My brother is with a crack head, yall I messed up! Long

[Au-natural]

Ok. I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. I introduced my brother to a crack head!
Sept- I introduced my brother (47, divorced) to my neighbor (52 and divorced).
* I didn't know much about her but she seemed cool and very down to earth. My brother just returned from deployment and I thought that it would have been nice to have some company of the same age since he is always asking for a hook up with my friends. Long story short. These two are inseperable (sp). It's only Nov... That's not the issue, some things started to unfold about her... As my brother confided in me.

-This woman, has loads and loads of male friends who hang around her like she has a sports bar open.

-She is always "in need", I need gas, I need my brakes fixed, I need groceries... Etc.

- She explained to my brother that she did "a little" crack, "a little weed" and used to drink... I don't understand how one would need 5 years of speech therapy and rehab if they claim they weren't addicted to anything.

- I've seen her in a very drunk state before and she always has this high glaze in her eyes.

My brother in no way is any of these... But I just can't understand how he could be so oblivious. He is very very stupid when it comes to women, his last girlfriend was stealing his stuff and mailing it to her country. I told him when I first met her that she was a liar. (thats another story) I mean he really likes her and believes she is an Angel. Now I just got word that all of her male friends are current druggies and one constant friend is a dealer. I can't even talk to my brother because she told him "dont let my name come out of your mouth". I suspect she us currently using and I can't stand to be around her. Now thanksgiving is coming up and I'm getting shunned for not wanting to celebrate the holidays with someone who is using and lying to my brother. I also am kicking myself that I even introduced them.

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[dm81]

Please get him out of that situation....wouldn't want her to influence him in any other ways....

 

[mscocoface]

Nothing you do at this point is going to make everyone happy so you may as well be the the one comfortable with whatever choice you make.

Is you brother still in the military because if he is around someone smoking this stuff or it winds up in or around something he eats or drink and he tests positive for drug use this could be very traumatic.

Looking back now do you think there were definite signs that you may have ignored that made you suspicious of her? Not sure what to tell you on this one, do you have other friends that you can introduce him to?

Hoping the best for you during this holiday season.

 

[Klearli]

Have the family spend as much time as possible with the both of them. If she's using, other people will notice, and maybe someone can talk sense into him.

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[nicole625]

Please get him out of that situation....wouldn't want her to influence him in any other ways....

I agree 100% but in reality, there is nothing she can do but let him know what she knows. My brother was in this same situation and now he is dead. This april made one year since he's been gone. Op, do what you can but also ask yourself if he is really that clueless or if maybe he is now using drugs too?

 

[pookaloo83]

She had to go through speech therapy?? Damn.

 

[JeterCrazed]

I record conversations faithfully.

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[crlsweetie912]

I agree 100% but in reality, there is nothing she can do but let him know what she knows. My brother was in this same situation and now he is dead. This april made one year since he's been gone. Op, do what you can but also ask yourself if he is really that clueless or if maybe he is now using drugs too?

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.....

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[guyanesesista]

If he is still in the military they do drug tests after the holiday season so he better get himself outta there. Sorry about this. I hope he catches some sense.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I don't care HOW, but get your brother away from her. Birds of a feather really do flock together. If you don't get him away from her, he may become one of the flock.....especially if he has some money.

A drug addict will get an innocent person that has some money, and get him hooked so he can supply the money for the drugs. I've seen it happen....

 

[LongTimeComing]

Next time she has a get together with her friends, tell your brother that you need him to get something off of a high shelf at your house, and then call the cops...

 

[C@ssandr@]

Next time she has a get together with her friends, tell your brother that you need him to get something off of a high shelf at your house, and then call the cops...

I'm sorry but

Now that i've got that out of the way. I agree with having him and her come around the family. I'd keep my eyes on them two without being "extra" about it, because then they'll start sneaking around and that would be worse

 

[Au-natural]

What's funny the first time my mother father and other brothers met her, the was like No, is she an alcoholic or something... Why does she always look like she's in a daze. My mother was like why is she 52, two kids who she's not in contact with and jobless....

