Naturals/Transitioners... What held (or is holding) you back...

[KiSseS03]

...from doing the Big Chop?

Ladies, I keep going back and forth on whether to just go ahead and do it this summer (at 8-9 months post) or wait at least a year. Transitioning is dangerous because you're in between and it takes a lot more work to make your hair look cute, and sometimes it just seems like life would be easier if I just went back to the relaxer (especially being on this site with the gorgeous relaxed pics). BUT I have NO intention of going back, which is why I'm fighting with myself as to why I won't cut my hair...

Anyway, after all that here are the reasons I've come up with, that I'm holding back from just chopping (in order of importance)...

1)I'm scared of what I'll look like with very short hair (I think I'll have about 5 inches... but my shrinkage is NO JOKE!)
2) My hair is now the longest it has been in my entire life, and it seems like I'm throwing all that work away by chopping.
3) I'm a little scared of what certain people around me will think, but what I think of my hair is still wayyy more important.

I'd love to hear your reasons ladies...

 

[PaperClip]

I just asked this question in the Transitioners Support Thread. I am challenged with fear, but that's really ridiculous because I'm at the point of no return now. I am concerned about having enough hair to braid, esp. since I have been transitioning with braids and weaves. It looks like I have about 2 inches of new growth, although there's shrinkage....

Most of the relaxed ends are gone, and the ones that remain look sickly, raggedy, and tired. I would have never believed it if someone had told me I would consciously decide to stop relaxing my hair. I'm almost nine months out, and I'm simply amazed. The transition has been more mental and emotional than physical.

I don't fear cutting it because I know that my hair will grow. And when I do my part, e.g., eat well, pamper my hair, etc., it grows nicely....

I'm pretty much ok with regard to other people.... Unless they're willing to do my hair for free, they have NOTHING to say... and even then, it wouldn't matter. I'm not going back to hair slavery....

As of now, I plan to BC in September (one year anniversary). It's a miracle that I even considered it before then.... I'd like to grow out about 5-6 inches to wear my own hair out.

Thanks to all for the support and continued success in meeting our healthy hair goals!

 

[Wildchild453]

I've posted this before but I will again I was 100% natural for about 2 years before I cut my hair from damage. I went from having past shoulder length hair to about 1/2 inch after my BC.

I was scared to death of having short hair, that was what was holding me back, but I got over it

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

Nothing's really holding me back, I just dont wanna chop off all the length that I worked hard to get, plus I prefer having long hair over short. My hair is not too far from being the same length that I had as a child (mid back) Cutting my hair now would be utterly ridiculous. I wont hop on that path anytime soon. My Transition is going smoothly, my hair is healthy and growing, everything basically is copasetic.

 

[cocomama]

I transitioned for about 14 mths. I also was scared to death of cutting my hair to soon. I was the type that didn't want to get trims when my hair was perm(LOL), but eventually I was able to cut my own hair. I think a person has to transition their mind not just their hair.

I only had about 4 or 5 inches when I cut, but I was ready. I had begun to hate the permed hair and love the natural hair. Cutting my perm hair off was such a liberatng experience! I do think that my hair would be longer had I cut the perm hair sooner. I think the perm ends hurt the health of my hair.


Anywho check out my 2 yr progress

www.fotki.com/sephus4
pw: seafuss or seafuss.com
pw: wl for how to lose weight sections

 

[Nightingale]

It was a length issue for me too.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I just had my one year of transitioning anniversary last Sunday...and I dont plan to Big Chop until December. I wasnt really paying attention to my hair until about two months ago and just joined LHCF two weeks ago! I have only about five inches of new growth....I plan to wait on my Big Chop because I just want to have more length...

I hit the FORGET THIS..I AM GOING TO GET A RELAXER hurdle about 2.5 months ago so I feel ya...it was forums like this one that helped me get over it...but EVERY TIME I wash my hair and see my beautiful natural naps in their glory I just want to cut all the relaxer off and set them free!!!! But I resist the urge because I have never had short hair and most people I talk to have said after they cut they wanted their hair back...so I am just waiting patiently....or at least trying to patient...hahaha I dont know how well I am doing...

