Other women calling your man...?

R

ReeseCup

New Member
Oh God, its a long story but in short...

How do you handle other women calling your man, or even vice versa? Esp when they know he has someone (WHO LIVES WITH HIM)? How do you handle your man flirting with other women?

I know I am going to have to give more details, its just complicated. I'm with a man...who, when things are going great, are GREAT. But if we have an argument or disagree, and I give him the silent no booty treatment (lol), he goes and gets on the phone with someone else. I almost feel like its a low self esteem thing, like he has to be validated.

I dont know. This situation is stressing me out, and the story can be long, but this is the basis of it. He always says its nothing, and they know its nothing, SO WHY DO IT?? Why have the inappropriate convo in the first place???

Anyway, help me if you can...what should I do? When I confront him about it we always get into fights. Its kinda getting old...

Can prayer really change things? LOL. Nah, I'm serious though.
 
Ask yourself how does he manage to keep these women around long enough in order to have these "conversations" with them whenever you all are having a disagreement. Something tells me he is doing a whole lot more than just having conversations.
 
DH does not receive calls from any woman who is not related to us. I'm a bit confused as to why women are calling your boyfriend when you live together? Or why he would be calling other women?

If he is just doing it to upset you....or show you that he has other options, it's time to dump him. You do not want to be a man's option - you want to be his priority. His self esteem issues are not for you to work out....he needs to do that on his own or seek counseling.
 
*lightin a newport for dis one...* obeekaybee..here goes.

From the sounds of it, it sounds like you two are young. No disrespect, but he is very immature. First, it's a dis to you for him to speak to another woman in your presence. Second, it's a dis to you if he is talkin to anotha broad on the phone, in which this case, I just KNOW he is talkin about the relationship he has with you. In other words, da bidness. Whether she is calling the house, or he's picking up the phone and calling her, it is still a no no. I hate to say it, but I think it's time to drop da bama. He's not made you a priority, as he has OPTIONS. I've said this many times in other threads.

Know that we as women are emotional creatures whereas men aren't. Not giving him the boody and giving the silent treatment....men don't understand that, nor will they. They will seek it elsewhere. I already see where this is going, so rather than have arguments with him (this feeds his ego and gives him amunition), leave it alone. However, if you want to salvage the relationship, try communicating rather than cutting of the sex sources and the communication altogether. A lot of times, it's now WHAT you say, but how you say it. Men don't care about that because they can get it elsewhere.

Now, if the broad is calling the house and know that you live together, then someone needs to pack their things and be on their way because it's only going to get worse. That means he is allowing another woman in your home so to speak and its DISRESPECTFUL. Women can be catty when it comes to those types of things. I have been there and done that and it did not come out cute for my ex or for her. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. He's telling you one thing.....then if you ever get the chance to speak to the broad, you'll hear something totally different.....I would share mines, but this thread is about you.
 
i personally wouldnt deal with it . there would be no calling my man . if he had a good female friend previous to us being together i can respect that . strictly platonic friends anything more than that and we have a problem . i say express how you feel about the phone calls . if he doesnt stop them from calling or stop talking to them you need to move on girlfriend. and about the flirting ,.........some people men and women are just flirtaous. if he doesnt have enough respect to not do it in front of you:driver: . you need to bounce and tell him to the left , to the left ...lol no but seriously and nothing wrong with a little chit chat with the opposite sex every now and then .if he has the desire to talk to other women he may not be happy with you or something.its not you problem its him missing out . arrrrrrrrrrgggg basically i am saying to speak and be heard and dont settle for less because you deserve the best ,,,,,,,i hope i made some sense instead of just rambling on ,,,,,,
 
You're young, fresh and naive in his mind. He thinks that he's a seasoned pro who's molding you. Don't give his unrefined tail the best years of your life. There is NO way I would tolerate a man flirting with other women IN MY PRESENCE or period while we're in a relationship- ESPECIALLY when we're living together.

My ex did things that were similar; I was 19, he was 22. He would say, "Well I'm not coming to your house; I'm going to hang out with someone who listens to me."

Homie, bye! ... because I would ignore him.

If the shoe were on the other foot, you would have been out the door.

ETA: Female friends are cool as long as there's no FLIRTING or using them to make YOU jealous or insecure. He needs to grow up.

 
ReeseCup said:
Oh, I'm young...he isnt.
Click to expand...

