My Boss Tells Me NO MORE BUNS! How Can I Look My Best & Keep Hair Healthy?

[Maynard]

Play the game.

Get paid.

 

[schipperchow1]

Although it may be unfair, the fact is that people do respond to our physical appearance. I know that if I have a presentation or anything where I need to be around clients & other key stakeholders, I make sure to turn everything up a notch. If my hair isn't cooperating for me to wear it out or half up, I will wear a bun with my jeweled hairsticks & a few strands strategic placed around my face. Also, is it possible that you act more confident when your hair is out? I know for me, psychologically, bun means sit down & focused work. But when my hair is out, the game is on!
However, having worked in HR, the appearance issue is a fine line. As a previous poster mentioned, the culture seems to promote thus prefer fashionista women. Is this a battle you want to fight? Other corporate cultures want the women looking as de-sexed as possible. Consider researching the fashion cultures of other companies and try practicing other bun styles. Good luck!

 

[Kurlee]

i cant believe that in 2010, hair is standing in the way of a promotion. Gender wise and "race" wise, I find that appalling.

 

[butterfly_wings]

I haven't read the whole thread but is there not a way that you can come to a middle ground buy still vearing your bun but slicking back your hair with some natural aloe vera gel, or canerow your hair back and leave the ponytail free?

A protion would be great, you have to decide what means more to you, your hair or your job?

Good luck though

 

[RedVelvet310]

I say instead of wearing your hair down, start practicing on doing nicer buns. Do your buns look like you threw it on your head first thing in the morning? Maybe your boss just wants your hair to look "done"...done doesn't necessarily mean wearing your hair down, but like you spent extra time on it. Maybe the only time your boss saw your hair look "done" was when it was down, so show her that hair can be "done" (possible done BETTER) if it's in a nice bun, braid it, add barrettes, etc etc... get your promotion, stay on your HHJ and improve your styling skills

 

[newbiemom]

The truth of the matter is as a woman we have more required of us in the workplace. We normally have to project a certain image. They maybe want you to project a more youthful appearance. I think you should bend a little to get your promotion and then see if you can incorporate some different buns to your look, But I would mention it to HR once my promotion was secured thta they should either inform you of what thier grooming requirements prior to hire or be quiet about [

 

[Highly Favored8]

WOW are you serious? Your boss said that to you. Sad. IDK what advice to give, just disturbed over the fact the boss said "no more buns". What nerve.

 

[Chameleonchick]

HUH??? I don't understand this one at all. What does a hair have to do with work, and I think the bun is one of the most professional hairstyles.

 

[Ang!]

I feel for you and I am sorry that you are in this predicament - not fun:-(!

My two cents: we may say this is race related - but I ran across a similar incident in 2000. . . I started out as a Personal Shopper with a upscale department store. A high end hotel General Manager approached me about his new General Manager for their fine dining restaurant. She was a 5'11 red headed white woman. He gave me a budget of $1500 and asked if I could whip her into a shape - he wanted a complete make over - her hair especially - it was huge and teased!
Being naive and not realizing that he had not had a thorough discussion with her at the time - I jumped at the chance to do this . . . well she was not aware of all the requirements and flipped when she found out. She thought the $1500 was a wardrobe stipend - not a makeover.
The hotel felt she was the right person for the job - but she needed a new look.
I don't have any answers for you - but I would like to say that this may not be as personal as one might think. You enjoy your job - you are successful in your industry - hair should not stop you from accomplishing your goals.
Wishing you the best!

 

[Spiffy]

I say put a wig on it!

 

[BlkOnyx488]

Is this a "Job" or a "career" either way they have no right to tell you what to do with your hair. would your hair matter if you were a bald headed white man?

What exactly do THEY want to do with your hair so bad?
Get her on tape saying that bs and sue the company for harrassment!
then you won't need a "job" or a "career"

Also find out what is company policy concerning hair

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Grrr...... I won't comment on more than what the other ladies have shared... but - the Eurocentric corporate standard is so opressive to Black women. I hate it!! it actually makes me physically ill.....

I left Corporate America for this very reason. "Be as White as you can, then when you are the "only one" - be whiter...."
ugh...... I amm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately - your parents would co -sign because they love you and they want great things for you....

A wig might be the way to go. If you are "the only", they won't be able to tell. Cornrow your hair, buy a great wig, move on.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Are there ANY pics of your hair????

 

[hot_pepper96]

I don't think this is fair. I see plenty of white women wearing buns where I work and I'm quite sure they don't get this lecture!

 

[topnotch1010]

I know your feelings are probably hurt op but your boss is propably right, especially if your parents agree.

We're all judged by our looks. There's nothing new about that. I don't think buns everyday is professional, I think it's lazy. As a matter of fact, you should be looking your best to meet with clients. I think it's unprofessional to meet with clients with your hair like that, especially if you have edges sticking out everywhere.

I know you can think of something more creative than buns op. Good luck girly.

 

[WyrdWay]

Most of what I would say has been said already but.

Have you tried a sock bun? Or a phony pony? Those ways you can keep your bun I just got forced to step down from my position so I kinda feel your pain.

 

[jada1111]

so i got ripped a NEW one after a work meeting today. my boss tells me she wants to put me up for a promotion but tells that my hair is "unprofessional" and that it "doesn't make me look my best with my hair slicked back" and that she needs me looking a certain way and "feeling confident" before she "moves forward with the (promotion) process." she went onto tell me how beautiful my hair looked when i wore it down at a company MLB event and "why don't i wear it like that all the time??" we have a corporate dinner tomorrow night and they (parents + boss) are mad that i'm not going to "press my hair" instead choosing to wear a bun.

so, i run home to mommy and daddy and what happened? my parents co-signed: "that crunchy bun doesn't flatter your face..." "your roots stick up" "...you used to wear your hair down more often do that." blah, blah, blah...

another co-worker: "....well, it looks okay to me, but..."

right now i'm SO FRUSTRATED i could cry. am i making too much of all of this? am i not seeing something? i know i look better with my hair down and straightened but i'm not sure how to keep my hair healthy, keep my body healthy and keep myself and my hair looking its best at the same time! right now i'm just mad.

