My First Crush - Should I Meet Him? Should I Bring DC?

Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
So, I found my first crush on Facebook. I wasn't looking for him, but I saw him comment on a mutual friend's thread so I friended him.

Backstory - I had a crush on him in the 5th grade and he was a *gasp* 8th grader. In addition to going to the same schools, our families went to the same church. I joined the Usher Board just because he was on it :giggle: I remember I would just about faint when we got to stand next to each other guarding the doors during the Invocation :lol:)

I kind of lost touch with him after he graduated and went on to high school. From time to time I would bump into his mother, who absolutely adored me. (She called me the "daughter [she] never had" and always showed me so much love.) When I was about to go off to college, I heard from her that he had gotten married . . . to some girl who "looks just like [me]!" :rolleyes: Inside, I died a little when I found that out. But time marched on and I forgot about him.

So, this past week we friended each other on Facebook. In his profile, he says that he's "in a relationship" (so I guess he's divorced because what married person puts "in a relationship") -- and his profile pic is him, his girlfriend and a baby. (I thought it was his baby but turns out it's just his girlfriend's nephew). It also turns out that we now live in the same area. So, out of the blue, he sends me this PM saying "what happened to that cute, shy girl?" and then sends a follow up "you're still cute, just don't seem as shy as I remember." Now he wants to meet. :look:

I think it would be cool to catch up and see what he's been up to the last 20 years, but I also worry about his "motives." (See, guys? I still have no clue what's going on with men.) I'm wondering if I should suggest we meet up and bring our partners along . . . hrm . . . .
 
If it were me I think I would pass for now because I am so busy :blah:. I have a funny feeling about his motives as well. And seeing as he's in a relationship why is he telling you how cute you are? Either he's interested or sees you as the little sister he never had? Whatever the motive for now I would pass and focus on DC.
 
I'm sorry but a Facebook profile pic with him, his girlfriend, and her "nephew" sounds suspect already. I don't know a single dude who posts pictures of themselves (profile pictures at that) with a woman and kid(s) unless they were already playin the role of hubby and daddy.

You could go and meet him for old time sake I guess, but dont feel obligated in any way. Sounds like he has nothing but baggage and fishy motives for you. You're better than that.
 
I smell horse ****.... No single guys I know want to have a 'family' pic as there profile picture, because they don't want to scare off prsopects. If he were a nephew it would have been in an album (with an explanation in the caption), but not a profile pic.

Let this one go
 
But aren't you already dating that other dude?
I wouldn't suggest that you reconnct with him because it seems like his motives just aren't right ("You're still cute"). Obviously this is not going to be a totally friendly exchange and alot of old emotions could cloud your judgement.
 
Glib, you haven't been reading all of those "You're Single Until You're Married" encouragement threads, have you? :look: :lachen:

No, seriously, that was the first thought I had because I remembered you saying once that you wanted to get out there more and circulate a few dudes to get a taste of all your options. Nothing wrong with that at all (I wouldn't have minded dating double the amount of people I did before my SO, just for the experience/variety), but that was before you agreed to be exclusive w/ Dutchie, wasn't it?

Correct me if I'm totally off the beaten track. :yep: :grin:
 
It's possible that he just wants to reconnect. I actually had a guy friend who looked me up and it was completely innocent.

But you seem awfully excited about reconnecting with him for a woman in a relationship....does D.C. have long term potential or are you still looking?
 
ambergirl said:
It's possible that he just wants to reconnect. I actually had a guy friend who looked me up and it was completely innocent.

But you seem awfully excited about reconnecting with him for a woman in a relationship....does D.C. have long term potential or are you still looking?
Click to expand...

I was thinking about this too. Maybe she should meet up with him to satisfy her curiosity.

Let me say this first, facebook is the devil.

I was out of town at meeting and ran into my first love's father. We chatted for like 1 minute. Never mentioned anything about my marriage, nothing. That night here comes first love sending me a message on facebook. Now, I use my married name of facebook. Wouldn't you have to know that to find me? Haven't seen this guy in yearssssss.

We sent messages back and forth a couple of times. After awhile I stopped. I had this man in the back of my mind, maybe in the back of my heart all these years and he turned out to be .... average:perplexed. Nothing like the man I knew or had in my mind. So that was good for me. I was able to let that go.

Maybe GG can chat with him and see he's nothing like the person she imagined him to be when she was a child.
 
Ladies, thank you for your feedback.

You know, even though nothing ever happened, that first "crush" always holds a special place in your heart (hence my excitement). But I really, truly love Dutch Chocolate. (Haven't told him yet, but :look:) And yes I do think Old Dude having that picture on his FB profile is suspect. (Oh did I mention that he's already changed his picture - now it's just him and his girl :rolleyes:) Yep. I think I'mma have to let this one slide . . . not worth it. :nono:
 
I know I am in the minority here and you have already made up your mind but..........

I don't see anything wrong with having lunch with this dude and Keep It Moving. You seem to know that his situation has some holes and it's not like you are trying to hook up with him (from what I read in your post.)

Have lunch, have some giggles, show him you are doing just fine, find out what is going on in his life, and call it a day.

*Now I haven't read anything about the other guy but from reading here, I see you haven't told him you love him yet so it appears to be a new relationship that hasn't fully taken flight yet. *
 
Tee said:
I don't see anything wrong with having lunch with this dude and Keep It Moving. You seem to know that his situation has some holes and it's not like you are trying to hook up with him (from what I read in your post.)

Have lunch, have some giggles, show him you are doing just fine, find out what is going on in his life, and call it a day.
Click to expand...

You know what, though? I am so sensitive that I don't even want to play with fire . . . .

*Now I haven't read anything about the other guy but from reading here, I see you haven't told him you love him yet so it appears to be a new relationship that hasn't fully taken flight yet. *
Click to expand...

We've tossed around the word, but never said to each other "I love you." The closest we've gotten was one time that we both admitted that we were "falling in love" with each other. I'm waiting for him to say it first.
 
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