" They still didn't understand or they didn't care.

I remember My mom mentioned that a man who is into hair care told her that a good leave-in will help so much with trying to grow hair. She bought a leave-in too; she used a lil bit, but really it stayed underneath her sink in the cabinet and I started using it up! And that was around the time that I found LHCF and learned about using leave-ins. Im just focused on my hair now though. Like someone said I can only do me while they continue to do them.

 

[carib_n_curly]

i feel your pain they ask you tell they call you crazy and then their hir falls out more.

when people at college ask me what i do to my hair and i tell them wash it once a week <---them, moisturise it "no all you need is grease and any way and your not black any way" i could of spat in her eye the amount of times i hear that from people, whay am i then cause caribbean ain't a race it's a place

or "your caribbean" so what it don't mean ish i have white friend that have hair growth issues.

i just don't give advice to any that isn't my bro,sis or mum cause the world tells me rubbish

it's like when you tell them you have no magic potion and you tell them they have to do work on their hair they turn against you cause you sugguested washing your hair before it start funking up the place crazy people. they just make me want to:hardslap: even if you don't agree with what i'm saying doesn't mean manners has to go out the window