Naturals: will you EVER go back to a relaxer?

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Whatever

This is my observation and opinion from being on the boards for years. Heck, I can see it up and through some of the replies in this thread.

Did I say that your opinion was anything but one? It certainly wasn't a fact; thus, it was quite obvious what it was. It is one that is trying to avoid actually using the phrase while still conveying the message. You are more than invited to post your opinion (hence the post thread/post reply button). Excuse the snarkiness. But, I get frustrated .

In other words, if you are anything but a 4b, it's okay to go natural. But, if you are a 4b, oh lawd, you must use a relaxer because self-acceptance will not be your forte.

That kind of thinking is sad and "crab-in-the-barrel-ish". I mean, I love my people and all; but, we're our own worse enemy. No need to worry about the "man" since our brothers/sisters are more than happy to pick up the regressive slack.

 

[femmedusiecle]

yup

And personallllyyy, in MY opinion, in many of the "what's my hair type" threads, the person asking is only trying to ensure that they're NOT a certain type.

not even! for the most part, i think they already know their hair type but they just want attention drawn to it! like, how can u NOT know ur a type 3 with a big *** curl in ur head? oh...that's right...finding out if ur an a, b, or c makes a huuuuuuge difference....

all jokes aside, i wish i could hear more, "omg ur kinks are so gorgeous! I'd KILL to have a head full of kinks like yours!!"

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Okay, I was the one who posted about hair types initially in this thread. @chrisanddonniesmommy, I don't believe in good hair and bad hair. My hair is Type 4b, thick, and easily APL without doing anything special to it. That was true when I was natural and it's true now as a relaxed head. (I've also never experienced a single thin or bald spot as a result of relaxing, but that's another story. My major problem with relaxers is the use of chemicals whether my hair/scalp is damaged or not) Needless to say, I don't believe in the good/bad hair hype. Moreover, how am I going to call the hair that God gave me bad? My hair is uber nappy and gorgeous when styled natural or relaxed.

All I am saying is that it's a little more difficult for a 4b to maintain natural hair than a 3a-4a. Moreover, I am wondering aloud would the responses be the same in this thread if the majority of the people commenting were 4b. Even in this thread, most of the people commenting DO NOT have 4b hair. If I am wrong, then I will stand corrected. I just haven't seen that I am wrong yet.

I won't discount your feelings at all. If you feel that way, it's the responsibility of the LHCF community to make you feel comfortable being kinky (myself included). I'm sorry if you do feel that way. Look, I'm not one to believe that hair is just hair since we have so many politics tied to it. It's not something to easily write off like skin color. Hopefully, other 4bs will come out of their boxes and speak up!

If I'm coming off as "Stand and Deliver-ish", I can't help it. I teach high school and I spend the entire day sometimes convincing unknowingly beautiful girls that they are beautiful, not ugly. I get up in arms.

 

[EllePixie]

not even! for the most part, i think they already know their hair type but they just want attention drawn to it! like, how can u NOT know ur a type 3 with a big *** curl in ur head? oh...that's right...finding out if ur an a, b, or c makes a huuuuuuge difference....

all jokes aside, i wish i could hear more, "omg ur kinks are so gorgeous! I'd KILL to have a head full of kinks like yours!!"

I definitely am not disagreeing with ANY of your last few posts, I see it ALLLL the time. I think that those are the people who will go back to a relaxer if they don't see the results they want. But - at the same time, I do think that with some women there is a bit of a "growing" process that comes with natural hair. I have often seen women strive for NO frizz and perfectly formed coils/curls at the beginning of their journey, then they learn to let it go a bit - I think that comes with being comfortable with wearing your hair natural. When I first decided to stop relaxing, I looked at a lot of pics of curly hair and my inspiration album was full of them...then, I decided that wasn't such a good idea because I didn't want to cut all my hair off and be surprised and/or disappointed, so I began looking at ALL types of hair and realized I just love big hair. I agree with mango387 about styling time...however, not every 4b takes hours and hours to detangle, so I can't comment on it on a general level.

