Lost a friend over hair...

[Austro-Afrikana]

And the falling out isn't even over the actual hair issue...it escalated into other things...

 

[Mdmommy99]

I'm not even a type 2 or 3...I'm a 4a with 4b edges...

And I didn't come on too strong about haircare. As I have repeatedly said, I only reacted to her when she told me she NEEDED a relaxer and the whole thing of mixed race girls...I never even started the conversation.

Well I guess when you said:

"Over the next couple of years I tried to give her tips that only her sister seemed interested in, I tried to educate her that black hair can grow etc but it seemed to just all go in one ear and out the other; I kept having to repeat myself and tell her the same things"

That's what it sounded like to me.

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

Well I guess when you said:

"Over the next couple of years I tried to give her tips that only her sister seemed interested in, I tried to educate her that black hair can grow etc but it seemed to just all go in one ear and out the other; I kept having to repeat myself and tell her the same things"

That's what it sounded like to me.

I clarified in subsequent posts. That was a very vague outline of the situation.

 

[sheba1]

And the falling out isn't even over the actual hair issue...it escalated into other things...

You don't have to be the one who's wrong to be the one to reach out when it comes to family. I'm certain I would have reacted just as you did. After some time, however, you should open the door and apologize for your part in it escalating. All you have to do is open the door, it's up to her to walk through from there.

 

[ActionActress]

What if you applied this same logic to white people and wrinkles?

You are black and that you don't have as many wrinkles is normal for YOU. I am white and my skin is dry wrinkly and old looking because I am that.

Still a form of negative thinking and self-defeat?

Or, someone who comes from a long line of people who age well vs someone who doesn't. Still a form of negative thinking and self-defeat?

Maybe. But, it may also have some truth to it.


_________

Well, What I am saying is.... Yes anyone can grow hair long. And hair is not the same as skin and race.

I am going to keep it simple and leave it at hair. )

BLACK women are assuming....and incorrectly that they can't grow hair long. Growing hair is a natural process to everyone. It is the technique that many BLACK women miss out on.

So I would say this isn't necessarily the same as white people and race and aging.

ALL races grow hair...this topic is basically about misconceptions about growing BLACK hair. esp. when we all grow hair. The original poster simply wanted her to know that her ability (the other lady) has nothing to do with race but technique. But the other lady INCORRECTLY assumes she can't grow because she is not "mixed"(when we all are...so the race point is MOOT!). THIS is where the negative thinking and self-defeat thinking comes in. It is there because of misunderstandings.

AA

 

[Lovelylocs]

Well, What I am saying is.... Yes anyone can grow hair long. And hair is not the same as skin and race.

I am going to keep it simple and leave it at hair. )

BLACK women are assuming....and incorrectly that they can't grow hair long. Growing hair is a natural process to everyone. It is the technique that many BLACK women miss out on.

So I would say this isn't necessarily the same as white people and race and aging.

ALL races grow hair...this topic is basically about misconceptions about growing BLACK hair. esp. when we all grow hair. The original poster simply wanted her to know that her ability (the other lady) has nothing to do with race but technique. But the other lady INCORRECTLY assumes she can't grow because she is not "mixed"(when we all are...so the race point is MOOT!). THIS is where the negative thinking and self-defeat thinking comes in. It is there because of misunderstandings.

AA

This (minus the race is moot assertion) we can all agree on. I'm just saying that people have different perceptions of race and identity and that many black people have different views on hair. We shouldn't be too surprised when black people think that people with naturally straight or curly hair have an easier time than they do when it comes to hair. Some things are genetic. Some things are choice. People are not always sure which is which.

 

[Mystic]

All I know is, if a friend of mine and I fall out over hair, **sigh**, I wouldn't blame the friend at all but I would sure as hell be totally pissed at myself. Truly!