Negativity about Natural Hair Vent

[HeatherJo]

Good morning ladies,

I'm a little bumped out today. No matter how much growth I get and show everyone how wonderful it is to be natural there is so much negativity and I'm tired of it. Sometimes it seems like everyone in the world has been programmed to dislike our natural hair. I know it's not EVERYONE, but it feels like it. I have friends and family members with chewed up ends that have been ear and neck length for years that still feel like my hair, although BSL, is nappy and unattractive. They don't want to take my hair advice and would rather loose their edges from microbraids and act like they are so cute, than learn how to care for their own hair. They scuff at me when I tell them about LCHF and feel like I'm loosing my mind. It's like talking to a ********** wall... . At least my husband is on my side. Thanks for listening I feel better now.

I created an Xtranormal Video for comedic relieve. Enjoy.
http://youtu.be/aTMjJn--U0Q

 

[Renewed1]

<<HUGS>>

Girl bye. We all go through this in one form or another. I don't talk about hair unless someone asks me a question. Plus, I have a list of smart remarks ready for anyone that gets out of line.

 

[Triniwegian]

Every time I see a thread like this I start to wonder... Are you bringing attention to your own hair and possibly gloat about you length and progress and therefore people give you nasty remarks. Or do you just have @ssholes as your frinds/family.

I do not talk about my hair, and neither does anyone else (except from the occasional compliment), I am not saying my experience is universal, but how is is that your (general you) hair gets so much attention? Do you seek it and not get the answer you want?

I am sorry you are dealing with this OP but they might think that you are bashing their hair and therefore they react like they do, sometimes unsolicited advice can be taken as an insult..I could be very wrong though.

 

[Pompous Blue]

I agree with MarriageMaterial and Conterria....I keep my hair journey to myself unless asked. And even then I give brief answers unless I sense they want more info and I always point them to LHCF.

I share my enthusiasm about my hair with LHCF......Just some friendly advice to ease your frustration now and in the future.

 

[CarolinaGal]

Hang in there! Your hair is very pretty so just keep on your journey. If others are happy with scraggly, raggedy hair, then maybe that's just their preference. WE know the real deal. Stay encouraged!

 

[Tiye]

Why do other people have to listen to you for you to be happy? Not everyone thinks hair is deep enough to spend time online reading about it. Hair is a personal thing - everyone does what they feel is right for them. You're doing you and your husband is happy. What more can you ask for?

 

[ladykpnyc]

Just worry about you. If you love yourself, then *** em

 

[Beautytalk69]

Girl please. If you are happy with your hair..then who cares what they think? Don't bring it up to them..

 

[Lita]

Hey OP!

I only tell people (out-side L.H.C.F) about haircare if they ask...Other then that,I keep it to my-self..

People are going to have personal opinions & so forth...JUST DO YOU & KEEP GROWING YOUR HAIR....

*Its ok to vent..


Happy Hair Growing!

 

[Your Cheeziness]

I agree with everyone else. It seems as if you may be forcing your hair on other people. It may not even have anything to do with being natural, some folks just don't give two craps about hair like that. I know relaxed people who don't want to hear anything about hair care. So, it's not always a natural vs the world thing. Just keep doing you. Your avi is very cute, so you shouldn't be having any second guesses about your appearance.

 

[discodumpling]

You're talking waaaaay too much to the wrong folks girl.

 

[greenandchic]

I would just let them be and not bring it up anymore. They have to come to terms with their hair on their own. You already planted to seeds, so just let it be. The less you rub it in their faces, the better chance they will finally "get it".

Besides, haters are going to hate.

I paid my money here so that I can have an outlet to talk about hair, because that doesn't exist for me outside of the Internet.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I don't even discuss my hair with outside folks. They usually ask me something and I give them a quick answer and keep it moving. Negativity roles off my back but I understand that as a newbie this may be hard for you so (((((HUGS))))

 

[DrC]

With all due respect HeatherJo , f*** them and their chewed up edges.
Go play in your beautiful hair. Full edges and all. (your hair is cute)

 

[ms-gg]

People come off sideways to me about my hair occasionally, especially when I first went natural. Five years later, some of these same people:
A)Love my hair now
B)Stopped perming their hair, although they don't wear their hair in its natural texture
C)Have gone natural themselves and are rocking it
D)Still don't like it

You can't change other people. People are going to be who they are whether you like it or not. You SHOULD NOT let other people have power over you to the point that you are mad/angry/sad because of how they feel about you. People are going to talk ill of you now, tomorrow, and once you die. People are saying bad things about you whether they say it to your face or behind your back.

You have to brush off the negatively and continue to live your life how you want to live it. Getting to this place in life may be a process but I tell you one thing, it is definitely the best mental freedom in the world.

 

[Lyric]

I think some people who KNOW that their hair isn't as healthy and scraggely automatically becomes defensive and try to bring you down. Hair can be a touchy subject for a lot of women for insecurity reasons because healthy hair SHORT or LONG carries character in itself. It shows sex appeal in a women and makes her feel nice with healthy hair but some have to rely on weaves and braids to look halfway decent. So I wouldn't even bring natural hair care up with anyone outside the LHCF family unless they ask. "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." U got haters chica so that means your doing something right!

 

[Rocky91]

Your hair is really cute! And you are too, gurl! Enjoy it and ignore them for now-perhaps they will come around, perhaps not. Either way, it doesn't pull hair out of your head.

Idk, sometimes reading threads like these, I'm thinking, do I live in an alternate universe or some ****? Cause I do not be havin all these hair convos in real life with the average person.