Ok.....so he's got you on this emotional rollercoaster. Playing with your emotions....time for you to step. I think that maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship. Take him out of the equation for a minute and think about what it is YOU want and how YOU want to be treated. Then make your decision from there....You are too young to be going through unnecessary drama....seriously.
 
I agree with the other ladies. Don't let him disrespect you like that. If you are an option to him, it's time to let him go.

When you say "why have the inappropriate convo", what exactlllly can you hear them talkin about?
 

welllllll, you asked....... *ducks for cover*

1. I've never had a problem like that. No man that I've ever dated or have been involved with has ever talked to other women when we were together. (Yes I know we don't know what a man does when we are not around but stuff like that will be found out....I don't play.)
2. If your man is doing that when you have problems, you need to leave - now. period.
3. You mentioned prayer. If you are a Christian, you need to repent and reform (and so does he). Then perhaps God can present you to the right man at the right time.
4. Yes, he IS young (aka immature) if that is how he behaves.
 
The only other woman that calls my man (and is not in relation or professional) is his best friend which is also my friend and I talk to her more than he does. He knows I would spit fire if there were anyone else.


Get out of it...seems stressful as well *smh*
 
He's not my man if 'other' women are calling him/vice-versa.

All the games (disrespecting you, possibly cheating, immaturity) and ego-stroking tactics are not worth it. If he's my man, even through disagreements, he would not betray trust like this. What relationship?
 
Go ahead and get that man out of your life. You can buy a peace of mind. Why sit around worrying if he's cheating, who he's talking, is he bringing these women into your home when you're gone? Move on. He thinks he has you where he wants you.
 
ReeseCup said:
Oh God, its a long story but in short...

How do you handle other women calling your man, or even vice versa? Esp when they know he has someone (WHO LIVES WITH HIM)? How do you handle your man flirting with other women?

I know I am going to have to give more details, its just complicated. I'm with a man...who, when things are going great, are GREAT. But if we have an argument or disagree, and I give him the silent no booty treatment (lol), he goes and gets on the phone with someone else. I almost feel like its a low self esteem thing, like he has to be validated.

I dont know. This situation is stressing me out, and the story can be long, but this is the basis of it. He always says its nothing, and they know its nothing, SO WHY DO IT?? Why have the inappropriate convo in the first place???

Anyway, help me if you can...what should I do? When I confront him about it we always get into fights. Its kinda getting old...

Can prayer really change things? LOL. Nah, I'm serious though.
Click to expand...

ETA: nevermind....you guys are younger than I expected.
 
Last edited:
I don't play that. Period. If you want to put up with it, that's on you. I already have strong feelings regarding men/women "friendships" anyway.:nono:
 
At first, it did annoy me a little bit. Then, he told me that the women he knows that call him he has known since high school and these women are married, so that is fine with me. I know nothing is going on, so it doesn't bother me at all.
 
You might as well get rid of him now, because he will be getting rid of you as soon as you stop acting right.
 
ReeseCup said:
Oh God, its a long story but in short...

How do you handle other women calling your man, or even vice versa? Esp when they know he has someone (WHO LIVES WITH HIM)? How do you handle your man flirting with other women?

I know I am going to have to give more details, its just complicated. I'm with a man...who, when things are going great, are GREAT. But if we have an argument or disagree, and I give him the silent no booty treatment (lol), he goes and gets on the phone with someone else. I almost feel like its a low self esteem thing, like he has to be validated.

I dont know. This situation is stressing me out, and the story can be long, but this is the basis of it. He always says its nothing, and they know its nothing, SO WHY DO IT?? Why have the inappropriate convo in the first place???

Anyway, help me if you can...what should I do? When I confront him about it we always get into fights. Its kinda getting old...

Can prayer really change things? LOL. Nah, I'm serious though.
Click to expand...


I see you say you are young. I checked your profile and we are the same age. We are getting OLD girl:-) j/k. Anyway, too old to be playing games. I think that the way to resolve a problem is communication, not the silent treatment/no booty. Anyway, as for the other women calling or him calling other women, that's a huge No No. It's even more disrespectful b/c you two live together. That's grounds for the automatic boot but if you want to give him one more chance you need to communicate to him clearly how you feel and let him know the consequences. Let him know that you do not want him talking to other females and them calling YOUR house and that if this continues it's over. If he's serious about you and doesn't want to lose a good thing, believe me, he'll stop.
 
I would confront him and let him know how disrespectful he is and that I will not tolerate it and show him politely where the exit door is and tell him that he is now a single man
 
Ms_Delikate said:
Ask yourself how does he manage to keep these women around long enough in order to have these "conversations" with them whenever you all are having a disagreement. Something tells me he is doing a whole lot more than just having conversations.
Click to expand...

