Naturals: Where you ever EMBARASSED of your hair or TEXTURE?

[poetist]

Yes, I have been embarrased by my natural hair. When I first went natural, it was because I was always in braids and wasn't getting timely touch ups, so I cut off the relaxed ends and let my hair grow with braids. Without any real knowledge or effort, I grew my hair to a nice length - maybe slightly past shoulder length which was the longest it had ever been.

I was living in NY at the time and went home to Cali just for a visit. I had taken my braids out and was going to get a weave or something. I was really proud of my hair and thought that others would embrace it...that is until my mom walked in the bathroom and said "Oh no. Look at my baby's hair." She convinced me to get a perm and once it was straight, she was like, "Girl, that nappy mess had to go." My mom is really sweet, so it wasn't like she was purposefully trying to hurt my feelings - she was just speaking her truth. To her nappy hair was a no go and it made me feel self conscious.

Years later, I went natural again and thankfully found LHCF and other hair forums. I grew my hair out with lace wigs and underneath the wigs, learned to love my texture. But it seems like when I wore my natural hair out, people who knew me didn't react positively. It was like, I had gone from a sassy diva to a social activist. Now that I am pregnant and its hot, I wear my natural hair out much more, but its frustrating that my DH doesnt really like it and that my dad called me "Whoopi" when I wore what I thought was a superfly style. So at times like that, I do get self conscious about my hair, but its whatever...

 

[bludaydreamr]

you don't have anything to be ashamed of, imo. i think many naturals still go through this and many relaxed heads. many people are continually told there are characteristics that are ugly and do things so that they never have to face the fact they may have some of them. when you go natural, many have to do so and it's hard. it's not easy to teach yourself to love sometime that people told you was ugly for so long.

personally speaking, i don't think i've ever disliked my texture but i used to be sensitive to how some people would react to it. there was not really much to fear though since i found that people didn't really care. when the rare disapproving comments about it arrived (in the form of asking when i was going to relax/tex or trying to persuade me to do so), i did my best to brush it off. i'm at the stage where i don't care.

the biggest struggle for me was length; it was due to having very short hair that i thought my hair was ugly at certain stages. i still sometimes think that my length is an issue.

yes, that was my experience. what would the others say!

I have never cared much about how others viewed me. When I began my transition I had a reoccurring dream about self relaxing; which made me feel , that is when I knew this was going to be mental as well.

My mother asked if I was going to wear an afro. erplexedMy sisters were making fun of me telling me I was going to put a relaxer in it the first chance I got! Now they know I am serious and they are supportive. My younger sister well be a 12 months post relaxer next month, and her hair has not been this long since childhood.

As soon as I did my big chop; I loved it because it looked so right to me. I have had negative comments, but I'm happy so even if my SO didn't like it he would have to deal with it, or kick rocks! My biggest issue now is that I can't see my length. I know it's called shrinkage, but I have always had SL hair. KCc you said it best!

 

[Candycane044]

Never. I like my hair and so far, most everyone else likes it too. the negative stuff (very minor) always came from black folk. Other colored folks are fascinated by my naps. It's very interesting.

I have never had issues in the confidence department. I know I'm fly and you should know it too. ( I kid... a little)

I noticed this too..it seems like we are our own worst critics. But to answer the thread, no I haven't been embarassed at all. On the other hand I've been concerned of what others thought. My dad has always been supportive of natural hair in fact him and my mom got into a big fight when she relaxed my hair. But besides him everyone else around me says the most ignorant things. They can be so unbearable and ridiculous. But, as I've gotten older I've learned that it doesn't matter what they think. It's my hair and I can do whatever I please with it. Who gives a rat's arse if they don't like the way it looks. It's just so interesting that all other races are ooing over my hair but my fellow people look at my like I'm crazy when I walk around with a puff.