But anyways...I am hoping to gain another 5 inches before my BC using all the wonderful methods of LHCF...vitamins..conditioning...no heat...moisture...and all of that...but I say BIG CHOP when YOU ARE READY...people are going to have their opinions no matter what you do with your hair...so do it for YOU...if you want to BC dont let anyone stop you...but if you set a different goal..just be patient...you will get there...

Congratulations on your hair journey!

 

[bluebearfanatic]

In April I hit my one year mark and still have decided not to transition. It is very difficult dealing with the two textures however the less manipulation you do the better. I've been wearing weaves and braids. In between those times I"ll wear my hair in a bun and or do braidouts. I can't cut my hair at least not now. I've always had long hair and I can't see myself with short hair. I haven't even decided when I'll actually do the BC, but it definitely won't be anytime soon. I just keep in mind "my ends are my friends"..lol

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

Hi Kisses! I see you are still wondering about whether you should chop or not. I think you should cut it, but when you are ready. Girl, I cannot tell you how much better I feel now that I'm natural. I don't regret my decision cutting (which I did about a month ago) AT ALL. My self confidence has boomed and I've received so many compliments from men and women, white and black. It's summer. You can wash and go, wear twists and it feels just great with the air on your natural hair and scalp. I'm sure you already know this, but each day I look in the mirror and I just want to make love to my natural hair! LOL. And why are you worried about what other people will think of you? It's your hair. Who cares what other people think about you? At first I was worried about what people would have thought about me before I chopped, but believe it or not, I got great responses from people. Now that I think about it, what people will think of me is what held me back. Then I came back to my senses and said "who cares about what other people think, this is ME." Also, I was concerned about length. I had this thing in my head saying that I would "chop in august, chop in august". But who's to say I will be satisfied with the length in August? Ya know. Right now I have about...well I don't even know how long my hair is, but it surprised me when I cut it. I could not believe that my hair was that long underneath the relaxed pieces of hair. But yea, I could not make it until this August. I didn't want to keep putting the stress on my natural strands by leaving the relaxed on there, so I just did it. I know by month 4 of transitioning, that was hell for me, so I commend you for going 8 to 9 months. May not sound like a lot, but it is so hang in there!

 

[KiSseS03]

Thanks for the responses ladies! Shellz, your hair looks awesome... you are one of the people that keeps inspiring me to go ahead and do this!

I guess the length thing is an issue for a lot of us...

 

[RainbowCurls]

What held me back was the fear of looking ugly with short hair. A lot of people look great with short hair but I don't think I've got the looks for it

Now I've finally (after almost 18 months of transitioning) BCed, I still think it's too short.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I'm sorry if this offends anybody, but it is my truth.

I'm not the type to get all girly with the hair accessories/jewelry/makeup and with ultra short hair, I felt like I would look too much like a dude or be mistaken for a lesbian. I have enough self esteem issues with my femininity and that is just a realm I didn't want to get off into.

I transitioned with the personal understanding that I wasn't cutting a hair off my head until I had enough to pull into a ponytail/bun/puff.

 

[KiSseS03]

I'm sorry if this offends anybody, but it is my truth.

I'm not the type to get all girly with the hair accessories/jewelry/makeup and with ultra short hair, I felt like I would look too much like a dude or be mistaken for a lesbian. I have enough self esteem issues with my femininity and that is just a realm I didn't want to get off into.

I transitioned with the personal understanding that I wasn't cutting a hair off my head until I had enough to pull into a ponytail/bun/puff.

JCoily, I'm not offended at all, I love your honesty! How long did it take you to be able to get a pony/bun/puff?

 

[Cheleigh]

I had never had short hair (above shoulder), and didn't think I wanted ultra short hair. I figured that a year would be a good transitioning time. I decided to cut at one year, four weeks. I started really wanting to cut about month 11 and ended up chopping two weeks early. I chopped with about 5.5" of hair.

