Not wanting to get my hair wet "spoiled the mood". Problem for you guys too?

HoneyDew

HoneyDew

Well-Known Member
Ladies, last night took a turn SOUTH!!

I was feeling really good last night. :) I am out of town and staying in a really nice hotel. My BF, right after he got off work, met me in the hotel lounge along with 3 of his co-workers. We were having SO MUCH FUN and I enjoyed meeting them. After his co-workers left, we decided to take a bottle of wine from the bar and go up to our room and (hope this is not too TMI) take a shower together. Things were looking good.

Well, I put on one of those plastic processing caps AND a big not-so-sexy flowery shower cap and proceeded to get in the shower. He was like :look:

While we were in there, my caps fell off and water ws spraying all over my face and hair. :perplexed I just was not comfortable in there and decided to get out.

That spoiled my mood, as well, but my BF proceeded to go off. I was like :eek: :confused:

He said that he is tired of all of my "hair issues" and what's the big deal about it getting wet and that he can't stand that I won't just let go and have fun. He is sick of the fact that I won't get in the pool without my chelating shampoo available (it was funny that he even remembered that) and blah, blah, blah.

It was bad yall. We made up this morning (these things never go too far thank goodness) but I can't help but think about it. I mean, I learned what he really thinks.

Do you ever have issues with your SO (or anyone) because of your hair? Do your hair issues ever "spoil the mood"? Was I just being too uptight?
 
Well, yeah---I would have to say u were being too uptight.
I am the same way about my hair and trying to get out of it.

It just spoils the fun--the spontanity--the freedom when i worry about my hair as much as I have been. And yep--my SO does have issues with it. *sigh*

maybe u can plan another shower adventure and hop in with ur hair down and ready to get wet!:yep:
 
Aww, sorry to hear that. He was probably just frustrated. I don't let my hair issues spoil the mood, I just have to take some extra time after to work it out lol.
 
FlawedBeauty said:
Aww, sorry to hear that. He was probably just frustrated. I don't let my hair issues spoil the mood, I just have to take some extra time after to work it out lol.
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OT, but great progress pics lady!


Yeah, I need to make up for this one. He apologized for things he said last night, but I don't want him to feel that I cannot be spontaneous. I just did not feel like having to do my hair while out of town. I did it the night before I left and just knew I could get thorough the week w/o having to do anything else. Yall know how it is. It is hard having to deal with that while out of town.
 
Aw HoneyDew, I'm glad you guys made up. :)

Sometimes you just have to "let go". It won't hurt you (or your hair, if you take care of it immediately afterwards with a good shampoo/DC/careful detangling/moisturizing leave-in/airdry :lachen:).

I say just grab him one day and jump into the shower without that cap...he'll be shocked and quite "in the mood". ;)
 
Hm I don't really mind my hair getting wet.
I mean you could slick it in a bun afterwards.
I think you were to uptight but I'd have been mad at him if he would have went off on me.
I mean I wasn't there so i can't really judge the situation.


You KNOW that water won't hurt your hair so don't let that ruin your romantic life;)
 
HoneyDew said:
Ladies, last night took a turn SOUTH!!

I was feeling really good last night. :) I am out of town and staying in a really nice hotel. My BF, right after he got off work, met me in the hotel lounge along with 3 of his co-workers. We were having SO MUCH FUN and I enjoyed meeting them. After his co-workers left, we decided to take a bottle of wine from the bar and go up to our room and (hope this is not too TMI) take a shower together. Things were looking good.

Well, I put on one of those plastic processing caps AND a big not-so-sexy flowery shower cap and proceeded to get in the shower. He was like :look:

While we were in there, my caps fell off and water ws spraying all over my face and hair. :perplexed I just was not comfortable in there and decided to get out.

That spoiled my mood, as well, but my BF proceeded to go off. I was like :eek: :confused:

He said that he is tired of all of my "hair issues" and what's the big deal about it getting wet and that he can't stand that I won't just let go and have fun. He is sick of the fact that I won't get in the pool without my chelating shampoo available (it was funny that he even remembered that) and blah, blah, blah.

It was bad yall. We made up this morning (these things never go too far thank goodness) but I can't help but think about it. I mean, I learned what he really thinks.