 

[Ms Lala]

Yes I have been. I was natural in high school but I wore my hair pressed ALL of the time. I relaxed before going to college so I didn't have to deal w/my natural texture. When I stopped relaxing again I was self-conscious at first about what others would think. It took me about a month of wearing my hair natural again to get comfortable with it. I think part of my issue was that it was short because I cut it off.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

No I was not...

 

[Ms Lala]

I noticed this too..it seems like we are our own worst critics. But to answer the thread, no I haven't been embarassed at all. On the other hand I've been concerned of what others thought. My dad has always been supportive of natural hair in fact him and my mom got into a big fight when she relaxed my hair. But besides him everyone else around me says the most ignorant things. They can be so unbearable and ridiculous. But, as I've gotten older I've learned that it doesn't matter what they think. It's my hair and I can do whatever I please with it. Who gives a rat's arse if they don't like the way it looks. It's just so interesting that all other races are ooing over my hair but my fellow people look at my like I'm crazy when I walk around with a puff.

OT- you are workin' that dress in your siggy!!!

 

[BlueNile]

Yes I have been. I was natural in high school but I wore my hair pressed ALL of the time. I relaxed before going to college so I didn't have to deal w/my natural texture. When I stopped relaxing again I was self-conscious at first about what others would think. It took me about a month of wearing my hair natural again to get comfortable with it. I think part of my issue was that it was short because I cut it off.

My goodness what an amazing puff you have!! Awesome!

 

[Ganjababy]

I have to say I love LHCF. There is always someone who express what I have experienced. When I cut my hair recently I felt embarrassed regarding my hair as it looked horrible to me. I was embarrased that I was embarrased (if you know what I mean) I was brought up to know better. So I was very surprised at my reaction and had to do some reflection. I have had my hair relaxed since I was 13 and was not used to my natural hair. I hated the texture, appearance and colour, though I would not admit it to anyone. However I persevered as relaxing is no longer an option for me and I hate extensions. It did not help when someone told me that I looked like someone out of roots or some old slave musical! I realised that I was not styling my hair properly and was not conditioning it enough so it did look rough and dry, plus I am anemic so it is a odd looking unhealthy colour. I am now happy with my nappy hair and it is starting to look much healthier. I now realise that the ugly look was because I was not caring for it properly. I still have some relaxed ends and cant wait to trim the rest off. I have embraced my naps now and learning to care for it.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

I was only embarrassed of my hair when i had a perm. I would get a perm and go to school the next day and my friend would make fun of me because my hair would never get straight. She'd always say, 'Didn't you just get a perm yesterday? pause... No you didn't! I see all those lil waves and crinklies!' Lol i got over it. I like my hair now.

 

[MysteryMe]

This is a wonderful thread and excellent question OP-Thanks

 

[Silver]

No I haven't been embarassed about the texture, more so the length. I always used a blow dryer to it was semi straight. I wore braids alot, and what embarassed me was my texture not matching my weave when I was trying that out. My cousins, now they may have bothered me but when my hair grew long one time, they had to shut up and admire. I have been natural way longer than the handful of times I relaxed, I just wanted to be able to deal with what grows out of my head and will always be growing out of my head like that. And now I'm in university most of the Black girls are natural, and my friends make fun of my sister for relaxing, We were once planning on all wearing puffs to school one day, and there are alot of us, there was even a really light skinned girl with blue eyes, light brown Natural hair in a fro almost everyday even though her hair was soft and she could have worn it other ways. And alot of the girls in my school had healthy natural or relaxed hair. That's why I had to step my game up, couldn't be the only one wearing braids all the time.

I feel sad for the people who are ashamed, not in a bad way but in a way that I wish I could help. My words and experiences are not the same as yours so it just can't help, when parents are hounding you about bad texture etc. My mom loves my natural hair and tells me to wear a fro and my dad doesn't care about anyone's hair in the house. I completely understand if constantly hearing stereotypes made you feel a certain way. I think at least you were brave enough to try if you decide you don't like it (alot of people don't like their hair, at least we can change ours), and you may come to love it as did others.

