My hair is destroyed HELP!!!!!

[Sunnrayy]

Ladies help!!!!!!!


It's a long story but I've been coloring my hair a honey brown and transitioning for a year. Disaster. I know I should have never colored now and will never do it again because the color and the heat from straightening destroyed my hair and it's been breaking like crazy

So I say okay I'm done with color and heat straightening. I'm gonna grow out my color and go back to my relaxer. I wait 3 mths and I go to a salon to get relaxed. I had no permed hair on my head but I did have colored hair on my head. Needless to say he relaxed it and put me under the dryer and it came out a crunchy mess literally. It was breaking as he was styling it and all over my back I could feel little hairs. I don't know if I'm under processed or what? I'm at a loss and every time I touch my hair there are little hairs falling all
over the place. I know I've done EVERYTHING wrong that I could have. I need help to fix my hairerplexed if it can be fixed. HELP PLEASE


BTW: he used Affirm relaxer. I assumed it was lye but I did see him mixing something into the little container of relaxer and I asked if it was lye and he said yes. HELP!!!!

Thanks in advance

 

[chebaby]

if it were me i would cut it all off and start over. to me it sounds like you have damaged your hair beyond repair and there is nothing else to do but to cut it.

 

[PPGbubbles]

Your stylist needs a he relaxed hair that is color and heat damaged???

*ppg faints* where are the smelling salts??

I dont know where start.... alll I know is you have to baby the mess out of your hair for a while.

What is your current length OP? I ask because you may need to do a series of mini chops

 

[HappilyLiberal]

if it were me i would cut it all off and start over. to me it sounds like you have damaged your hair beyond repair and there is nothing else to do but to cut it.

Ditto... I don't think this can be fixed. Some people's hair can't handle color; I know mine can't so I don't even go there anymore.

 

[manter26]

Getting a relaxer was probably the worst thing you could do... If it's falling out with only a touch it might be best to BC and start over. Other than that you can assess your protein and moisture balance and see if any treatments might help. I would start with protein and follow up with a DC...I don't see that doing much though, given the current condition.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

Good suggestions from the previous posters....

while you're at it, drop your hair dresser/stylist. He obviously isn't that well versed in healthy hair.

 

[Sunnrayy]

Your stylist needs a he relaxed hair that is color and heat damaged???

*ppg faints* where are the smelling salts??

I dont know where start.... alll I know is you have to baby the mess out of your hair for a while.

What is your current length OP? I ask because you may need to do a series of mini chops

I know, its a mess. I just want to cry

My current length is an uneven neck length. broken off in spots and crunchy.
Maybe I should just cut it off

Im so upset

 

[Sunnrayy]

Getting a relaxer was probably the worst thing you could do... If it's falling out with only a touch it might be best to BC and start over. Other than that you can assess your protein and moisture balance and see if any treatments might help. I would start with protein and follow up with a DC...I don't see that doing much though, given the current condition.

Right. Thanks.

 

[Sunnrayy]

Good suggestions from the previous posters....

while you're at it, drop your hair dresser/stylist. He obviously isn't that well versed in healthy hair.

He has definitely been dropped. My hair was healthier when I was doing it myself and longer.

 

[Sunnrayy]

bumping for more responses

 

[newnyer]

I used to color & relax my hair back in the day with no issue...until one day (about 3 years ago) I decided to venture out to see a new stylist who didn't know my hair. My hair started falling out on a daily basis- so much so that I had to cut off all my hair that was double-processed. I was so confused as to why I had such a bad experience...until my REGULAR stylist explained the necessity to use only MILD relaxer on my hair & even then could not be processed for too long-my particular head of hair can't take anything more. Anyway, this is all to say that my only resolution was to moisturize/DC/protein infuse my remaining hair like CRAZY and let whatever breakage run its course. And trust me- there was definitely consistent breakage the 1st 2 weeks...the damage had already been done. Then I simply had to cut it into a pixie cut. On a positive note- the style turned out to be REALLY cute & complemented me...but it was definitely an experience.

Sent from my myTouch_4G_Slide using myTouch_4G_Slide

 

[mEmYSELFaNDj]

All the suggestions above sound good as a start to get you back on track. OMG I'm soo sorry this happened to you though. Ugh!! @ some stylist these days. They better get on LHCF and learn something.

