What mistake(s) have you made repeatedly in the past?
What would you like to change?
Still trying to think of how to phrase mine...
This is ME to a tee......always willing to give before I'm given. Once my last LTR ended I vowed that the next dude was going too work for everything and then some......so far so good. I have also adopted a new style of communication which means it's about MY wants and needs. No longer trying to gauge if "he's into me or not" or "Am I doing the right thing by him". The summer of '08 has enlightened me too the point where I know that the right man will be able to handle these things and embrace me for the woman that I am.
Me too erplexed. I used to be like this. Tell me you dont want a girlfriend right now or your interested in any type of relationship for x, y and z reasons and you better believe I would stand there like I know u dont really mean it and of course you will love and want to be with me.
come to find out he wasnt lying and all I did was waste my time
Another problem is that I cant let go of people and I also cant forgive. So I can be in a relationship with someone and resent the ish out of them for what they did to me in the past and will NOT break up with them but instead be pissy to them at all times.
What mistake(s) have you made repeatedly in the past?
What would you like to change?
Still trying to think of how to phrase mine...
Shutting down/not communicating.
My largest problem is being unavailable. I can be very emotionally unavailable initially. I'm very guarded and protective of myself- which has protected me from a lot of hurt that many women experience- but I do need to open up and be a little bit more of a risk taker. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I also have a slight issue with commitment phobia. I want to be in a healthy LTR, but sometimes I am overwhelmed very easily and will find myself pulling back if Mr. gets too attached- especially when it happens very fast. Definitely have to work on that one.... The easiest/best way to accomplish this is to start off as friends and move very slowly. This is often a challenge, b/c when a guy really is interested romantically, they like to move quickly into relationships- this will drive me away.
I don't communicate my emotions/anger very well at all. I need time to process, think, and cool down- but a lot of times I fail to let the guy know this, so I'll just take as much time as I need (basically ignoring the person- without letting them know why) until I'm ready to discuss (I am the queen of the "straight up ignore"/silent treatment). . Bad, bad, I know. I do this with a lot of ppl when they cross me though- not just men, so this is something i need to work on for all of my relationships.
My largest problem is being unavailable. I can be very emotionally unavailable initially. I'm very guarded and protective of myself- which has protected me from a lot of hurt that many women experience- but I do need to open up and be a little bit more of a risk taker. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I also have a slight issue with commitment phobia. I want to be in a healthy LTR, but sometimes I am overwhelmed very easily and will find myself pulling back if Mr. gets too attached- especially when it happens very fast. Definitely have to work on that one.... The easiest/best way to accomplish this is to start off as friends and move very slowly. This is often a challenge, b/c when a guy really is interested romantically, they like to move quickly into relationships- this will drive me away.
I don't communicate my emotions/anger very well at all. I need time to process, think, and cool down- but a lot of times I fail to let the guy know this, so I'll just take as much time as I need (basically ignoring the person- without letting them know why) until I'm ready to discuss (I am the queen of the "straight up ignore"/silent treatment). . Bad, bad, I know. I do this with a lot of ppl when they cross me though- not just men, so this is something i need to work on for all of my relationships.
Getting emotionally attached to guys who are physically attractive and successful, even though they do nothing for me mentally and emotionally.
Being blinded by a guy's looks and success to the point that I allow my emotions, actions, and beliefs to be compromised, just to try to get a relationship to work with them.