Now I realize I could have gone shorter if I'd wanted to--I look good with short coily hair. I'm sort of a casually feminine woman already, so it wasn't difficult to add hair accessories to my routine, which was really my only additional concession to femininity once I did the BC (oh, and I wear my contacts more often (successful) and tried to wear light make-up more often--(not usually successful). I really surprised how much I love shorter hair--I just didn't think I would.

 

[curlilocs]

I wore a twa in college so doing the BC was easy for me. Though I had initially planned to transition for 12 months, after 4 it seemed pointless, b/c with shrinkage, 6-8 inches of natural hair will still look like 2 inches on most days, at least that's the case with me. Also, with me being an all or nothing type of person, holding on to the relaxed ends seemed like a cop out for the ultimate goal. At then end of the day, I just wanted natural hair and if that meant cutting off 10-12 inches of hair, so be it.

I think the biggest hurdle most women face is trying to get the new growth to behave like the relaxed hair instead of trying to blend the relaxed hair with the new growth. You have to get used to seeing your hair big and wild vs. sleek and smooth, that's why I always suggest rod sets, straw sets, twist outs and braid outs as transitioning styles, because they help blend the two textures, and get you prepared for how your hair will behave when it is fully natural.

 

[luv04]

right now im a transitioner ..i guess what is mainly holdin me bak from bc rite now would be length and that is it..haha but i mean im eager to chop dont get me wrong..i began to get tired of dealing with both textures i want to be natural more than anything..i dont have much more relaxed hair left...but im in braids right now...i tend to get more growth in braids anyway ..its one of the ways i achieved past bra strap hair with relaxed hair..but that method should hopefully work now..plus i do plan on choppin after a year with is only in a few months i plan on going to a natural stylist..i need to learn how to better style and nurture my natural hair...so i think a chop will benefit me after when im comfortable and at my time goal..

 

[Crackers Phinn]

JCoily, I'm not offended at all, I love your honesty! How long did it take you to be able to get a pony/bun/puff?

14 months of transitioning, but I started to get the 'cut it' itch because by one year, the hair in the back was long enough to pull through a ponytail holder.

 

[amara11]

Hey relaxerrehab and kisses03- I think we're all about the same "nappy" age! My one year is Aug. 31st. 2006 and im about 9 months in transition now. I have about 3-4 inches on new growth, a little slow- but that's b/c I really havent done anything special to take care of my new hair- and Im just now (w/in the last 2 months) learning exactly what to do. My hair ordinarily grows pretty fast closer to an inch per month- but a hectic school year left me ignoring my hair.

I REALLY want to BC, but like kisses, the length I have now is great and easier to work with on nappy days. My shrinkage is a *****! erplexed
Also, I've always had very thick (at least shoulder length) hair- so the Chop would be kind of scary.

Hopefully I'll be ready by my year and a half in February '07 or maybe even January to start off the new year?

Either way, Im completely torn........

 

[Mestiza]

Nothing's really holding me back, I just dont wanna chop off all the length that I worked hard to get, plus I prefer having long hair over short. My hair is not too far from being the same length that I had as a child (mid back) Cutting my hair now would be utterly ridiculous. I wont hop on that path anytime soon. My Transition is going smoothly, my hair is healthy and growing, everything basically is copasetic.

I can definitely relate! My transition is such a breeze. I love long hair and don't see myself chopping off all of this hair.

 

[leleepop]

I am armpit length stretched and striving for mid back. I am not feeling cutting my texlaxed ends. I dust every month and very careful with my hair,heat every other month or so,moisture daily,dc 1x a week. My hair is almost all one length and pretty thick. I hope I can just trim till the end.

 

[healthyhairin07]

I did the big chop about four years ago, and I remember feeling so good after cutting the relaxed ends off. There are so many cute short styles. I think it's good to be able to experience both short and long natural hair, but I can understand your fear.

 

[glamazon386]

Sorry this is so long but...I was scared of what I would look like if I chopped all my hair off. IDK why. It's not like I had never had a short cut before but it was nowhere near as short as it would be if I BCED. I also was concerned with what other people would think, especially my mother. I mean not only would it be short, but it would be nappy too. And I didn't know how people were going to react to it.

