Nothing Is Working, I'm Calling It Quits, Please Help?

S

Sonye93

Active Member
Hello all, well I started my hair journey in May 2009 and I am roughly at the same darn length 8 months later. Not only that, but I don't think my hair is getting any healthier. Maybe I think so because its winter now and in the summer it was doing better. My ends always feel/look horrible even though all I do is protective style:perplexed. I trimmed my hair on Dec. 23 not only because I was in dire need of one but also because I wanted to try out the "moon thing" (cut your hair on a full moon according to calendar, and hair gets longer due to the pull of the moon). Yea.....that's not working out so well:nono:...My ends are still horrible, and I'm not sure if it's because of the bun I do everyday (I do this bun where you pull your hair into a ponytail then you fold your hair under then tuck your ends back into the ponytail holder. I am seriously not feeling my hair at all. I just want to give up:wallbash::wallbash:. Can somebody, anybody please help me?

ETA: Here's my regimen, if it'll help.
1. Pre poo with EVCO/EVOO/Castor oil or all three for 15-20 mins with heat
2. Wash with Shikaikai Poo Bar/Aphogee Shampoo Twice
3. DC with Aphogee 2min Reconstructor for 15 mins with heat
4. DC with ORS replenishing Pak for 30-45 mins with steaming Cap
5. T shirt dry
6. Then apply leave-ins
7. Airdry
8. Moisturize and seal when 50% dry w/ Kids Organics Shea Butter and Hot Six Oil
9. Airdry some more
10. Bun

*searching for a different moisturizer though

SORRY FOR THE GIGANTIC POST GUYS!!!
 
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Did you seriously try everything you possibly could try? It's takes some of us a while to find out what truly works for our hair.
 
what products are you using? do you deep condition? are you bunning wet or dry? how often do you trim? are you relaxed or natural?how often do you moisturize and do you seal please give more details.we'll help don't be upset,you'll get through this.
 
Tell us how you take care of your hair step-by-step (i.e. what you do on wash day, how you maintain it between wash-days, etc).
 
Was your hair damaged before you started your HHC? Sometimes you need to allow the hair to repair itself before you can expect growth. It took me a good 6/9 months for my hair to start retaining length. If your hair is damaged beforehand you need the health first before realistically expecting any length! :yep:

If you don't like how your ends are feeling using that bun method, switch it up and try something else like a french twist. You've really got to listen to your hair, if you feel that something isn't working your hair will tell you!
 
Relax...relax...Failure is not an option. If you give up then you'll never reach your goals. You'll have to re-vamp your regimen/products. If what you're doing isn't working, then change is needed. What is your regimen? What products are you using?
 
Are you natural or relaxed? If you're natural, you might need to cut out some of that protein and include some more moisture based products.

Is the Aphogee poo you're using, the one for damaged hair? If it is that means you're using a protein poo, with a protein reconstructor, followed by a moisturizing/protein DC. That might be too much protein for you. You might need some additional moisture to aid with retention.
 
You're using too much protein, you need to be using a moisturising conditioner to follow up the Aphogee 2 Minute. The ORS pak is regarded as both a protein/moisture conditioner. You need a specific moisture treatment to follow up the Aphogee.
 
Sonye93 said:
Hello all, well I started my hair journey in May 2009 and I am roughly at the same darn length 8 months later. Not only that, but I don't think my hair is getting any healthier. Maybe I think so because its winter now and in the summer it was doing better. My ends always feel/look horrible even though all I do is protective style:perplexed. I trimmed my hair on Dec. 23 not only because I was in dire need of one but also because I wanted to try out the "moon thing" (cut your hair on a full moon according to calendar, and hair gets longer due to the pull of the moon). Yea.....that's not working out so well:nono:...My ends are still horrible, and I'm not sure if it's because of the bun I do everyday (I do this bun where you pull your hair into a ponytail then you fold your hair under then tuck your ends back into the ponytail holder. I am seriously not feeling my hair at all. I just want to give up:wallbash::wallbash:. Can somebody, anybody please help me?