Do you ever have issues with your SO (or anyone) because of your hair? Do your hair issues ever "spoil the mood"? Was I just being too uptight?
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:lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
He's definitely a keeper.
 
WomanlyCharm said:
Aw HoneyDew, I'm glad you guys made up. :)

Sometimes you just have to "let go". It won't hurt you (or your hair, if you take care of it immediately afterwards with a good shampoo/DC/careful detangling/moisturizing leave-in/airdry :lachen:).

I say just grab him one day and jump into the shower without that cap...he'll be shocked and quite "in the mood". ;)
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See, you know exactly what I am talking about. I knew I was going to want to do all of that. :lol: Right now, I am sitting here with some Joico K-pak on since he had to go to work. My hair airdried overnight and I did not have any product on it. :eek: I am sure you can just imagine what I was looking like. :lol:


But, still I wanted to take the subway into Hollywood today - NOT be doing my hair :ohwell:

We are here until Monday so I have a couple of days to try to be fun. :)
 
Well, me & my friend were getting into the shower together & I put a shower cap on. he didn't say anything or look at me funny. i wouldn't have mind getting my hair wet, but i had just rollerset my hair the night before & it took me 2 hours ( i'm new at it), so my hair was NOT getting wet.

as soon as we were out, i let my hair back down.
 
ella said:
Hm I don't really mind my hair getting wet.
I mean you could slick it in a bun afterwards.
I think you were to uptight but I'd have been mad at him if he would have went off on me.
I mean I wasn't there so i can't really judge the situation.


You KNOW that water won't hurt your hair so don't let that ruin your romantic life;)
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And that's how things got worse. I am not going to have him going off on me like that. :mad: And you know when those sort of things happen people can say mean things. At one point he said "You have a lot to learn about life little girl." That PISSED me off ladies. I proceeded to let him have it. "I am a grown woman, you don't talk to me like that....blah blah blah"

We slept in separate beds last night :( but when I woke up, he asked me to get into the bed with him and we both went back to sleep for a few hours. Maybe we needed to just sleep it off.

We have never had a argument like that since we have been together this 4 years. Now that I am thinking about it, it is kinda funny and it was a stupid thing to argue about.
 
HoneyDew said:
And that's how things got worse. I am not going to have him going off on me like that. :mad: And you know when those sort of things happen people can say mean things. At one point he said "You have a lot to learn about life little girl." That PISSED me off ladies. I proceeded to let him have it. "I am a grown woman, you don't talk to me like that....blah blah blah"

We slept in separate beds last night :( but when I woke up, he asked me to get into the bed with him and we both went back to sleep for a few hours. Maybe we needed to just sleep it off.

We have never had a argument like that since we have been together this 4 years. Now that I am thinking about it, it is kinda funny and it was a stupid thing to argue about.
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Thanks!!

Yea that happend to me on New Years. There was a jacuzzin in the hotel outta town. Man did I not want to get my hair wet, lol! But i did anyway, I just thought it would be really lame to kill the whole mood. At least he got over it though, its good u guys made up :D
 
Awww girl,

Sometimes we get so into our routine that the thought of dealing with our hair puts US out of the mood, imagine how they can feel. He was frustrated, our hair issues affect the men we're close to as well.

Its give and take. I understand where you were coming from, but I know you'll make it up. Lol, you just need a "spotaneous moment repair routine" :lachen:
 
Girl...just this past weekend me and my boyfriend got into it because of my hair. I wasn't expecting him to come over Friday night or Saturday morning so I decided I was going to have a wash day and fix my weave the next morning. So everything went well friday night, I washed, DCed, airdried, moisturized, and conrowed my hair. The next morning I wake up to fix my weave and he comes over expecting us to spend the whole day hanging out. I had no problem with that, but I did ask him if I could finish fixing my weave so I didn't look crazy all day. He said it was fine and will wait......come to fine out it wasn't fine :ohwell: . He was so mad after, talking bout it took me almost 2 hours and so on. One time he even called me obsessed with my hair. He thinks it weird that I have an online hair journal and that I visit hair forums. All in all, he thinks I spend too much time on my hair, especially on wash days. We’ll have to work on this issue :look:
 
Girl I understand your pain, I'm sure you remember my husband matting my hair post lol, the thing with this situation is I never let it spoil the mood I go with the flow but after the fire is out I go off lol, but I let him do what he wants during the moment, try and adjust you got a good guy especially him remembering the shampoo that's classic lol
 
Wonderful progress pics!!


