need help

mcgheeola

mcgheeola

Well-Known Member
me and my so have been together for 6years but we dont act like we are together.we only see each other once a week and we hardly talk on the phone.he has 4 kids and i have 2 he's been married for 14 years he just got his own place like 3 months ago but i havent even seen his place yet.he all ways say ill see may be because he has 4 kids i understand that but his kids get every weekends and week days.i only see him once a week if that.what would you do if it was you?i have to go there a lot just for him to spend time with me or come over.
 
we have been throught this for awhile and i'm getting tired of this.he said he wants to married me but he said he's working on it.if you only see your man once a week and thats it and then you have to see if he can come over and the only thing he say is ill see then what?
 
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I think that kinda comes with the territory considering he's got four kids. He doesn't have time to really date anyone. :perplexed: You have to decide if you want to put up with that.
 
I don't know what to say...
I think you'd better move on girl, because he's not going to change. It's been 6 years!
Does that mean you've been his mistress up until 3 months ago?
When did he get a divorce?
I'm all confused.

If he really had his own place for 3 months and you haven't been there yet, I think he's seeing someone else - either the ex-wife or someone else.

In my experience, men that want to be serious move quickly. At least that's what I've seen. He's putting your life on hold. I'm sorry you're going through this.
 
I'm sorry, but this whole situation sounds very marginal and just plain trife.

You have a boyfriend for six years and y'all ain't married yet? Ain't even talking about getting married? He JUST got a place three months ago? Where was he before that?

He doesn't want to hardly see you and you call him a boyfriend?

You should have moved on a long time ago. This isn't even hardly a relationship.
 
I would break up with his ***! How in the world could that type of "relationship" lead to marriage?!
 
From what you are saying, this really does not sound like a serious relationship on his part.
Please find yourself someone who is going to call, spend qt time with you, take you out for dinner, interact with your children and you do the same with his etc. After six years together, this is as far as you both have gotten?
:nono: He is just wasting your time!
 
I'm SOOOOOO confused...Who was he living with before he moved out?

Let's just say that out of the 2 of you...you are the only one in a relationship, and I get the feeling that you already know this. You know what to do...
 
Hes playin wit u

Any situation or relationship people are in are good ones as long as both people are okay with it

Since u r reaching out sounds as if u arent okay with it and hes perfectly fine....if this is not ur ideal situation u will have to let go of it....he will either decide ur worth him makin a change or he will let u go or he will try to get u to be okay with how things r.....if somebody is really serious about marrying u u will be able to be around his kids...he will want u around them...not rotate u guys around...n if his wife is still in the picture makin that hard then they have unresolved issues that will be urs too if he really did marry u
 
How old are you all? He was married for 14yrs and now y'all been "together" for 6 years..that's 20yrs right there. Anyway if he is an older man, he knows what he wants and should act accordingly and he isn't showing any signs of being serious. He's probably seeing/sleeping with someone else.

Don't waste another day of your life on him ma'am.
 
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What would I do if it was me?

I'm dump him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.

I bet y'all hve sex errytime you see each other, though. :nono:

Wouldn't be me. :lol:
 
I don't see how you've been able to put up with this for so long. You set the groundwork early and haven't indicated through your actions that you deserve something better, so until you do so, this is what you'll get. Homie may have kids, but most people MAKE TIME for those that are important to them, I don't care if $$$ is tight. Do you think having him around is better than no man?
 
TayMac said:
How old are you all? He was married for 14yrs and now y'all been "together" for 6 years..that's 20yrs right there. Anyway if he is an older man, he knows what he wants and should act accordingly and he isn't showing any signs of being serious. He's probably seeing/sleeping with someone else.

Don't waste another day of your life on him ma'am.
Click to expand...

That's what I'm confused about... the age situation here... 14 years married, 6 years these two have been together... he just got a place of his own, so where was he living after his marriage and before he got his own place three months ago?
 
Bunny77 said:
That's what I'm confused about... the age situation here... 14 years married, 6 years these two have been together... he just got a place of his own, so where was he living after his marriage and before he got his own place three months ago?
Click to expand...

His Mama/family.
His 'boys'.
Some other chick.
Her.

Are there really any other options? :lachen:
 
Bunny77 said:
That's what I'm confused about... the age situation here... 14 years married, 6 years these two have been together... he just got a place of his own, so where was he living after his marriage and before he got his own place three months ago?
Click to expand...

I'm afraid that the answer might be that he was living with his ex-wife all this time :perplexed
 
TheLaurynDoll said:
Girl, he'd have been had you over if he really cared.

He's still married, or he's seeing someone. I don't care what he says
Click to expand...

This is what I think too. Homeboy has a live-in.

If I were you I would not waste anymore time with him. 6 years is too long to be someone's girlfriend (I'm assuming you two met when you both were adults). You are raising two children so you have to think about the example that you are setting for them.
 
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He does not want to marry you. There is very likely another woman. Don't believe the lies.
 
yea we have I'm so mad at all of this I keep telling him that I don't feel like we are in a relationship.
 
So was he living with you? Have you met his children? After six years, his kids cannot be an excuse for not spending time with you or at least calling through the week...y'all could be doing stuff all together from my standpoint.

And when he got his own place, I would think he would consult with you or be eager to show it off..something like that. You shouldn't have to beg your man to spend time with you. I'm sorry I don't see any bright notes in this situation.

Are all of his 4 kids with his ex wife?
 
He stayed with he's ex wife father he finally move out there.he said he wants to start over he's trying to see if he can make it on he's own and pay he's bills.so where do I come in at.
 
mcgheeola said:
He stayed with he's ex wife father he finally move out there.he said he wants to start over he's trying to see if he can make it on he's own and pay he's bills.so where do I come in at.
Click to expand...

Listen, you sound like a good person.
But if he
a. doesn't want to see you more than once a week after being together for 6 years
b. doesn't know if he can pay his bills
c. doesn't give you a clear answer when you can see him the next time
d. doesn't take you to see his new place even after 3 months

he clearly doesn't make you a priority in his life to put it mildly.

I think you should move on as soon as possible, there are plenty of good men out there!
 
Yes all his kids are by her I'm not doing anything on my side at all.but we do say we love each other sometimes.but we don't spend any time I don't think that he can do both .
 
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I'm 35 & he is 39 birthdays in the same month we are both tauruses.april 27 he's the 30.we get along ok but my patiences is running out like today.
 
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