Naturals, how do yo get your hair soft?

[Sesi]

Hey Ladies,

it's me again asking for advice.

So my hair (type 4) is ridiculously coarse. I don't think it has ever been soft.

I can get it moisturized but not soft, but darnit I want hair that is moisturized AND soft!

Or is it just wishful thinking?

How do you guys get your hair soft?

 

[faithVA]

Hey Ladies,

it's me again asking for advice.

So my hair (type 4) is ridiculously coarse. I don't think it has ever been soft.

I can get it moisturized but not soft, but darnit I want hair that is moisturized AND soft!

Or is it just wishful thinking?

How do you guys get your hair soft?

What are you using to moisturize? I can get mine soft but not moisturized

From what I have seen there are a few different groups on here based on what people's hair likes
1. Aloe Vera
2. Glycerin
3. Butters
4. Oils (coconut or ceramides).
5. I think some people can do both with just water

1. Butters make my hair soft but do not moisturize
2. Glycerin both softens and moisturizes. So I use a water/glycerin mix.

Using a butter or a butter/oil combo and sitting under a heat cap for 30 minutes really makes my hair soft.

Shea Moisture Curl Enhacing smoothie has been really great at softening my hair.

I hope something in there helps.

 

[SimJam]

I dunno, I also have course hair ---- like I dont even think my strands are round, when I rub them between my fingers they almost feel flat. for that reason my hair wont ever feel silky (i think) which is my definition of "soft"

but my hair feels coushiony/cottony/spongy when moisturized

ie I use AOHC or BRBC and seal with oyin BSP ... awesome moisture for daaaays

 

[PPGbubbles]

my hair feels soft when I use products that close the cuticle. For me Aloe Vera juice is inexpensive and excellent at smoothing my hair and making it soft.

Incorporating ceramide oils has been a big lifesaver as well. I prefer rice bran oil, it is light and has low odor.

Also the softest my hair has ever been was when I used S-curl but it worked too well!! lol. my hair was so soft it wouldnt hold any definition from my twist out so I had to retire that product. And I wasnt the biggest fan of the scent, but it may do the trick OP

Setting my hair while wet/damp also helps with softness for me. Wheter it be a braidout, twist out etc. I see best results when I style while damp and allow the style to airdry over night then remove it in the morning.

If it helps I am natural 4a (perimeter) 4b(crown) . I have fine strands med density.

 

[AMAKA127]

try this ... put kinky curly knot today, 2 caps of rice bran oil in a spray bottle and dilute it with water ... and spray your hair down ... you should notice a big difference right then and there

also try and DC every week ... and shampoo less often instead co-wash

 

[Vashti]

but my hair feels coushiony/cottony/spongy when moisturized

See, when my hair feels like this to me, it's soft. OP, for the longterm benefits I think deep conditioning your hair regularly can go a long way in helping to keep it moisturized. I DC once a week. SCurl (glycerine based) works great too as a daily moisturizer. at night seal your ends with an oil. The oils I like are in my siggy.

 

[Zaz]

Rather than products used on my hair any one day, I think it 's more an accumulation of things.
When I cowash often and stopped using shampoo as much, my hair became much softer. I used to shampoo my hair every 3 or so days but now I stretch it to every 2 weeks and do (daily) conditioner washes in between and now my hair feels much softer.

 

[yardyspice]

I was raised to believe my hair was coarse and it wasn't till I learned which products to use for 4a/b hair that I realized that my hair was just in need of moisture. I co-wash with a shikakai co-wash once or twice per week and co-wash the rest of the time with Vo5 and follow up with a the Suave Aveda knock off. I'll use some mustard or peach kernel oil in between if my hair doesn't feel soft.

Then I use a conditioner as a leave-in. Right now I am using the Organix Moroccan oil condish and I love it. I then follow up with either gel or shea butter to hold my hair down. I am feeling my hair now and it is so soft.

 

[Aviah]

Shampooing without sulphates
DC with LustraSilk Shea Butter Cholesterol and olive oil,
Moisturizing with Cantu Shea Butter Leave In, and sealing with coconut oil.
If its really bad, something glycerin based helps out (but try not to do this when its cold or the air is dry)
Not leaving my hair "out" unless giving it extra moisture first.

My hair is not coarse, but these may help.

