OMG! Light-skinned & have long hair dosen't count?!

[santwon]

OP - I am glad you turned their world upside down. One person, one step at a time I say.

I know it's hard, but I wish I could find more ways to challenge these long upheld beliefs. I mean there's nothing supporting them either. I've spent HOURS on Google in the past year or so just looking for ONE piece of factual evidence to be like "ooooh so THAT'S where that thinking comes from". But nope. Google's had 0 hits for me so far on that one.

Apemay - ooooh. The "wasted yella" comment hurt my heart. That is so sad. Like okay you're light and your hair is short -- why you letting us down?

Also!! What if you're "mixed" but NOT with white? What does that mean for your hair? If you're Blasian or if you have Middle Eastern or Aboriginal or Latino (or a combination of all of those). Or is anyone ELSE's hair gonna be "better" than ours by default?

 

[livesoundtech]

I was hanging with my girl's friends, (not my homies) this weekend, and I was online at LHCF. And I was explaining what it is we do here, give advice, etc. And I was told that light-skinned girls and/or mixed girls opinions & regimines don't count because they are mixed and already have naturally long hair. OMG! I replied "are you serious?" What about the hard work, etc that went in getting and maintaining long hair doesn't count regardless if they are mixed?" They responded NO! They even proceeded to say my hair grows so fast because my mom is 1/2 white. I just fell out laughing because one of the girls herself is mixed with short hair. I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

I'm extremely light skinned... I'm Sicilian actually. My hair does NOT grow fast and I know that because I dye it and I can see how fast my roots grow. It grows about 1/4 inch per month. My hair is NOT naturally calm or long or anything like that. That is such a stupid assumption. Some people are blessed with hair that grows quickly, hair that is thick, hair that is non-frizzy... but it really has very little to do with the color of their skin. I have never had hair past BSL and I've been struggling to reach waist length.

All that matters is that you find a regimen that works for you. Some people have hair that requires a little more attention, while others (like my boyfriend) just wake up and run their fingers through their super long hair and have achieved perfection without trying. He's dark skinned though. Point proven - race really isn't a factor.

Thanks for this post!

 

[taj]

I don't entertain ignorance. I'm glad you put her in her place. Their simply ignorant.

 

[pringe]

"..your just a jig-a-boo tryin to find sumthin ta do..."

Ur just a wannabe (WHAT) WAnnabe betta than me!!1

ILOVE this movie cause the messages r so real even today

 

[Curlee_lurker]

Devil's advocate - some of the same things are said here about looser texture being easier to manage and grow. Some people think mixed race = loose texture and loose texture = faster growth.

 

[belle_reveuse28]

hmmm... goes back to the old thought that we gotta be mixed with something to make us better.... When I was younger, I thought that was such a compliment. But when I learned better and knew better, I've become highly insulted. To imply that I must have white or Indian in me to make me a beautiful woman is just plain disgusting. It is not disgusting to be white or Indian, or whatever, it's just disgusting that people assign beauty only to those races adn cultures... But I really think the world scene know we are seriously poppin' off the charts these days and people really dig our skin, our diverse hair and the exotic ways we're fashioned. I"m glad I dont have to be 'mixed' with anything to consider myself beautiful or that my potential for beauty would be greatly hindered if I was straigth up African/Black. For years these stereotypes have torn me down and my self esteem and thank God that He speaks truth into our lives, it is true that He does care. I'm glad i'm able to come here and find truth about my potential for beauty and aesthetics as a black woman. It's a place every black girl needs.. like seriously..
I mean, the idea that our American media gives us of Africans is just shotty... They, Africans, seriously got it going on. And even though we are far from the land of our ancestors, we are blessed to have our skin and hair, and the features we share! I am wonderfully and fearfully made and lovin' it!

Blessings to you all!

 

[belle_reveuse28]

I'm extremely light skinned... I'm Sicilian actually. My hair does NOT grow fast and I know that because I dye it and I can see how fast my roots grow. It grows about 1/4 inch per month. My hair is NOT naturally calm or long or anything like that. That is such a stupid assumption. Some people are blessed with hair that grows quickly, hair that is thick, hair that is non-frizzy... but it really has very little to do with the color of their skin. I have never had hair past BSL and I've been struggling to reach waist length.

All that matters is that you find a regimen that works for you. Some people have hair that requires a little more attention, while others (like my boyfriend) just wake up and run their fingers through their super long hair and have achieved perfection without trying. He's dark skinned though. Point proven - race really isn't a factor.

Thanks for this post!

