naturals help me out

[locabouthair]

Okay here's the deal. I have a weave in now that I am dying to take out because it NEEDS to be taken out and I'm really sick of it. Anyway, I plan on taking it out this friday doing a pre shampoo treatment, shampooing and then a deep condition with oil and honey because my hair needs moisture. My mom calls me tonight and spoke to my hairdresser about my plans and they both think that my hair (which is natural 4a/4b) is too thick for me to manage. I've been doing my research almost every day on this site. From what I have learned so far it's a lot easier to wash and detangle in sections. And to start detangling from the ends down. And that it's also best to only comb when it's wet or when it has some conditioner in it. Ladies let me know if I am leaving anything out. I know that there are thick natural sistas out there. Is it really that hard to manage natural hair because my hairdresser and mother are so convinced that if I try I will make a mess of my hair.

 

[hopeful]

I have course 4a/b hair and I just love it so much in its natural state. It's not easy to manage but neither is damaged, breaking relaxed hair. In the end I guess you just have to want to be natural more than being relaxed. I don't think it's really hard or easy. Looking pretty and having healthy hair takes time and effort, period. Figure out why you want to be natural, plan a regimen, be flexible and go for it. It's certainly worth giving it a try. Moisture is really important and so is being gentle. Good luck!

 

[kristina]

ITA with the first comment. I have very course natural hair (4a I think) and my mom told me to relax it for the same reason. I'm so glad I didn't though because once I learned how to manage my natural hair, I really liked being natural. Now my mom complements me on my hair and swears that my hair texture has become more managable since the last time she saw me. My advice is don't get a relaxer unless you are totally sure and do a few strand tests. As for detangling never detangle dry and don't treat your natural hair like relaxed hair. No matter what you are going to have to work to get your hair to look great. In ways being natural is more difficult but then again there are advantages to it as well.

 

[hopeful]

bumpity bump...

 

[Belladonna]

The best advice is : to have patience with your hair and yourself. If you decide to stay natural, texturize ,relax or whatever ; you have to get to know your new hair. You will definetly get info and support at this forum.Good luck ....and be patient

 

[lsubabiedee]

ur hair will not be hard to manage once u figure out what to do and not do to it...u have to change ur way of thinking about hair care...u cant treat natural hair like u would treat relaxed hair

there are many women with natural hair like yours and they get along just fine...practice makes perfect

 

[moda]

ur hair will not be hard to manage once u figure out what to do and not do to it...u have to change ur way of thinking about hair care...u cant treat natural hair like u would treat relaxed hair

there are many women with natural hair like yours and they get along just fine...practice makes perfect

ITA !! I was told by random stylists that I needed my hair to be relaxed to wear certain styles that I am now wearing without a relaxer. You really have to find what works for you, I was so disgusted with my hair 6 months ago that I made and canceled 3 appts. to get it relaxed. I am glad I decided against it because now I really love what I have been able to do with my hair, now that I have accepted my hair for what it is, and not for what I or someone else wanted it to be.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

 

[JenJen2721]

I have course 4a/b hair and I just love it so much in its natural state. It's not easy to manage but neither is damaged, breaking relaxed hair. In the end I guess you just have to want to be natural more than being relaxed. I don't think it's really hard or easy. Looking pretty and having healthy hair takes time and effort, period. Figure out why you want to be natural, plan a regimen, be flexible and go for it. It's certainly worth giving it a try. Moisture is really important and so is being gentle. Good luck!

ITA and want to add, don't let your Mom and your stylist dictate what you do with your hair. I made that mistake several years ago, when I thought about going natural and my mom basically said, "You'll have nappy hair like your Daddy." That was before these forums and I thought nappy hair was bad, so I went through the cycle of relaxing and damage for years. Several years later, my Mom decided to go natural herself and has been natural ever since. She's learned to appreciate natural hair and now that I'm natural, she's actually asking me for hair tips even though she's been natural longer than I have! I regret not doing it sooner!!!

Plus, I don't know how close you are to your hairdresser, but she's probably going to lose your business $, if you decide to stay natural. It's in HER best interest for you to get a relaxer.

Sorry for rambling, but ultimately I'm saying do what's best for you and not based upon someone elses beliefs about YOUR hair. Only get a relaxer if that's what YOU want. You said you've been doing your research everyday on this site. Perhaps you can teach your Mom and hairstylist some things about hair care. Especially natural hair care and dispel their myths that natural hair is hard to take care of.

--Jen

 

[Netta1]

Well I think it sounds like you've got a pretty good routine there, just make sure that you check the ingrediants in the products that your using. My natural hair has been easier to take care of (overall). And my natural hair is just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay thicker then my relaxed (which actually is a good thing when you think about it).