I knew there where signs... Ie. Bottles of wine in the trash, male voices in her apt... Everyone knows her in our neighborhood... All the men rather, and she told the story of where ever she lived women hated her. Never ever ever did her hair... I can't believe that my brother is planning on making her over... When I met her I felt sorry for her, she made it seem like she was depressed that she lost her job and she was planning on picking up a moving to NC, little did I know she was probably stressing because the stress losing her job possibly made her backslide which explains all the druggie company.

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[Au-natural]

Here's an extra extra disclaimer about my brother. Two Thanksgivings ago he was dealing w/ another woman, staying at her place, renting a room and paying the rent. He invited the family over, we had dinner. The next day he called me up and asked if I stole two f'n forks... I'm like what... How dare you insult me. About three months later, he called me up saying that the woman he was living with was packing his stuff away and sending it to DR and in her box he found his entire fork set. My brother is really quick to put down his own family for others.

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[BlackHairDiva]

Here's an extra extra disclaimer about my brother. Two Thanksgivings ago he was dealing w/ another woman, staying at her place, renting a room and paying the rent. He invited the family over, we had dinner. The next day he called me up and asked if I stole two f'n forks... I'm like what... How dare you insult me. About three months later, he called me up saying that the woman he was living with was packing his stuff away and sending it to DR and in her box he found his entire fork set. My brother is really quick to put down his own family for others.

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I sent you an Im and in short, Im telling do your darnest to get your brother out of the situation and also please please make sure to pray for your bro.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

I'm still trying to figure out why you would introduce your brother to someone you barely know. Better yet, why would you introduce your brother to someone you felt sorry for?

At this point there isn't too much you can do, but hope she doesn't influence your brother to take drugs.

This is really unfortunate and I hate to say this but you should have exercised a little more precaution before introducing her to someone in your family. All the signs were there, yet you proceed with bringing her into your family circle....

 

[Seeking8Rights]

I don't care HOW, but get your brother away from her. Birds of a feather really do flock together. If you don't get him away from her, he may become one of the flock.....especially if he has some money.

A drug addict will get an innocent person that has some money, and get him hooked so he can supply the money for the drugs. I've seen it happen....

Yup. This happened to one of DH's friends back home. Got caught up with some crackhead girl, trying to play captain save a haux and now he is strung out. Lost his home, job and everything.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

What's funny the first time my mother father and other brothers met her, the was like No, is she an alcoholic or something... Why does she always look like she's in a daze. My mother was like why is she 52, two kids who she's not in contact with and jobless....

I knew there where signs... Ie. Bottles of wine in the trash, male voices in her apt... Everyone knows her in our neighborhood... All the men rather, and she told the story of where ever she lived women hated her. Never ever ever did her hair... I can't believe that my brother is planning on making her over... When I met her I felt sorry for her, she made it seem like she was depressed that she lost her job and she was planning on picking up a moving to NC, little did I know she was probably stressing because the stress losing her job possibly made her backslide which explains all the druggie company.

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Based on the bolded, why did you think she was a good fit for your brother?

 

[Au-natural]

My brother has spent 26 years in the miltary 20 years as a trooper. Has two children that he couldn't see, and a divorce after have building a house/home from the ground up... Once he returned from being deployed 3 times. My brother is the oldest and with the age different he could quite possibly be me father. My neighbor... I introduced them because they where close in age and she knew the city, I figured she would help him get out a bit with more of a crowd w/n his age range instead of wanting to tag along w / me and my friends. Now, this woman at first glance, she seems very smart, speaks well and seems very down to earth... I sat and spoke w/ her maybe twice and the rest of the time was in passing. She claimed she's been in her apt for 15 years and that's how she knows everyone... I took that lightly. I started to get suspicious when a lie was brought up about her having a drink.

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[Au-natural]

Mind you... I introduced them when my brother came to visit me. I didn't think, that an introduction would lead to such a tight relationship between the two of the in a matter of a month!