Wow, I find that very interesting about your hair. Either way, it's very beautiful... You must be doing a lot of the right things in order to retain your length then if you hair grows that slow. I see you just joined in September! Welcome to the forum, glad you're here!

 

[CurlyMoo]

Why do so many Black folks continue to hold on to ignorance like it's their last meal? I don't even share this website or give a haircare G.E.D. to anyone unless they are in despair over their hair. All it does is create tension and disappointment with the human race. Sorry not down with them dopes!

 

[CurlyMoo]

I was told today that I am in fact mixed, or half something (after the girl asked me, or assumed that I was mixed and I told her I wasn't), and just don't know it yet.

I said yep, I'm mixed all right, black and blacker. Brown when my fiance is around too (adult joke lol). That mensa candidate left me alone after that. Cause I told her this is one debate you will NOT win!

Ah, the height of intelligence.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Double Pressed

 

[CurlyMoo]

a small town like 40 minutes from montgomery, Alabama. Thats as much as I can tell you because Im paranoig like that .

Do yall want me to whip my year book out and take pics with my camera phone cuz I will

Yes do it!

 

[CurlyMoo]

Some lines of thinking never go away.

There are those that still think blacks can't get skin cancer.

This topic is no different. It's not stupid. It's ignorant.

I agree with you but on the skin cancer issue, we are less likely too get skin cancer but if we abuse or take our melanin for granted yes we can. Depending on sun exposure and amount of melanin in skin.

 

[glam-]

SMH.

My mom is white. My hair has looked way more F-ed up than most other black chicks EVA has. There are lots of mixed girls whose hair is looking on the regular. (And don't even fix your face to ask me for pics of my hair looking crazy.)

It ticks me off to think that people will discount all the work I put into my hair just cuz I'm mixed!

Thank you! Same here- and except for when I was young and in two plaits, my hair was always jacked. LHCF was a godsend for me.

 

[apemay1969]

hmmm... goes back to the old thought that we gotta be mixed with something to make us better.... When I was younger, I thought that was such a compliment. But when I learned better and knew better, I've become highly insulted. To imply that I must have white or Indian in me to make me a beautiful woman is just plain disgusting. It is not disgusting to be white or Indian, or whatever, it's just disgusting that people assign beauty only to those races adn cultures... But I really think the world scene know we are seriously poppin' off the charts these days and people really dig our skin, our diverse hair and the exotic ways we're fashioned. I"m glad I dont have to be 'mixed' with anything to consider myself beautiful or that my potential for beauty would be greatly hindered if I was straigth up African/Black. For years these stereotypes have torn me down and my self esteem and thank God that He speaks truth into our lives, it is true that He does care. I'm glad i'm able to come here and find truth about my potential for beauty and aesthetics as a black woman. It's a place every black girl needs.. like seriously..
I mean, the idea that our American media gives us of Africans is just shotty... They, Africans, seriously got it going on. And even though we are far from the land of our ancestors, we are blessed to have our skin and hair, and the features we share! I am wonderfully and fearfully made and lovin' it!

Blessings to you all!

You know that is so true and sad. I have four sons with the same father. Two are pretty light and two are pretty dark. Jacob and Bob are light, Alex and TJ are dark. People would comment on how cute Jay and Bob were. Okay, I love my boys but I'm being honest, Jay looked like a cabbage worm. He's very handsome now, they all are, but he was a funny looking baby.

Didn't matter. He was light so they'd pick him up and ignore the darker ones or say how good his hair was. I usually checked folks but my mom was one of the worst culprits, still is.

Ho-hum, our kids are perpetuating the stigma of having Negroid features and 4z hair. It will take generations to change our people's self hatred. I have to pray in order to not feel sad about it.

I'm sorry for long post but it is a very sensitive subject. High school was hell because I didn't know how to keep my hair healthy. Things haven't changed much, it seems.

 

[Latomian]

I don't think people's experiences are ignorant.
I grew up only seeing light skinned people with longer hair than mine, people thought I had some type of "mix" because of my apl length hair..so I figured the more mix the longer the hair.
Even the dark skinned girls with long hair had type 3 hair.
Of course their were mixed people that would have damaged hair...but I used to think hey that's their fault, they had a better chance.lol.

This was me too. My youngest sister is dark skinned and she has loose waves and hair that grows like a weed. People would say it is because we are of caribbean descent but um...so am I...where was my hair? I always heard that my bad hair would never grow like that so I can't blame them since these are things that are environmentally reinforced.

 

[msa]

I guess I must be stupid and ignorant then...

