Od comment from a pregnant friend - wants a boy over hair issues?

[Neith]

I personally don't think that hair is enough of an issue for me not to want a daughter.

Really, is the extra work with hair more important than the life you would be bringing into this world?

I would bet... when you see that baby that you've been carrying for 9 months and realize just how much you love her, you'd realize that she is WAY more than an extra head of hair.

 

[NikStarrr]

I said the same thing when I was pregnant. I didn't want to deal with "doing hair"--I spend enough time on my own. lol God blessed me with a boy, too. Plus, we have a lot of boys in the family, and really, that's what I have the most experience with.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Personally, I look forward to having a daughter and teaching her about her hair. Hair is also not enough of an issue for me not to want a daughter.

 

[melissa-bee]

I understand that she may not want to deal with loads of hair, but her child could be born with a disability or something uncommon where she would have to spend 24 hours a day with the child, even when the child is an adult.
But at the end of the day you lot were just having a informal converstion so i'm not gonna go deep, and you're her friend so she's gonna say what's on her mind

 

[Anew]

I said the same thing with my 2nd pregnancy and my wish was granted. My oldest is a girl, natural and I did not want to deal with 3 heads of thick hair, lol...

 

[Anew]

Oh wait, I think some are taking this more serious than it actually is. Just started reading comments. Of course as a mother all you really want is a healthy baby, but most parents do say they want a particular sex. It doesn't mean that if you get a boy when you want a girl you'll love your child any less or vice versa. Its not that serious..

 

[MD_Lady]

Her comment is the flip side of women who want a daughter so they can dress her up and style her hair. Neither P.O.V. is my style, but people have different opinions I guess.

 

[Kerryann]

she did not mean anything by that statement. When i found out i was having a girl i was like what the hell how am i going to comb her hair i dont know how to comb hair oh boy.

Then i kept asking my friends with girls how the heck to comb hair and they said you will get it trust me. well thank god for always knowing how to braid but ladies i now have skills everywhere i go with my daughter they want to know who braids her hair and where can they go i laugh and say that its me then they compliment her all the time i do it oh yeah she is 3 now but the firts year i was just like jesus have mercy

 

[sms1022]

The comment doesn't sound odd to me, neither.

OP, two things stand out: 1) she ALREADY has a son, so this is her obvious comfort zone, and 2) she is not that excited about being pregnant again.

I'm pretty sure she would love her child regardless of the sex, but we all have different feelings and opinions about one over the other. Being a good friend, she probably assumed she could express her feelings about "hair drama" and of all people, you would know a bit of where she's coming from....

 

[SweetSpirit86]

I get what she's saying. I've got a little girl myself, and she's got some long hair on her. It's expensive, and time consuming having multiple girly heads in the house. That and people always want to tell you what to do with her hair. It's like, "did I ask you for your opinion?" Kind of goes back to the multiple topics we see on here about what's "appropriate" for a little girl's hair. A large consensus feels a mother isn't doing it right if she doesn't have 50-11 bobbles and barrettes on her head.

I want a little boy for my next one as well because I don't want to deal with anymore hair issues. However, that doesn't mean I won't love the next child if he turns out to be a she instead.

 

[MoMo]

I personally think that is an odd statement. Life/hair care does not need to be that complicated. You only make it more complicated yourself.

I do not agree that we make it more complicated ourselves. Having a tender scalp is something that happens naturally. I have two daughters and it breaks my heart to hear them cry when I am doing their hair. Sure, I could do a wash n go, but imagine trying to detangle all that hair after it's said and done. Many young girls of all ethncities suffer from "not wanting to get their hair combed".

 

[Neith]

Oh wait, I think some are taking this more serious than it actually is. Just started reading comments. Of course as a mother all you really want is a healthy baby, but most parents do say they want a particular sex. It doesn't mean that if you get a boy when you want a girl you'll love your child any less or vice versa. Its not that serious..

I was just sharing my perspective, I dunno if my post came off really serious or not. I'm not offended or anything like that.

I do think when you look at your new, healthy baby... hair doesn't matter as much

I think people don't even realize what they are saying sometimes because they are taking it lightheartedly. I don't think any normal person would REALLY think that the hair is more important than the actual child... but that is basically what is being implied in a way.

I know I'd be hurt if I found out my mother didn't want me just because of my hair. erplexed

but I look at things in weird ways sometimes. lol Don't mind me, peoples.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I don't think it's that serious. Having a boy is just different than having a girl. You have different issues with each...saying you don't want to deal with hair is like saying you don't want to deal with menstruation or deal with nocturnal emissions from boys (not trying to be disgusting, I'm just giving examples). I don't think anyone's saying they're going to send their baby back because they have the "wrong" gender.

 

[SND411]

I personally don't think that hair is enough of an issue for me not to want a daughter.

Really, is the extra work with hair more important than the life you would be bringing into this world?

I would bet... when you see that baby that you've been carrying for 9 months and realize just how much you love her, you'd realize that she is WAY more than an extra head of hair.

Seriously.....

 

[beans4reezy]

Oh wait, I think some are taking this more serious than it actually is. Just started reading comments. Of course as a mother all you really want is a healthy baby, but most parents do say they want a particular sex. It doesn't mean that if you get a boy when you want a girl you'll love your child any less or vice versa. Its not that serious..

Yes, it's called a preference, and most expectant mothers have one. This isn't to say that just because you have a daughter, you'll love her any less, but there are certain issues, ones that go beyond hair that some would rather avoid with a particular sex.

I know I can speak for myself and most mothers on this board when I say we fully understand, love, and respect bringing forth life, regardless of any boy or girl preference.

I'm getting the feeling that some of these comments seek to insinuate that just because a mother has a preferance, that she won't love either the same; which really isn't the case, its really not even that serious.

 

[turnergirl]

I have heard some of my friends who aren't DIYers with their own hair talk about not wanting a girl because they can't style hair and don't want to learn.

 

[mkd]

I think some people are taking the comment a little too seriously. JMO but I really don't think its that deep. I doubt that any parent would rather have a boy than a healthy baby. Its just a preference. I have one of each and I enjoy cutting my son's hair just as much as styling my daughter's hair.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Okay, I asked and it is similar to those in this thread that do not want to deal with girls in general, not just their hair.