 

[frankie]

I got my first relaxer at age 12...seventh grade. I was very aware of my texture before I decided to transition. I didn't think I would look right wearing it out in its natural state, not because of the texture, but because I was never allowed to do so growing up...it was always braided, in ponytails or pressed. I thought it looked good on other people that have my hair texture, but I didn't think it would look good on me. <---yep, I'm vain.

So imagine my pleasant surprise when I washed it after my chop and it looked good in all its nappy afro (twa) glory. I like the way my hair looks, that's all that matters...It just so happens that others like the look too.

I my

 

[glamazon386]

Yep... It took me a while to get comfortable with it.

 

[joyandfaith]

I was embarrased and ashamed of my relaxed hair. Since i've been natural I walk around with confidence ooozing from evevry pore. It was like a weight had been lifted and I am finally free to be me!

I agree 100% I look back and realize that I was embarrassed of my relaxed hair because it was dry, broken off and had no body. I'm loving life now with natural hair. I get way more compliments now than I ever did relaxed.

 

[Hairsofab]

I still struggle with this but I haven't straightened in a while. I've worn dreads, afros, and I'm natural right now in braids. But I will be honest, I still struggle with thinking my hair is bad because it is nappy. Sometimes I wish I just had hair I could put a wide tooth comb through.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

No I haven't been embarassed about the texture, more so the length. I always used a blow dryer to it was semi straight. I wore braids alot, and what embarassed me was my texture not matching my weave when I was trying that out. My cousins, now they may have bothered me but when my hair grew long one time, they had to shut up and admire. I have been natural way longer than the handful of times I relaxed, I just wanted to be able to deal with what grows out of my head and will always be growing out of my head like that. And now I'm in university most of the Black girls are natural, and my friends make fun of my sister for relaxing, We were once planning on all wearing puffs to school one day, and there are alot of us, there was even a really light skinned girl with blue eyes, light brown Natural hair in a fro almost everyday even though her hair was soft and she could have worn it other ways. And alot of the girls in my school had healthy natural or relaxed hair. That's why I had to step my game up, couldn't be the only one wearing braids all the time.

I feel sad for the people who are ashamed, not in a bad way but in a way that I wish I could help. My words and experiences are not the same as yours so it just can't help, when parents are hounding you about bad texture etc. My mom loves my natural hair and tells me to wear a fro and my dad doesn't care about anyone's hair in the house. I completely understand if constantly hearing stereotypes made you feel a certain way. I think at least you were brave enough to try if you decide you don't like it (alot of people don't like their hair, at least we can change ours), and you may come to love it as did others.

Nice! Sounds like a school I would have loved to go to!

 

[Candycane044]

OT- you are workin' that dress in your siggy!!!

OT-thank you Ms. Lala ! To all the ladies that said they were embarassed..what helped you get over your embarassment? (just out of curiousity)

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I was embarrassed not by my natural hair, but by my inability to care for it. My natural hair looked dry and dull and I could not style it at all. My desire is to one day be natural, but can't see me ever doing a BC again. I really love natural hair more than relaxed, but for the time being I am relaxed.

 

[Newtogrow]

Absolutely, I wouldn't leave the house sometimes because my hair was a nappy mess.

On one day I would have a cute afro the next day it would be a hot mess with uncontrollable bed head.

Unpredictable was my natural hair. I would end up wetting it in the shower and putting a band around my woolly mass.

 

[klowdnyne]

I am not embarassed by my texture, but I am embarassed about my lack of ability in styling/managing it. Although I've been natural about 5 years, I'm still clueless on styling. I envy those who work their hair whether it's wavy, curly or kinky.

