Nonjudgmental people enter only please

First off, it's not your fault. You were under the influence and he took clear advantage of you.

Secondly, not only do you need the morning after pill..you need to get tested. (not sure if it's too late for a rape kit, but if not, that should be done as well)

Lastly, charges need to be pressed. I understand you are dealing with other things in your life, but that will pretty much be the best "revenge"(that you are currently contemplating)

I am sorry this happened to you.
 

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Oh my dear God. I am so sorry this happened to you. And I always say no means no, but if I were you I would do the following:
1. Get to a doctor ASAP to get tested and get that morning after pill ASAP.
2. Write down everything you remember.
3. Focus on your finals!
4. Once done with finals, seek therapy ASAP! There are counseling centers that specialize in therapy for rape victims. Utilize your school's medical and psychological services.
5. I believe you were raped BUT I think it would be VERY difficult and stressful for you to prove it based on the situation you described.
6. Stay away from this man!
7. Focus on learning from what happened and forgiving yourself for being human, naive, and making some mistakes.

Take it one day at a time. You will get through this. If anyone judges you harshly and I see it, I will defend you:yep:. You need love and support now, not harsh judgments. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your gf is dating a creep, but for now I think you should focus on yourself and your healing. And I hate to say this but I think he manipulated her and she in turn tricked you into this situation. I think it was a set up.
 
MsDee14 is so right. Get an STD test too. Tell your friend to do the same. If he is so wanton about having sex with his GF AND you....he's probably been cheating....and having unprotected sex. He is arrogant, presumptive (to just PRESUME you'd be okay with this), and immature. He is a predator and needs to be put in jail.

It is NOT your fault. If you didn't agree to it, its rape. In Florida, you don't even have to say "no".

You just have to NOT say YES.
 
MsDee14 said:
First off, it's not your fault. You were under the influence and he took clear advantage of you.

Secondly, not only do you need the morning after pill..you need to get tested. (not sure if it's too late for a rape kit, but if not, that should be done as well)

Lastly, charges need to be pressed. I understand you are dealing with other things in your life, but that will pretty much be the best "revenge"(that you are currently contemplating)

I am sorry this happened to you.
Click to expand...

IA with everything MsDee14 said. Also, you should cut out your pro-rape guy friend from your life.

((Hugs))
 
rtexy said:
IA with everything MsDee14 said. Also, you should cut out your pro-rape guy friend from your life.

((Hugs))
Click to expand...

Yes! And if you do proceed with pressing charges (I pray that you do) be prepared to lose her and turn her into an enemy.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. (((((Hugs)))))

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos
 
Yes, campus counseling STAT! STD check!

YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS! DO NOT FEEL LIKE A SLUT, OR SHAME OR ANY OTHER LABEL THAT GUY FRIEND TRIED TO PLACE ON YOU!

I agree with the other poster, guys plan to have 3somes and he planned this. He's a Ph.D student, you're a senior, his a$$ is grown!!!

Yes, it will be difficult to prove your end but you can always trick him into having sex with you again and place flesh eating bacteria on his penis...not serious I'm rambling and upset for you. Actually, I am serious. :look:
 
becareful about the people who your around when your under the influence of any substance
and if you are not alert when your doing these substances it may be wise to not do them

-if a persons shows you their true colors the first time- believe that

i wish you all the best
 
DAMMIT! I am so sorry honey. I know how you feel. I was seeing a man back in the spring of 2011 and he got me some drinks at dinner. I finished the pitcher. That never happens. It was so sweet and juice like. We got back to his place and made out as usual but he didn't stop. I cried so bad and begged for him to stop. He did after a while. Crazy thing is I still spoke to him after. I made excuses for his behavior. I was embarrassed and tried to act like maybe I confused him but I didn't! Do NOT beat yourself up! I am sorry your friend said what he said to you. Some men don't get it and are not the best at providing comfort. Please, get yourself checked out! (((HUGS))) My heart is heavy for you but you are going to be okay and so will your friend. Thank you for sharing your story. It will help you heal. ((((MORE HUGS)))
 
Hi honey...he made you a drink. Was your in the clouds experience how it usually is or was it more? He may have put something in your drink. You may need a urine drug screen too. No judging. If you ever wanted to press charges, they would ask did you see a doctor? He made you a drink, you were wasted(just a word I am using, most of us have been real drunk or high before),it does sound like a set up. He knew you were coming over, he picked up whatever he used to ensure that you were not able to refuse. what is it ghb maybe? You need to see a doctor and a cop. immediately, God bless you!
 