 

[Sunnrayy]

I used to color & relax my hair back in the day with no issue...until one day (about 3 years ago) I decided to venture out to see a new stylist who didn't know my hair. My hair started falling out on a daily basis- so much so that I had to cut off all my hair that was double-processed. I was so confused as to why I had such a bad experience...until my stylist explained the necessity to use only MILD relaxer on my hair & even then could not be processed for too long-my particular head of hair can't take anything more. Anyway, this is all to say that my only resolution was to moisturize/DC/protein infuse my remaining hair like CRAZY and let whatever breakage run its course. And trust me- there was definitely consistent breakage the 1st 2 weeks...the damage had already been done. Then I simply had to cut it into a pixie cut. On a positive note- the style turned out to be REALLY cute & complemented me...but it was definitely an experience.

Sent from my myTouch_4G_Slide using myTouch_4G_Slide

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I think I'm just going to moisturize/DC/Protein for a few weeks and bun it. Let the breakage run its course like you said and cut it off and weave it up or cut it off into a pixie cut also. Maybe after a few weeks of TLC to my hair I will have calmed down and will be able to make a rational decision. Right now I'm so upset I just want to cut it all off Amber Rose style.

 

[Computer Blue]

Ladies help!!!!!!!



BTW: he used Affirm relaxer. I assumed it was lye but I did see him mixing something into the little container of relaxer and I asked if it was lye and he said yes. HELP!!!!

Thanks in advance

If the bold it true, either he lied or doesn't have any business doing hair. Affirm lye relaxers only come in a large tub, no mixing to be done. Mixing is done with the no lye relaxers which come in the small tubs. Personally he wouldn't be in my hair. I have seen people act like those two relaxers are interchangeable....they aren't.

As far as color, sorry I don't have any advice, but I personally would start over.

 

[mzteaze]

I think it comes down to how much you are willing to do.

1) If you go the route of trying to salvage your hair, I would suggest you do some light reading on the following products:

Dudley's DRC-28 (Heavy protein)
Nexxus Emergencee

you will want to follow those by a really good moisturizing DC, like:

Joico Intense Moisture Hydrator
Joico Moisture Recovery Balm
Kenra Deep Moisture Condish (the name might not be just right)

If you go this route, you will need to baby your hair like you have never babied it before. Work hard to do both moisture infusion AND protein balance. I would even suggest you START your wash day by using Chicoro's pre-poo moisture method, shampoo, Protein for up to 20 minutes with heat then follow with a minimum of 30 minutes moisture DC.

The downside to this: The products I listed are well received by many on the board but they aren't cheap. This especially if you don't see the results you want and still have to resort to option #2.

2) BC - cut out the damaged areas and work on getting your program together to recover.

This is the harder yet less expensive option. Its harder because its a setback but its one that you can weather with the right practice.

BTW, I am a colored natural. If you choose to keep color, you absolutely have to stay on top of your routine. You must regularly infuse moisture along with protein at least once a week. I haven't had any problems yet, but, I can see why it won't work for everyone.

 

[Prudent1]

^^^Piggybacking off of what mztease said about coloring natural hair. I reward myself when I reach hair/ length goals by coloring my hair. I also use hardcore proteins like MT on a regular basis. So, I say all of that to say this, when/ if you decide to introduce any chemical into the mix, you have to stay on top of the moisture game. I must DC a minimum of once week during the summer and 2 to 3 times a week any other time of the year. There can be no off days or I can kiss my strands goodbye. I would at least try babying my hair (moisture+ protein) as suggested and let the breakage be gradually trimmed away unless I saw it was futile. Hop you will recover soon OP.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Can we see a photo? Sometimes things look better from another point of view.

 

[natural2008]

Just cut it now and get it over with so your new healthy hair can come through. If you don't like the bad look you can wear wigs and beautiful head wraps.

 

[koolkittychick]

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you.

Almost three years ago, I was also a self-colored natural, then I made the mistake of going to a "natural" salon to get my roots done, and they destroyed my hair with a double process bleaching method of color. I waited about 9 months for the color to grow out, then went to a salon to go get a relaxer (I couldn't deal with the damaged texture anymore) and cut the colored ends off.