ETA: Here's my regimen, if it'll help.
1. Pre poo with EVCO/EVOO/Castor oil or all three for 15-20 mins with heat
2. Wash with Shikaikai Poo Bar/Aphogee Shampoo Twice
3. DC with Aphogee 2min Reconstructor for 15 mins with heat
4. DC with ORS replenishing Pak for 30-45 mins with steaming Cap
5. T shirt dry
6. Then apply leave-ins
7. Airdry
8. Moisturize and seal when 50% dry w/ Kids Organics Shea Butter and Hot Six Oil
9. Airdry some more
10. Bun

*searching for a different moisturizer though

SORRY FOR THE GIGANTIC POST GUYS!!!
Click to expand...

The aphogee and the ORS contain proteins, does your hair feel dryer because it doesnt seem like your using any moisturizing DC's.

Also I personally hate the Kids organics shea butter, I do not find it moisturizing at all.

What leave-ins are you using?


EDIT: Sorry did not realize others said the same thing
 
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Okay, several things jump out at me:

1. You are frustrated/upset. This is a time when you may feel tempted to do something drastic. DON'T. Just take a deep breath and try to take it one day at a time.

2. That bun with the ends under the ponytail holder is murder for the hair. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough, that's the worst. Stop doing that. It's time for you to find a new protective style.

3. Way too much protein. You need to scale that back.

4. Are you braiding/twisting your hair up at night and then sleeping with a satin bonnet on? Do you use a satin pillowcase?

5. You haven't been on this HHJ that long. The hair that you had on your head when the journey began could possibly be too damaged to really fix up. As long as the stuff growing from the scalp is healthy, that's what's important.

:bighug: You can do this.
 
In addition to what LadyPaniolo said:

First you stated that your hair is not thriving in the winter like it does in the summer so if your practices are the same as stated then you must alter your regimen.

1. Because in the winter time hair gets dry you should make should you are hydrated {drink water} and nourished on the inside and include omega fatty acids. A product called Barleans Essential Women does wonders for hair skin and nails and it help retain moisture. Also a humidifier help with the dry air.

2. Because you hair is dry you should not start your regimen course off with oil pre-poo you should part your hair in sections and mist your hair with water and then applied a water base conditioner to your hair. I say that because you hair is thristy and oil don't give what it needs.

3. Reduce the amount of time you are Shampooing. Usually when you clarify (if you do if not you should) that should be enough shampooing. Because Shampoo can't give you the moisture you need instead it will strip your hair of it's oils causing dryness.

4. Make sure you products are with in the right ph so that it won't cause your hair to revert and once again become dry. Also you want products that is going to help you retain moister so get your hair something that will help closed down that cuticle.

5. Increase the weeks in which you apply protein and note that EVCO help the hair retain protein so hair can stay strong.

6. As far as hair growth, have your hair grown past the current length. And note while some people may have a goal for longer hair it may never happen due to genetics. But if you have seen longer growth or even think it can grown press on just get to know you hair and give it what it needs.
 
LadyPaniolo said:
Okay, several things jump out at me:

1. You are frustrated/upset. This is a time when you may feel tempted to do something drastic. DON'T. Just take a deep breath and try to take it one day at a time.

2. That bun with the ends under the ponytail holder is murder for the hair. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough, that's the worst. Stop doing that. It's time for you to find a new protective style.
Yup...thats a NO- NO:nono:
3. Way too much protein. You need to scale that back.
I completely agree:yep:
4. Are you braiding/twisting your hair up at night and then sleeping with a satin bonnet on? Do you use a satin pillowcase?

5. You haven't been on this HHJ that long. The hair that you had on your head when the journey began could possibly be too damaged to really fix up. As long as the stuff growing from the scalp is healthy, that's what's important.

:bighug: You can do this.
Click to expand...

Are you moisturizing and sealing daily? Make sure the moisturizer you are using does not contain any protein and is water- based. Never allow ends to "feel" dry. By then it is too late. Keep those puppies moisturized always and you'll start to see retention
 
LadyPaniolo said:
2. That bun with the ends under the ponytail holder is murder for the hair. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough, that's the worst. Stop doing that. It's time for you to find a new protective style.
Click to expand...

Lady P is absolutely right on this one. Those kinds of buns will straight jack up your ends. You can try another PS, but if you must bun, a way to do it so that it wont mess up ends would be to:

Place your hair in a ponytail (I use Goody Ouchless Ponytail holders)
Twist the hair (as if you were doing a bantu knot)
Then pin it around your ponytail

This way, when you take the bun down, your ends are nice and smooth, not dry and crackly.