 

[AmyRose92]

My hair is also extremely coarse but I've managed to achieve relative softness with a modified Kimmaytube method. Because of the coarse nature of my hair, I need something really thick to moisturize my hair and allow it to retain softness.

This is my modified method:
1. 1 oz (or 2 tbsp) of Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner
2. 2 tbsp Aloe vera juice
3. 2 tsp Castor oil
4. 2 tsp Jojoba/Coconut oil

I spray each section of hair with water mixed with pure glycerin and apply the mix to each section from root to ends.

The Shea Moisture conditioner alone could leave my hair soft for about two days, but this mixture has left my hair moisturized AND soft for more than three days. I was so surprised at the results because I would always need to moisturize my hair at most every other day to combat dryness. Hope this helps!

 

[bride91501]

I'm pretty sure this was one the first questions I asked when I joined the board I agree with the other posters; what's worked for me to get soft, touchable hair is a combination of things:

-DC'ing weekly
-incorporating ceramide oils into all parts of my regimen
-limiting shampoo to once/monthly & co-washing often (2-4x per week)
-finding staple moisturizers/leave-in conditioners (mine- QB AOHC, SM Restorative, TW Mist Bodifier)
-I've also learned that my hair is more likely to stay soft & moisturized while in PSs

HTH

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Using a minimal amount of products on the hair and not wearing the hair out everyday.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I agree with PPGbubbles about ceramide oils because I'm a ceramide fanatic!! My fave (so far) being wheat germ oil (even tho its stinky) but I'm gonna try rice bran asap I introduced this to my best friend who has wiry natural hair and she couldn't believe the instant difference wheat germ oil (on top of HH LTR leave in) made. May I suggest tring adding ceramide oils to you DCs w/ heat and sealing your ends with it....

Shea and Avocado Butters are nice too!

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I'm pretty sure this was one the first questions I asked when I joined the board I agree with the other posters; what's worked for me to get soft, touchable hair is a combination of things:

-DC'ing weekly
-incorporating ceramide oils into all parts of my regimen
-limiting shampoo to once/monthly & co-washing often (2-4x per week)
-finding staple moisturizers/leave-in conditioners (mine- QB AOHC, SM Restorative, TW Mist Bodifier)
-I've also learned that my hair is more likely to stay soft & moisturized while in PSs

HTH

I do the samethings!!

 

[hairmaster]

CHI SILK FILLER AND BIOSILK SILK THERAPY, under plastic conditioning cap/dryer. works wonders.

 

[Sesi]

(Sorry I don't know how to multiquote yet)

faithVA I have done those things in some measure, but to no avail.
I might try the heat cap next.

SimJam - I think we might be in the same boat. my hair never feels silky, which is what i want, lol.

everyone, thanks for your advice. Off to see if I can convince my hair to cooperate with me. Maybe it's the products I am using because I do DC, and moisturize and protective style on low manipulation.....

Sigh...

I'll try switching out products and see.

again!

 

[faithVA]

(Sorry I don't know how to multiquote yet)

@faithVA I have done those things in some measure, but to no avail.
I might try the heat cap next.

@SimJam - I think we might be in the same boat. my hair never feels silky, which is what i want, lol.

everyone, thanks for your advice. Off to see if I can convince my hair to cooperate with me. Maybe it's the products I am using because I do DC, and moisturize and protective style on low manipulation.....

Sigh...

I'll try switching out products and see.

again!

Well share with us what you are using and perhaps we can steer you in the right direction from there. Hair likes what it likes so, sometimes specifics are better. It could be one product that you are using that is throwing things off for you. Or you can be using an overwhelming group of products all with a lot of protein.

So share your products and your regi and I'm sure someone will be able to point you in the right direction

 

[Sesi]

I use
1. HE HH shampoo (weekly) or i itch.
2. Suave Daily clarifying with sulfates (once a month. i purposely chose SLS because i want to strip out all the buildup/dirt/oil/everything).
3. YTC conditioner (just run out)
4. A leave-in made of two teaspoons KCKT or GDLI, 1 teaspoon jojoba oil, 1 teaspoon JBCO, some drops of lavender oil.
5. KCKT to detangle


I do a gentle wash weekly with HE HH shampoo, and then condition after with YTC or aussie 3 minute miracle.

Once every two/three weeks, I do an overnight pre-poo with coconut oil, shampoo the next day and condition and detangle out of the shower with KCKT.

