Wow Sweepeadst, this sounds like my moms hair. When I knew she was washing her hair I just sat all the products I wanted her to use, sat them on the sing, and told her what to do. I also told her I don't wanna hear no back talk and ran. I've been suggesting what she should do for months, it may take time. Anyway, she loved the results.
Here's what she I did,
1) I made her clarify(ALOE RID)..her scalp was ridiculously dry and gross
2)use a moisturizing shampoo(NTM)
4)MIXTURE OF salerm 21 wheatgerm stuff,ntm mask, and volumizer conditoner(kenra), oh yeah nexxus kerraphix
Daily,
I she uses my blend jojoba and essential oils son her scalp, she used to use a big tub of vaseline on her hair.
Hope this helps.
Last but not least she go have to let them braids go, My sister hair was horrible from a bad perm and she grew it back with wigs.