IN MY EXPERIENCE, I have never known a brown skinned or dark brown skinned girl to have long hair. Everyone I have ever known with long hair has been lighter skinned (and usually mixed with something that is non-black). In fact, the first dark skinned female with long hair I ever saw was Rudy on the Cosby's. The others I have seen are ladies on the board. I have yet to meet in person a dark skinned female with long hair.

So, if that makes me stupid and/or ignorant, well then so be it.

I know logically that there are many reasons why black women in general don't have long hair. But, I only learned that information when I joined this board in February. For the first 22 years of my life all I knew was that light skinned black girls had long hair because they were mixed with something. The long hair came from their non-black ancestors. And since I didn't have any non-black ancestors, I wasn't going to have long hair.

I have a feeling that it is going to take a LONG time for me to replace my old beliefs that I've had for two decades with new information. In fact, it'll probably take until I reach waist length. Then I'll know for sure (100% without a doubt) that dark skinned girls can have long hair too.

 

[Neith]

I guess I must be stupid and ignorant then...

IN MY EXPERIENCE, I have never known a brown skinned or dark brown skinned girl to have long hair. Everyone I have ever known with long hair has been lighter skinned (and usually mixed with something that is non-black). In fact, the first dark skinned female with long hair I ever saw was Rudy on the Cosby's. The others I have seen are ladies on the board. I have yet to meet in person a dark skinned female with long hair.

So, if that makes me stupid and/or ignorant, well then so be it.

I know logically that there are many reasons why black women in general don't have long hair. But, I only learned that information when I joined this board in February. For the first 22 years of my life all I knew was that light skinned black girls had long hair because they were mixed with something. The long hair came from their non-black ancestors. And since I didn't have any non-black ancestors, I wasn't going to have long hair.

I have a feeling that it is going to take a LONG time for me to replace my old beliefs that I've had for two decades with new information. In fact, it'll probably take until I reach waist length. Then I'll know for sure (100% without a doubt) that dark skinned girls can have long hair too.

All I can say is I hope you reach your goal!

 

[MA2010]

Thank you for squashing the nonsense. It's like School Daze all over again.

Love that movie girl!

Ignorance is bliss.
Thats why this will always stay as my profile pic

Love this siggy!

"Good or bad hair, see if I care.....GOOD AND BAD HAAAAAAAIRRRRR"

 

[Kurlee]

I guess I must be stupid and ignorant then...

IN MY EXPERIENCE, I have never known a brown skinned or dark brown skinned girl to have long hair. Everyone I have ever known with long hair has been lighter skinned (and usually mixed with something that is non-black). In fact, the first dark skinned female with long hair I ever saw was Rudy on the Cosby's. The others I have seen are ladies on the board. I have yet to meet in person a dark skinned female with long hair.

So, if that makes me stupid and/or ignorant, well then so be it.

I know logically that there are many reasons why black women in general don't have long hair. But, I only learned that information when I joined this board in February. For the first 22 years of my life all I knew was that light skinned black girls had long hair because they were mixed with something. The long hair came from their non-black ancestors. And since I didn't have any non-black ancestors, I wasn't going to have long hair.

I have a feeling that it is going to take a LONG time for me to replace my old beliefs that I've had for two decades with new information. In fact, it'll probably take until I reach waist length. Then I'll know for sure (100% without a doubt) that dark skinned girls can have long hair too.

I cannot discount your personal experience, but there is so much implied here. I just want you to reread your post carefully because it sounds really sad to me and not in a mean way. It makes me feel sad that you truly believe even after being on this board and seeing many brown skinned and darker women with apl and longer hair, you still feel that somehow your skin tone prevents how long your hair can grow and us "lucky ones" who have "other" blood can only have long hair. With proper care, the shortest growth cycle is 2 years and is still 12 inches which is at least top shoulder blade-apl on most people. All i'm saying is don't believe the stereotypes and foolishness that there is a correlation between hair quality and skin tone. I have seen many a dry head belonging to light and dark girls to know that

ETA: I just saw that you are from Cali and now I understand why you have had that experience.