See Photos for reference
 

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You are getting a lot of protien and minimal moisture. I had to completely change my routine I used in summer. In the winter, it is so cold and dry that I have to limit my prior weekly protein treatments to only once a month! Any more than that and my hair is hard and dry. During the winter I focus on moisture and in summer I focus DC's on protein. I live in south so humidity here makes moisture not an issue in summer.

Try focusing on getting a lot more moisture in your reggie and see if that helps, but stay in the game if you quit now you definately won't reach your hair goals. :bighug:
 
Please don't give up. If your current regimen is not working you should change a few things. It seems like you need to obtain and maintain a nice balance of protein and moisture. Too much of either can cause breakage.
 
1. Try a good multivitamin. Also, if ur up for it look into biotin, msm, silica, and/or iron supplements. You may be deficient.

2. my hair doesn't like the same thing everyday--it'll start breaking off--ie a bun in the same spot every day. Switch things up...Try a rollerset one week, high bun another, low bun another, etc...I also don't think its good to wear ur hair pulled back/bunned all the time b/c it will start to wear on ur edges.

disclaimer: I'm a newbie and really just kinda startd my journey too--but this is what i've found has worked for me thusfar.
 
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I agree with all that has been offered, especially with:

1. Prepooing with a conditioner
2. Limiting the amount of time the Aphogee is used to 5 minutes maximum
3. Replacing the ORS with another more moisturizing DC
4. Kicking the Kids Organics Shea Butter to the curb
5. Trying another PS other than the current method used

Although I would bun every day in the manner described by beans4reezy, my hair didn't seem any healthier either (at least to me). However, one thing that really helped to turn things was using Roux Porosity Control before DCing. I understand your frustration, but don't give up. Continue to sort things through until you find what works for you, even if it is bit-by-bit, product-by-product.

Keep your head up!
 
Esq.2B said:
Are you natural or relaxed? If you're natural, you might need to cut out some of that protein and include some more moisture based products.

Is the Aphogee poo you're using, the one for damaged hair? If it is that means you're using a protein poo, with a protein reconstructor, followed by a moisturizing/protein DC. That might be too much protein for you. You might need some additional moisture to aid with retention.
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was thinking. OP your hair may be protein sensitive.
 
I would suggest daily cowashing with a moisturizing conditioner (This has helped me tremendously in retaining growth) and then following up with a leave in treatment and conditioner. Also, taking a multivitamin, drinking more water, and exercising!
 
MAN I LOOOOOVE YOU GUYSYou all are always here for someone in times of need.

Okay, I am relaxed, and I know my hair loves protein, but I guess I am overdoing it and should be a lot more focused on moisture. Although I don't know what to do because my hair gets mushy really quickly.

I live in NY and the water here is pretty great, so I don't think it's the water.

I have texlaxed hair.

Man, I knew it was the bun! Aww man, I loved that bun too, can I just pin the ends under? Thanks beans4reezy with the bun pics, but I don't think buns like that suit me very well. Then again I gotta do it in the name of healthier hair.

Although I don't have exercising sessions, I am a very active teen so exercising isn't a problem. However, I think I do need to up my water intake. I also need a multivitamin, I currently take Vit C and Glucosamine and MSM (for knee and back pains, lol, I sound old).

For my pre-poo I think I'll use a condish or mayo (mayo is moisturizing right?).

I think I'll go back to S-Curl as a moisturizer. But what do I use when I flat-ironed my hair, the Wave Nouveau wasn't working for me?

Umm, before LHCF my hair wasn't really damaged, it just wasn't as healthy as it could be.

ILYandY, how do I know what the pH levels of my products are? I do use Roux Porosity Control after. I don't know why I forgot to include it. Also When should I clarify? Do you know any "moisturizing poos?

Okay guys, I am ready to start over.....I'm gonna go put honey and Elasta QP DPR-11 on my hair..........
 
Cream Tee said:
Was your hair damaged before you started your HHC? Sometimes you need to allow the hair to repair itself before you can expect growth. It took me a good 6/9 months for my hair to start retaining length. If your hair is damaged beforehand you need the health first before realistically expecting any length! :yep:

I agree with this. I started my journey in August and although I have retained maybe an inch, i have come to the conclusion that I may not see any real length until I trim away and/or grow out my pre-LHCF days. I can definately see a different between the hair that was already on my head and the hair that has grown in the past few months. Also I have noticed my hair has not been doing as well as I would like in the cold Saint Louis 17 degree temps. Hang in there it may get better in the spring.
Click to expand...
 