I put in two-strand twists after detangling and leave them in for two/three weeks. In the past i have twisted my hair with

Shea Moisture curl enhancing smoothie (only moisturizes for abotu three days)
Darcy's botanicals avocade and wildplum twisting creme (same)
Bee mine bee hold butter (with their moisturizer underneath it) same situation).

I spitz midweekly with my leave-in mix.


It is not as much as it sounds ....or am I doing the most?

ETA: I am going to switch the HE HH out and use alaffia shea and henna shampoo and conditioner this weekend to see how it goes.

 

[BraunSugar]

For an extra boost, I spray my hair w/water, put some Lustrasilk Mango & Shea Butter or Olive Oil Cholesterol (not too much), cover my hair w/a plastic cap, rinse out in the shower and put some EVOO on my hair. I did this a few times a week when I felt my hair wasn't soft. Now I only do it maybe once a week if that.

 

[Ltown]

I use detangler and leave in with softening ingredients. A must have ingredient I need in mine is panthenol or silk protein.

 

[libertysince05]

Prepoo and baggying overnight, using a moisturising shampoo, regular DC on dry hair, using a water based leave in, occasionally sealing with oil.
Co-washing or using a spray leave in, if my hair feels dry.
Avoiding product overload.
(after shampoo i squeeze the foam out, dont rinse, add a regular conditioner and then rinse)
Products: AOHSR, Yes to Carrots mud mask, Giovanni: Direct leave in/ Smooth as silk Shampoo/50:50 Shampoo, Camelia kissi oil, Anita Grant Creamy cafe latte Leave in, Kerastase shampoo index 3, Phillip Kingsley Elasticizer extreme (leave overnight for extra softness, this is very very good), Ojon restorative treatment
this link may help you:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=497088&highlight=lady+paniolo

 

[darlingdiva]

1. Not loading it with products

2. Infusing moisture into my hair via deep conditioning (I think this one helps a lot because I don't add any moisture to my hair during the week & it's not dry as a result)

3. Roux Porosity Control diluted with water

 

[Sesi]

1. Not loading it with products

2. Infusing moisture into my hair via deep conditioning (I think this one helps a lot because I don't add any moisture to my hair during the week & it's not dry as a result)

3. Roux Porosity Control diluted with water

I don't deep condition anymore. Even when i used to, it would not become soft. the hair is moisturised and healthy, just not soft. Thanks for the advice tho. i'll check out the porosity control as soon as i get some $$$

 

[bride91501]

I use
1. HE HH shampoo (weekly) or i itch.
2. Suave Daily clarifying with sulfates (once a month. i purposely chose SLS because i want to strip out all the buildup/dirt/oil/everything).
3. YTC conditioner (just run out)
4. A leave-in made of two teaspoons KCKT or GDLI, 1 teaspoon jojoba oil, 1 teaspoon JBCO, some drops of lavender oil.
5. KCKT to detangle


I do a gentle wash weekly with HE HH shampoo, and then condition after with YTC or aussie 3 minute miracle.

Once every two/three weeks, I do an overnight pre-poo with coconut oil, shampoo the next day and condition and detangle out of the shower with KCKT.

I put in two-strand twists after detangling and leave them in for two/three weeks. In the past i have twisted my hair with

Shea Moisture curl enhancing smoothie (only moisturizes for abotu three days)
Darcy's botanicals avocade and wildplum twisting creme (same)
Bee mine bee hold butter (with their moisturizer underneath it) same situation).

I spitz midweekly with my leave-in mix.


It is not as much as it sounds ....or am I doing the most?

ETA: I am going to switch the HE HH out and use alaffia shea and henna shampoo and conditioner this weekend to see how it goes.

Sesi - what are you using to deep condition your hair? For me, finding a moisturizing DC was key to getting my hair truly moisturized, and keeping it soft-feeling all week. Actually, if it were not for the sulfur/oil mix I added to my reggie a few months ago (which is naturally drying to the hair), I could probably forgo moisturizing and sealing between DCs.

I'd suggest adding a super moisturizing weekly or biweekly DC to your reggie. I use Lustrasilk Mango Shea Butter weekly and love it.

HTH

 

[naturalTAN]

*didn't read other responses*


castor oil makes my dry hair extremely soft.