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I'm reading all of you ladies responses. Thank you so much. I'm dealing with it on my own the best that I can. I know what I should do but I just need some time before doing it. Once again, thank you
 
How did you know this happened? Were you semi conscious or did he or she tell you the next morning?
 
Maybe all of us should pray for preciouslove0x. Group prayer really works. Dear Lord, please watch over our sweet, young, innocent sister. Fill her with your love and adoration. Let her know that she is still precious in your sight. Dear God, let her feel all of our love and support. I pray with all my heart that you heal quickly and can get on with your life. You deserve all that you've been working for and dreaming of. In Jesus name and all that is good and holy I see you now whole, healed, lovable, and precious. Amen.

All religions, spiritualities welcome.

Shimmie and Nice & Wavy please come. We need your prayers.
 
I'm sorry this happened to you. What has your roommate said?! Does she remember or know what happened? Is she OK with this? I don't even know what to say, its so shocking he felt this was OK. The rape culture and mentality with men these days is appalling

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
 
What does your friend say about the sitch? Have you two talked about it?

Sorry this happened to you. :(
 
:(. I think the ladies have offered great advice.

I understand you feel you need time before you go report it BUT please don't wait. Go now! Defense attorneys will use the fact that you waited to report against you. And don't report to campus police, depending on the accused they might sweep it under the rug or not give a just punishment. Go to the real city police!
 
bb you did nothing wrong, and you deserve better. Please Please get tested straight away. I don't know what your healthcare is like but go to the nearest GUM clinic and ask for preventative drugs. They'll put you on them as a precaution whether any of the tests are positive or not.
WRT This older guy friend. I calls a spade a spade too He is not your friend. He is apologising for a rapist. no friend will say that. Often people who apologise for rapists... well lets just say that they do not respect consent either. That man took advantage of you.
WRT to reporting it... you have to do what's best for you. I can't imagine what the stress of your situation is like, and only you will know what's best for you. But please look after your mental health by seeing a counsellor. and if you're religious, you spiritual health by talking God.
If you do want to confront him, for your own mental wellbeing please please please ensure your safety before you go.

If you ever need anyone to talk to please pm me.
 
I'm so sorry this happened. Definitely get tested and get that pill ASAP!

If your friend chooses to continue on with this guy, she is not a friend. If both of you report, it will definitely work in your favor.

I've been assaulted before and you will go over every single step in your mind trying to figure what you could have done or not done. That led me not to report because I felt I would be blamed. But the fact is...not your fault whether you choose to report or not.

Your guy friend is an a$$ and wrong.

Big hug!
 
ok... now for a little tough love for after you do all of the steps posted above. Before I begin, I am in now way excusing the behavior of your room mate or the boyfriend, they are dead wrong.

However, you need to take responsiblity for your role in this situation... you drank too much, were "in the clouds" and that left you open to a compromising situation. You are responsible for that and only that. Be honest with yourself and own it. Then let it go. My fear is that you will feel some guilt about the situation and replay what you coulda, shoulda, woulda done until it comsumes you. When the bottomline is you made a mistake, like all of us have, hopefully you have learned a valuable lesson, and there is no reason to hold onto it so it impacts the rest of your life. The only reason I bring this up is because at some point you are going to need to forgive yourself so you can focus on taking necesarry actions against your assailants (i'm side eyeing your roommate) and get the proper care you need.

Take care of yourself... I'll keep you in prayer
 
I think it is my fault. Actually I know it's my fault. I'm not going to play victim. I should have never been there. Its my responsibility to keep myself safe and not anyone else's. The faster I own up to it the quicker I can get over it. Im sorry for wasting everyone's time. Ill ask the mods to close this thread.
 
preciouslove0x said:
I think it is my fault. Actually I know it's my fault. I'm not going to play victim. I should have never been there. Its my responsibility to keep myself safe and not anyone else's. The faster I own up to it the quicker I can get over it. Im sorry for wasting everyone's time. Ill ask the mods to close this thread.
Click to expand...