I think she sees my brothers weakness, and knows how to get him to do what she needs by saying certain things... And mainly seeming like she is on his side about everything.

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[Charz]

I'm still trying to figure out why you would introduce your brother to someone you barely know. Better yet, why would you introduce your brother to someone you felt sorry for?

At this point there isn't too much you can do, but hope she doesn't influence your brother to take drugs.

This is really unfortunate and I hate to say this but you should have exercised a little more precaution before introducing her to someone in your family. All the signs were there, yet you proceed with bringing her into your family circle....

Exactly. Like you said she's constantly in a haze, even your parents know of her issues. What made you think she was ok?

 

[WhoIAm]

Your brother leaving her alone is not going to be the issue. Getting her to leave him alone is. I feel for you.

 

[French Rouge]

This one is a crack head right of speech therapy, last one was a fork stealing clepto... Yes you introduced your brother and was dead wrong, but his judgment seems off too. He is grown and needs to turn down bad offers when they come his way.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Make friends with your brother and be there for him. You may have to wait for him to ride this out.

 

[firecracker]

Here's an extra extra disclaimer about my brother. Two Thanksgivings ago he was dealing w/ another woman, staying at her place, renting a room and paying the rent. He invited the family over, we had dinner. The next day he called me up and asked if I stole two f'n forks... I'm like what... How dare you insult me. About three months later, he called me up saying that the woman he was living with was packing his stuff away and sending it to DR and in her box he found his entire fork set. My brother is really quick to put down his own family for others.

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This one is a crack head right of speech therapy, last one was a fork stealing clepto... Yes you introduced your brother and was dead wrong, but his judgment seems off too. He is grown and needs to turn down bad offers when they come his way.

Ok I'm sorry but

 

[loved]

One of these things is not like the other

My brother has spent 26 years in the miltary 20 years as a trooper. Has two children that he couldn't see, and a divorce after have building a house/home from the ground up... Once he returned from being deployed 3 times. My brother is the oldest and with the age different he could quite possibly be me father. My neighbor... I introduced them because they where close in age and she knew the city, I figured she would help him get out a bit with more of a crowd w/n his age range instead of wanting to tag along w / me and my friends. Now, this woman at first glance, she seems very smart, speaks well and seems very down to earth... I sat and spoke w/ her maybe twice and the rest of the time was in passing. She claimed she's been in her apt for 15 years and that's how she knows everyone... I took that lightly. I started to get suspicious when a lie was brought up about her having a drink.

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This post doesn't jive with your prior post about the signs.

Why couldn't your brother see his kids? Are they in another country?

I usually give a side eye to men who claim that they couldn't have a relationship with their children. It usually translates into they weren't willing to make the effort.

 

[ThickHair]

I don't understand how you can say your brother was blind to all of this and you were just as blind.

He is a grown man and he should handle himself accordingly. If he wants to leave her alone he will if not then he likes it. Mind your own business and KIM.

 

[NYAmicas]

Are forks hard to come by in DR? lmao @ chick stealing cutlery.

 

[keelioness]

Please don' t blame yourself...men like what they like. So what if you introduced them? At a certain point we black women need to stop carrying the world on our shoulders. He liked something abt her just like he liked something in the woman from DR , and his ex wife. He's Damn near 50 yrs old. He' s doing what he wants to do!

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[Seeking8Rights]

Please don' t blame yourself...men like what they like. So what if you introduced them? At a certain point we black women need to stop carrying the world on our shoulders. He liked something abt her just like he liked something in the woman from DR , and his ex wife. He's Damn near 50 yrs old. He' s doing what he wants to do!

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Yeah BUT had she not introduced them, her "MY BROTHER IS WITH A CRACKHEAD" thread would be nonexistent.

I'm not saying she should "blame" herself, but she did introduce them, so she obviously shares some liability in the situation.

I wish the OP and her brother the best of luck in this situation. Like the other poster said, sometimes the difficulty is not with the man getting away from the woman, it's the woman who cannot seem to let the man alone.

This whole situation has me wondering why her brother is still "hanging tight" with this girl.......