 

[natstar]

Wow-OP thanks for bringing this up. I have been struggling with this since I've been natural. I still get embarrassed and ashamed at my hair sometimes and it's honestly because of the texture with the lack of thickness. I always wish that i had either really kinky hair that was really coarse and thick or I could accept wavy, curly hair that was a little thin. But it's hard accepting my hair being fine/thin and kinky (moreso fine and thin with my texture ) I'm working on making the best of it

 

[Pheonixx]

i will admit that even though i'm a very racially conscious person and one who strives to NEVER support intra racial racist things -- like your too black or too nappy, that when i went natural, my feeling were really put to the test.

for me, it really was very emotional because even though i knew such feelings were wrong, i had some of them about my hair. i started to feel that my texture was just fine, but how would others accept it. so for me, it was more social acceptance.

i'm not ashamed to admit this now and never will be again. having years of subconscious and conscious teaching of nappy is bad...good hair is the best, i had no idea that this monster of black hate would effect me the way it did when i finally was faced with my hair.

i know some transition with no problem, but i wonder how many can say that just as easily.

i honestly think that going natural is more emotional than many black women will admit that they may have experienced or are still suffering through.

there are still so many women that want to go natural, but won't because they say "i don't have the texture for that."

did any of you experience any of the emotional things that come with truly accepting your hair without it being covered up with relaxer?

1.
Kudos to you LADY.
This is a nice thread.
Seriously.

Well...I'm merely transitioning but I have a lot of ng.
I never really completely bought into the 'good hair' thing. On some levels I figure maybe I'm just not conscious of it because I've never been tested...know what I mean? That being said...I'm sure some remnants of it will make rear it's ugly head when I BC....and I'll have to talk myself through it.
LOL

2.
Overall I don't feel any sort of way about my hair or natural hair in general. I'd be embarrassed if I looked a mess because I didn't know what to do with my hair. ....and I would't go out with my head all over my head while relaxed so I won't go out with it all over my head as a natural.
Since this site I tend to view all black hair as being 'varying types of curly-ness' no matter if it's a 3c or a 4c.
The reason why I didn't go natural before? I was afraid that I wouldn't know how to maintain it. I didn't know how I'd look. I had this image in my head that every natural had a fro and I didn't want to be stuck in one style.
I like versatility.

....and I never even factored other ppl into it because to be perfectly honest I'm borderline self-absorbed. LOL
Hey--at least I'm admitting.
Honestly it's about me and how I feel. I don't care what this, that and the other person thinks. Like an aunt of mine found out that I was transitioning and she just up and says she doesn't 'like no nappy hair'.
My response: "Well I do--because I don't have a problem being black... and why should I be ashamed of the hair that God gave me? Why should I be ashamed of ME? What's so wrong with it. Huh? My hair is beautiful. ...and besides...I don't think I even asked..."

That shut her down.
Hell naw I ain't 'shamed! Family or not. If you can dish it out....
You know the rest.
To me--that's like saying you don't like me because I'm brown-skinned. And I was conscious of the fact that she launched into her 'nappy hair tirade' in front of my pre-teen FEMALE cousins...and I wasn't having it!
I am past the age where I have the time to sit up and deal with unnecesarily rude a** people. And I have even LESS patience for black folks coming at me with 'Coon Logic'.
That being said, if someone had an issue with my hair I'd think there was something wrong with THEM, before I'd think anything was wrong with me.
....cause nappy or not--my hair is beautiful. I mean that.
....and when I say 'black is beautiful' I mean that sh*t too.
So if you have a problem with my head, like my little fast-tailed 12 yr old cousin would say, "don't hate me--take notes and GET like me!"
>>Pheonixx purses her lips, and snaps with her fingers while in a full neck roll<<
LOL
When I go natchal ppl ain't gon be able to tell me nathan'!

3.
Most ppl LOVE natural hair are you kidding? Especially nonblacks.
"I wish I had cool hair"
"Can I touch your hair?"
"It's so healthy..."
The only ones who have 'the complex' are black folks really--and that's usually because they don't know any better.
So I usually don't understand these naturals who seemingly have so many negative experiences concerning how other view their hair.
Ppl fawn all over my hair with all it's ng and I'm just transitioning. I dunno.... Different ppl have different experiences I guess.

