My Man LOVES to make love to me...

T

taytay86

Well-Known Member
But I just can't do it everytime! Is it wrong for me to feel so satisfied by my man that I don't need to have sex often? Most guys I've dated lived far from me so I never got use to having sex "often". Now I'm in a seriously committed relationship and I'm having issues with "keeping up".

The truth is when it comes to love making, we have amazing chemistry; but I don't need it every day. As you can imagine, this has become an issue in our relationship. He even started to think I wasn't attracted to him. Why don't men understand:rolleyes:?

Call me pessimistic, but the last thing I want is for him to feel like I don't want him as much as he wants me - and in turn, fall for someone who will give him what he wants every time he asks.

Without making him feel like I have him on a schedule (cause you know our friend needs some breathing space!) Ladies how can I learn to compromise?
 
I have the same issue... i think a lot of women do. I dont need (or want for that matter) it every day.

I just tell him no thats all. But maybe I am just being mean ...:look:
 
I like sex a lot. My SO is away at school.
So whenever he comes home, we do it like we're saving it for later. LOL.:grin:
But I think things will change once he actually moves home this summer.
Then I might actually have to be like, "Okay, I'm busy. So I'll get up with you later."
You have to tactfully evade the issue. LOL.
But it's not abnormal for you to not want to have sex all the time.
 
Sounds like you two have different sex drives, that's all. Here's where good communication comes in. Perhaps you can talk to him about how you need a rest sometimes and that you don't have to have sex everyday to love him and feel loved by him.

On non-sex days you could turn up the affection, more deep, passionate kissing, more flirting, more touching etc. so he still feels like you are attracted to him. Then the next time you have sex, YOU initiate and take control. It will empower you, you won't feel so pawed on, and he'll realize that if he takes a step back he's not losing anything. it's a win-win situation!

Also, there are so many different activities you can enjoy together so you can get your 'rest' and he can get his 'relief'.
 
starfish said:
Sounds like you two have different sex drives, that's all. Here's where good communication comes in. Perhaps you can talk to him about how you need a rest sometimes and that you don't have to have sex everyday to love him and feel loved by him.

On non-sex days you could turn up the affection, more deep, passionate kissing, more flirting, more touching etc. so he still feels like you are attracted to him. Then the next time you have sex, YOU initiate and take control. It will empower you, you won't feel so pawed on, and he'll realize that if he takes a step back he's not losing anything. it's a win-win situation!

Also, there are so many different activities you can enjoy together so you can get your 'rest' and he can get his 'relief'.
Click to expand...

That sounds nice, but my man would just be even more annoyed about not getting any after all that!

OP: I am having the same issue. I know that my lower-than-usual drive stems from a few different factors (just lost my mother, really stressed out at work lately, ect.), but SO still takes it personally. Men just generally equate sex with their girlfriend/wife with love. They feel like we're rejecting them when we aren't ready to get down all the time. Honestly, if I'm feeling really benevolent, I'll *ahem* "step up to the microphone". One of two things happens: 1) he's satisfied and happy or 2) I get in the mood while I'm doing it, then we're BOTH satisfied and happy.
 
starfish said:
Sounds like you two have different sex drives, that's all. Here's where good communication comes in. Perhaps you can talk to him about how you need a rest sometimes and that you don't have to have sex everyday to love him and feel loved by him.

On non-sex days you could turn up the affection, more deep, passionate kissing, more flirting, more touching etc. so he still feels like you are attracted to him. Then the next time you have sex, YOU initiate and take control. It will empower you, you won't feel so pawed on, and he'll realize that if he takes a step back he's not losing anything. it's a win-win situation!

Also, there are so many different activities you can enjoy together so you can get your 'rest' and he can get his 'relief'.
Click to expand...

I see your point, but the deep passionate kissing will only make it worse. It's really bad...in a good way I guess:rolleyes: I'll call and say I'm coming over and instantly he's "sexually frustrated/egar" and then I get pounced on. All I have to do it touch him indirectly and he's "ready" I mean i shouldn't complain as this is a huge compliment, but my friend can't handle the beating everyday:nono:
 
taytay86 said:
But I just can't do it everytime! Is it wrong for me to feel so satisfied by my man that I don't need to have sex often? Most guys I've dated lived far from me so I never got use to having sex "often". Now I'm in a seriously committed relationship and I'm having issues with "keeping up".

