Party Crashing Or Nah?

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syze6

Well-Known Member
So my husband's sister n law, which is what she refers to herself as , seems to have this shady energy toward me. I say this based on different instances. So she wants to get together for dinner with him and his siblings. Mind you... the other brother has a live in fiance. The invitation was not extended to her or myself. She just wants it to be the brothers and the sister for dinner. So The hubby and I was having a conversation about it. Basically trying to understand why she would think that neither me or the fiance would accompany them. So I was telling him that when I would run into her, she would pretend like she didn't see me. Even though I know she does and after waving like a mad woman she all of a sudden notices me. The issue of seeing her and her pretending her number had changed, when she is constantly sending him daily bible messages or texts from the SAME number. I have been nothing but nice to her and I really don't know what her issue is. I do know as a woman I would never invite someone's mate to something and exclude their SO. So my question to you ladies...would you attend or just say screw her and her dinner? :lachen:
 
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Does your husband plan to go? I think its up to him to set the precedent. If he goes without you it could send a message to her that it is ok to exclude you from family events. I could see if this was just the brothers, but she has included herself and their sister and deliberately left you and the fiance out. That's petty, childish and disrespectful.

To answer your question, I would go just to send a message. You and your husband are a package deal.
 
mrselle said:
Does your husband plan to go? I think its up to him to set the precedent. If he goes without you it could send a message to her that it is ok to exclude you from family events. I could see if this was just the brothers, but she has included herself and their sister and deliberately left you and the fiance out. That's petty, childish and disrespectful.

To answer your question, I would go just to send a message. You and your husband are a package deal.
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He showed me a group text she sent them, basically asking them if the date she set works with their work schedule. He said well if he went, WE would go. Then I started feeling a certain type of way about the exclusion and then he was like," F' it...I'm not going either!":lachen::lachen::lachen:

I just don't know any woman that would think that is fine to do. First off dude is in a whole other relationship, whether you acknowledge it or not. So she wants to remain in contact with the family. Yeah...I am family also. She isn't married to his brother or in a relationship with him, but her children are my hubby's nephews so what the hell is the deal. As I get older, I realize people just aren't worth the energy. My cousin was like, "Naw fam...sometimes you just have to go there with people!" :lachen:
 
syze6 said:
He showed me a group text she sent them, basically asking them if the date she set works with their work schedule. He said well if he went, WE would go. Then I started feeling a certain type of way about the exclusion and then he was like," F' it...I'm not going either!":lachen::lachen::lachen:

I just don't know any woman that would think that is fine to do. First off dude is in a whole other relationship, whether you acknowledge it or not. So she wants to remain in contact with the family. Yeah...I am family also. She isn't married to his brother or in a relationship with him, but her children are my hubby's nephews so what the hell is the deal. As I get older, I realize people just aren't worth the energy. My cousin was like, "Naw fam...sometimes you just have to go there with people!" :lachen:
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Wait, so mot only is she not the sister, but she’s not married to a brother? She’s the ex?
 
ladysaraii said:
Wait, so mot only is she not the sister, but she’s not married to a brother? She’s the ex?
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Yep...nor has she ever been married to him. She is a longtime girlfriend who he had children with. For her, she is forever his girl...no matter WHO comes along. So she feels they should get together and that may be fine in her mind. I don't see how she thinks hanging out with them minus SO is suitable.
 
syze6 said:
Yep...nor has she ever been married to him. She is a longtime girlfriend who he had children with. For her, she is forever his girl...no matter WHO comes along. So she feels they should get together and that may be fine in her mind. I don't see how she thinks hanging out with them minus SO is suitable.
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Welp then I blame the brother for enabling that mess. Ain't no way I would date a guy with all that.
 
FoxxyLocs said:
Is her ex the brother with the fiance? She has a lot of nerve either way. I would leave it up to DH to let her know we're coming together or not at all.
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No...the other brother of my hubby has a fiance and she was not invited either,
 
I'm not sure why anyone is considering going?
The brother has moved on.

None of the family has legitimate business with her outside of her 2 kids. ...if the kids aren't coming, what is the point of meeting up? To reminisce about old times...when she was with the brother?

Why not just plan to see her at christmas dinner, and keep it moving?
 
ladysaraii said:
Welp then I blame the brother for enabling that mess. Ain't no way I would date a guy with all that.
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metro_qt said:
I'm not sure why anyone is considering going?
The brother has moved on.

None of the family has legitimate business with her outside of her 2 kids. ...if the kids aren't coming, what is the point of meeting up? To reminisce about old times...when she was with the brother?

Why not just plan to see her at christmas dinner, and keep it moving?
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For some reason, they feel like they don't want to offend her.
. She has done the MOST for this brother and he continues to reward her with new relationships and never coming back to her. I think they feel bad for her. Her attachment to the family borders on obsession. It's hard to explain...dude is locked up at the moment too. It really is odd the energy between us.
 