As far as 'good hair' is concerned, lemme tell you something: Ppl loved my relaxed hair.
My hair is commonly mistaken for 'good hair' and it isn't THAT type of hair. I don't have that curly Wave Nouveau type hair. (lol) I'm not a 3 type. I'm a 4. or maybe in between, I dunno. But it's not!
Still-ppl say I 'got good hair'...
>>>shrugs<<<
....and that just goes to show you that MOST black ppl don't know what the hell they're looking at or what the hell they mean when they consider someone's hair to be 'good hair'.
It's like Brotha's who talk about how much they hate weave--but every entertainer they lust after from Gabreille Union to Beyonce to Halle has a head full of it...
As I told my male friend. "Pls shut up....brothas always tryna holla bout what they 'don't like' and half of ya'll too dumb to know what the hell you looking at to tell the diff'rence in the first place..."

Same situation.
I've found that the saying 'healthy hair is good hair' makes wayyyy more sense than I'd even realized.
...and I always make it a point to express to sistas that MY hair looks just like theirs. (because it usually does)
The only diff is maintenance.

4.
I don't like 'beady-beads' but it's not a texture thing as much as it is the fact that I just don't believe in looking 'any kind of way'. I don't like the appearance of any hair that is unkept and unmanageable. Or doesn't appear 'presentable'. My cousin has a thick head of 3C spiral curls and I don't like her hair either because it's a mess. Not to say all 3Cs look a mess but she dies. Tangled All over her head. She has a lion's mane. I don't care what your hair-type your hair needs to be on point.
Overall, I think it's good that you can be honest with yourself. It is the only way that you can overcome the attitude. It's good that we can talk about these things as well on LHCF.

 

[choconillaprincess]

i used to be embarrassed that ppl mite think my hair was too nappy or kinky or wutever and every once in awhile i get that way... especially when other girls say stupid things... but now i'm always pickin and fluffin to make my hair look nappier lol

 

[hairedity]

I had many days being embarrassed about my permed hair when it would look thin, and the wind blow just to confirm it. I've also had those issues of being embarrassed when a touch up was due. Example, years ago...a guy wanted to touch what appeared to be my nicely done hair, he tried to touch it and I grabbed his hand so fast, I guess it was obvious why, because he then said "oh, do you have beady-bees under there that you don't want me to feel" ...o my
As far as my natural texture, I never got to really know it, as I received a perm at the age of 11. I know prior to this I had no issues w/my texture, being so young I didn't know the difference. I was very aware though, that it wasn't long and it hurt to comb after a wash.
Now that I'm transitioning, I really don't know what to expect. I'm hoping to be confident when I become fully natural, despite all the damage (some permanent) that has been done.

This is a great topic, thank you.

 

[Pheonixx]

No I haven't been embarassed about the texture, more so the length. I always used a blow dryer to it was semi straight. I wore braids alot, and what embarassed me was my texture not matching my weave when I was trying that out. My cousins, now they may have bothered me but when my hair grew long one time, they had to shut up and admire. I have been natural way longer than the handful of times I relaxed, I just wanted to be able to deal with what grows out of my head and will always be growing out of my head like that. And now I'm in university most of the Black girls are natural, and my friends make fun of my sister for relaxing, We were once planning on all wearing puffs to school one day, and there are alot of us, there was even a really light skinned girl with blue eyes, light brown Natural hair in a fro almost everyday even though her hair was soft and she could have worn it other ways. And alot of the girls in my school had healthy natural or relaxed hair. That's why I had to step my game up, couldn't be the only one wearing braids all the time.

I feel sad for the people who are ashamed, not in a bad way but in a way that I wish I could help. My words and experiences are not the same as yours so it just can't help, when parents are hounding you about bad texture etc. My mom loves my natural hair and tells me to wear a fro and my dad doesn't care about anyone's hair in the house. I completely understand if constantly hearing stereotypes made you feel a certain way. I think at least you were brave enough to try if you decide you don't like it (alot of people don't like their hair, at least we can change ours), and you may come to love it as did others.