 

[Umm Ebraheem]

Every time I see a thread like this I start to wonder... Are you bringing attention to your own hair and possibly gloat about you length and progress and therefore people give you nasty remarks. Or do you just have @ssholes as your frinds/family.

I do not talk about my hair, and neither does anyone else (except from the occasional compliment), I am not saying my experience is universal, but how is is that your (general you) hair gets so much attention? Do you seek it and not get the answer you want?

I am sorry you are dealing with this OP but they might think that you are bashing their hair and therefore they react like they do, sometimes unsolicited advice can be taken as an insult..I could be very wrong though.

This is sometimes very true. I learned a minute ago to stop giving out hair advice that was not asked for. If people mention my hair or give a compliment I say thanks and keep it moving. I only advise after I've been asked. Saves a lot of frustration. If you like what you are doing to your hair fine, you don't have to fix everyone elses even though your burning inside to get their hair straightened out!

 

[greenandchic]

Your hair is really cute! And you are too, gurl! Enjoy it and ignore them for now-perhaps they will come around, perhaps not. Either way, it doesn't pull hair out of your head.

Idk, sometimes reading threads like these, I'm thinking, do I live in an alternate universe or some ****? Cause I do not be havin all these hair convos in real life with the average person.

I wonder that too.

 

[lovegymnasts]

Idk, sometimes reading threads like these, I'm thinking, do I live in an alternate universe or some ****? Cause I do not be havin all these hair convos in real life with the average person.

I have had numerous conversations about hair at work involving a lot of different people.
Asking me about my hair
Asking me what I use
Asking me what I do
Compliments
3 people suggested I try Carol's Daughter ( I tactfully let them know I am happy with the products I use); One of them gave me a sample she had. I still have not tried it.
Another person suggested I try Kinky Curly; again tactfully declined; I know they are trying to be helpful and engaging but they seem to think I hop from or I want to hop from product to product; Naw

I even had a hair conversation with a male co-worker.

The conversations are started by my co-workers.

 

[longfroinghair]

Good morning ladies,

I'm a little bumped out today. No matter how much growth I get and show everyone how wonderful it is to be natural there is so much negativity and I'm tired of it. Sometimes it seems like everyone in the world has been programmed to dislike our natural hair. I know it's not EVERYONE, but it feels like it. I have friends and family members with chewed up ends that have been ear and neck length for years that still feel like my hair, although BSL, is nappy and unattractive. They don't want to take my hair advice and would rather loose their edges from microbraids and act like they are so cute, than learn how to care for their own hair. They scuff at me when I tell them about LCHF and feel like I'm loosing my mind. It's like talking to a ********** wall... . At least my husband is on my side. Thanks for listening I feel better now.

OP, what do you mean, you "show everyone how wonderful it is to be natural? " Or that they "don't take your hair advice and act like their so cute"

.....These things can be understood in different ways; and that's why there's some confusion about what you meant in this thread....

I do agree though, Many people won't support natural hair...

Another thing I've come to realize is most of us at LHCF are hair fanatics. And like any fanatic we have to keep our mouths in check about our favorite subjects or we'll bore people......or in the worst senario.... offend them. That's why I agree with the other women here.

My Personal Fanatic 101: I save my discussions for hair forums, keep my hair-related responses short and sweet. I don't bring up my or their hair unless the other person does first.

This seems to work, haven't had any negativity about my natural hair so far, even when I wear it in it's natural state.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Hey OP!

A year into my natural journey, I was all geeked up about my success. I gave out advice that came from a good place, but was unwanted. It hurt at first, but I learned to only respond to direct questions. I never offer advice unless requested. I get stopped often in the store, just randomly and find myself talking to people who actually ARE INTERESTED in natural hair...Those are the ones you should invest your time talking HAIR to.

(((HUGS)))

 

[starchgirl]

Hey OP!

A year into my natural journey, I was all geeked up about my success. I gave out advice that came from a good place, but was unwanted. It hurt at first, but I learned to only respond to direct questions. I never offer advice unless requested. I get stopped often in the store, just randomly and find myself talking to people who actually ARE INTERESTED in natural hair...Those are the ones you should invest your time talking HAIR to.

(((HUGS)))

I totally agree with this and this is what I do too. My SIL has completely ruined her hair by leaving in braided extensions in for 6 months or more at a time and never caring for her hair underneath. It's matted, dry and balding in places. She's never ask a single question about my hair which has gone from dry, thin barely shoulder length relaxed hair to thick apl natural hair over the past three years. Random women in stores or airports have stopped me and I will write down my favorite sites for hair knowledge to help them on their HHJ. Close friends get a detailed stock email with my regimen, products and favorite sites. I am happy to share info on my HHJ, but folks have to approach me first.

After I share - its up to them to accept or reject that info.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using SPH-D700

 

[GoodMernin]

Who cares? Just do you.

That is what happens when you step out of the Matrix.

Remember...ignorance is bliss.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

<<HUGS>>

Girl bye. We all go through this in one form or another. I don't talk about hair unless someone asks me a question. Plus, I have a list of smart remarks ready for anyone that gets out of line.

This is the approach I take.

However, there are times when someone will ask you a question and follow that up with a veiled or obvious insult. Or they will just bring something else up about how they don't like your hair. I think where you live might make a difference too. My area doesn't have a lot of naturals so it still something of a novelty here.

OP, my advice to you is 1) dont' bring it up unless they do 2) if they bring it up and then start bringing negativity into it, change the topic of conversation 3) if they do it on a regular basis, stop talk to the person period or just look blank when they bring up hair.

Getting frustrated is going to do absolutely nothing but, well, get you frustrated.