My Response Wasn't Good Enough

[LovelyZ]

Have you ever had someone ask you what was making your hair grow so fast/healthy and when you told them, your response was not very well received?

I visited my Mom the other day and it happened to be a rare occasion when I had my hair down. She commented on how long it had grown since the last time she saw it out and asked me what I was doing to make it grow. I told her I had been wearing it in a protective style all the time and her response to me was a lackluster "oh". She looked so disappointed like she expected some magic potion was making my hair grow.

I am very excited about my hair progress and I try to share what I'm doing (protective styles, relaxer stretches, etc.) with my family and friends when they ask but when I try to tell them they don't want to hear that stuff.

Anyone else experiencing this?

 

[Country gal]

It seems people are either looking for a magic pill or cream to grow their hair. It also seems they are quick to brush off your length/hair growth by saying oh" you got good hair, or always had long hair. It seems TLC is never enough of a response. I feel my hair is growing because I do protective styles, wash frequently and keep my hair well moistened.

I get the well I would go natural if my hair was like yours. My hair is the result of constant TLC.

 

[Isis]

I've experienced this also on several occasions. Many want to hear about a quick fix or a "magic potion" as you mentioned rather than anything that requires some kind of effort. Sometimes when people ask, I now know they may not really want to know, it's just a rhetorical question.

For example, recently a lady complimented me on my hair and asked what I did to get it to grow long. I was eager to share and got about two words out but she had already walked on by.

 

[Country gal]

I've experienced this also on several occasions. Many want to hear about a quick fix or a "magic potion" as you mentioned rather than anything that requires some kind of effort. Sometimes when people ask, I now know they may not really want to know, it's just a rhetorical question.

For example, recently a lady complimented me on my hair and asked what I did to get it to grow long. I was eager to share and got about two words out but she had already walked on by.

I think you are on to something. It could just be a rhetorical question cause it seems they don't believe or are willing to put in the steps to get your result.

 

[LovelyZ]

Sometimes when people ask, I now know they may not really want to know, it's just a rhetorical question.

For example, recently a lady complimented me on my hair and asked what I did to get it to grow long. I was eager to share and got about two words out but she had already walked on by.

LOL , I never considered that. I always just assume they really want to know.

 

[Dlene]

Yeah, I am right now and I hate it. Here I am trying to help my friend out and ok she wants to act like she knows everything. That's whawt pisses me off. I had my hair pressed and curled yesterday and I had grown quite a bit from the last time I had worn my hair down. Too bad, the first time my friend saw me today she didn't want to say anything but 2 hours later she saw me at school and wanted to be like hey, you're hair is pretty, who did it....yadda yadda yadda. I was mad, but I didn't show it. Because when she asked I told her and she seemed like oh well my method is better. Her method is what is keeping her at neck length with thin hair: relaxing every month and I repeat EVERY MONTH, combing her hair up to 3 or 4 times a day with a little-tooth comb, wrapping her hair all the time and wearing it with cotton scarves. I was like whatever, don't ask me for my advice anymore. And she knows, because I knew she had her doubts when I told her, but she sure is quiet now when she saw me with her hair down. Man, people....people!

 

[LovelyZ]

Her method is what is keeping her at neck length with thin hair: relaxing every month and I repeat EVERY MONTH , combing her hair up to 3 or 4 times a day with a little-tooth comb, wrapping her hair all the time and wearing it with cotton scarves. I was like whatever, don't ask me for my advice anymore. And she knows, because I knew she had her doubts when I told her, but she sure is quiet now when she saw me with her hair down. Man, people....people!

Poor thing. She's doing all the "Don'ts"!!!!!

 

[Jewell]

See, this is why I don't offer hair advice to people unless they have a genuine desire to listen and change their habits!

 

[Miss*Tress]

I just tell them it's natural and effortless.

 

[beyondcute]

You know what I was there not to long ago so I understand the disbelief. Never in a million years would I think Id be transitioing and using horse oil on my hair Imagine what happens when people hear what Ive go to say. And if I tell them that they wont believe that low manipulation and vitamins and stretching relaxers actually help promote hair growth.

 

[beyondcute]

I offered advice to a friend that was loosing chunks of hair. I told her to use a lighter relaxer and not leave it in for 30 minutes (which she was doing by the CLOCK!) She said "I dont think thats the problem... I think its hormonal." Ummkay... I give up. If another person asks me Ill tell them and then thats it. No persuading no nothing. The last tiem I was in the BSS a lady asked me what I was using, I picked it up and showed her and she said "I think my blue magic works better." Ummmmkay so why u ask me how my hair got so thick?

Also imagine telling someone who has been told over and over that they should not wash thier hair but once every 2-4 weeks that they should no poo every 2-4 days.... Theyll try to get you put in the looney bin!

 

[Country gal]

I'm with you Beyond Cute, why did she ask you if she was going to rely on Blue magic.

 

[HairPhoenix]

I am surprised at how many women out there actually think there is one magic pill or hair product that you just have to be using to make your hair grow. I am even more surprised when you try to explain that there is none and that it's a combination of things, they don't want to hear it. It's like more than one step completely blows their minds and you must be full of

What is with people like that?

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

We have madam CJ Walker to thank for this "miracle growth potion" phenomenon. Before she came on the scene it was very rare for a black woman to have hair down to her shoulders, but then she came up whith her products that helped moisturize and promote hair growth. A lot of her products were marketed as 'miracle potions', which they were at the time.

Now, however, our health and nutrition has improved, but hair care has not which still leaves women with short unhealthy hair.

So basically there are a lot of women out there who have grown up with that mindset and have passed it down, not realizing that proper nutrition and care is what makes hair grow. Not genetics or growth potions. Genetics plays a part, but not to the extent that some black women would like to make it.