That's like where I live. I've ran into so many naturals in San Antonio. In my (national Guard unit there are like...5. They outnumber the relaxed heads. They wear cute little puffs.One of the them has sisterlocks...

...and yes--much like you it makes me sad as well to see ppl ashamed of their texture. I've just come to accept that some ppl are ingrained with the belief that it's not good to be 'TOO black', i.e, darker-skinned, 'nappy' hair.

But what can you do with adults?
>>>shrugs<<<
Children are another matter, however--and I do what I can to build esteem in these little ones.
Which is why (as I said in my above post) I snapped so hard on my aunt. She went into her 'nappy hair' rant in front of my little cousins. 8-15 yr olds. IMPRESSIONABLE minds. Growing girls--who WILL internalize these comments.
I just can't believe that an ADULT would be so careless as to speak so loosely around little kids...
...and my words look much harsher than they actually were.
I was just asking questions.

Yeah--I have a lot of attitude.
.....and I know that she IS 'like that'. Already knew that. It was just the first time she was 'like that' with me.
But I tell you what? She can be 'like that' with somebody else. Maybe to some of my meeker kinfolk who will sit there and take it and not challenge her backwards thinking...
She is not gon be talking all out the sides of her dern neck to me. She's just not. ....and she on some old 'ignant' bullish too?
Ooh--uh uh....

 

[Morenita]

First, this is a great thread OP! When I saw the title, I was afraid at first that it would be drama-ridden and controversial. However, you have clearly brought to the surface a very real issue that I am sure many relaxed/transitioning/natural women have faced, or are currently facing, and I am proud to say that this question has been discussed with a wonderful level of maturity and insight.

That said, I am currently transitioning (4 1/2 months in), and while I love my natural texture and am already fascinated by what I see, I do admit that I still have the occasional apprehensive thought in the back of my mind. I know that I will love my natural hair. I remember it from when I was young, but I have been relaxed for so long, and it's a big change. For me, I just hate not knowing, and with something as important as my hair, well, I just hate not knowing what it's going to look like or if I will be able to handle styling it.

Second...Daaaayum Phoenixx! Newfound respect for you, for real. I love your response. QFT!!!

1.
Kudos to you LADY.
This is a nice thread.
Seriously.

Well...I'm merely transitioning but I have a lot of ng.
I never really completely bought into the 'good hair' thing. On some levels I figure maybe I'm just not conscious of it because I've never been tested...know what I mean? That being said...I'm sure some remnants of it will make rear it's ugly head when I BC....and I'll have to talk myself through it.
LOL

2.
Overall I don't feel any sort of way about my hair or natural hair in general. I'd be embarrassed if I looked a mess because I didn't know what to do with my hair. ....and I would't go out with my head all over my head while relaxed so I won't go out with it all over my head as a natural.
Since this site I tend to view all black hair as being 'varying types of curly-ness' no matter if it's a 3c or a 4c.
The reason why I didn't go natural before? I was afraid that I wouldn't know how to maintain it. I didn't know how I'd look. I had this image in my head that every natural had a fro and I didn't want to be stuck in one style.
I like versatility.

....and I never even factored other ppl into it because to be perfectly honest I'm borderline self-absorbed. LOL
Hey--at least I'm admitting.
Honestly it's about me and how I feel. I don't care what this, that and the other person thinks. Like an aunt of mine found out that I was transitioning and she just up and says she doesn't 'like no nappy hair'.
My response: "Well I do--because I don't have a problem being black... and why should I be ashamed of the hair that God gave me? Why should I be ashamed of ME? What's so wrong with it. Huh? My hair is beautiful. ...and besides...I don't think I even asked..."

