Okay. I'm about to go get my hair done, and I'm SCURRED!!!

[Ms_Twana]

Okay. I have been wanting to go to a professional to get my hair straightened. I talked to a stylist at the JCPenney salon by my house. I also talked to a stylist at the Dillard's salon (which is an Aveda salon). So, today I decided to go see if one could get me in today. I went to the Dillard salon. Someone wrote down the names of all the stylists that do African American hair. She introduced me to one black stylist, and I didn't like her hair. I didn't like the cut, and her hair looked dry. I ended up talking to an Asian girl. I talked to her about getting some color. When I told her I am natural, she gave me a high five. She said she tries to convince her clients to go natural because it's better for your hair and she could get their hair just as straight with the flat iron. She also talked about how "our" hair needs moisture and what I should and shouldn't do color wise. Needless to say, I made an appointment with her. I go back and 4:30 and I am soooooo scared.

First, I'm scared to let anyone do my hair because not a lot of people know how to handle natural african american hair; and the fact that she's Asian doesn't help. So, I'm worried about that. Second, I'm scared about getting color. I mean, that fact that it's an Aveda salon makes me feel a little better. But, I know that I will have to nurish my hair more than I do now.

So, ANY advice that ANYONE could give would be great. I know that are alot of ladies that go to Aveda salons to get color. Or to salons like Dillards and JCPenney. So, PLEASE help ease some of my tension!!

 

[msa]

Well, maybe you should skip the color today. That way, you can get a feel for how well she does your hair before doing a permanent process.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Well, maybe you should skip the color today. That way, you can get a feel for how well she does your hair before doing a permanent process.

Yeah. She said we can look at some swatches and if I decide to color great. If not, she would just shampoo and flat iron. So, she's not adding any pressure at all.

I also asked her if she blow dries wet, and she said she does. She said she uses a round brush and blow dries wet to get the hair and roots as straight as possible. I asked if I could sit under the dry first, and she said yeah. So, that made me feel better, too.

 

[SouthernTease]

I say... when in doubt... DON'T
if I were you I would wait until I saw a girl's who hair
I really liked and ask her who does it for her...
you're already half way there my being a member of LHCF.

My advice is DO NOT GO! I'm probably too late though... right.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I went to an Aveda Institute salon (school) in NYC a few weeks ago and it was not the best experience. I posted a review.

However, the woman that did my hair (African American) is not an indication of all Aveda graduates. The other 2 stylist that helped her with my hair seemed to understand my texture and hair needs. My stylist used a paddle brush to blow me out (before flat ironing) but she did it in such a way that I thought she didn't even know how to blowdry.

The fact that your potential Asian stylist is going to use a round brush is a good start. I would not get color on a first trip.

 

[Ms_Twana]

I say... when in doubt... DON'T
if I were you I would wait until I saw a girl's who hair
I really liked and ask her who does it for her...
you're already half way there my being a member of LHCF.

My advice is DO NOT GO! I'm probably too late though... right.

No, you're not too late. The only thing with seeing someone whose hair I like is that more than likely, I'm not going to find a natural with 4a hair who doesn't straighten on a regular basis. It's either going to be someone with a relaxer, or someone who doesn't have a relaxer but straightens like every two weeks.

 

[Kay.Dee]

I say go

If she starts to do anything you disagree with, inform her that you will not be needing her duties. You'll probably always going to have doubts when you are trying out a new stylist.

 

[Ms_Twana]

The fact that your potential Asian stylist is going to use a round brush is a good start. I would not get color on a first trip.

Yeah, I like the fact that she uses a round brush. And I probably won't do the color today. I'll just see how well she straightens.

I say go

You'll probably always going to have doubts when you are trying out a new stylist.

Yeah, probably. I was afraid to go to the black stylists too because there are so many of them that only care about style, and not health. And a lot of black stylists only know how to handle relaxed hair, or natural hair texture that has been altered due to regular heat use. So, I think I would be scared for anyone other than me doing my hair.

 

[CurlyMoo]

DON'T DO IT!

 

[Kay.Dee]

Yeah, I like the fact that she uses a round brush. And I probably won't do the color today. I'll just see how well she straightens.



