Online dating "hoe"? or just trying to have a good time?

[lipyt]

So, many of you know I broke us w/ my ex about a month ago and at first I was sooo distraught and acting crazy crying and screaming and what not. I never thought I would get over him and feel better. Well I'm not 100% healed but I do feel a bit better.
Well I have been involved in a few online dating services. And since I have been back in town on my vacation. I have gone out with a different man each day and night. (I drive my own car and tell my people where I'm at and take other precautions)
After being with my ex for so long I don't have a desire to be in a relationship again for a while. I just want to have a good time (no el sexo). I'm finding that in order for me to have a really enjoyable time I need a few different men who can accompany me in satisfying all the different aspects of life I enjoy. I haven't been able (and don't think he exists) to find the complete guy.
I have a guy who I can call to see indie films and go to museums and other artsy fartsy events
I have a guy who I can call to go out dancing
I have a guy who I can call who always makes me laugh
I have a guy who's travelled around the world and is open to trying new foods and exposing himself to new cultures
I have a guy who is extremely intelligent (he does stem cell research at a notable college)
I'm still on the the search for and extremely attractive tall guy to wine me and dine me.
I'm seeing a Nigerian, a black american, a Panimanian, Jamaican and an east indian.
Do you think that that is too much?? Should I be focusing on one guy at a time?

 

[SpyCats]

Nope, you said it yourself, you're not ready to get into anything serious. Focusing on one person at a time lends itself to possibly entering into a relationship prematurely. Enjoy yourself and be safe.

ETA...and besides you're not having sex with these guys anyway.

 

[SpyCats]

Oops, double post.

 

[lipyt]

Nope, you said it yourself, you're not ready to get into anything serious. Focusing on one person at a time lends itself to possibly entering into a relationship prematurely. Enjoy yourself and be safe.

ETA...and besides you're not having sex with these guys anyway.

Thanks Blkbutterfly! And I am having the time of my life! Getting to out everyday and do the thing I absolutely enjoy and not having to comprise on activities is soo wonderful! I feel Like I am living the life! Today I am going out for Ethiopian food with the Nigerian!
Going out with a dude really is different from going out with the girls. Some of my friends think I shouldn't being doing this so soon after my break up. But there is nothing like being in the company of a man even if it isn't sexual.

 

[chichibean]

I say there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing! It's dating! You should enjoy yourself and at the end of the day, how would you ever find the right man for you if you don't make sure you know what you DON'T want. And I agree, there is something special about the company of a man.

And if you are being safe (sexually and otherwise) then I say enjoy yourself!

 

[firecracker]

Helz it sounds like you have the right idea about dating. Every man serves his purpose and its all about fun w/o giving up the draws!

 

[Keen]

As long as the guys knows that you are dating other people, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[sonce]

Do you think that that is too much?? Should I be focusing on one guy at a time?

Too much is whatever you feel is too much, and you shouldn't be doing anything you don't want to do. Focus on how you feel and have a good time. I haven't done online dating but I have been changing dates the way one changes socks even as I have a steady group of men I keep seeing. Enjoy yourself and to hell with what anyone else has to say! I'm celibate but dating up a storm and doing me was never so much fun. I think women like you and I have the right idea about dating. We're putting the fun and variety back into it without the sleeping about. Other women deny themselves variety for fear of appearing ho-ish and then take off their panties for just anyone.

 

[Lindy]

Sounds good to me!! But umm, none of these guys are questioning you at all about your dating practices?? Lucky you... I always seem to hook up with the ones who want to know where I am and who I'm with when I'm not with them... Jeeeez, go out with a guy more than once and they think they own you...

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

what sites do you use?

 

[Maynard]

No girl! That is exactly what you are supposed to do. Having so many choices makes it easier to spot the right one.

 

[lipyt]

Sounds good to me!! But umm, none of these guys are questioning you at all about your dating practices?? Lucky you... I always seem to hook up with the ones who want to know where I am and who I'm with when I'm not with them... Jeeeez, go out with a guy more than once and they think they own you...

Yea...what do yall do when the guys thinks he's the only one and is starting to ask questions?? Do you lie and say "lastnight? Oh! I went out with a few friends." Meanwhile you were out with another guy. Or do you say, "I went out with another guy lastnight."...that's a tough one. Haven't had to deal with that one just yet but I can see it becoming potentially ugly

 

[sonce]

Yea...what do yall do when the guys thinks he's the only one and is starting to ask questions?? Do you lie and say "lastnight? Oh! I went out with a few friends." Meanwhile you were out with another guy. Or do you say, "I went out with another guy lastnight."...that's a tough one. Haven't had to deal with that one just yet but I can see it becoming potentially ugly

When guys get like this with me, I tell them that I do not know them nearly enough to be accountable to them. Those who keep pushing get the truth told in a very blunt way (Ex: "I went on a date with a great guy and we had a fabulous dinner") and then I give them the boot. I can't tolerate men overstepping their bounds.

 

[Lindy]

Errr, yep, THAT'S the problem with serial dating!! I would LOOOVE to be able to date multiple men with no strings attached!! Unfortunately, when they're spending $$ on you, they feel that they have the right to start asking questions!! And I also start feeling guilty that they're spending their $$ on me, when I know that tomorrow I'll be out with someone else...