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syze6 said:
Yep...nor has she ever been married to him. She is a longtime girlfriend who he had children with. For her, she is forever his girl...no matter WHO comes along. So she feels they should get together and that may be fine in her mind. I don't see how she thinks hanging out with them minus SO is suitable.
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Ummmm.... nope. I wouldn't even acknowledge her presence, let alone have dinner with her. She's irrelevant AND rude. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a nervous breakdown coming up when reality hits her in the face like a bucket of cold water. I wouldn't wanna be nearby.
 
syze6 said:
For some reason, they feel like they don't want to offend her.
. She has done the MOST for this brother and he continues to reward her with new relationships and never coming back to her. I think they feel bad for her. Her attachment to the family borders on obsession. It's hard to explain...dude is locked up at the moment too. It really is odd the energy between us.
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Clearly I'm a jerk bc I wouldn't have gone alling with any of this if I was the family. It's one thing if we were really friends before the break up, but then again I'm a when we break up we go separate ways type of person.
 
ladysaraii said:
Clearly I'm a jerk bc I wouldn't have gone alling with any of this if I was the family. It's one thing if we were really friends before the break up, but then again I'm a when we break up we go separate ways type of person.
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Just odd... I can see wanted to hang with the sister, but the brothers as well. I don't even see any of them except at family gatherings. Which I skip from time to time. I for sure don't see the brother outside of anything but a gathering. I don't even talk to him. She on the other hand stays texting and stuff... just weird.
 
syze6 said:
For some reason, they feel like they don't want to offend her. She has done the MOST for this brother and he continues to reward her with new relationships and never coming back to her. I think they feel bad for her. Her attachment to the family borders on obsession. It's hard to explain...dude is locked up at the moment too. It really is odd the energy between us.
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He's locked up, so she's staying in the good books still playing wifey, rubbing shoulders with the fam, til he gets out instead of seeing this as a blessing and an opportunity to move on. Yall need to put an intervention on her.
 
What kind of weird mess is this? Some baby mama that is no longer in the family and never really was if you want to be technical about it, is trying to throw a "family" gathering and exclude people? Exactly who do you think you are lady? You're not even IN the family! :lachen:

Me and my family would fix her all the way up. We don't play that stuff and will close ranks in a minute.
 
MizAvalon said:
What kind of weird mess is this? Some baby mama that is no longer in the family and never really was if you want to be technical about it, is trying to throw a "family" gathering and exclude people? Exactly who do you think you are lady? You're not even IN the family! :lachen:

Me and my family would fix her all the way up. We don't play that stuff and will close ranks in a minute.
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We would gather her right on up.

I would think if you're an outsider you really can't afford to be exclusionary. You need to make friends where you can. :lachen::lachen:
 
awhyley said:
He's locked up, so she's staying in the good books still playing wifey, rubbing shoulders with the fam, til he gets out instead of seeing this as a blessing and an opportunity to move on. Yall need to put an intervention on her.
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Its not the first time he's been locked up. He STILL currently has a girlfriend but she doesn't care! She dubbed herself wifey a long time ago and is still jumping to his rescue even when not asked.
 
syze6 said:
For some reason, they feel like they don't want to offend her.
. She has done the MOST for this brother and he continues to reward her with new relationships and never coming back to her. I think they feel bad for her. Her attachment to the family borders on obsession. It's hard to explain...dude is locked up at the moment too. It really is odd the energy between us.
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I think it could be if you guys come she will feel left out or if SO(s) attend that the love of her life will invite his gf to attend. She wants to feel a connection with his fam to feel closer to him.
 
God_Favor said:
I think it could be if you guys come she will feel left out or if SO(s) attend that the love of her life will invite his gf to attend. She wants to feel a connection with his fam to feel closer to him.
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He is locked up, so he won't be joining.:lachen: So you think she wouldn't feel that same connection if the SO came? They haven't been together in years.
 
syze6 said:
He is locked up, so he won't be joining.:lachen: So you think she wouldn't feel that same connection if the SO came? They haven't been together in years.
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Wait, so this woman had children with your husband’s brother. She was never married to the brother. And she and the brother are no longer even together. And now the brother is in jail (again) and has a new girlfriend as well. And she wants to get together with your husband and his other siblings and exclude you and the other brother’s fiancée?

My take on it is that she is owed some level of support and respect because she is the mother of your husband’s and his siblings’ nephews. Because the brother is in jail she and her children don’t have much support. I’m assuming your husband’s family is more stable than hers? I actually think it says a lot about your husband and his siblings to care about her. She has children with their unstable brother. They want to maintain a relationship with their nephews and be there for them.

While she is not an in law, she is also not just an ex. How she is going about this is a little odd and I’m sure she is jealous of you and the other brother’s fiancée. But I think she may have something she wants to discuss with your brother and his siblings that pertains to the children. Or she’s trying to figure out where she fits in or how to move forward now that the brother is in jail again. Or she needs financial support. Or she’s moving? Idk. It could be anything. My point is that if she hasn’t done this before I think I would cut her some slack and see what’s going on with her and her children.
 
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