Yeah, probably. I was afraid to go to the black stylists too because there are so many of them that only care about style, and not health. And a lot of black stylists only know how to handle relaxed hair, or natural hair texture that has been altered due to regular heat use. So, I think I would be scared for anyone other than me doing my hair.

I know! I'm scared to because I'm going to start looking for someone to straighten my hair for job interviews next year.

Just the fact that she was happy that you were natural and was fine with you recommending sitting under the dryer speaks volumes to me. The ones I've dealt with get attitudes if you suggest how to handle your own hair. One stylist was trying to comb through my hair like it wasn't attached to my head at all. I know it's nappy but can you cut me a break!?

 

[Ms_Twana]

DON'T DO IT!

Noooo!!! I didn't expect anyone to tell me not to go. Ya'll are making me even more scared now!!!

For those that are saying don't go, what are suggesting instead? Should I just not go to a professional to get my hair straightened?? Or are you saying don't go because I'm scared??

 

[Neith]

I think you should give her a try. I agree with not doing color at first, but that's the case with ANY stylist.

She seems knowledgeable and very respectful. She listens well too.

Knowledge and talent has nothing to do with skin color or eye shape

 

[Ms_Twana]

I know! I'm scared to because I'm going to start looking for someone to straighten my hair for job interviews next year.

Just the fact that she was happy that you were natural and was fine with you recommending sitting under the dryer speaks volumes to me. The ones I've dealt with get attitudes if you suggest how to handle your own hair. One stylist was trying to comb through my hair like it wasn't attached to my head at all. I know it's nappy but can you cut me a break!?

at the bolded.

See, all that stuff impressed me too. Especially when she talked about the moisture. The stylist that I talked to at JCPenney said she straightens natural hair all the time. I thought, "okay. I may have to give her a try." I was telling her about how when I straighten, my hair just goes POOF. Then she said the unthinkable. She said that I shouldn't use moisturizing shampoo as often, and that will help with the poof. I thought to myself, "Is she NUTS?" I am not going to moisturize my hair LESS in order to reduce POOF. And isn't the poof caused because your hair doesn't have enough moisture in the first place???

 

[Ms_Twana]

She seems knowledgeable and very respectful. She listens well too.[/FONT]

Knowledge and talent has nothing to do with skin color or eye shape

at the bolded. I just haven't had luck finding anyone non-black that could do African American hair. But, she really impressed me when I started talking to her. ETA: And I would hate to choose a black stylist just because she's black. So, when she impressed me, I decided to go with her.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Noooo!!! I didn't expect anyone to tell me not to go. Ya'll are making me even more scared now!!!

For those that are saying don't go, what are suggesting instead? Should I just not go to a professional to get my hair straightened?? Or are you saying don't go because I'm scared??

The reason I say, "DON'T DO IT!" is because you are already showing signs of fear, anxiety and uncertainy. You should be confident, know what you want and who you want it from. I say ask yourself do you really want to relax? You can't go back and will have to either cut it out or let it grow out and that may take years. Are you not happy with flat ironing? Why do you want to relax?

Do more research with the hairdressers ask them questions about natural hair just to get an idea as to where their heads are. No pun intended. DO NOT color your hair till after you have relaxed and several weeks after. Because your hair would have already been through a process so you don't want to do to much to it too soon. Ask the hairdressers how often do they suggest a trim. If they say every 6-10 weeks, ditch them because they don't realize that you would be cutting off all of your new growth before you had a chance to see it. And these people tend to be difficult and fight you even when YOU are paying THEM! Find a hairdresser who only wants to trim when they either see damage or is trying to maintain a style. Also find someone who wants to see your hair thrive and actually cares about the condition it's in. Not someone who is out to just profit off of you. I.E. the Egyptian salons. They may be quick but they show no concern for our hair and don't have the courtesy to speak the English language to be able to communicate with us.

If the Asain lady will do right by you then I say go with her. I have had too many ignorant experiences with Black hairdressers to believe that we are the only ones who know how to take care of our hair. If she comes off as a know-it-all trying to educated the dump black girl, ditch her too! I have run into so many people of other races that treat me as if I don't know that my hair needs moisture. LAWD! They read a book and now they are an authority.