I am glad that I am not the only one with these issues!!

This morning, after all that drama last night, he wanted to walk to Starbucks before he went into the office. I was like :look: "I am gonna need you to just bring me back a grande white chocolate mocha with skim milk". He just does not get, girl. The 1st think I thought about after my hair airdried last ngiht WITH NO product :eek: was jumping in the shower for a nice moisturizing shampoo and condition.

After I do my hair I am gonna go walk his office cuted up with my hair done. He'll be alright. :lol:

ak46 said:
Girl...just this past weekend me and my boyfriend got into it because of my hair. I wasn't expecting him to come over Friday night or Saturday morning so I decided I was going to have a wash day and fix my weave the next morning. So everything went well friday night, I washed, DCed, airdried, moisturized, and conrowed my hair. The next morning I wake up to fix my weave and he comes over expecting us to spend the whole day hanging out. I had no problem with that, but I did ask him if I could finish fixing my weave so I didn't look crazy all day. He said it was fine and will wait......come to fine out it wasn't fine :ohwell: . He was so mad after, talking bout it took me almost 2 hours and so on. One time he even called me obsessed with my hair. He thinks it weird that I have an online hair journal and that I visit hair forums. All in all, he thinks I spend too much time on my hair, especially on wash days. We’ll have to work on this issue :look:
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Girl, y'all were in a hotel. In the shower. With a bottle of wine. In a new environment. He wanted to have fun. Make it up to him.

To answer your question, Um, I dont THINK I allow my hair to ruin the mood for me because I know I can 'do' my hair over. :lol:
 
guesswho said:
Girl I understand your pain, I'm sure you remember my husband matting my hair post lol, the thing with this situation is I never let it spoil the mood I go with the flow but after the fire is out I go off lol, but I let him do what he wants during the moment, try and adjust you got a good guy especially him remembering the shampoo that's classic lol
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I do remember your thread. :lol:

I wanted to laugh when he mentioned my Kenra Chelating shampoo!! :lol:
 
NessaNessa said:
Girl, y'all were in a hotel. In the shower. With a bottle of wine. In a new environment. He wanted to have fun. Make it up to him.

To answer your question, Um, I dont THINK I allow my hair to ruin the mood for me because I know I can 'do' my hair over. :lol:
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good points! ;)

I need a do-over! :)
 
Yeah, I agree that you were being a little up-tight on that one. But don't get me wrong, I do understand where you are coming from. After doing all what you did to get your hair ready to go out of town, you don't want to mess it up and have to do it over again when you having fun. But like the others said, you are out out town, in a hotel, wine is flowing, away from the daily grind, so I would have gone with the flow. But I'm glad to hear all is well with you two. Maybe you can treat him to dinner with a do-over. :D

ITA w/Kandi on the "spotaneous moment repair routine". Nice to have a Plan B just in case ;)
 
I can understand your perspective because until recently (my hair tangles easily) I wanted to punch my SO in the ball sack everytime he ran his fingers through my hair (can you say snap, crackle and pop?). But, I didn't want to be the stereotype of the black woman who wouldn't let her man touch her hair.

As for your situation, I would have stayed in and just relaxed. Everyone used to think I was a freak because I wouldn't run when it rained, everyone kept telling my hair would revert. Water ain't nothing a little blowdrying or a rollerset can't fix, so honestly I do think you overreacted and I can understand why he got angry. He probably just wanted a sexy shower with his girl and for guys the whole shower cap thing makes them think of their moms. Which is fine, but for a sexy time shower it's not gonna work. Imagine one of those romantic shower scenes and the girl has a shower cap on? :lol:

Perhaps you can recreate the scene in your home with some candles, some wine and no shower cap :)
 
I don't think you were too uptight. If I had just done my hair (which takes hours by the way) there's no way in heck I'd get it wet. I don't care if it spoiled the mood or not. I'd get in the shower with a Wal-Mart bag on my head if I had to and he'd just have to deal. I'm just one of those people that's gonna be me, do what makes me happy and not care what anyone else thinks.
 
