OMG! Light-skinned & have long hair dosen't count?!

[kblc06]

I know this sentiment all too well. As a matter of fact, I just had an episode similar to this today (mind you I had a wash n go w/braids in the front pinned up in a clip so you couldn't really see the nappyness that lied beneath)

*I'm on the elevator going to a class at school and me and 2 female cafeteria workers are chit chatting

Lady 1: You sure have some pretty hair, are you mixed with something
Me: No
Lady 1: You're BLACK? (now mind you I have obvious cornrows on the front of my hair, on top of the brown skin, and generous lips and nose )
Me: *Nods* yes
Lady 2: You have the type of hair that look like it only needs some grease and water. Not this nappy **** that needs a perm and a hotcomb
Me: No one ever truly NEEDS chemicals or heat in their hair

To be honest this situation has happened on numerous occasions and it never makes me any less uncomfortable, especially when fellow blacks make self-deprecating remarks about themselves in the above scenario. I just wish there was a black self-esteem switch that we could collectively flip on

 

[Irresistible]

I was hanging with my girl's friends, (not my homies) this weekend, and I was online at LHCF. And I was explaining what it is we do here, give advice, etc. And I was told that light-skinned girls and/or mixed girls opinions & regimines don't count because they are mixed and already have naturally long hair. OMG! I replied "are you serious?" What about the hard work, etc that went in getting and maintaining long hair doesn't count regardless if they are mixed?" They responded NO! They even proceeded to say my hair grows so fast because my mom is 1/2 white. I just fell out laughing because one of the girls herself is mixed with short hair. I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

all I can do is laugh, seriously!

lol@ where is her long hair

 

[Blaque*Angel]

lol at where is her long hair

something similar happened when i joined....

when they see your progress,they will be asking for this website

 

[Neith]

You were actually surprised at that nonsense?

People generally have some very messed up views about race. No matter what racial background they are.

No one has the power to surprise me anymore about that subject

People have said things like that to me because I'm lightish (I'm not even that light ), but I'm not even mixed.

I usually don't even say anything to them. You know, they say ignorance is bliss. I don't have the time or energy to school everyone I run across one on one, I wish I did.

 

[ajacks]

I'm not the least bit surprised that people have this stereotype. When I was natural I used to hear comments like that all the time and I'm not even close to being light-skinned.

 

[hopeful]

I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

Too funny.

 

[Evazhair]

Believe it or not, I never believed skin color or racial mixture determined the length of hair. I grew up around quite a few dark-skinned girls who had long hair (BSL+).

I had to thank you again. Me too. The whole "Black women don't have long hair thing bugs me out," because I have known the opposite to be true all my life!

 

[jerjer29]

when i was trying to show my sister what natural hair can look like, i could not show her any women's hair who were light skinned or even a little bit exotic looking because she'd give the excuse 'oh shes mixed with something'. lmao and she even said one girl i showed her was mixed with something and i just stared at her because my sister was just as light as the girl i was showing her a pic of. SMH, it's a shame. I seriously can't take people and the 'good' hair and 'bad' hair talks, because i swear i was ready to slap my sister over calling my niece's hair 'bad'. Like really..what kind of mess is that to say that your daughter is inferior to someone with loose curls or pin straight hair? Let me stop, because i'm about to make myself angry.

 

[MizAvalon]

Yes, people are stupid.

I even see crap here sometimes from people who only want to hear about your experience if your hair was shot to hell and now it isn't. Oh, just because a person has never screwed their hair up beyond recognition, their opinion doesn't matter?

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I understand and hate that!! I'm high yellow (but both my parents are black). I was with my SO and his son having a nice conversation with a girl about my natural hair and afro. One of the girls friends jumps in talking about how going natural meant spending so much money on detangler and takes so much time to detangle. I told her it takes me all of 10 minutes and I've never bought detangler and she whispers to the girl "see she doesn't count because she's not black-black) I just smiled at her ignorance politely corrected her and ended the conversation.

 

[MizAvalon]

One of the great things about being darkskinned with "long" hair is that I am able to shut down hair sterotypes on first sight!

Folks just stare.

Kind of glorious actually.

 

[Forever in Bloom]

One of the great things about being darkskinned with "long" hair is that I am able to shut down hair sterotypes on first sight!

Folks just stare.

Kind of glorious actually.

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Why is she busted?

 

[MizAvalon]

Why is she busted?