What's important is that YOU find what is right for YOU! Remember it is your hair and don't be afraid to ask questions and demand what you want and don't tip anyone who gives you subpar results! Now go take on the day!

 

[Ms_Twana]

I say ask yourself do you really want to relax? You can't go back and will have to either cut it out or let it grow out and that may take years. Are you not happy with flat ironing? Why do you want to relax?

GIRL, I AIN'T GETTING A RELAXER!!!! I just want some color and to get it straightened. I won't do the color though. So, she's just going to shampoo and straighten.

Okay, let me go read the rest of your post now!!!

 

[CurlyMoo]

GIRL, I AIN'T GETTING A RELAXER!!!! I just want some color and to get it straightened. I won't do the color though. So, she's just going to shampoo and straighten.

Okay, let me go read the rest of your post now!!!

Oh well, that's a relief. Now we're talkin'!

 

[Ms_Twana]

Okay yeah, she got me!!!!!!!

She didn't know WHAT the heck she was doing. I had to tell her how to detangle. She started trying to blowdry my hair before she detangled completely. It was a mess. I finally finished detangling myself, put my hair in a ponytail, paid $34.50 , and got the hell up out of there.

The entire time she was talking about how she LOVES doing ethnic hair, and how she prefers that over white hair. She got me. That's all I can say.

I came home and washed out all the products she put in my hair. Now I'm sitting under the dryer (attempting a steam treatment), trying to apologize to my hair.

This whole experience is really making me want to relax again though. As my fingers were beginning to hurt from twisting the sections that I wash and detangle my hair in, I thought that just maybe I've had enough of being natural. It's soooo time consuming to style it. If I just do a puff, it becomes a tangled mess, and it's time consuming to fix. Then I thought about how if I were relaxed, I would have been able to easily detangle my hair and throw it in a ponytail in order to leave. But noooooo.....it took me like 30 minutes to get it to wear I could actually put it in a ponytail.

UGH!!! I'm just so irritated right now. I just don't want to have to work so hard to do my hair. I can't afford to pay someone to straighten it every two weeks. And with the way I feel now, I don't want to take the time to do it myself, for it to poof before I even finish.

I just don't know. I feel like crying.

 

[glam-]

Aww, don't make any hasty decisions about relaxing- I'm sorry your visit turned out like that.

I understand what you're feeling though. The weather is getting cooler, so I plan to try straightening my own hair tomorrow. And I dread how much work it is going to be- I know I catch myself thinking "If I were relaxed, I could easily rollerset it or something" but then I think about how long it would take to grow it back out.

You did the right thing trusting your instincts- and getting out of that salon before there was any damage done though

 

[Cheleigh]

For one--
I got my hair color done at an Aveda Institute a few weeks ago. I really like my color, and I haven't seen any additional damage to my hair at all. I will be going back for color by Aveda (institute or salon). The girl couldn't style worth a darn, but I didn't expect her to--she was a student, and she was Irish. She'd never worked with natural kinky hair, so I just let her attempt to do something (which didn't work out). She did my make-up for free though.

On the other issue--I can't help. I have the same hairtype as you, and it took me no time at all to slap my hair into a pony after her styling attempt (she had my hair looking like I had a curl/perm/wave kit on it). Now, I did deep condition and detangle my hair prior to my appointment because I figured that going into a school with a head full of tangled 4a hair to get a color was a bad idea on several levels.

Actually, I had the opposite experience from you--when she was applying the color, she had to part all through my hair and apply with a brush "just like" I was getting a relaxer retouch. Because it was permanent color, it was white initially, and it smelled a bit chemically. I was sitting there, swearing that I could feel a little tingle, and thinking "there is no way in *ell I'd go back to this every 10 weeks."

 

[Kay.Dee]

Okay yeah, she got me!!!!!!!

She didn't know WHAT the heck she was doing. I had to tell her how to detangle. She started trying to blowdry my hair before she detangled completely. It was a mess. I finally finished detangling myself, put my hair in a ponytail, paid $34.50 , and got the hell up out of there.