 

[mango387]

I won't discount your feelings at all. If you feel that way, it's the responsibility of the LHCF community to make you feel comfortable being kinky (myself included). I'm sorry if you do feel that way. Look, I'm not one to believe that hair is just hair since we have so many politics tied to it. It's not something to easily write off like skin color. Hopefully, other 4bs will come out of their boxes and speak up!

If I'm coming off as "Stand and Deliver-ish", I can't help it. I teach high school and I spend the entire day sometimes convincing unknowingly beautiful girls that they are beautiful, not ugly. I get up in arms.

I'm comfortable having kinky hair. It's just very time-consuming and expensive. Imagine me going into salon with 4b APL or longer hair. You can hear the sighs and see the dollar signs multiply. In fact, I have literally walked out of one salon that catered to natural hair, because the sylist was acting like my hair was from hell. I don't pay to get insulted by anyone. Again, this was in a natural salon.

At any rate, I like my hair and plan on going natural again in the near future. I would not do this if I hated my hair. I appreciate the spirit of your post, and I would love if my future children had a teacher who reaffirmed their natural beauty.

 

[SmileyNY]

Yes, I will! ...Oops, I already did lol... *slowly backs out of thread*


*pops back in* But before I go, I'd just like to share that I was natural for 8 years. I loved it! I'm texlaxed now. I love it!

*exits stage left*


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[PinkGirlFluff]

I have never had a jerry curl and NEVER will unless my life depended on it. I feel the same way about relaxers. I plan to never do it again. I really love my hair. Eight plus months of romance is not something I can easily throw away. My husband even looks at me crazy when I say I'm going to straighten my hair at my year mark just to see the full length. He's goes, "You are going back to the fro right?"

Other than my love of my hair, I spend less time on my hair as a natural. Imagine that!? lol. Yes, detangling can take a while. Doing twist for a twist out for a twa can take a while. But once all of that is done, I'm good for days. I just fluff out and go. I never thought I could go natural until I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I like that I can really wash and go when I'm having not so good days. When I have good days I can get through twisting my hair and wear a twist out for a week.

I'm not an all natural mother earth girl and I am for folks getting relaxers if they want. My preference is to do what is best for my lifestyle. Since Fibromyalgia is probably going to be apart of my life forever, so will natural hair. It just works best for me!

Happy Hair Growing Everyone!

 

[Britt]

Somewhat common threads:
"I'm transitioning and I can't wait to see my curl pattern!"
"Guys, is this a curl???"
"OMG, I have waves!!"
"Oh no, is this scab hair???"
"Guys, I don't think I have a curl pattern >("
"Any gel recommendations to pop curls that don't naturally exist?"
"Shingling, anyone?"
"I know there's a million hair typing threads but...what's my hair type?!"
"I'm a frustrated newbie natural with no curl pattern! Help!! Is something wrong with my hair?!"

the list is endless....

This is exactly what I'm saying... these are the threads that I see on here constantly... I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just stating what is. When I wrote my response, these are the thread topics that came to mind.

yup

And personallllyyy, in MY opinion, in many of the "what's my hair type" threads, the person asking is only trying to ensure that they're NOT a certain type.

I agree with this - wholeheartedly.

Did I say that your opinion was anything but one? It certainly wasn't a fact; thus, it was quite obvious what it was. It is one that is trying to avoid actually using the phrase while still conveying the message. You are more than invited to post your opinion (hence the post thread/post reply button). Excuse the snarkiness. But, I get frustrated .

In other words, if you are anything but a 4b, it's okay to go natural. But, if you are a 4b, oh lawd, you must use a relaxer because self-acceptance will not be your forte.

That kind of thinking is sad and "crab-in-the-barrel-ish". I mean, I love my people and all; but, we're our own worse enemy. No need to worry about the "man" since our brothers/sisters are more than happy to pick up the regressive slack.