No!! You did not ask to be raped while unconscious. You did not ask your best friend's boyfriend to take advantage of you while his girlfriend was laying next you. YOU DID NOT ASK FOR ANY OF THIS!

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos
 
daydreem2876 said:
ok... now for a little tough love for after you do all of the steps posted above. Before I begin, I am in now way excusing the behavior of your room mate or the boyfriend, they are dead wrong.

However, you need to take responsiblity for your role in this situation... you drank too much, were "in the clouds" and that left you open to a compromising situation. You are responsible for that and only that. Be honest with yourself and own it. Then let it go. My fear is that you will feel some guilt about the situation and replay what you coulda, shoulda, woulda done until it comsumes you. When the bottomline is you made a mistake, like all of us have, hopefully you have learned a valuable lesson, and there is no reason to hold onto it so it impacts the rest of your life. The only reason I bring this up is because at some point you are going to need to forgive yourself so you can focus on taking necesarry actions against your assailants (i'm side eyeing your roommate) and get the proper care you need.

Take care of yourself... I'll keep you in prayer
Click to expand...

:nono::nono::nono:

As if she isn't feeling bad enough!!!
 
preciouslove0x said:
I think it is my fault. Actually I know it's my fault. I'm not going to play victim. I should have never been there. Its my responsibility to keep myself safe and not anyone else's. The faster I own up to it the quicker I can get over it. Im sorry for wasting everyone's time. Ill ask the mods to close this thread.
Click to expand...


Sweetie... it is not my intent on making you feel bad or not seek further help from others here. I have been where you are, so my advice comes from experience. My point is... forgive yourself, let it go, and move on so you can focus on taking the appropriate steps to heal. These types of things can fester within and destroy your self esteem... I have seen other women wallow in their mistakes and go on the make bigger ones, and digging that emotional hole deeper. No one here wats that for you. Your are resposible for no more than putting yourself in a compromising situation, thats it, thats all... nothing else is your fault. All I am saying is recognize your role, learn and grow from it. Let it make you stronger not weaker.
 
MsDee14 said:
:nono::nono::nono:

As if she isn't feeling bad enough!!!
Click to expand...

Thank you MsDee. Some people cannot just focus on just love for a moment. To the poster who posted the tough love, do you really think she did not feel responsible, and silly, and foolish? She practically begged for no judgment. She needed our comfort and that was what she was getting. She will likely beat herself up over this for years to come. I don't know what else to say.

OP, your response is very typical, almost everyone blames themselves no matter what the circumstances. That is why almost everyone needs therapy following trauma. I am so sorry you are going through this. PM us if you need to.
 
hopeful said:
Thank you MsDee. Some people cannot just focus on just love for a moment. To the poster who posted the tough love, do you really think she did not feel responsible, and silly, and foolish? She practically begged for no judgment. She needed our comfort and that was what she was getting. She will likely beat herself up over this for years to come. I don't know what else to say.

OP, your response is very typical, almost everyone blames themselves no matter what the circumstances. That is why almost everyone needs therapy following trauma. I am so sorry you are going through this. PM us if you need to.
Click to expand...

I do not dispute anything anyone here has said, and support all suggestions given. My thoughts may not have been what others would like to hear but reality is not just pretty words of comfort. There has to room for honesty so she can forgive herself. People will ruin their entire lives over their own guilt, I have seen it happen. You mentioned all of the negative feeling OP probaly has. All I am saying is that she needs to own up to it for her healing process and so she can take action. So those who took advantage of her can use her own feelings as weapons to get her to back down from pressing charges. So she can move forward without fear and doubts about what she coulda, should, woulda did. So this situation will not hurt her in the long run. I am thinking about her long term well being and there should be a place for that to be addressed as well.
 
Your BFF and her BF sound all kinds of crazy and tried to pull you into their crazy world, hoping you would stay with them.

Run, don't walk, to the nearest hospital, police precinct and counselor to seek medical care, press charges and counseling so that you understand you are not to blame.

You were raped, point blank, period. If your friend says otherwise, she is not your friend. If this "man" says otherwise, he is a liar.

You do not deserve this. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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