Naturals: Would You be Offended..

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Ok, so last year I went to BCT (army bootcamp) and I became close with one particular female. Anyway, she and I are both naturals. So, fast forward to last week. We were catching up and she was reminding me of her visit up to my city. She and her son are going to be staying with me for a few days, which I'm really looking forward to.

So, anyway she was looking at my profile (we're talking on FB) and she's like:
My Friend: "Battle, wow your hair is getting so long. I want you to help me get some products like what you have when I get up there. My hair isn't growing."
ME: Ok sure, we can do that. I got a ton of stuff here that may work for you
(keep in mind I told her a year ago what I was using and how she could get it..she just never did)
My Friend: Ok, sounds good. When I get up there I want you to do something with my hair too. I dont want you doing it like how you got it in your profile pic though, lol"
ME: Well, if you dont like how I style my hair why you want me to do it?

This kind of left me scratching my head. Its like a compliment and a diss all in one. On one end, you love the progress of my hair growth - yet the way I wear my hair isn't to your liking..

Thoughts/opinions

eta: I know some dont like the phrasing of male/female but I say it in a non-derogatory sense.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Her noting your hair growing is one thing.

Maybe she just doesn't like that particular style. Trust me, if your hair was ALWAYS a mess in her eyes, she would NOT trust you to do it! Not that she hates that style either, probably isn't her cup of tea or how she wants it!

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Her noting your hair growing is one thing.

Maybe she just doesn't like that particular style. Trust me, if your hair was ALWAYS a mess in her eyes, she would NOT trust you to do it! Not that she hates that style either, probably isn't her cup of tea or how she wants it!

I know..but thats how I used to always wear it (twist out) I'm doing the C&G right now, so twistout/braidouts are pretty non-existant for me now.

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

Maybe she just doesn't like that particular style? A lot of my friends love my curls and the growth I'm getting, but they hate that I wear it the same way all the time. They always say,
"Gurrrll, if I had your hair, I would do all sorts of stuff to it!"

and a little devilish question will always pop up, " So you won't have any hair left?" I never say it, but I want to so badly sometimes....

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

erplexed

Perhaps she meant, she didn't want you to style it the same way so that it wouldn't look like she was copying your signature style? Or she doesn't believe that style would flatter her but she knows that you're a great DIY stylist.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I agree with the others, I see No Harm.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I know..but thats how I used to always wear it (twist out) I'm doing the C&G right now, so twistout/braidouts are pretty non-existant for me now.

I still wouldn't take offense. She's allowed not to like how you wear your hair as a style she'd want personally. I bet she knows you have the skills to do HER hair to her liking!

Now if she added on "Cause girrrl..." *insert insult about how your hair looks unkept, a mess, unattractive* THEN I'd be offended. But "Can you do my hair? Just not like how you have yours" probably wasn't her attempt at being nicety. Just letting you know not like yours.

You did say you wear your hair like that very often. Maybe she felt the need to say "I know that's how you ALWAYS do your hair, but something different for me!"

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

erplexed

Perhaps she meant, she didn't want you to style it the same way so that it wouldn't look like she was copying your signature style? Or she doesn't believe that style would flatter her but she knows that you're a great DIY stylist.

HONEY, I really wish that was the case. I cannot do hair for the life of me..which I guess is why I'm surprised she wants me to do her hair in the first place.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Thanks for the responses ladies..I been pretty sensitive today lol...

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

LOL, but really we're our own worst critics.

When I was relaxed I would put spiral curls in my hair everyday (using a hot curling iron ... eek!) and I was amazed at how many compliments I got on it. People would always ask who I went to, what salon, etc. I'd be like "Um...me....in my kitchen."

You could be a fabulous DIY stylist and not even know it

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

Thanks for the responses ladies..I been pretty sensitive today lol...

Aaaaw do you need a hug?

 

[sleepflower]

I do not think I would be offended, unless her tone of voice indicated something...like if she sounded disgusted or so. I guess I sympathise because this is how my family and I communicate about our natural hair, but we do tend to explain what we mean.

eta I hope you feel better!

 

[song_of_serenity]

*HUGS*
Sometimes we can take things the wrong way depending on our current mood. Unless she was trying to be sly with her tone as sleepflower said, let it not bother you!

You said she's close to you and even so close her and her son and staying with you! I'm sure she wouldn't hurt you on purpose.

 

[Whimsy]

Aw. Don't take offense. She's diggin your hair, just not the style. I hope you guys have a nice visit and she takes your advice/suggestions this time so her hair can thrive like yours