My stylist was a miracle worker; she used the Paul Mitchell relaxer and color correction system and I ended up losing only 2 inches of hair (I was APL) and had a head of shiny, healthy dark brown hair. So it's more than likely it was the stylist error during the process that has left your hair in bad shape.

Since you have already tried relaxing your hair on top of the color with poor results, I would not recommend any more chemical processes for a while. Baby your hair as much as possible (DC and moisturizing are a MUST) and wait a few weeks, then find a trusted stylist who can help you transition/BC back to square one.

We all have these setbacks; it's just a matter of learning from them and just moving forward, one step at a time.

 

[newnyer]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I think I'm just going to moisturize/DC/Protein for a few weeks and bun it. Let the breakage run its course like you said and cut it off and weave it up or cut it off into a pixie cut also. Maybe after a few weeks of TLC to my hair I will have calmed down and will be able to make a rational decision. Right now I'm so upset I just want to cut it all off Amber Rose style.

You are very welcome. Hope our comments have helped. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling, and wish I had LHCF back then for support years ago. I went from a healthy head of SL hair to multiple and obvious areas of breakage that had less than 1 inch of hair. I didn't mind the idea of extremely short hair, but the thought of being FORCED to start over while being so unprepared depressed me. IMO, taking the time to see the final result of my damage while taking care of my existing hair gave me some emotional time to get used to the idea and really assess the damage. I had originally planned to get a weave for awhile to gain some growth before final cutting-so you can definitely do that, too....but by the end of the month I was just ready to move on & start taking care of my hair again. So I took a deep breath & my stylist cut the raggedy *** hair that was left on my head--and by then I was not only ready but excited for the results---a fresh head of healthy hair (regardless of how short it was). Do whatever you are comfortable with, but let us know whatever you decide...I'm sure your story can help someone else on here.

P.S. I have DEFINITELY learned my lesson. I've chosen to keep the relaxer but absolutely no chemical coloring at the same time. I'm not taking that chance again. It's one or the other for me.

Sent from my myTouch_4G_Slide using myTouch_4G_Slide

 

[TeeMBL]

I think it comes down to how much you are willing to do.

1) If you go the route of trying to salvage your hair, I would suggest you do some light reading on the following products:

Dudley's DRC-28 (Heavy protein)
Nexxus Emergencee

you will want to follow those by a really good moisturizing DC, like:

Joico Intense Moisture Hydrator
Joico Moisture Recovery Balm
Kenra Deep Moisture Condish (the name might not be just right)

If you go this route, you will need to baby your hair like you have never babied it before. Work hard to do both moisture infusion AND protein balance. I would even suggest you START your wash day by using Chicoro's pre-poo moisture method, shampoo, Protein for up to 20 minutes with heat then follow with a minimum of 30 minutes moisture DC.

The downside to this: The products I listed are well received by many on the board but they aren't cheap. This especially if you don't see the results you want and still have to resort to option #2.

2) BC - cut out the damaged areas and work on getting your program together to recover.

This is the harder yet less expensive option. Its harder because its a setback but its one that you can weather with the right practice.

BTW, I am a colored natural. If you choose to keep color, you absolutely have to stay on top of your routine. You must regularly infuse moisture along with protein at least once a week. I haven't had any problems yet, but, I can see why it won't work for everyone.

If you're nervous about cutting it all off, I would do the above. There's no harm in trying to save what you have, if all else fails in a few weeks just cut it off. But also, if you are able to save the hair you have left and stop the breakage, your routine will have to focus on babying the damaged hair for the rest of your HHJ until you eventually trim all the damaged ends. I've been babying some of my hair (that's still growing very well, and with the right products I'm able to tame it) that was overprocessed and slowly trimming for the past year, it's a lot of work but I didn't want to cut it off completely, so it is possible.

 

[Sunnrayy]

If the bold it true, either he lied or doesn't have any business doing hair. Affirm lye relaxers only come in a large tub, no mixing to be done. Mixing is done with the no lye relaxers which come in the small tubs. Personally he wouldn't be in my hair. I have seen people act like those two relaxers are interchangeable....they aren't.