All I'm saying is that I notice that a lot of ppl who decide to go natural have some anticipation or concern on what their hair will look like. As they grow out their relaxer, and some may realize "ooh, I have a curl pattern" they might be more inclined to continue to go natural. I say this b/c of the first quote above. If you notice, there are tons of threads on this board asking relating to the topics listed above. This is really not that deep or serious to me so I don't really understand why you are coming at me w/a crabs in a barrel mentality whe. I simply stated my observation about some of the threads on this board. I'm stating my opinion from my observations on the board. And for that matter, I have tons of RESPECT for 4b's who go natural and don't give a flying **** what anyone thinks about their hair type !!!!!! My initial response was not about who should go natural.

 

[Britt]

not even! for the most part, i think they already know their hair type but they just want attention drawn to it! like, how can u NOT know ur a type 3 with a big *** curl in ur head? oh...that's right...finding out if ur an a, b, or c makes a huuuuuuge difference....

all jokes aside, i wish i could hear more, "omg ur kinks are so gorgeous! I'd KILL to have a head full of kinks like yours!!"

Agreeeddddd.....

 

[godsflowerrr]

No way. This time I'll be natural 4eva!

 

[RegaLady]

Somewhat common threads:
"I'm transitioning and I can't wait to see my curl pattern!"
"Guys, is this a curl???"
"OMG, I have waves!!"
"Oh no, is this scab hair???"
"Guys, I don't think I have a curl pattern >("
"Any gel recommendations to pop curls that don't naturally exist?"
"Shingling, anyone?"
"I know there's a million hair typing threads but...what's my hair type?!"
"I'm a frustrated newbie natural with no curl pattern! Help!! Is something wrong with my hair?!"

the list is endless....

I swear this is news to me. But people don't know their hair is 'nappy'? I mean, they seriously go back to relaxer if it ain't 3b or 3c? Wooowwwerplexed I can understand that if they said it was alot to manage or they liked the easy of wearing it straight, but because its not wavy? Interesting.

 

[Lucie]

I fluctuate. There are so many things I want to do but don't have enough length yet. Also, I am not a weave/wig wearer. I am going to hang on until my birthday in July. I will reevaluate after. It's not like even if I relaxed now anyway, I could do a ton of styles.

 

[Carisa]

I swear this is news to me. But people don't know their hair is 'nappy'? I mean, they seriously go back to relaxer if it ain't 3b or 3c? Wooowwwerplexed I can understand that if they said it was alot to manage or they liked the easy of wearing it straight, but because its not wavy? Interesting.

exactly! I would think people would have some kinda clue about thier hair type just by looking at their new growth before going natural.

 

[ilah]

Ladies on this forum have proved time and time again that one can have healthy hair and be Relaxed at the same time. Ladies have also proven one can have healthy hair while being Natural....

I've thought about relaxing but every time my next thought is....I can just go get it pressed. I'm really not wanting to put the harsh relaxers on MY scalp again. Plus when It comes time for me to have a little one of my own I want my child to grow up with a Natural Mother. The Boyfriend would just die if I relaxed my hair, he loves my natural hair.

 

[KimPossibli]

wandering in because of another thread... ...

I'm in the never say never camp.. however.. I think its unlikely..

I reverted to relaxer 2 years ago for a sillly (I now realise) reason.

I have never been confident in handling relaxed hair myself and I feeel personally uncomfortable with it for some personal reasons.

I seriously became dependent on my hairdresser. then they closed doors for renovation and had some significant staff changes with some ridiculous drama attached.. I tried two other hair dressers until eventually i said f. it. I need to take control of my own progress and I felt more comfortable with that with natural hair. I'm not fully natural yet. I'm still transitioning but I don't think I will seriously consider relaxer again.

 

[newme2003]

There are times when I miss the look but I just don't miss the hassle of getting my hair done. I always hated the smells associated with hair salons, the wait and just the general length of time the process took. So no it's just not worth it for me.

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

exactly! I would think people would have some kinda clue about thier hair type just by looking at their new growth before going natural.