Look at it this way OP, you're a teen now, by the time your in your twenties you'll probably have lovely long gorgeous hair, if you're consistent and stick to a good regime. I wish I started as young as you! Honestly, all is not lost, stick at it! :yep:
 
I think you might need to try something other than the bun to see if there's a difference. I don't have any luck with buns. Also cut done on the protein. I hope it works out for you :)
 
I think a lot of good suggestions have been given. Remember all things take time and patience. I started Feb 1st 2009 and my hair wasn't great (IMO) until October and I still have a ways to go (again IMO).

I don't really shampoo regularly but ones I have are Castile soap (not drying in the least) and a little goes a long way, ORS Aloe for clarifying and chelating (still getting over hard water hair), and Jojoba Hemp from Shescentit ( not stripping or drying).

If you need protein in your life to maintain good balance then try light/medium protein conditioners when needed. Mane n Tail, ORS, AO GPB, and a host of others. Look in the Deep Condition Challenge Thread there are a list of DCs on the first page arranged by type (moisture vs protein).

Please! please! Please! make sure you are following your heavy protein sessions with a moisture DC. BTW you may need to trim you ends from the damage of the buns (maybe).

Patience isn't just a virtue it is a necessity for hair growth. Stress will impede your growth. HTH. HHG!!!
 
When I looked at your reggie, the things that stood out were the daily bunning (just asking for breakage), too much protein (try to get it in your diet, eggs & meat) and air drying ( not sure why this causes breakage, it just does). A great set of products that will correct your hair is Pantene Beautiful Lengths, $5 at wal Mart.I found this to be better than pricey stuff. Get one really good trim and KEEP YOUR HAIR OFF YOUR NECK/SHOULDERS.Moisture treat then alternate with a Protein treatment, oil and seal daily! HHG!
 
Sonye93 said:
MAN I LOOOOOVE YOU GUYSYou all are always here for someone in times of need.

Okay, I am relaxed, and I know my hair loves protein, but I guess I am overdoing it and should be a lot more focused on moisture. Although I don't know what to do because my hair gets mushy really quickly.

I live in NY and the water here is pretty great, so I don't think it's the water.

I have texlaxed hair.

Man, I knew it was the bun! Aww man, I loved that bun too, can I just pin the ends under? Thanks beans4reezy with the bun pics, but I don't think buns like that suit me very well. Then again I gotta do it in the name of healthier hair.

Although I don't have exercising sessions, I am a very active teen so exercising isn't a problem. However, I think I do need to up my water intake. I also need a multivitamin, I currently take Vit C and Glucosamine and MSM (for knee and back pains, lol, I sound old).

For my pre-poo I think I'll use a condish or mayo (mayo is moisturizing right?).

I think I'll go back to S-Curl as a moisturizer. But what do I use when I flat-ironed my hair, the Wave Nouveau wasn't working for me?

Umm, before LHCF my hair wasn't really damaged, it just wasn't as healthy as it could be.

ILYandY, how do I know what the pH levels of my products are? I do use Roux Porosity Control after. I don't know why I forgot to include it. Also When should I clarify? Do you know any "moisturizing poos?

Okay guys, I am ready to start over.....I'm gonna go put honey and Elasta QP DPR-11 on my hair..........
Click to expand...

Hi Sonye -

Everyone is correct - It may have been mentioned but you definitely need to add some moisturizing conditioners to your arsenal.

Based on your above questions -

ORS Aloe - is a good clarifying shampoo and you should be okay using it no more than twice a month

Moisturizing Shampoos - Nexxus Therappe, Kenra Moisturizing Shampoo, Elasta QP (never tried) Silk Elements Moisturizing (never tried)

Moisturizing Conditioners - Silk Elements MegaSilk, AO HSR, Kenra MC, Silicon Mix, Loreal Mega Moisture

There is really no way to tell the PH levels of most products unless it is specifically indicated on the bottle/packaging

I know other will chime in - you could also do a search for other suggestions...

You definitely need more moisture in your life but it should not be limited to S-Curl ....

HTH
 
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