I'm confused too!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I was hanging with my girl's friends, (not my homies) this weekend, and I was online at LHCF. And I was explaining what it is we do here, give advice, etc. And I was told that light-skinned girls and/or mixed girls opinions & regimines don't count because they are mixed and already have naturally long hair. OMG! I replied "are you serious?" What about the hard work, etc that went in getting and maintaining long hair doesn't count regardless if they are mixed?" They responded NO! They even proceeded to say my hair grows so fast because my mom is 1/2 white. I just fell out laughing because one of the girls herself is mixed with short hair. I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

Bermuda, your comeback retort was great but some things are nice to share with your close ones; LHCF needs to be YOUR PLACE...it's a place which is found when it's needed.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

All this stuff is crazy to me. I listen to some of the things people talk about on here and I can't believe it. The high school I went to pretty much half the girls were natural and half relaxed. Alot of people had long hair regardless of being light skin or dark skin relaxed or natural. Matter of fact I can think of 6 girls off the top of my head who had the longest hair in my school(ranging from mid back- to hip length). 5 of them were dark skin 1 light skin. 3 of them were relaxed and three were natural(hair type ranging from 3a to 4b. The darkest girl had the 3a hair). I don't see how any of it has to do with coloring of ones skin. If you would have asked me back when I was in high school who had the easiest time growing hair I would say dark skin. Because where I live the darker people seemes to have looser hair texture and darker stronger hair. I don't know why that was. Dh said it was something in the water

 

[Neith]

All this stuff is crazy to me. I listen to some of the things people talk about on here and I can't believe it. The high school I went to pretty much half the girls were natural and half relaxed. Alot of people had long hair regardless of being light skin or dark skin relaxed or natural. Matter of fact I can think of 6 girls off the top of my head who had the longest hair in my school(ranging from mid back- to hip length). 5 of them were dark skin 1 light skin. 3 of them were relaxed and three were natural(hair type ranging from 3a to 4b. The darkest girl had the 3a hair). I don't see how any of it has to do with coloring of ones skin. If you would have asked me back when I was in high school who had the easiest time growing hair I would say dark skin. Because where I live the darker people seemes to have looser hair texture and darker stronger hair. I don't know why that was. Dh said it was something in the water

Where did you grow up? Just curious...

I grew up in NYC (Brooklyn) and while there were always a handful of black girls with hair that was APL to MBL... it was always just a couple. 2 or 3

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

Where did you grow up? Just curious...

I grew up in NYC (Brooklyn) and while there were always a handful of black girls with hair that was APL to MBL... it was always just a couple. 2 or 3

a small town like 40 minutes from montgomery, Alabama. Thats as much as I can tell you because Im paranoig like that .

Do yall want me to whip my year book out and take pics with my camera phone cuz I will

 

[LongCurlyLocks]

I hear this a lot too and I am mixed-somewhat. Mostly Black but some cream and red man too. But for the last few years I've been mistaken for a Latina!!! Went to Puerto Rico this past May and nobody gave me a second look-till I opened my mouth. But I get alot of this when folks compliment my hair. It usually goes something like 'Oh your hair is pretty are you mixed?' Then I just say what I said above. If they want to believe my hair is this way because I my background I let them. I don't have time to 'splain to dum dums-I will pick and choose my battles. But I am quick to tell them that perms and being lazy messed up my hair-that it was longer- so they can know that despite it all if you don't take care of your hair it will fall out. But they will believe what they want till they know better. Some are still piling petroleum based products and gel on their hair everyday and only washing that sh!t one a month. With those actions of course they're going to think that way.

 

[Neith]

a small town like 40 minutes from montgomery, Alabama. Thats as much as I can tell you because Im paranoig like that .

Do yall want me to whip my year book out and take pics with my camera phone cuz I will

That's good enough. I was just curious. I wasn't going to try and pop in the neighborhood knocking on your door looking for the special hair growing water. lol

Now you know I want to see those pictures. jk

 

[Stepiphanie]

I'm afraid that ignorance may never go away unfortunately. I'm glad you shot them down though bermudabeauty! I remember when my hair was long, so many random people coming up to me asking me if I was mixed? who does that?

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

That's good enough. I was just curious. I wasn't going to try and pop in the neighborhood knocking on your door looking for the special hair growing water. lol

Now you know I want to see those pictures. jk

I mean I saw this happening a little when we were younger(in grade school) the lighter folks hair got brushed off if it was long ,but hair really wasn't that big of an issue as it is on here. And I don't remember it being like School Daze either.

 

[Neith]

I mean I saw this happening a little when we were younger(in grade school) the lighter folks hair got brushed off if it was long ,but hair really wasn't that big of an issue as it is on here. And I don't remember it being like School Daze either.

Nah, it wasn't like school daze for me either

Really, I wasn't aware of differences within the black community. My whole family ranges from very dark to pretty light. My siblings are dark, medium and light. My dark brother had a light baby, my light brother had a dark baby.

I really never thought of lightskin as less black than darkskin... it's just a genetic fluke, a random coupling if genes. My mother also did not raise me to think any other way.

I never really knew people thought that way until I got older and noticed people say stupid ish like what the OP posted.

