Or Lord Someone Help! Mr I can't Committ vs Mr Perfect

[SimpleKomplexity]

I needs yalls help. I'm really torn. Couldn't sleep at all last night. Just woke up after going to sleep at 9.

Mr. Perfect? Found his wallet and took me out yesterday. He took me to the mall, out to eat, and to the park. Bought me some clothes (after I begged him not to), took me to a nice restaurant and he told me he just loves spending time with me. I tried to deter the situation and told him there are a million girls in Jackson, he could take his pick. Why is he spending so much time with me. He told me he could get his pick, but he's not in a relationship because he will wait forever for me. I went from this .........erplexed......to this .

He telling me that he feels like I'm very close to him, but I push him away. He'll stop hearing from me for 2-3 days or whatever, and when he asks me will I be in a relationship with him I never give him an answer. I told him that you can't get what you want the first go around. He told me where here is the second. He took off his necklace (it's t his lil cross necklace) and asked me this is the second time so let me get it right. He counted "1, Will you marry me" I quickly replied heck no!! Then he told me he was playing but he is not playing about number 2. He said "2, will you be my girlfriend." So I sat there stunned for a little while....I told him yes.

Now Mr. I can't Committ is crying. Background info I went over Mr. I can't Committ's house.... (I'm sorry LHCF). We got to arguin in front of his parents. They asked me why I wasn't around as much. I told him I hated how he treats me. They asked what he does. He claimed I do the same things to him and when he finally realized that he's ready to be in a relationship he sees that all my focus has been turned to this "crispity crunchy man" that I talk to now. He says he could never compete with him. He's always buying her stuff and Mr. I Can't Committ can't. When it was time for me to leave....he didn't want to let me out. He detered me 30 minutes while he arguin quietly in the back of my car.He told me he loved me, but he knew how things were playing out I would be in a relationship with this dude.

He saw that my relationship status was changed after my date. He called him and told him cuz I didn't want him to find out like that. I told him that i was in a relationship (before I knew he already knew.) He said he had initially called to talk to me but now he can't. He asked could he call me back. He called me back crying. (He's a country boy never cries) You can tell he was tryna get it together, but he kept saying this is all my fault. I can't be upset it's all my fault. He told me he had something right in his hand and he dusted it off cuz it would always be there or so he thought. He couldn't talk to me without choking up. So he made a playlist and told me to listen :

(If you don't want to see the playlist(well half of it) he's the problem... I love him. Mr. I can't Committ. I really do. He makes me happy. He doesn't have a lot to bring to the table when compared to Mr. Perfect, but still he's the one my heart longs for. I don't love Mr. Perfect as much. As time he really grows on me, but I know it's wrong but my heart is with Mr. I Can't Committ. I never want to hurt Mr. Perfect, but how can I not when I'm in a relationship with him (and I really value this relationship. As time goes on I realize I DO have feelings for him...but just not as strong) , but now I'm so afflicted my mr. I can't Committ's feelings. I've never seen him this way. Someone help )

Too Late She's Gone
Feel like I lost my Heart
Or misplaced my thoughts and, I don't Know
Ready to walk on home
I just couldn't see it comin'
Say ohhh,
Baby it was all My fault
I forgot how to treat a Woman
I don't Know,
Why I was playing around
And all the while I was Losin'

The best girl in my Life, for sure (for sure)
Is about up and walk out that Door
Said, She won't play Number 2 anymore
Seems like the waters won't dry
And I don't know why...


Why Is She Gone?

Crazy Neyo
Just call me crazy
Insane, deranged
It don't matter to me
Call it what you want to
I don't care
And it doesn't make a difference
Long as she's there

Go On Girl:
I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong

Pretty Wings:
Time will bring a well end of our trial
One day there’ll be no remnants no trace
No residual feelings for me
One day you won’t remember me
Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love you
I hope you feel the same

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Um, I'm a little confused. Like I said before, Don't be a messy ho. Figure out what you want from a relationship then figure out which guy fulfills your most important relationship needs. I know each guy has something to offer, but you can't have both and it's unfair to string both guys along. So make a decision and let one go. I can't tell you who to pick... that's on you.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Um, I'm a little confused. Like I said before, Don't be a messy ho. Figure out what you want from a relationship then figure out which guy fulfills your most important relationship needs. I know each guy has something to offer, but you can't have both and it's unfair to string both guys along. So make a decision and let one go. I can't tell you who to pick... that's on you.

Aw heck. I made the right decision. I know I did... He's what I need right now and likewise for him with me...but I still care for Mr. I Can't Committ.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Oh I wish I didn't get to argusin with I Can't Committ. His parents pulled me to the side and told me they really like me, and t hey think he is so afraid of being in a relationship with me because I'm more mature than his other girls and he was burned pretty bad in the past and he's afraid of me and also afraid of longevity in a relationship.

His dad also told me that he thinks both of us spent too much time together this summer and fell too fast and that's not healthy. That's why he kept asking me did I like him son. lol And he told em he didn't appreciate the both of us lying about it in front of his face in his house. He told me that he likes me and would love to see me with his son. The whole family likes me, but he tol dme to not wait on his son even though he's a good person

 

[ThePerfectScore]

HELL you can't wait on a boy to grow up, now. Can't let him stifle your growth as a person. If you're already in a relationship with Mr. Perfect... the you need to let Mr. I can't commit alone. In the end if you keep going back and forth, You're going to be the one left sad and alone with the broken heart.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I'm glad u ended up with the Mr. Perfect. because the Can't committ dude is immature and in his mind, he "thinks" this would be the wakeup call to make him treat you right. but i can guarantee you that he would treat you right for a week or two and then just resume his games. He wouldn't change. so basically it's a question of what u want in a relationship and how mature you are. are u the type of chick that will let a dude treat her any kinda way simply because shes in love? or are u the type of chick that has standards about what type of man qualifies to be in your life. Just remember that you are responsible for the decisions that you make!