EXACTLY!!! No woman is going to keep having a man dump his emotional baggage on her without getting something in return.
Plus where are his boys? Every man has boys he hangs with. For him to only be calling women after an argument is a red flag.
 
ReeseCup said:
Oh God, its a long story but in short...

How do you handle other women calling your man, or even vice versa? Esp when they know he has someone (WHO LIVES WITH HIM)? How do you handle your man flirting with other women?

I know I am going to have to give more details, its just complicated. I'm with a man...who, when things are going great, are GREAT. But if we have an argument or disagree, and I give him the silent no booty treatment (lol), he goes and gets on the phone with someone else. I almost feel like its a low self esteem thing, like he has to be validated.

I dont know. This situation is stressing me out, and the story can be long, but this is the basis of it. He always says its nothing, and they know its nothing, SO WHY DO IT?? Why have the inappropriate convo in the first place???

Anyway, help me if you can...what should I do? When I confront him about it we always get into fights. Its kinda getting old...

Can prayer really change things? LOL. Nah, I'm serious though.
Click to expand...

I think that the act of calling other women in itself is not a crime. He may have some very solid female friends that he has had years before you and will have years after you. Relationships are transitory - you will have MANY before you find the one that is right for you and you don't just cut off and disregard your lifelong friends every time you're in one. That said though...

It seems as if he knows this bothers you and he makes a big show of doing it in front of you because he knows it HURTS you. THAT is a problem. You do not want to put all your eggs in that basket. Do not deal with ANYone who does ANYTHING to hurt you intentionally no matter how small an issue it is. They grow over time.

Similarly, you cop a tude with him and withhold sex to hurt HIM when he doesn't behave the way you want him to and that is equally wrong. Although, quite frankly, when my hubby ticks me off, I just don't WANT to touch him. I am not being evil, just not feeling it. I sense though that you may use it as some type of tool to inflict punishment. You may want to rethink that as well.

Pointing how how young/immature you are is pointless. We are all either young or used to be and we all have things to learn at any age. I'm just not seeing the "helpfulness" there.

I would go into the "you need couples counseling" bit but I just do not think he has your best interest at heart and I think you can do better for yourself so I will skip it. Good luck with whatever you decide. Keep us posted.
 
Thank you ladies, all of you whether I agreed or not. But I will respond to you all when I get in the comforts of my own house, lol. I'm at a friends house checking this - I'm really addicted to the hair board. :)

But I will update you, and try to get a little more into some specifics.
 
Shonni said:
The only other woman that calls my man (and is not in relation or professional) is his best friend which is also my friend and I talk to her more than he does. He knows I would spit fire if there were anyone else.


Get out of it...seems stressful as well *smh*
Click to expand...
With a cutie like you got in you siggy, its good you got it like that cause you'd be a fire breathing dragon otherwise. Really only came in to say your SO is a cutie pie....that is all leaving thread now.
 
Number one WHY? is other women calling him. What level is your realtionship on? No, I would not and will not put up with that it is not right at all. Again if you are young though some men do like to take advantage and play with a young womans emotions.
 
I am currently in this situation and I am also currently putting all his stuff in a box. he told me he not gonna stop and what more can I ask for, at least he aint lie and led me on.

to the left, to the left.

it aint worth the stress and then you dont know what he is talking to them about, there is no need for any other woman calling him to small talk, nuh uh. Save the future drama and get out while it isnt so hard.
 
Encore said:
I am currently in this situation and I am also currently putting all his stuff in a box. he told me he not gonna stop and what more can I ask for, at least he aint lie and led me on.

to the left, to the left.

it aint worth the stress and then you dont know what he is talking to them about, there is no need for any other woman calling him to small talk, nuh uh. Save the future drama and get out while it isnt so hard.
Click to expand...

:clap: Good for you Encore!

To the OP, I would not put up with this type of childish, manipulative behavior, for me this would be a dealbreaker.
 
Well first to answer the question As long as they are friends I don't care who's calling who. I have all the trust in the world in DH besides the girls he was friends with were before we ever got together and the same with me and my male friends
 
I don't have a problem with him talking to other women, he knows lots of them.

I would have a problem if he's talking to them in a way that would disrespect our relationship. This is where I draw the line in the sand.

Every woman has to draw her own personal line in the sand where they will now allow themselves to be disrespected.

-A
 
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