I had thought about going natural for years just never had the guts to do it. When I BCED, I hadn't even officially declared that I was transitioning. I was just doing my usual relaxer stretch. I had been stretching 3-4 months for 2-3 years while I was in college. I just didn't have the funds. For the last yr or so before my bc I hadn't been wearing my hair straight anyway. I was wearing wavy and curly hair so I didn't need to relax. My hair blended with the weave better with all the new growth. I was keeping it covered under wigs and weaves and phony ponies anyway so if I chopped it and continued to keep it covered nobody would know.

The thought to cut it crossed my mind several times over the past year (once I called my mother frustrated and told her i was tired of it and wanted to cut it all off. She said don't do something crazy and talked me out of it. I had a weave in at the time anyway so how much cutting was I really gonna do?) but I was still on the fence about what I wanted to do. Then one day I was like hmmm let me cut a little in the back to see what it looks like. Before I knew it all my hair was on the floor and it felt great.

It's not like my hair was long anyway. It was grazing my shoulder and no matter what I did it continued to break off. I had just recently began to see some growth since I started taking care of it myself. So I figured why not just let it go? That and I got tired of paying out the ass for expensive curly hair so it would look natural so I figured why not grow my own?

The only regret I have now is that I didn't do it sooner. I would have a lot more hair by now had I not let my mother coax me into a relaxer last easter. I figured hey she's paying why not? If she didn't say anything to me about it, I would have never gone to the salon for the relaxer and would be well into a year and a half natural. I'm coming on the 1 yr anniversary of my last relaxer next month though. Time sure flies...

 

[Hidden_Angel]

Shortness was my only greiif. I was scared of my hair being short but I loved the naps!

 

[LynnieB]

i am so at peace with myself and my transitioning hair. i really think i've got that mind transition downpat. i don't feel like the ultimate proof to the world of that fact is by cutting off all my hair.

there has been a box of Optimum Care, regular no-lye sitting on a shelf in my house, collecting beaucoup layers of dust, since last March. i can't even bring myself to touch the damn box. my mom "gave it to me" when she found out the salon wouldn't let her bring her own products (heh she natural now - ain't life funny that way!)

i've never been tempted to use it one bit - it scares the begeezus out of me. the alopecia scarred me so bad that i actually have nightmares that someone put that firecream on my hair and it all fell out!!

on the shelf it shall stay, 4EVA.

i am hung up on length though and if that puts me in the not completely mentally transitioned box o' naps, so be it.

i can't handle a twa or even a baa - i'm shooting for the sunblocking/ozone layer blocking afro (SBA or OLBA ).

when i do my twists, i want them to be @ least be on my shoulders before i even consider bcing and as long as my hair and my nerves are in harmony with one another, i'm in it for the long, long, long haul.

thanx for dusting off this post BMFG (you are definite fly with your gawjus natural hair!!)

 

[glamazon386]

thanx for dusting off this post BMFG (you are definite fly with your gawjus natural hair!!)

Thanks hun! But that's weave in that picture It's the closest I could find to my texture though. It's a pretty good match.

 

[LynnieB]

Thanks hun! But that's weave in that picture It's the closest I could find to my texture though. It's a pretty good match.

naw woman - i saw your pic when you bc'd - i could be getting all foggy in the noggy though

..............you gots some gawjus natural hair!!!!

 

[nikkivale]

My hair has never been this long before and i hate to just chop it all off and I don't like short hair. I hate dealing with these two textures though

 

[glamazon386]

naw woman - i saw your pic when you bc'd - i could be getting all foggy in the noggy though

..............you gots some gawjus natural hair!!!!

Aww thanks!! Now if it would just grow

 

[Ayeshia]

my hair was like .25-.50 long after doiung my bc and it was not hot BUT it grew back so quick i basically had no time to sulk.

 

[glamazon386]

my hair was like .25-.50 long after doiung my bc and it was not hot BUT it grew back so quick i basically had no time to sulk.

Really? Wow... What'd you do with it at that length? Just let it be?