 

[ladylibra]

I was hanging with my girl's friends, (not my homies) this weekend, and I was online at LHCF. And I was explaining what it is we do here, give advice, etc. And I was told that light-skinned girls and/or mixed girls opinions & regimines don't count because they are mixed and already have naturally long hair. OMG! I replied "are you serious?" What about the hard work, etc that went in getting and maintaining long hair doesn't count regardless if they are mixed?" They responded NO! They even proceeded to say my hair grows so fast because my mom is 1/2 white. I just fell out laughing because one of the girls herself is mixed with short hair. I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

yes, they are mad that you challenged their unwavering ignorance. good reply though, something i woulda said

let somebody call me mixed and see what happens...

 

[MissRissa]

honestly, thats why I am a little hesistant to give anyone advice nowadays. i tried to put my friend up on some simple stuff. Deep conditioning, not using all those gels, spritzes, and hair spray with all that alcohol in it, and trying to stretch her relaxers once she finds some products/methods that help with taming her new growth. i didn't even go deep into natural products, co washing, growth aids, etc. I mean her hair is super dry so i felt the first two suggestions were kinda common sense but she just completely dismissed me. After that happened about 5 more times from other people, i said bump it.

my hair was always longer as a kid because of basically good hair practices. I mean they weren't the best but considering the knowledge we were working with, they were pretty good. my moma almost always kept my conditioner on for about 10 minutes. grant it, it usually wasn't on purpose but because she was doing 50-11 things at once. of course she always used a big comb to try and comb through my hair, thats also kinda common sense. I didn't get a relaxer until i was 16. even though alot of these practices are looked down upon, my moma used to use the good old water and grease method which was essentially moisturizing my hair and then locking that moisture in. mind you, the products werent great but they did the job. point is my moma put care into my hair. and i do now. so saying i actually have hair on my head cause imma lite brite is an insult. im not even one of those super fast growers. i get between 1/4 and 1/2 an inch per month.

and im sorry but that type of thinking as an adult in 2008 is just not ok. i can see as a child, based on your personal experiences, you can see a correlation but as an adult and learning basics over the years, come on now. there are plenty of lightskinned folks without long hair, there are plenty of lightskinned folks that dont have 3anything type hair, there are also plenty of multi racial children with a parent not caring for their hair well because they dont know any better and its super dry looking and all broken off, so um, thats a no go.

dag i just kinda went on a rant, my fault. i just dont like being discredited cause of bs.

 

[wheezy807]

I was hanging with my girl's friends, (not my homies) this weekend, and I was online at LHCF. And I was explaining what it is we do here, give advice, etc. And I was told that light-skinned girls and/or mixed girls opinions & regimines don't count because they are mixed and already have naturally long hair. OMG! I replied "are you serious?" What about the hard work, etc that went in getting and maintaining long hair doesn't count regardless if they are mixed?" They responded NO! They even proceeded to say my hair grows so fast because my mom is 1/2 white. I just fell out laughing because one of the girls herself is mixed with short hair. I asked her your mixed, where is your long hair at? She got mad. Some people are so stuuuuupid!

GOOD, lol! I hope she shut up real quick!

 

[apemay1969]

well I can't blame her. People had me thinking the same thing up untill I started learning about haircare online instead of taking advice from stylists and women in my family.

My 11 yo daughter, bearer of the infamous fan ponytail and raggedy swoop bangs, thinks everyone with long hair - shoulder length or longer - is mixed or hispanic. She say "Well, of course her hair is long, she's mixed." I should tell my daughter "Dumbo chick, look at your picture in my avatar." and thump her in the forehead. Her hair was mid-back stretched at 3 years old.

Closed Mind Bandit (CMB) strikes again!

 

[apemay1969]

In my family, they used to call me and my brother 'wasted yella' because we were both light with short nappy hair. Shoot, my brother looks like Justin Timberlake with a Fresh Prince twist to him. My hair was red, his was dark blond and both were type 4a, at least. Our great grandmother was mixed with Cree and black/white but that was way back there and didn't affect our hair. Our sister, different dad, used to be called Blacula at school because she was so dark. She was Rudy Huxtable with the big twists. She got to use the big ball barrettes, while I got the little bald head girl barrettes.

We obviously threw everybody for a loop. The crazy thing was that I wanted her hair and she wanted my skin color. We folks have self hatred down to a science.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Some lines of thinking never go away.

There are those that still think blacks can't get skin cancer.

This topic is no different. It's not stupid. It's ignorant.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

SMH.

My mom is white. My hair has looked way more F-ed up than most other black chicks EVA has. There are lots of mixed girls whose hair is looking on the regular. (And don't even fix your face to ask me for pics of my hair looking crazy.)

It ticks me off to think that people will discount all the work I put into my hair just cuz I'm mixed!