As far as color, sorry I don't have any advice, but I personally would start over.

That's what i thought. I sat there and said to him i wanted a lye relaxer and he said it was. Here is a picture of what he used. I looked at it and remembered the name. I'm so mad at myself right now.

 

[Sunnrayy]

I think it comes down to how much you are willing to do.

1) If you go the route of trying to salvage your hair, I would suggest you do some light reading on the following products:

Dudley's DRC-28 (Heavy protein)
Nexxus Emergencee

you will want to follow those by a really good moisturizing DC, like:

Joico Intense Moisture Hydrator
Joico Moisture Recovery Balm
Kenra Deep Moisture Condish (the name might not be just right)

If you go this route, you will need to baby your hair like you have never babied it before. Work hard to do both moisture infusion AND protein balance. I would even suggest you START your wash day by using Chicoro's pre-poo moisture method, shampoo, Protein for up to 20 minutes with heat then follow with a minimum of 30 minutes moisture DC.

The downside to this: The products I listed are well received by many on the board but they aren't cheap. This especially if you don't see the results you want and still have to resort to option #2.

2) BC - cut out the damaged areas and work on getting your program together to recover.

This is the harder yet less expensive option. Its harder because its a setback but its one that you can weather with the right practice.

BTW, I am a colored natural. If you choose to keep color, you absolutely have to stay on top of your routine. You must regularly infuse moisture along with protein at least once a week. I haven't had any problems yet, but, I can see why it won't work for everyone.

This is GREAT advice. Thank you , Thank you , Thank you. I've calmed down now and am trying to come up with my plan of action and this helps a lot.

 

[Sunnrayy]

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you.

Almost three years ago, I was also a self-colored natural, then I made the mistake of going to a "natural" salon to get my roots done, and they destroyed my hair with a double process bleaching method of color. I waited about 9 months for the color to grow out, then went to a salon to go get a relaxer (I couldn't deal with the damaged texture anymore) and cut the colored ends off.

My stylist was a miracle worker; she used the Paul Mitchell relaxer and color correction system and I ended up losing only 2 inches of hair (I was APL) and had a head of shiny, healthy dark brown hair. So it's more than likely it was the stylist error during the process that has left your hair in bad shape.

Since you have already tried relaxing your hair on top of the color with poor results, I would not recommend any more chemical processes for a while. Baby your hair as much as possible (DC and moisturizing are a MUST) and wait a few weeks, then find a trusted stylist who can help you transition/BC back to square one.

We all have these setbacks; it's just a matter of learning from them and just moving forward, one step at a time.

Right Thanks so much. Im sure there was a LOT of error on his part. I'm also upset at myself because i should have known better but you live and you learn. Never again.

 

[Sunnrayy]

I think it comes down to how much you are willing to do.

1) If you go the route of trying to salvage your hair, I would suggest you do some light reading on the following products:

Dudley's DRC-28 (Heavy protein)
Nexxus Emergencee

you will want to follow those by a really good moisturizing DC, like:

Joico Intense Moisture Hydrator
Joico Moisture Recovery Balm
Kenra Deep Moisture Condish (the name might not be just right)

If you go this route, you will need to baby your hair like you have never babied it before. Work hard to do both moisture infusion AND protein balance. I would even suggest you START your wash day by using Chicoro's pre-poo moisture method, shampoo, Protein for up to 20 minutes with heat then follow with a minimum of 30 minutes moisture DC.

The downside to this: The products I listed are well received by many on the board but they aren't cheap. This especially if you don't see the results you want and still have to resort to option #2.

2) BC - cut out the damaged areas and work on getting your program together to recover.

This is the harder yet less expensive option. Its harder because its a setback but its one that you can weather with the right practice.

BTW, I am a colored natural. If you choose to keep color, you absolutely have to stay on top of your routine. You must regularly infuse moisture along with protein at least once a week. I haven't had any problems yet, but, I can see why it won't work for everyone.

mzteaze,

I've been examining your post and i thought I would take pictures of what i do have in my product arsenal at home and get suggestions of what to use from the stash I already have before I go out and buy anything. I'm really broke these days and I wasted 55.00 with him doing my hair when I would have been better off doing it myself. Anyway the attached pics of what I have are below. Let me know what products you think can be substituted for what you have above and what would be an absolute must.