The entire time she was talking about how she LOVES doing ethnic hair, and how she prefers that over white hair. She got me. That's all I can say.

I came home and washed out all the products she put in my hair. Now I'm sitting under the dryer (attempting a steam treatment), trying to apologize to my hair.

This whole experience is really making me want to relax again though. As my fingers were beginning to hurt from twisting the sections that I wash and detangle my hair in, I thought that just maybe I've had enough of being natural. It's soooo time consuming to style it. If I just do a puff, it becomes a tangled mess, and it's time consuming to fix. Then I thought about how if I were relaxed, I would have been able to easily detangle my hair and throw it in a ponytail in order to leave. But noooooo.....it took me like 30 minutes to get it to wear I could actually put it in a ponytail.

UGH!!! I'm just so irritated right now. I just don't want to have to work so hard to do my hair. I can't afford to pay someone to straighten it every two weeks. And with the way I feel now, I don't want to take the time to do it myself, for it to poof before I even finish.

I just don't know. I feel like crying.

I'm sorry! :hugs: At least you stopped her before she damaged your hair. There are still plenty of stylists to try, have you looked into a natural hair salon?
Don't be quick to relax again, you just had a frustrating day.

 

[SouthernTease]

I still say don't do it... try doing it yourself.
With no reference point, you can't know her skills
maybe you're into taking risks like that...
from my own experience I have gone to JCPennys, and Aveda salons
because I was into stylists hopping and giving them the benefit of the doubt
because at that time I didn't feel like doing my own hair but
it has never worked out for me
Many LHCFers are 4As that straighten on a weekly-bi weekly basis
you should pick up tips from them or like I mentioned before
find a LHCFer in your area or someone who has lived in your area
and ask them who does their hair

 

[LaReyna756]

Aren't you glad you did not get the color? You did the right thing. When I was trying to find a stylist, before I'd let anyone do a chemical service, I would first let them give me a shampoo only.

I would wait awhile before making the decision to relax again though. Maybe someone can suggest someone in your area that you can go to.

 

[SoAnxious12]

i'm with southern tease on this one! Do you live in the md area? I know of two pretty good stylists (one more care oriented, the other all about the swang and bounce!)

Or if you're not in my area, try getting on youtube and searching through some fotkis like patchouli(i can't quite remember how to spell the name) or Pinkskates or NuMe... all are naturals that straighten often with amazing results. And try it yourself! With time and practice, you'll be a pro!

 

[Paradox]

I think you should go to her for a trial..do something simple, perhaps a blow out/rollerset. If she does that well then you can move on to more complicated things such as coloring your hair. Does she have a portfolio?

 

[Neith]

Now if you KNOW you can't do kinky hair, why act like you can? Sorry that happened to you

It just really sounded like she knew what she was talking about. You can't fully trust anyone for their word these days

There are some good stylists of other races out there that CAN do kinky hair, it's really too bad that you're having trouble finding a stylist regardless of race.

I hope you can find someone to do your hair right!

 

[hopeful]

(((((Ms_Twana))))

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

Don't give up though, be persistent and hopeful, you will eventually find someone who can give you a beautiful, straight, swinging, shiny flat-iron.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Now if you KNOW you can't do kinky hair, why act like you can?

It just really sounded like she knew what she was talking about. You can't fully trust anyone for their word these days

EXACTLY. I just can't figure out why she didn't say, "you know what, I'm sorry but I can't do your hair. It's more than I thought it was going to be."

I've had that before. I went to a white stylist because she could cut some FIERCE layers in some hair. A white girl at my job referred her. So I went, she cut my hair, then she said, "I'm going to let my co-worker style your hair because I don't know how." Then she politely sent me to the black stylist. Which was fine, because my layers were still FYE. I just appreciated her honesty. But THIS ONE!!! AND there were two black stylists in the shop. She could of easily just seen if they could do my hair instead. I know they were thinking, "dumb ***" as they were looking at me in her chair.

Yeah, she really fooled me when she was talking!!! She apparently knew what she was TALKING about, but not but she was DOING!!!

Lesson learned!!!