You think that would be the case but I have seen this scenario happen over and over again on this board. Someone will begin to transition. Then she starts looking at fotkis and youtube for inspiration. She finds a hair idol and continues to transition hoping her hair might be similar to her idol. Then she starts a thread showing 2 - 3 inches of manipulated new growth(usually stretched from styling). She receives a range of answers from 3c - 4b. She decides she is a 3c because her newgrowth has noticeable coils or has waves when smoothed into a bun (type 4 hair can do both of these things check poohbear's fotki). She procedes to cut off her relaxed ends and finds out that her hair shrinks more than expected and those defined clumped 3c curls that she was hoping for do not exist. Then she procedes to spend money on curl defining products. Then she starts threads like "How to define my curls?", "Where are my curls?", "why doesn't my hair hang?", "My hair is defined when wet but the curls disappear when my hair is dry, what am I doing wrong?", "Do I have scab hair?" etc.... (note on scab hair, if you have been natural for 18 months or more, it is most likely your natural texture not scab hair). Then she relaxes/texturizes due to "shrinkage", "it's too hard to mange" or "single strand knots".

It's cycle I have seen repeated with many different members over the past few years.

 

[femmedusiecle]

You think that would be the case but I have seen this scenario happen over and over again on this board. Someone will begin to transition. Then she starts looking at fotkis and youtube for inspiration. She finds a hair idol and continues to transition hoping her hair might be similar to her idol. Then she starts a thread showing 2 - 3 inches of manipulated new growth(usually stretched from styling). She receives a range of answers from 3c - 4b. She decides she is a 3c because her newgrowth has noticeable coils or has waves when smoothed into a bun (type 4 hair can do both of these things check poohbear's fotki). She procedes to cut off her relaxed ends and finds out that her hair shrinks more than expected and those defined clumped 3c curls that she was hoping for do not exist. Then she procedes to spend money on curl defining products. Then she starts threads like "How to define my curls?", "Where are my curls?", "why doesn't my hair hang?", "My hair is defined when wet but the curls disappear when my hair is dry, what am I doing wrong?", "Do I have scab hair?" etc.... (note on scab hair, if you have been natural for 18 months or more, it is most likely your natural texture not scab hair). Then she relaxes/texturizes due to "shrinkage", "it's too hard to mange" or "single strand knots".

It's cycle I have seen repeated with many different members over the past few years.

Exxxxactttttllly!!! at the bolded.

 

[ToyToy]

I've been natural for over 5 years now. I don't plan on relaxing again (never say never) because ,y skin is so sensitive, and I always used to get burned.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Sorry I hit the wrong one i thought it was saying No that I will not be relaxing. Didn't read the question fully until it was too late.

But my answer YES I WILL NEVER RELAX MY HAIR AGAIN!!!!

My hair is much better off being natural, i actually have grown it alot better than it would ever be when it was relaxed. Its hard work having a relaxer and it does require upkeep, especially with my type of hair(thin and fine).....It is still slow growin and of course I have setbacks and i still have to be careful because just because im natural doesnt mean i can do any and everything to my head. But I'm happy to be chemical free!!!

I think I've been natural for 3 1/2 years now...I just know i stopped getting relaxers after august 2007!

 

[Carisa]

You think that would be the case but I have seen this scenario happen over and over again on this board. Someone will begin to transition. Then she starts looking at fotkis and youtube for inspiration. She finds a hair idol and continues to transition hoping her hair might be similar to her idol. Then she starts a thread showing 2 - 3 inches of manipulated new growth(usually stretched from styling). She receives a range of answers from 3c - 4b. She decides she is a 3c because her newgrowth has noticeable coils or has waves when smoothed into a bun (type 4 hair can do both of these things check poohbear's fotki). She procedes to cut off her relaxed ends and finds out that her hair shrinks more than expected and those defined clumped 3c curls that she was hoping for do not exist. Then she procedes to spend money on curl defining products. Then she starts threads like "How to define my curls?", "Where are my curls?", "why doesn't my hair hang?", "My hair is defined when wet but the curls disappear when my hair is dry, what am I doing wrong?", "Do I have scab hair?" etc.... (note on scab hair, if you have been natural for 18 months or more, it is most likely your natural texture not scab hair). Then she relaxes/texturizes due to "shrinkage", "it's too hard to mange" or "single strand knots".