I know I want to stay relaxed even if I cut all the hair off and started over I would eventually relax again. After a year long transition I see straight hair is what I want. It works best for me and I don't want to have to use heat so much to do it. I have also attached the Affirm relaxer pic of what I used to use before my transition. If I were able to revive my hair and thats a BIG IF, how long should I wait for a corrective lye relaxer? If I cut it all off and BC'd How long should I wait to relax then?

Any of you wonderful Ladies can chime in here as well THANKS

 

[Girl626]

Hey there OP... So sorry for this experience...

I think we've all been light in the pockets here and there... But you've got good stuff, and don't discount what you have in your fridge!

IMO, you could probably get away with DC treatments of olive oil/cholesterol mix under a heat cap... Mix in an egg for hard-core protein (but no heat).... I'd be careful of the protein treatments like aphogee (great product but with your damage, might be too harsh)... Baggying with the s-curl overnight for heavy moisture... And the Aveda products should be good. I wouldn't touch the Relaxer unless you BC... start fresh! Good luck, OP... And don't be discouraged. Everything will work out fine!

 

[Sunnrayy]

Hey there OP... So sorry for this experience...

I think we've all been light in the pockets here and there... But you've got good stuff, and don't discount what you have in your fridge!

IMO, you could probably get away with DC treatments of olive oil/cholesterol mix under a heat cap... Mix in an egg for hard-core protein (but no heat).... I'd be careful of the protein treatments like aphogee (great product but with your damage, might be too harsh)... Baggying with the s-curl overnight for heavy moisture... And the Aveda products should be good. I wouldn't touch the Relaxer unless you BC... start fresh! Good luck, OP... And don't be discouraged. Everything will work out fine!

Thanks so much!!!! These are great suggestions. If I can I'd love to use what I have. Money is so scarce these days.

 

[Sunnrayy]

Bumping for more suggestions on my products or any others

 

[mzteaze]

mzteaze,

I've been examining your post and i thought I would take pictures of what i do have in my product arsenal at home and get suggestions of what to use from the stash I already have before I go out and buy anything. I'm really broke these days and I wasted 55.00 with him doing my hair when I would have been better off doing it myself. Anyway the attached pics of what I have are below. Let me know what products you think can be substituted for what you have above and what would be an absolute must.

I know I want to stay relaxed even if I cut all the hair off and started over I would eventually relax again. After a year long transition I see straight hair is what I want. It works best for me and I don't want to have to use heat so much to do it. I have also attached the Affirm relaxer pic of what I used to use before my transition. If I were able to revive my hair and thats a BIG IF, how long should I wait for a corrective lye relaxer? If I cut it all off and BC'd How long should I wait to relax then?

Any of you wonderful Ladies can chime in here as well THANKS

Well, if you truly can't afford to purchase any products, I would stick with the Damage Remedy line from Aveda. It contains light botanical based proteins. However, you truly need a moisture infuser.

Do you have any aloe vera gel or juice? If you so, you can make a really nice moisture infuse pre-poo with that & your oils.

Yes, I agree with another poster that you may have to become a mixtress. If you go the egg route, make sure you beat it WELL and do not use heat on your head. I didn't have a problem with it cooking when I mixed with oils.

With the DR Intensive Condish, I would consider using that 30+ minutes. I can't comment on the Silk Elements. Although perhaps you should add the egg to the SE cholesterol to act as your protein DC.

Just a few ideas.

 

[Sunnrayy]

Well, if you truly can't afford to purchase any products, I would stick with the Damage Remedy line from Aveda. It contains light botanical based proteins. However, you truly need a moisture infuser.

Do you have any aloe vera gel or juice? If you so, you can make a really nice moisture infuse pre-poo with that & your oils.

BRB - need to look at your pics again.

I do have Aloe vera gel for the skin. A pic of it is attached below. Is that okay to use in the hair? If so I would love to use that with the oils as a moisture infuse....that's a great idea.

Anything else on the pics you see that's good to use?

Also I can buy one or two items. If I have to, I will make a sacrifice. Which two would be most important to add to what I already have in your opinion?

Thanks so much