 

[AwesomelyNappy]

Castor oil cosign.

also, have you tried oil rinses/washes? I do so at least once a week, then I follow with cheapie conditioner.

Also, i've read some ladies take msm daily and/or apple cider vinegar daily to which their hair has gotten softer.

 

[Sianna]

For softer, more moisturized hair CFCG (Care Free Curl Gold) is my all time best solution! It made a dramatic difference in the feel and moisture retention of my hair within the first few days of me using it!

 

[MsLayila]

For softer, more moisturized hair CFCG (Care Free Curl Gold) is my all time best solution! It made a dramatic difference in the feel and moisture retention of my hair within the first few days of me using it!

I most co sign on this. I am a posting newbie however I have read/researched the board on and off for years. I have coarse 4 b/c hair all around the perimeter of my head that has a tendency to get very dry and tangle/mat unless stretched, and it hurts my scalp to be parted once at that point. I recently picked up a bottle of CGCG hair and scalp spray OMG heaven! It is essentially water with glycerin and a few other ingredients but instantly detangles my hair. Afterwards I apply some of the the CFCG Instant Activator over it it, def leaves my hair soft even after drying.

 

[melissa-bee]

Making my hair damp and putting a butter on it makes my hair soft right away. I am experimenting with butters like the first time I used one I used Anita Grants hair butter and now I'm using shea butter, it works well but I don't like the smell so next I'm going to try mango butter.

 

[ceecy29]

I don't deep condition anymore. Even when i used to, it would not become soft. the hair is moisturised and healthy, just not soft. Thanks for the advice tho. i'll check out the porosity control as soon as i get some $$$

OP, I am with you on this I've been 4b natural for 3 years and I've never felt that soft feeling doing almost all that's been suggested. I have the same issues and I don't bother making threads. It doesn't matter how many hours and how often I deep condition, as soon as I rinse out, that joint loses its "softness".

I've been determined more than ever to figure it out lately. I'll share with you what has gotten me closer to that point:

Using a (spray) leave in first (I think this is a key step!) on DAMP hair and then using a thick moisturizer. Since you have KCKT (which I have in my arsenal too and seem to like) and shea moisture, your post-wash moisturizing session will go something like this: Apply KCKT and then layer on the shea moisture. Then seal with something heavy; I like oyin handmade burnt sugar pomade or plain old castor oil.

Something else that I think is important while moisturizing is doing it in the smallest possible sections and then twisting or braiding it up as if to say in preparation for a twist/braid out. Somehow, my hair will not feel soft if I don't braid it up after; like the braids "activate" the products. I tried the method of moisturizing above without putting my hair in small sections and my hair laughed at the technique.

I'll just outline how I went about wash day yesterday:
Put my hair in 4 sections
Applied Aphogee 2 min recon to each section
Then applied Aussie moist 3 min (first time using this, my hair loved it!) without rinsing out the aphogee. Other deep conditioners I use and like: Lekair or lustrasilk, Nexxus humectress esp after nexxus emergencee, silicon mix.
Detangled lightly( undid the sections one after the other and then braided back up with room to access the scalp)
Then I shampooed scalp with shea moisture shampoo from the raw shea line (omg my hair loved it, I used this for the first time. Non-stripping and non-drying). But I really just use any sulfate free shampoo.
Last step, which I think is worth the try is to OIL RINSE. virtuenow introduced me to this and I must say, my hair thanks her. So I oil rinse with grape seed oil (I take down the sections to saturate them in oil and then braid back up and rinse lightly purposely leaving some oil in) in the hopes that its ceramide properties are doing something for me. Overall, oil rinsing makes my hair feel good and retain moisture from the treatments that preceded this step.

Then I put on a turbie twistie to get out the excess water till my hair is just about damp, not wet.
I then moisturize and style as detailed above
Other leave ins I tried and liked: Hempz leave in detangler from TJ maxx, shea moisture hold and shine mist.
Other moisturizers I'm incorporating: Alaffia virgin shea and coconut moisturizing lotion (I was almost about to throw this out when I tried it again with this method and my hair loved it this time!), oyin honey hemp conditioner and the shea moisture (both raw shea butter and curl enhancing smoothie lines)

Sounds like a process but I love my hair and I'm willing to go lengths to fall in love with it even further.

PM me Sesi, if you'd like, we can go on a "softness challenge" and experiment together.