 

[NuBraveHeart]

ok, i have to chime in on this one. i totally get msa's comments, because i lived that when i was a kid. it sickens me now, but back then, if you were a "darkie" you weren't expected to have long flowing hair, or even that unruly curly hair that still grew. you got no attention because of your hair. the light skinned girls at school got all the play, even from other girls! i came to know better as i grew up and moved around the country a lot, i was seeing dark skinned sistas with mid-back to waist length hair and wouldn't be caught dead with a weave.

but the fact of the matter remains, it is evident that this prehistoric and ugly stereotype still exists, cuz we ALL still hear the terms "good hair" and such. my own brother, who's in his mid-thirties, refuses to date dark skinned women because he's infatuated with long hair. but i remember coming home for christmas once and had my hair out, i caught him playing in it! his new gf is light, but no hair! SHE even tells me how pretty MY hair is. like, there's evidence in his face that proves his opinion of light vs. dark is outdated, but he sticks to it anyway. what gives?

sorry for the length of this post, but i understand. i've lived both sides of the fence, from wishing for a drop of someone else's blood to be noticed at school, to enjoying my own hair because i learned how to care for it. how do we change this???

 

[anon123]

I guess I must be stupid and ignorant then...

IN MY EXPERIENCE, I have never known a brown skinned or dark brown skinned girl to have long hair. Everyone I have ever known with long hair has been lighter skinned (and usually mixed with something that is non-black). In fact, the first dark skinned female with long hair I ever saw was Rudy on the Cosby's. The others I have seen are ladies on the board. I have yet to meet in person a dark skinned female with long hair.

So, if that makes me stupid and/or ignorant, well then so be it.

I know logically that there are many reasons why black women in general don't have long hair. But, I only learned that information when I joined this board in February. For the first 22 years of my life all I knew was that light skinned black girls had long hair because they were mixed with something. The long hair came from their non-black ancestors. And since I didn't have any non-black ancestors, I wasn't going to have long hair.

I have a feeling that it is going to take a LONG time for me to replace my old beliefs that I've had for two decades with new information. In fact, it'll probably take until I reach waist length. Then I'll know for sure (100% without a doubt) that dark skinned girls can have long hair too.

I thank you for your honesty. Frankly, I wouldn't put it down to 100% ignorance, too, though I do believe the more we learn the less likely we believe this to be true. I'm from CA, too. what part are you from? It's definitely not true for me that all light-skinned girls I saw had long hair, nor that the only people I saw with long hair were light skinned girls (people are conflating these two statements a lot). But, I do believe that if I were to take a statistical survey, my results would be that people who had a looser hair type had longer hair on average than people who had a tight curl. I still think that's true, and who knows the reason. Maybe it's because the tighter your hair, the sooner they gave you a perm which broke what hair you did have right off. And the tighter your hair, the rougher they combed it believing that, since it was extra nappy it must also be extra tough, when in reality the tighter the curl the more fragile the hair is. For whatever reason, I still think that in general it is true that the looser your hair, the easier it is to grow long. And if I look around, this is what I still see. Of course I always knew it was possible for anyone to grow their hair long, and my cousin, who is quite dark and with kinky hair, has the longest hair I know on any black girl I know personally and almost for any color of person with hair down to her butt.

Now, how connected this is to being light-skinned is up for debate. We all know that there isn't a one-to-one-to-one correlation between having light skin, having looser hair type, and being mixed. But a question I wanted to ask but was afraid of being yelled at is: Does everyone really think there is no correlation at all? So, for example, they now have these racial admixture tests they can do for what percentage African, Asian, and European you are (average AA is 20% Euro genes!). If they did these tests on a large sample of African-Americans, does everyone believe that if you look at a group of people who are 90% African, one that's 80% African, one that's 70% African, 60%, 50%, and so forth, that there will be no observable trend of getting lighter or having less kinky hair? Of course, even if you believe this, doesn't mean you'd want to discount anyone's experience because, just because there is a general trend for something, doesn't mean it's true of any particular individual.

okay, i'm rambling, i'll stop now.

 

[santwon]

I don't know, Mwedzi...maybe? But then, I also know that I didn't know about shrinkage back in the day either. The tightly coiled stuff also usually shrinks up the most. So here I went "discounting" folks for not having long hair, when...maybe I shouldn't have, ya know? I never walked up to anyone and said "hey, pull your hair -- lemme see what you workin with".

And I've seen TONS of those women (and men) with long, long, long, to the floor locs. So I really can't say that only the lighter skinned/looser textured/whatever other adjective people's hair will grow. Maybe if we had some (r)evolution where people realized better hair care and techniques we'd see something different.

I mean I can only think about some of the stuff I was told when I wanted to go natural - that I have to be careful cuz I might have that "slave hair". Really??!! Peer pressure alone might have made some of those women make poorer hair choices.

 

[Rei]

I don't know, Mwedzi...maybe? But then, I also know that I didn't know about shrinkage back in the day either. The tightly coiled stuff also usually shrinks up the most. So here I went "discounting" folks for having long hair, when...maybe I shouldn't have, ya know? I never walked up to anyone and said "hey, pull your hair -- lemme see what you workin with".

