Need advice; 6 year old crying wants straight hair

[dancinstallion]

I got tired of her asking me about next week. So I said "straightening your hair too much can make your hair fall out and make you bald! Do you want to be bald?" She said no.

Then about 30 mins later, She said "Mommy I don't want my hair straight anymore."

I will try to give her more versatile styles and keep the weave twists out.
Thanks ladies for all the good advice and tips! I really appreciate them all.

 

[Ivonnovi]

She got weave twists in because they last longer than her own twists and I didn't the time to do hair all the time because of my schedule. but now I have more time so I took the twists out.

The relaxer that she and I get is not a lye or no-lye relaxer so I don't consider it harsh relaxer. It can never burn the scalp, or hair so I thought this was a better, safer option for me to manage her hair. I would never put a hydroxide, Theo, etc in her hair. she had excessive shrinking before so this relaxer helped minimize the shrinkage. She still has a lot of shrinkage though.

Pet Peeve alert and CORRECTION. Please consider changing your vocabulary; it's not "shrinkage" it's her curl/coil pattern. When WET our hair shows it's natural curl pattern, then we style it to STRETCH it.

Perhaps this change in perception will plant the seed for her to embrace her hair whether it's in it's Stretched/Straight state or it's natural state which several of us erroneously refer to as Shrinkage....JMHO

 

[dancinstallion]

Pet Peeve alert and CORRECTION. Please consider changing your vocabulary; it's not "shrinkage" it's her curl/coil pattern. When WET our hair shows it's natural curl pattern, then we style it to STRETCH it.

Perhaps this change in perception will plant the seed for her to embrace her hair whether it's in it's Stretched/Straight state or it's natural state which several of us erroneously refer to as Shrinkage....JMHO

@Ivonnovi,

I apologize, I haven't been in the hair section in a very long time.
She likes her hair in it's regular state when I let her wear it down or with beads.

 

[HanaKuroi]

My advice is to stop putting that old, non-perm on her hair. That product is probably older than your daughter. It isn't safe to use old chemicals on anyone, especially a child.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[dancinstallion]

My advice is to stop putting that old, non-perm on her hair. That product is probably older than your daughter. It isn't safe to use old chemicals on anyone, especially a child.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

She hasn't gotten one since the first time last year. So I won't give her another one.

But what's the alternative to stop the excessive coiling? Blowouts?
I don't put heat on her hair so I am don't know about blowouts.
I'll have to research it.

 

[MileHighDiva]

dancinstallion

Have you checked out the Children's Hair Care forum to see what those ladies are doing with their DD's hair. I don't know how coily Froreal3's DD's hair is, but she always posts about grooming DD's hair and buying products for her, She doesn't do chemicals though!

 

[dancinstallion]

@dancinstallion

Have you checked out the Children's Hair Care forum to see what those ladies are doing with their DD's hair. I don't know how coily @Froreal3's DD's hair is, but she always posts about grooming DD's hair and buying products for her, She doesn't do chemicals though!

Thanks, I am definitely going to have to check it out because I need new ideas and techniques for low manipulation.

 

[Froreal3]

dancinstallion

Have you checked out the Children's Hair Care forum to see what those ladies are doing with their DD's hair. I don't know how coily Froreal3's DD's hair is, but she always posts about grooming DD's hair and buying products for her, She doesn't do chemicals though!

Did someone say coily?



and she is near MBL.

Sent from my Snow White Frost Galaxy S4

 

[Froreal3]

Thanks, I am definitely going to have to check it out because I need new ideas and techniques for low manipulation.

Come join us. :assimilat

 

[dancinstallion]

Did someone say coily?

View attachment 251611

and she is near MBL.

Sent from my Snow White Frost Galaxy S4

yes ma'am

I will check out your posts then pm you. Thanks for responding. I love your DD's hair. my DD has the same type.

 

[Froreal3]

dancinstallion I struggle with dd wanting to wear her hair "down" all the time. I recently got her this book. She loves the book.

I also tell her that wearing her hair down all the time is fine if she wants to have a lot of tangles and super short hair. I told her she can wear it down sometimes and wear it straight on special occasions.

Glad you put your foot down with dd. I would have told dd the same thing. Her hair looks cute in those twists. She doesn't need a perm right now.

 

[AmiJay]

FroReal, I am so getting my dd that book. Her favorite style is one puffy or two puffies. I do puffs when I'm being lazy but they are supercute. She wore two today. Couldn't tell her nothing! lol

 

[Froreal3]

AmiJay The book is so cute! DD can relate. Her exact words are, "I want to wear my hair down just like so and so type 1 or type 2 haired girl." I hope the author makes more in the series! DD read it all on her own in one sitting. It was too cute.

 

[dancinstallion]

DD just told me at school "no one called her a baby." I said see because you don't look like a baby. she said "sorry mama."

I think she was crying crocodile tears yesterday to try to see if she could get her way.

 

[Channy31]

What you should be asking is why does she seem to have a preference for straight hair over curly hair?
Do you really want her to cry because her hair is curly instead of straight?

If I were you (although everyone has their own opinion, please don't kill me) I would now avoid straightening and relaxing her hair.

She needs to learn that her curly/ shrinkage prone/ coily hair is beautiful.

Why do we consider some things/ people/ hair beautiful?
It's because beautiful things are more typical or familiar.

When we see a typical/familiar face we think it's beautiful, an unusual face is considered more ugly.
For example:
The first time I saw UGG boots I thought they were awful, as they got more popular I liked them more and more and even bought some.

Using this logic, the more she see's herself with her natural curly hair the more familiar and beautiful it will become.

 

[dancinstallion]

What you should be asking is why does she seem to have a preference for straight hair over curly hair?
Do you really want her to cry because her hair is curly instead of straight?

If I were you (although everyone has their own opinion, please don't kill me) I would now avoid straightening and relaxing her hair.

She needs to learn that her curly/ shrinkage prone/ coily hair is beautiful.

Why do we consider some things/ people/ hair beautiful?
It's because beautiful things are more typical or familiar.


Using this logic, the more she see's herself with her natural curly hair the more familiar and beautiful it will become.

I always try to get to the bottom of things when situations arise. So I can figure out if there is some underlying cause or a one time thing. I asked her already and she references the pic of me on the wall with my hair straightened. So she wants it like that because she see's that pic everyday.
She hasn't called any hairstyle ugly. Her classmate has natural very coily hair and she thinks that is cute hairstyle but doesn't want that style.

I don't think I am going to straighten it but I may do a blowout but that's it. Plus she already thinks her hair will fall out if she gets it straightened so case close for now.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

Frankly, she six. You decide what's done to her hair, not her.

I stopped relaxing my daughters' hair when they were 12 and 15. Both cried and complained at first. One chose to big chop with me and has been natural since and very happy at the growth and health of her hair now (BSL). The other chose to wear her hair flat-ironed and also is quite thrilled and her length and growth (BSL until she cut to shoulder length a few months ago). Neither desire a relaxer. Had I given in to their protests, neither would likely have what they have now. My baby, also seven, is natural. Everyone in the house is, so for her, it's the norm. She doesn't often ask to have her hair straightened, but when she does, I oblige her. Stick to your principles. She will survive, and most likely will thank you later. My daughters have