MrsJaiDiva
Embracing the Light
I read this, and just Knew I had to share it. Read...discuss...
http://khamitkinks.com/blog/2012/08/07/auto-draft-2/When did we get here? What is the purpose of black women today pitting themselves one against another over hair choices??? The very notion that we have created a reason (over hair) to pit ourselves one against another is totally insane and at this point, heart breaking in my opinion. And this practice reached a fever pitch in the advent of Gymnast and Gold Medal winner Gabby Douglass hitting the world stage. The focus on her hair, its texture and styling was to me, a sad commentary on the mind-set of some women. One sister even ‘admitted’ that Gabby’s hair was the first thing she noticed when seeing her. Oh really? This highly accomplished young gymnast who has sparkling eyes, a mega-watt smile, flawless skin and sculpted body and an energy so positive and assured and the first thing you noticed was her hair? I think that says nothing about Gabby and everything about her perspective. When did we become so shallow? Even Solange Knowles had had enough of people tweeting about how her hair wasn’t coiffed enough and good for her, she pushed back on that commentary.
But Gabby aside, this idea that we should judge our sisters, make assumptions about them, their values and consciousness based on whether their hair is natural or not, styled to the tee, has really got to stop. It’s a practice that only further divides us (and the Lord knows we don’t need yet another reason to be divided) down a slippery slope of isolation from the ones we need the most, our sisters.
In the first place, even if how we are wearing our hair is believed by some to be better because it’s natural, healthier, etc, who are we to say that that is what every other black woman in the world should want and aspire to? And if it is true all those good things about natural hair, do you really think we’re going to win sisters over to the natural side of the street by being arrogant, self- righteousness and demeaning??? I think not. In many instances, I think just the opposite is true. Instead, I think we are offending others, pushing them away from the very notion of considering to be natural because we are turning them off with negativity and an arrogant approach. In fact, some women may become so turned off that they may dig their heels in just to say, ‘who do you think you are insulting me in this way, bad mouthing, and badgering me about my choices around my hair’. They may think that if they become natural, they may become like ‘a natural hair gangster’ too.
This is no way to proceed and all this attitude about, “I know best what you should do with your permed hair” really needs to stop! I say ‘CEASE AND DESIST’. Please leave sisters alone about their hair choices unless you can think of an positive route, an appeal that is filled with loving kindness, then you should consider spending your energy in other ways. I’ll admit that while I have grown in this respect over my 35+ years in the natural hair industry. I did have a double standard for some with permed hair, my nieces. Though I never bad mouthed other sisters (my focus was always on what is most healthy for hair) I would some times volunteer advice. I no longer do that. I let them approach me about other options. I have seen the light with my nieces and quite some time ago with anyone else who wishes to wear their hair chemically processed. That’s their choice.
At this point as a pioneer in the natural hair industry, I am ready to defend sisters with chemically processed hair who are being taunted just because in the scheme of things, it’s not about how someone wears their hair; honestly and truly, it’s about what’s in their heads and what’s in their hearts. Think about it, if you or a loved one were lying on an operating table and the doctor that would be operating happened to be a sister with a perm, would you insist that you had to have a doctor with natural hair or have the latest fly style? I think not!
Listen, we’ve come ‘A Long Way Baby’! We have sisters doing everything you can imagine to be very proud of. They are heading large corporations, they are industry leaders, sitting of Boards of Directors, they are doctors, lawyers very fine educators, and mothers of successful children and there is even a sister who is the First Lady of this country! Have Mercy!!! We have big fish to fry and quite frankly it’s embarrassing to see my sisters focused negatively on something as superficial as how another woman is wearing her hair when she is on the world stage, breaking world records, or she could be just another sister sitting on the subway headed to work. It matters not, leave her alone about her hair. Find something more meaningful to put into cyberspace would you please.
Your hair is natural, it’s beautiful and healthy, you love it, and it works for you? Then good, GREAT, keep on rocking that thang and be a shinning example of an intelligent, caring, loving sister to our sisters who have not chosen our hair road. She’s on her own road. Meet her there and find out what you can learn from her. You could learn a lot. She then may be interested to know what she can learn from you. She may even like your hair and what to know about it or she may not. So be it. Let her be, and continue to LIVE AND LET LIVE.