The truth is when it comes to love making, we have amazing chemistry; but I don't need it every day. As you can imagine, this has become an issue in our relationship. He even started to think I wasn't attracted to him. Why don't men understand:rolleyes:?

Call me pessimistic, but the last thing I want is for him to feel like I don't want him as much as he wants me - and in turn, fall for someone who will give him what he wants every time he asks.

Without making him feel like I have him on a schedule (cause you know our friend needs some breathing space!) Ladies how can I learn to compromise?
Click to expand...


I've got the opposite problem. I'm reaching 40 and he can't keep up! I remember those days. I wish I could help.
 
taytay86 said:
But I just can't do it everytime! Is it wrong for me to feel so satisfied by my man that I don't need to have sex often? Most guys I've dated lived far from me so I never got use to having sex "often". Now I'm in a seriously committed relationship and I'm having issues with "keeping up".

The truth is when it comes to love making, we have amazing chemistry; but I don't need it every day. As you can imagine, this has become an issue in our relationship. He even started to think I wasn't attracted to him. Why don't men understand:rolleyes:?

Call me pessimistic, but the last thing I want is for him to feel like I don't want him as much as he wants me - and in turn, fall for someone who will give him what he wants every time he asks.

Without making him feel like I have him on a schedule (cause you know our friend needs some breathing space!) Ladies how can I learn to compromise?
Click to expand...

ditto:look:..........buy lots of vitamins, drinks lots of water, exercise....maybe a lil summin summin to get you going, i'll let u guess:sekret:
 
starfish said:
Sounds like you two have different sex drives, that's all. Here's where good communication comes in. Perhaps you can talk to him about how you need a rest sometimes and that you don't have to have sex everyday to love him and feel loved by him.

On non-sex days you could turn up the affection, more deep, passionate kissing, more flirting, more touching etc. so he still feels like you are attracted to him. Then the next time you have sex, YOU initiate and take control. It will empower you, you won't feel so pawed on, and he'll realize that if he takes a step back he's not losing anything. it's a win-win situation!

Also, there are so many different activities you can enjoy together so you can get your 'rest' and he can get his 'relief'.
Click to expand...

ITA with your post. The sad and frustrating thing is some men (even ole ****'s in my age group:ohwell:)still continue to push at you even when your obviously not in the mood after you have had that "I don't want it everyday,its overkill" discussion. It really frustrates both the man and the woman in these types of situations.

I can feel the OP pain because I gave up 6 months of celibacy and the plumber was pissing me off trying to lay pipe er'day! If the man would leave the woman alone and act like its nothing she more than likely will initiate the sex herself.:yep:

I told my guy he knew I had sexual hangups from day one and I refuse to screw somebody when I am not in the mood unless I'm married. I also reminded him that he knew I was waiting til my daughter finishes at University to get serious with anyone which is why I am dating him exclusively now. (he better be happy he is filling the position:look: )
My last and final statement on this issue was I am very attracted to you sexually and you satisfy on many levels but when I start asking him to pay all my bills, a weekly stipend and more honey do's then its ok to expect to entertain Puscilla nightly and by that time I will probably be your wife. I did tell him to go find a freaky woman if he wants it that bad. He said he will pass and well at least I don't have to worry about you cheating. :spinning: In my head I was like :rolleyes: :lachen: Outta my mouth I said well if you cheat I'm dumping your *** countryboy! (true story just happened last month)
I so miss long distance relationships but unfortunately now is the time to deal with the daily reality of relationships. Its time for mommy bird to let the baby bird fly and settle down with a good ole man.
 
LOL - so true. My man has many hobbies, he cooks (he's a sous chef), is a movie conisseur and love his Final Fantasy and Naruto. I think the issue he he and I are so compatible when it comes to sex that he's always turned on and always wants to do it - where I need a day or two to really feel like I need it cuz he satisfies me everytime.

Right now I am trying my best to cater to him a bit more, and so far it's not so bad.
 
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