That shut her down.
Hell naw I ain't 'shamed! Family or not. If you can dish it out....
You know the rest.
To me--that's like saying you don't like me because I'm brown-skinned. And I was conscious of the fact that she launched into her 'nappy hair tirade' in front of my pre-teen FEMALE cousins...and I wasn't having it!
I am past the age where I have the time to sit up and deal with unnecesarily rude a** people. And I have even LESS patience for black folks coming at me with 'Coon Logic'.
That being said, if someone had an issue with my hair I'd think there was something wrong with THEM, before I'd think anything was wrong with me.
....cause nappy or not--my hair is beautiful. I mean that.
....and when I say 'black is beautiful' I mean that sh*t too.
So if you have a problem with my head, like my little fast-tailed 12 yr old cousin would say, "don't hate me--take notes and GET like me!"
>>Pheonixx purses her lips, and snaps with her fingers while in a full neck roll<<
LOL
When I go natchal ppl ain't gon be able to tell me nathan'!

3.
Most ppl LOVE natural hair are you kidding? Especially nonblacks.
"I wish I had cool hair"
"Can I touch your hair?"
"It's so healthy..."
The only ones who have 'the complex' are black folks really--and that's usually because they don't know any better.
So I usually don't understand these naturals who seemingly have so many negative experiences concerning how other view their hair.
Ppl fawn all over my hair with all it's ng and I'm just transitioning. I dunno.... Different ppl have different experiences I guess.

As far as 'good hair' is concerned, lemme tell you something: Ppl loved my relaxed hair.
My hair is commonly mistaken for 'good hair' and it isn't THAT type of hair. I don't have that curly Wave Nouveau type hair. (lol) I'm not a 3 type. I'm a 4. or maybe in between, I dunno. But it's not!
Still-ppl say I 'got good hair'...
>>>shrugs<<<
....and that just goes to show you that MOST black ppl don't know what the hell they're looking at or what the hell they mean when they consider someone's hair to be 'good hair'.
It's like Brotha's who talk about how much they hate weave--but every entertainer they lust after from Gabreille Union to Beyonce to Halle has a head full of it...
As I told my male friend. "Pls shut up....brothas always tryna holla bout what they 'don't like' and half of ya'll too dumb to know what the hell you looking at to tell the diff'rence in the first place..."

Same situation.
I've found that the saying 'healthy hair is good hair' makes wayyyy more sense than I'd even realized.
...and I always make it a point to express to sistas that MY hair looks just like theirs. (because it usually does)
The only diff is maintenance.

4.
I don't like 'beady-beads' but it's not a texture thing as much as it is the fact that I just don't believe in looking 'any kind of way'. I don't like the appearance of any hair that is unkept and unmanageable. Or doesn't appear 'presentable'. My cousin has a thick head of 3C spiral curls and I don't like her hair either because it's a mess. Not to say all 3Cs look a mess but she dies. Tangled All over her head. She has a lion's mane. I don't care what your hair-type your hair needs to be on point.
Overall, I think it's good that you can be honest with yourself. It is the only way that you can overcome the attitude. It's good that we can talk about these things as well on LHCF.

 

[ToyToy]

I've never been ashamed of my hair texture, but I did feel very un-sexy for a while last year (natural for 2.5 years now). I've been braiding my hair for the last six months now, and everytime I take my hair down now, I love it more. I think it takes time getting used to your own natural hair, especially if you've been relaxing for many years. And as other ladies have already said, it's also about transitioning your mind.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I wasn't embarrassed of my natural hair, but I was a little embarrassed when I did my first BC because I cut it down to 1/4" and my hair had never been that short before, it took me a while to get used to it because I didn't have enough hair to hide behind bangs.

 

[MAMATO]

No way ...why would I be. I am relaxed with 5 inches of natural hair on the roots. I have not relaxed for months. I am not transitioning but only retiring from relaxers for a while. So I wear my airdried natural hair with a kinky quick weave all the time. I do braid out on the front to cover the top of the weave. I am a 4a-4b and I am relaxed for convenience but I endorsed my natural hair 100%.

 

[MissBCurly]

Ive never been embarressed of my texture, now when I was transitiong while I loved my new growth I hated the unkept look it had sometimes because the two textures did not blend but still never embarressed, it was a personal thing Im ocd at times...erplexed