eHarmony - questions and a rant

[ixoyegodisgood]

I just recently signed up too. I was having the same problem with people who I would never want to be matched up with (too short, has kids, no education etc etc) So I went thru and erased everyone and I went back and became a lot more picky about my preferences. I mean very picky. They say not to be so picky because it will lessen your options but I like it so much better that way. I have been in communication with a few guys who I think are really interesting. It just sucks that I go days with out any new matches. But I guess a few REALLY GOOD matches is better than a million horrible matches.

I already did that and I am still being flexed matched. I just think that Online dating is just for when you look a certain way or are at a certain point in your life. Since neither apply for me, I will continue with what I was doing. I am just glad I didn't pay for that site.

 

[missjones]

Well I signed up for 3 months so we'll see how it goes.

I just closed the account




I'll stick with blacksingles.com

 

[PaleoChick]

I will not go back to eHarmony.com. Getting rejected once was enough for me.

 

[rayness]

I will not go back to eHarmony.com. Getting rejected once was enough for me.

Me too. I guess I was too picky with the questionaire.

 

[rayness]

I just closed the account




I'll stick with blacksingles.com

How is blacksingles? I tried Black People Meet and I actually met someone but he was not telling the truth about himself. I am talking to someone else but I can see it being a friendship though.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I will not go back to eHarmony.com. Getting rejected once was enough for me.

Yeah, I didn't like how guys closed communication with you for dumb reasons.

 

[rayness]

Yeah, I didn't like how guys closed communication with you for dumb reasons.

It happens on other sites too. I had one guy view my profile, send me a quick hi and when I respond to say hi back.... His crazy self replied and said he is not interested and to not contact him anymore. What tha????? He contacted me first! This was not on eharmony though.

 

[madamdot]

I know 2 match.com couples and one E-harmony couple. The eharmony couple met and married within the year while the match couples took longer.

I really think its like any other kind of dating where in the end its luck. It simply opens you up to people you may not usually cross paths with but its luck as to whether or not you get along.

Dont give up!

 

[missjones]

Blacksingles. com is ok. It seems to be a lot of older men.

I was on blackpeoplemeet.com but someone hacked into my account so I closed it

I had a lot of my matches on eHarmony close the match for "other"

 

[MusicandWine]

I'm gonna go ahead and say I think eharmony is a load of crap. I thought I was going crazy when I was a member there and received more "closed communication" replies than I could count within my first weekend on the site. Now I'm seeing a strange trend, other ladies are complaining the same thing happened to them. That's pretty lame and suspect of eharmony. I can't vouch for that terrible dating site AT ALL and I would advise those who are looking to e-date to look elsewhere if not for the sake of your dating future then for your own self esteem.

 

[anon123]

I was just coming in here to post this! I am in the UK and their adverts here state that 2% of newlyweds in the US met on eharmony. How true is that I wonder?

I don't know, but here's how they get at the numbers:

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2009/07/31/behind-the-number-of-eharmony-marriages/

and here's a somewhat more impartial discussion on a Wall Street Journal blog:
http://blogs.wsj.com/numbersguy/how-many-marriages-started-online-764/tab/article/

 

[BlackMarilyn]

i just signed up for free after reading this thread.

being approx 6ft tall, i put height as a major characteristic. tell me why these fools matching me with men 5'8 and 5'9??? steupsss. just for that, i dont want to pay to subscribe.

and i hate the "close communication" part. like there should be an option to quietly cancel matches or leave them to hang last in the list or something. or just x them off ur list without them even knowing.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

i just signed up for free after reading this thread.

being approx 6ft tall, i put height as a major characteristic. tell me why these fools matching me with men 5'8 and 5'9??? steupsss. just for that, i dont want to pay to subscribe.

and i hate the "close communication" part. like there should be an option to quietly cancel matches or leave them to hang last in the list or something. or just x them off ur list without them even knowing.

And there is no way to change, which just kills me. I know there are some tall women who dont care, but I believe that 99% of us do. The shortest guy I've gone out with was 5'7" and that is the absolute shortest I am willing to go without looking awkward.

 

[constance]

I met my DH through eHarmony. I found that *for me* it was more efficient to let men make the first contact. Closed contacts? Do not take it personally. Honestly. Though the point has been stressed, never underestimate the power of your profile photos--show yourself having fun, perhaps a shot of you outdoors or somewhere on vacation. A pp commented about looks--I'm no great beauty so I cannot say men are only looking for a certain type. (I was a member before flexible matching.) Also, I detest smoking and initially ranked it pretty high in my list of filters. Later on I revised it to include occasional smokers. Guess what? DH smokes but is trying to quit. I would have missed him entirely!

 

[nikkablue]

I tried e-harmony years ago, I can't quit remember but, there was something about it that I didn't like. Anyway, the year before last, I signed up at chemistry.com and met my so like 2-3 weeks later and we've been together ever since....

 

[MusicandWine]

I met my DH through eHarmony. I found that *for me* it was more efficient to let men make the first contact. Closed contacts? Do not take it personally. Honestly. Though the point has been stressed, never underestimate the power of your profile photos--show yourself having fun, perhaps a shot of you outdoors or somewhere on vacation. A pp commented about looks--I'm no great beauty so I cannot say men are only looking for a certain type. (I was a member before flexible matching.) Also, I detest smoking and initially ranked it pretty high in my list of filters. Later on I revised it to include occasional smokers. Guess what? DH smokes but is trying to quit. I would have missed him entirely!

It's awesome eharmony worked out for you.

However it is quite a difficult thing to not take personally a buttload of closed communications within a 2 day time period. To have a bunch of emails saying all these guys closed communication with me for "other" reasons was a bit strange. My photos were good choices and I think of myself as quite an attractive woman and person in general. It was just weird to me that I joined another lesser known dating site a short time after eharmony and was bombarded with messages AND met my husband within almost 2 months of joining... I don't know, maybe very particular men are members of eharmony.

I just think the whole reputation they try to project in their commercials of having dating down to some sort of science is pretty silly when their system is so restrictive and rude.

 

[TinyBlu]

I have tried e-Harmony twice with no luck. Maybe I am just too picky, but it was like they didn't adhere to my height is extremely important and physical appearance is extremely important. Yes, it is superficial, but they were sending me TROLLS. They also sent me matches with children... yet another NO NO for me.

I do think there is something to be said about someone who will pay for a membership (which isn't exactly cheap), but it seems like marriage minded and remotely attractive don't go hand in hand.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

How is blacksingles? I tried Black People Meet and I actually met someone but he was not telling the truth about himself. I am talking to someone else but I can see it being a friendship though.

Stay away from BPM. Nothing but players on there. It was flattering that I got a large number of guys, but most of them only looking for "casual dating," nothing long term.