 

[natural_one]

Stay with Mr. Perfect. Mr Cant Commit is only trying to commit because you are with someone else. It shouldnt have taken you finding someone else before he wanted to be with you. If that was his real intention there wouldnt be a discussion now..This change of heart is nothing but a bruised ego and him missing your attention. Attention you werent getting in return.

There is nothing wrong with caring about him, but you need to be with someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. Keep it moving...

 

[tinkat]

Stay with Mr. Perfect. Mr Cant Commit is only trying to commit because you are with someone else. It shouldnt have taken you finding someone else before he wanted to be with you. If that was his real intention there wouldnt be a discussion now..This change of heart is nothing but a bruised ego and him missing your attention. Attention you werent getting in return.
There is nothing wrong with caring about him, but you need to be with someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. Keep it moving...

Mr. Can't Commit has brought you alot of pain. Love is full of happiness and although you say he makes you happy, I have seen more sadness from your posts about him. Pain is not love, it only comes from the sense of needing and wanting something.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

ZING! You've got the answer, my love... mr. perfect wins... trust me, I had to break down and be with my "mr. Perfect" and I'm super happy. He truely loves and adores me minus all the silly mind games.

 

[phynestone]

No-commitment-dude is a douchebag. I'm sorry, but he is. I like Mr. Perfect, from what you've told me. He really seems to cherish you and if you like him, give him a chance.

 

[TayMac]

Girl do you really think anyone would come in here and tell you to be with MrI can't blah blah..that didn't pay you back..that goes out with other girls and disregards your feelings over a guy that worships the ground you walk on and sticks around though you blew him off??!! I hope YOU don't mess things up with Mr. "Perfect."

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Thank you ladies. My friends gurls were MIA last night, but one of them really helped me out today. She was told me:

"We don't give no da** about men with problems. Yeah we're nice to them occasionally give a subtle flirt but we simply keep it moving until we find someone with less problems than than problems because problems are excuses point blank. You're not here to play counselor. Yeah he's not with you because he has "problems" and previous relationships have made him unable to committ to another woman. So. His loss. Everyone has problems. Everyone has been hurt. You, me, him, and more. Life is not all flowers and petals, it has occasional thorns also. And he just encountered a painful thorn by you having the audacity to keep living life and dwelling on him any longer.

Some of the most precious things in life are only for a season, especially when you overlook them. He does not want you, but his ego wants you to over react. Just KIM. It's nice of you to think of his feelings, but just remember 2 weeks when he didn't think of yours. Now he's upset? So. Karma's a bi**h ain't it? Now enjoy your relationship and don't f**k it up. Please and thank you.

 

[angenoir]

Good for you!
Now you need to distance yourself from Mr Can't Commit now that you're in a relationship. Esp since you know he likes you, his parents want you to be together etc... Its too hot and heavy IMO (crying, arguing, parents involved...:eek) and it could take away from what you should focus on right now ie You and Mr Perfect!
Goodluck.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Oh I wish I didn't get to argusin with I Can't Committ. His parents pulled me to the side and told me they really like me, and they think he is so afraid of being in a relationship with me because I'm more mature than his other girls and he was burned pretty bad in the past and he's afraid of me and also afraid of longevity in a relationship.

His dad also told me that he thinks both of us spent too much time together this summer and fell too fast and that's not healthy. That's why he kept asking me did I like him son. lol And he told em he didn't appreciate the both of us lying about it in front of his face in his house. He told me that he likes me and would love to see me with his son. The whole family likes me, but he tol dme to not wait on his son even though he's a good person

Okay ummm...no offense, but I have never known a man who was REALLY into a girl to be "afraid" of her, or "afraid" of being in a serious relationship with her. If a guy is really into you, he will WANT to be with you, and won't want another guy with you. I often find that those same men who were too "afraid" or "intimidated" to be in a relationship with me will end up being perfectly courageous to be in a serious relationship with someone ELSE later on down the line. It was a hard lesson I had to learn, but hey....

Plus, do you REALLY want a guy who is "afraid" of you anyway?? I mean, no offense, but I want a MANLY man...not a little boy who is "afraid" of me and being in a relationship with me. Yeah we've all been hurt before. Yeah, we all go through heartache. It's a fact of life. But I know one thing, my past hurt won't prevent me from being in a future relationship with a guy that I'm REALLY into, who treats me right.


So girl....listen to the other wise ladies on this board. You made the right choice in choosing Mr. Perfect. Even the code names of these guys ("Mr. Perect" vs. "Mr. I Can't Commit") is very telling. I don't know about you, but I'd choose a "perfect" guy over one that can't commit anyday. And when you really think about it, "Mr. I Can't Commit" is never going to be the one for you if he can't commit.

I also like the point another poster made about bruised egos. This is SO true! Okay, let me be fair and first say this: Sometimes a guy will realize how much he really likes a woman when the threat of her leaving is evident (ie. she finds someone else, she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, etc.) . HOWEVER, you really have to be careful and use discernment in order to figure out whether this guy is really into YOU, or if he's just "jealous" that you are getting attention from another guy, and suffering from a bruised ego as a result. So, just keep that in mind. The same thing happened to me not too long ago. There are ways to tell the difference.


Anyway, I hope things go well for you and "Mr. Perfect."