And I've seen TONS of those women (and men) with long, long, long, to the floor locs. So I really can't say that only the lighter skinned/looser textured/whatever other adjective people's hair will grow. Maybe if we had some (r)evolution where people realized better hair care and techniques we'd see something different.

I mean I can only think about some of the stuff I was told when I wanted to go natural - that I have to be careful cuz I might have that "slave hair". Really??!! Peer pressure alone might have made some of those women make poorer hair choices.

I agree, one of my very good friends is all natural and she has hair down to her shoulder/almost the end of her neck in braids. If she wore it outside, people would discount her for having short hair, but if she pulls it, its waistlength! Shrinkage does not help when it comes to misconceptions about black hair, people only believe what they can physically see, and what they see is short hair, even though it might be just scrunched up

 

[trenise]

I come from a family with several racial mixtures (on my mother's side), and yes I have cousins that are 3/4 white and have longer, thick hair that grows fast even from a short ear bob. Oddly enough I have another cousin, who is the darkest member of my maternal side of the family and her hair is the longest silkiest of anybody's. She used to be able to sit on it, but now keeps it waist length. All of my cousins light, dark, white looking, had long thick hair. I'm the odd one out in that mine has always been short and kinky like my father's side. I do have a maternal aunt, however who is very fair skinned but her hair is kinky and never has been shoulder length. She wears half wigs. But anyway, from a young age I've seen different types and know that skin color is not a reliable indication of hair length or texture.

 

[Reinventing21]

Ummm....What about the super dark skinned people of India, the West Indies, Mexico who have hair down to their butt. I don't think actual skin color has anything to do with it, but I do believe racial mixtures lead to a type of hair & the type of hair will determine how easy it is to grow mega fast. Most of the people I named above have some sort of Asian ancestory. Also, when I say type of hair, I mean it is possible for any wave pattern to grow very long, but other factors (genetic) will affect the ease of growing the hair very fast.


P.S. I still think that the majority of women with type 4 hair can be WHOLE LOT longer than it is as is evidenced on this board (can't wait to be one).

 

[lilsparkle825]

my bff just said this ignorant crap last night...

our waiter had a ponytail that was somewhere around 3c/4a and she decided that he was NOT black and he MUST be from an island somewhere because black people don't have hair like that. i actually almost got mad.

 

[Neith]

People with looser textures USUALLY have an easier time with their hair.

That doesn't mean ALWAYS. That doesn't mean there there aren't A LOT of people with 3a, 3b or whatever hairtype that really have trouble growing their hair out.

It's the same... I've seen people with type 4 hair that use 2 products 2 times a month and have hair to their butt. Just because someone has type 4 hair doesn't automatically mean it's hard to grow either.

I don't know. I just feel that we don't know who we are. Just because I'm light and you're dark doesn't necessarily mean that I'm less black than you.

Just because someone is dark does not mean that they are more "pure" than anyone else. Your racial makeup can be nearly identical to someone who is light.

Even with my siblings, we all came from the same man and woman, but we are 4 distinctly different shades, from light to dark. Am I any less black than my darker siblings? Any more black than my lighter sibling?

I'm (kinda) light and I have never ever, ever been past shoulder length since I was a little girl. Yes, I have non black ancestry, but the majority of us do... even if it doesn't "show". I'm no different from anyone else, I really don't get that even with grown people who should know better... why there has to be a divide sometimes.

 

[HoneyDew]

I have not read all the comments in this thread, but I always wonder why there is still surprise at people's comments about hair, length, skin color, etc. It seems to be a norm for people to be ignorant, misinformed, unaware, opinionated without cause, etc about subjects on physical appearance and other factors. It does not surprise or matter to me anymore.

 

[Neith]

I have not read all the comments in this thread, but I always wonder why there is still surprise at people's comments about hair, length, skin color, etc. It seems to be a norm for people to be ignorant, misinformed, unaware, opinionated without cause, etc about subjects on physical appearance and other factors. It does not surprise or matter to me anymore.

I agree... it doesn't surprise me. Nothing about race/color does.

However, it does matter. I still care. It's sad to me.

 

[HoneyDew]

I agree... it doesn't surprise me. Nothing about race/color does.

However, it does matter. I still care. It's sad to me.

I tend to care less about things that I don't think will ever change. I just concentrate on teaching my son how to think about life and about people and reminding myself of my own feelings about it. I can correct the thinking of every one person that says something that I feel is backwards, inappropriate, ignorant, etc, but life is too short for me to even try.