Ok so I did it, I joined eharmony

[sydwrites]

Alright after a little talk with myself, I decided to quit complaining about being by myself for so long and try do do something about it. I had been letting a deadbeat hang on for far too long, and I havent met any new good prospects. plus its cold outside and that pretty much means I go to work and come home so not going to meet any new guys that way. So I have been seeing the eharmony commercial all weekend and like they said its okay to look right? But after i filled out the looong questionaire and saw some matches i was like erplexed maybe i should try it for a little while. Since im still new to the whole online thing, i didnt even have profile pics ready, but i found a few pics but i still dont really want to show myself, I dont even show you guys. ive decided to do the match by match basis on the pics but a guy already closed(ended our non-existent relationship) a day after the match with no pics being the reason. What do you guys do? any other tips for an online dating newbie

 

[Duchesse]

I wish you good luck with that!

A couple of years ago I joined eharmony, but was never a paid member. I don't know about you, but the guys in my area ...I know I'm being completely superficial, but I did not see one attractive man. I'm like, how sucky is this..all the men who want a heartfelt, psychologically compatible relationship have to be a little (or way) off in the looks dept? I can take different and unique features...but dayum.

If you feel uncomfortable with a pic, maybe do a profile or slightly blurry pic. Its only fair IMO to include something visual about yourself.

I've heard good things about match.com. and have seen some nice looking menfolk. A friend of mine met her BF, a really great and nice guy of 4yrs on match. Another met this FOOIINNNEE (as in Boris Kudjoe) man on match...he turned out to be a bit cwazy however. Eharmony probably has nicer men in general, ones who are looking for something deep. I think several guys use match just to date around.

Good luck and do as much pre-screening as poss.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

Good luck with that. not to be negative, but I find that eharmony is not for black people!

 

[missty1029]

I wish you luck! Im thinking about it. Someone from my church met her husband on there. He is a very nice looking guy and a preacher. So anything is possible. I think you should do the picture because Im sure you want to see what he looks like!!! I know I do!!!

 

[TayMac]

No advice just wanted to say good luck and be careful.

 

[sydwrites]

Thanks guys, surprisingly there are black guys but then again i live in the dc area aka chocolate city. i went through and saw two days worth of matches before i signed up for real and i had about 15 to work with. some are kind of funny looking, a few were way too short, but there are a few prospects from the profiles a little less now that I can see pics(aint i nothin) but im being optimistic. i was reading more of the replies to bre bre's post and got inspired. I ended up showing my pic to three guys, im excited to see what happens!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Hey! I wish you ALL the luck. Perhaps send pics to the guys you are interested in if you don't feel comfortable with having them in your profile.

 

[sunnydaze]

Good luck!!! I don't know about the "not for black people" comment b/c I have know of two black marriages that started with meeting on eharmony.

 

[Valerie]

Good luck and I am sure you will meet someone!

 

[discobiscuits]

i did eharm a long time ago. i had good results in that there were plenty of black men. of course there are a lot more white men and you will get tons of them as matches unless you set the filter so that you only get matches with specific ethnicities.

i did not meet my match there but i made some friends and i still keep in touch with one or two.

i like that you don't have to have a pic and that you can set the level of communication before ppl can see ur pic.

just be warned, eharm is just like any other dating/matching site, you will meet a perv or two (hence the sexuality questions) only on eharm it is harder to weed them out cause they r good at deflecting detection.

you will do fine though. have fun and be careful if you meet someone in person. btw, one of the men i my church met his wife on eharm, their pic is one of the profile couples they use in the ads.

 

[january noir]

I am an ex-member of eHarmony. I did not find my dream man, but I think it's fine. I did meet one man that we eventually started to talk over the phone. Well, to make a long story short, this guy was a wack-a-doo. We were supposed to meet face-to-face, (he was from the MD area), but lucky for me, I called an end to our "getting to know one another." He was VERY controlling and stern (career navy). He was an accomplished, professional brother with a great job (HR Director of a school district) and church-going, but he was not for me. I could tell you stories, but this post would be VERY long!

Another thing I notices are thre are a lot of short men and if you like big and tall, you will not see a whole lot of those types. You might find it hard to find people close to your area so cast your net wide; don't be surprised that a really nice potential lives across the country!

I am glad you went for it, because though I was unsuccessful, it is a cool process and you will be excited to receive those notifications that let you know they have found a potential match! Good Luck!

 

[sydwrites]

Thanks you guys, I have set mine(race) to black or other right now, so i pretty much get all black guys. i see a few interesting types, but you are right noir I have seen quite a few shorter guys, which is not so good since im not short, but i was excited because i got more new matches today so thats three days in a row.

 

[CookieLAD]

Met my current BF on another site, not even one month after signing up. We've been dating over a year now.

Go for it and good luck!

 

[andrea]

Another thing I notices are thre are a lot of short men and if you like big and tall, you will not see a whole lot of those types. You might find it hard to find people close to your area so cast your net wide; don't be surprised that a really nice potential lives across the country!

That is so funny about the short comment.. I did eharmony for about 2 months last year when my on again and off again boyfriend were off.. We are still off but for some reason we are still holding on.. Its kinda like you think it has to be right but you are on the same page at different times.. anyway another day for that ..

Anyway I meet this really great guy.. But he is short.. He is like very accomplished, extremely nice, cute but he is sooo short.. Everytime we went out I felt like Jolly Green Giant.. I still talk to him as more of a friend.. while he is really in to me... For me there are no sparks.. I really think its because of his height.. Sometimes I think we can be (women) so shallow... The funny thing is since I started talking to him.. I notice all these couples where the women is taller.. Like Kimora when she was with Russell, etc.. anyway I really notice it all the time now.. I just dont feel comfortable with it yet. I love to wrap my arms around a guy and look up to him. It makes me feel dainty, very girly.. ok any I just thought that was funny... that you guys pointed that out