Pokahontas said:
I don't think you were too uptight. If I had just done my hair (which takes hours by the way) there's no way in heck I'd get it wet. I don't care if it spoiled the mood or not. I'd get in the shower with a Wal-Mart bag on my head if I had to and he'd just have to deal. I'm just one of those people that's gonna be me, do what makes me happy and not care what anyone else thinks.
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:lol: Pokahontas I am trying to picture you with the Walmart bag on your head! :lol:


Okay ladies, I feel much better now. Although forced to use the Hotel non-ionic :eek: blowdryer (note to self : never use that again) , my hair is back to normal. I should have put some leave-in or moisturizer on after I got out of the shower last night. I noticed some abnormal breakage. That may have been the fact that I had to use that blowdryer (that thang got way too HOT!!). Luckliy, I had just done a deep condition with Joico K-pak.

I am going to go ahead and put on a sundress and enjoy the rest of the day. Los Angeles is having beautiful weather! :D
 
Pokahontas said:
I don't think you were too uptight. If I had just done my hair (which takes hours by the way) there's no way in heck I'd get it wet. I don't care if it spoiled the mood or not. I'd get in the shower with a Wal-Mart bag on my head if I had to and he'd just have to deal. I'm just one of those people that's gonna be me, do what makes me happy and not care what anyone else thinks.
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I am so glad you said that because I am that sort of person, as well.

I did say to him "My hair was here before you came and it will be here after you leave! You and nobody else walking on the earth is going to change me."

Although he knows I love him and he is not going anywhere, my pride did kick in last night. At least he knows how I feel. This morning, he said that statement hurt his feelings. Anyway, I am glad its over. :)
 
yes especially when you have worked so hard on it but if you have the right products and know how to make your hair beautiful it shouldnt matter but like India said "I am not my hair" so its best do just enjoy the moment
 
HoneyDew said:
:lol: Pokahontas I am trying to picture you with the Walmart bag on your head! :lol:


Okay ladies, I feel much better now. Although forced to use the Hotel non-ionic :eek: blowdryer (note to self : never use that again) , my hair is back to normal. I should have put some leave-in or moisturizer on after I got out of the shower last night. I noticed some abnormal breakage. That may have been the fact that I had to use that blowdryer (that thang got way too HOT!!). Luckliy, I had just done a deep condition with Joico K-pak.

I am going to go ahead and put on a sundress and enjoy the rest of the day. Los Angeles is having beautiful weather! :D
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Girl you just don't know. When I get caught in the rain w/ no umbrella yes I will pull out a Wal-Mart bag and strut like I'm cute too:lol: .

I'm gonna do me and i'm not worried about pleasing anybody else (when it comes to my hair) so you don't worry about it girl. If he loves you this will not be an issue.
 
Sometimes we have to compromise and put our hair second. I do not believe it is fair to run the line on our partners "if they love us they just have to deal". It has to be give and take, and sometimes our men dont want to see us with bags on our heads, and who can blame them? Its really not all that hot. Yes we put 2 or 3 hours into a rollerset or whatever, but some of us have put years into building healthy relationships and sometimes it is beneficial to both parties to compromise, and the happier he is the happier he is going to make me :lol: . Besides loving folks goes both ways, so if you love him take the cap off sometimes.
 
OnAHairQuest said:
Sometimes we have to compromise and put our hair second. I do not believe it is fair to run the line on our partners "if they love us they just have to deal". It has to be give and take, and sometimes our men dont want to see us with bags on our heads, and who can blame them? Its really not all that hot. Yes we put 2 or 3 hours into a rollerset or whatever, but some of us have put years into building healthy relationships and sometimes it is beneficial to both parties to compromise, and the happier he is the happier he is going to make me :lol: . Besides loving folks goes both ways, so if you love him take the cap off sometimes.
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I guess we all have different views. I'm hot when I take that bag off though, hee hee.:lachen:
 
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