 

[Lindy]

Those who keep pushing get the truth told in a very blunt way (Ex: "I went on a date with a great guy and we had a fabulous dinner") and then I give them the boot.

Too funny!!

 

[SpyCats]

Too much is whatever you feel is too much, and you shouldn't be doing anything you don't want to do. Focus on how you feel and have a good time. I haven't done online dating but I have been changing dates the way one changes socks even as I have a steady group of men I keep seeing. Enjoy yourself and to hell with what anyone else has to say! I'm celibate but dating up a storm and doing me was never so much fun. I think women like you and I have the right idea about dating. We're putting the fun and variety back into it without the sleeping about. Other women deny themselves variety for fear of appearing ho-ish and then take off their panties for just anyone.

Sonce, where are you meeting these eligible bachelors? Do tell?

 

[Bunny77]

Errr, yep, THAT'S the problem with serial dating!! I would LOOOVE to be able to date multiple men with no strings attached!! Unfortunately, when they're spending $$ on you, they feel that they have the right to start asking questions!! And I also start feeling guilty that they're spending their $$ on me, when I know that tomorrow I'll be out with someone else...

Girl... DO NOT feel guilty... unless they are telling you that they want to have an exclusive relationship with you (and then you agree), then you have the right to see anyone you want... some men just like to spend money on women with no strings attached, but if they start wanting more, then they either need to step up to the plate and make you a GF, or else they have nothing to be asking about!!!

I'd only feel bad if the guy wanted a relationship and I misled him while not being interested. Other than that, as long as the dude is offering free dinners, gifts, etc., and you like his company, keep going out with him!

Trust me... he's not feeling guilty about seeing women other than you!

 

[*Happily Me*]

Doesn't sound bad to me at all

Have fun and be safe.

 

[Maynard]

Yea...what do yall do when the guys thinks he's the only one and is starting to ask questions?? Do you lie and say "lastnight? Oh! I went out with a few friends." Meanwhile you were out with another guy. Or do you say, "I went out with another guy lastnight."...that's a tough one. Haven't had to deal with that one just yet but I can see it becoming potentially ugly

Tell him you were out with a friend, a buddy, tell him none of his beezwax. I think its important to keep and air of mystery about yourself. And so what if he thinks you were out with another guy. You arent obligated to him, and neither is he. He spent money on that date for time well spent with a beautiful woman...

 

[sky_blu]

Sounds like you having the good time Im in search of Keep doing your thing!

 

[UmSumayyah]

what sites do you use?

Abenyo cutting straight to the heart of how this thread can help her.

So what sites do you use, OP?

 

[lipyt]

So I went on my date with the Nigerian kid lastnight. It was ok. The food was really good though! Has any one else here had Ethiopian food before? What is that light airy bread they eat made out of? So any way Thursday I have a date with an Indian kid at Hooka bar

 

[Lindy]

Abenyo cutting straight to the heart of how this thread can help her.

So what sites do you use, OP?

She's not giving up the goods, y'all!!

Blackpeoplemeet is pretty good... and it's jumping there tonight... men GALORE!! It looks like I just might be getting my "online dating games" jump-started for 2008!!

 

[sky_blu]

She's not giving up the goods, y'all!!

Blackpeoplemeet is pretty good... and it's jumping there tonight... men GALORE!! It looks like I just might be getting my "online dating games" jump-started for 2008!!

I had the worst luck on BPM.

 

[Lindy]

I had the worst luck on BPM.

Really? What happened?? How many guys did you meet in person from there?

When I first joined a couple of months ago, I hated it... , there are a lot of guys on there who are NOT good prospects (too far away, etc.), and I was bombarded with messages, and it was a pain to go thru them just hitting the delete button, but I've found that if you're patient, there ARE some suitable ones on there.

How long were you an active member? I was on for a month, then I met someone that I THOUGHT I really liked... (long story erplexed ), it didn't work out, so I went back on about 3 weeks ago). So far, so good!! I've met one guy that I will probably be seeing again, and a couple more right now that I plan to meet soon.

 

[SpyCats]

Really? What happened?? How many guys did you meet in person from there?

When I first joined a couple of months ago, I hated it... , there are a lot of guys on there who are NOT good prospects (too far away, etc.), and I was bombarded with messages, and it was a pain to go thru them just hitting the delete button, but I've found that if you're patient, there ARE some suitable ones on there.

How long were you an active member? I was on for a month, then I met someone that I THOUGHT I really liked... (long story erplexed ), it didn't work out, so I went back on about 3 weeks ago). So far, so good!! I've met one guy that I will probably be seeing again, and a couple more right now that I plan to meet soon.

This bolded is how I felt about BPM too when I became a member. I canceled after only a month, I guess I wasn't patient enough. Sounds like I may have to give BPM another chance

 

[lipyt]

Am I the only one who feels like there are a lot of creeps on some of these reputive websites who are just looking for sex?? I enjoy serial dating but so many of the conversations get into sex way too soon! Has any one else experienced that? Otherwise I do enjoy having one date here and another there.

 

[dannie]

No actually the guys I meet online are way more respectful than the ones in real life. Or maybe they just have more tact.

Lipyt, I need to get on your level!!! My friend has been saying for years a woman needs 2-3 men to be completely satisfied. As long as your not sleeping w/ all them then no harm no foul...