It's cycle I have seen repeated with many different members over the past few years.

ur absolutly right! I forget about this!

 

[Afrobuttafly]

The only way I will be relaxed again is if someone ties me up and forcefully applies a relaxer to my hair. And that jank betta be lethal, because if I survive... IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN. *Kevin hart voice*

 

[RegaLady]

You think that would be the case but I have seen this scenario happen over and over again on this board. Someone will begin to transition. Then she starts looking at fotkis and youtube for inspiration. She finds a hair idol and continues to transition hoping her hair might be similar to her idol. Then she starts a thread showing 2 - 3 inches of manipulated new growth(usually stretched from styling). She receives a range of answers from 3c - 4b. She decides she is a 3c because her newgrowth has noticeable coils or has waves when smoothed into a bun (type 4 hair can do both of these things check poohbear's fotki). She procedes to cut off her relaxed ends and finds out that her hair shrinks more than expected and those defined clumped 3c curls that she was hoping for do not exist. Then she procedes to spend money on curl defining products. Then she starts threads like "How to define my curls?", "Where are my curls?", "why doesn't my hair hang?", "My hair is defined when wet but the curls disappear when my hair is dry, what am I doing wrong?", "Do I have scab hair?" etc.... (note on scab hair, if you have been natural for 18 months or more, it is most likely your natural texture not scab hair). Then she relaxes/texturizes due to "shrinkage", "it's too hard to mange" or "single strand knots".

It's cycle I have seen repeated with many different members over the past few years.

Interesting...See, thats a problem to me. I personally won't look at fotkis that do not have the same hair type as me. Going to 3a, 3b, 3c hair types and hoping your hair will turn out like that is getting your hopes up. There are plenty fotkis of 4a, 4b, 4c hair that look just as great and grow just as long.

 

[humility1990]

I will never relax my hair again. I love my natural hair so much more than my relaxed hair. I personally believe that relaxers are dangerous and over time affect our health in ways we haven't even began to quantify. I believe as the economy gets worse and companies begin to see their profit margins deteriorate due to increase in raw material prices then even more dangerous and cheaper chemicals than are currently being used will be used. As MJ said " they don't really care about us"

 

[glamazon386]

Nope. Natural for life.

 

[MsJellie]

I'd have to say no, I have no plans of going back to a relaxer. I know what works for natural hair (leaving it alone, especially while it's too short for a pony). I figure, once it gets long enough for a cute pony/bun, it'll get even easier to leave it alone and let it grow!

 

[so1913]

Last relaxer was in 2002...haven't straightened in over 1 year...I think its safe to say I won't be turning back.

 

[TootiePie]

I have been natural for 17 months and my hair has never been this healthy. I love being a natural and I really don't forsee me trading in my curls for a permanent relaxed look. If I ever did decide to relax, I am sure my hair will be alot healthier the 2nd time around due to everything I learned about hair care on this forum.

 

[ycj1]

Honestly, I would'nt relax again if someone offered to pay me. It's just not worth it! why would I......so I would end up cutting it all off again later to start over? No I don't think so. I'll pass

 

[MekyakaKinkerbelle]

I have to be honest...I'm strongly contemplating it.

I've been natural for, I don't know, 7 years or so. Have had multiple BCs. I'm near waist length or so and I just cannot handle the hair. I love the length, but my ish is thick, thick, thick and a little mo' thick. There are definitely some out there that are thicker, and I tip my hat to them.

But with two kids, a full time job and about to start a doctorate program, I need something that's a little less maintenance. And if I don't stay on top of my hair, it will dread, knot, twist and everything in between.

That being said, I'm stuck on buns for the moment. But yeah, I think about breaking down from time to time.