"Of all the guys I'm dating, you're the cutest/funniest/smartest...."

[Glib Gurl]

So, I'm reading (and, somehow miraculously implementing) the book The Four Man Plan. While it's partially written tongue-in-cheek, the basic idea is that in order to find true love you need to date multiple men at the same time.

Now, what I found interesting is that the author (who is a comic, not a sociologist or therapist) said that on date #2, you should let the guy know that he's in competition for you and say something along the lines of "Of all the guys I'm dating, you're the cutest/funniest/smartest...."



While I get the idea of dating more than one person at a time, I don't feel like you have to put it up in somebody's face like that. I mean, if some guy said to me, "Of all the girls I'm dating, you're the [fill-in-the-blank]-est...." that would be a real turn off. I mean, I think it's just assumed (at least by guys) that unless you become exclusive then you're dating other people . . . why throw it out there like that?

What do y'all think of this strategy?

(Either way, I'm not implementing it because I just think it's bad manners . . . but still interested in what you all have to say.)

 

[bunnie82]

I think that could totally backfire...."well damn....since she's dating other people, maybe i should too..."

 

[rara171]

i did it once, sort of. i told him he was in his own category, not winning or losing. he said "i need to be in the lead". we are still dating and the other guys are out of the picture. i think men like to know the woman they are with is sought after.

telling them could be good, but u need to know the man and the situation before doing so

 

[Glib Gurl]

 

[moda]

i did it once, sort of. i told him he was in his own category, not winning or losing. he said "i need to be in the lead". we are still dating and the other guys are out of the picture. i think men like to know the woman they are with is sought after.

telling them could be good, but u need to know the man and the situation before doing so

I agree with this.

I was never blatant about having options but if a guy asked me to do something and I already had plans I'd tell them "I have plans" which I think lets them know because if I was doing a girls night out etc.. I would be saying that vs. "I have plans"

I would never tell a guy "off all the guys I am dating........" unless I wanted that to be our last date.

 

[CurliDiva]

I think it really is about you and that GUY, but what anyone else you're dating is doing.

After emailing for one1 week, this guy on Match wanted me to tell him about the "other guys" I liked. I just turn it around on him and said "do you really want "us" to talk about "our" experiences with other people?"

No way, was I going stroke his ego by giving him any clue about where he stood in comparison. Until you are exclusive, it is none of his business.

Even if you are sitting at home, eating ice cream on a Saturday....NEVER tell this to a guy.

Men like the chase, they want to feel like you are a PRIZE that they won over....don't serve your "goodies" up on a silver platter too easy or soon!

 

[*5+5]

I'm currently seeing a few guys and I’m only into one yet he believes I’m still talking to other people which is true but I deny, deny, deny. Mainly, b/c he is the only guy that I have any feelings for, that should count as he’s the only one right?

The other guys I’m seeing I would never offer up that information to or try to drum on more interest or competition by telling them I’m dating other people.

Just bad dating etiquette in my opinion, they are able to assume what they want but I will not be revealing my hand.

 

[Windsy]

When I was multi-dating I didn't volunteer that information but certainly was honest when asked.

 

[Katherina]

I do not do this. I feel like when a guy looks at me and talks to me he should know that I'm sought after (or that I should be sought after if I'm not). I shouldn't have to tell him straight up - "Other dudes want me, Playa." He should see it. If he can't see it with his own eyes, then.... next.