Just out of your curiosity is your boss black?

In all honesty, buns are the most conservative and professional style there is. Since when are you forced to wear your hair straight if you're not working in a "lookism" type industry?

I would take the advice of the posters that say to invest in a half wig or something. Then I would consult with an attorney on if what they've said to you is even legal.

 

[OrangeMoon]

I've been wearing half wigs, the only reason my hair is out today is because we have a meeting and my hair is long than the stupid half wig...I was told stop with the braids and buns. I'm just playing the game until I move on smh

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Just out of your curiosity is your boss black?

In all honesty, buns are the most conservative and professional style there is. Since when are you forced to wear your hair straight if you're not working in a "lookism" type industry?

I would take the advice of the posters that say to invest in a half wig or something. Then I would consult with an attorney on if what they've said to you is even legal.

she said earlier - her boss is Korean.

 

[BlondeByDesire]

Wow, I'm sorry this is happening to you. My hair is in a frizzy bun as we speak. I work in the legal field. Since I've been transitioning, I've gotten nothing but compliments even on this freezy bun of my - from clear people.

What about roller-sets - twists-outs? Would any of these styles work for you.

 

[jada1111]

I know your feelings are probably hurt op but your boss is propably right, especially if your parents agree.

We're all judged by our looks. There's nothing new about that. I don't think buns everyday is professional, I think it's lazy. As a matter of fact, you should be looking your best to meet with clients. I think it's unprofessional to meet with clients with your hair like that, especially if you have edges sticking out everywhere.

I know you can think of something more creative than buns op. Good luck girly.

Okay, I'm lost. Maybe I'm not up to date on the latest bun look here, but the buns that I remember or see folks wearing is slicked back and neat. The back is rolled up pretty like this:

http://tinyurl.com/2xkdkg
PW: nappyhair

This to me is as professional as you can get. It's a style that looks great on anyone.

Is there some other bun style I'm not aware of that looks like crap?

 

[JayAnn0513]

I don't have any advise OP, but I feel your pain. I just big chopped and went straight into braids because I didn't feel like my wash and go was professional. I'll likely be weaving or braiding until I get to APL and can roller set/flexi rod set weekly. I'm hoping to be promoted aain by the end of this year and I'm taking action before anyone says anything. honestly be glad she was up front with you some bosses ( like my white male bosses) would be to afraid to give me that answer even if it was the truth.


ETA: only a super straight slicked back bun would fly at my job once you're past an entry level position.

 

[Kurlee]

I've been wearing half wigs, the only reason my hair is out today is because we have a meeting and my hair is long than the stupid half wig...I was told stop with the braids and buns. I'm just playing the game until I move on smh

wow. These reasons are exactly why I shifted my career away from business. I could tell while I was studying and when I did a few internships that as a black woman, I would have to put up with so much bs and compromise way too much. I understand that it's the "way it is", but "the way it is", is wrong, eurocentric and highly discriminatory. I just couldn't see myself going through all that, especially with natural hair. What a hassle. As long as I am clean and my hair is combed, and I am good employee, no one should fix their mouth to tell me that I HAVE TO rearrange everything for my hair. YIKES!

 

[Rastafarai]

I know your feelings are probably hurt op but your boss is propably right, especially if your parents agree.

We're all judged by our looks. There's nothing new about that. I don't think buns everyday is professional, I think it's lazy. As a matter of fact, you should be looking your best to meet with clients. I think it's unprofessional to meet with clients with your hair like that, especially if you have edges sticking out everywhere.

I know you can think of something more creative than buns op. Good luck girly.

Oh boy. You done open a can of worms with this comment.

 

[jazii]

uh oh. that sucks. I wouldn't want to be told how to wear my hair. ugh but the job is more important! do what you gotta do =)!!!

 

[serendipity]

I must say I'm very intrigued by all this especially as I will be interviewing shortly myself. I tend to protective style so ponies, buns, wigs are what I often sport.
I don't think the OP should compromise her career/livelihood for hair it's just not that serious imo. Surely there's got to be a happy medium.
It would be helpful if folks could post pics of the hairstyles that they consider professional, particularly protective ones.

 

[KnitChick]

I know it sucks that you even have to deal with this but, it's a sad reality that we have to deal with. You are only going to screw yourself over and out of a promotion, so I would wear my hear down UNTIL I get that promotion and the go RIGHT BACK to bunning after! You can still do neat stylish buns w swoop bangs etc.

For meetings etc. you can change your style up a bit but that's a choice that you will have to make. You should look your best when meeting clients anyway! There are TONS of ways to look good w/o compromising your hair!...However, play the game the way THEY want you to play it until YOU get what you need from them $$$$$$$$ Then go back to doing you!

 

[lux10023]

wow if your boss had to say something it must be serious

i would never let a hairstyle come btwn me and my success----

will it kill you to wear your hair down--no

so whats the problem..?

its a hairtsyle

 

[Rastafarai]

I must say I'm very intrigued by all this especially as I will be interviewing shortly myself. I tend to protective style so ponies, buns, wigs are what I often sport.
I don't think the OP should compromise her career/livelihood for hair it's just not that serious imo. Surely there's got to be a happy medium.
It would be helpful if folks could post pics of the hairstyles that they consider professional, particularly protective ones.

Depending on your work environment, its very difficult for a napptural to blend in without tucking, hiding or protecting her hair strands. Now it appears even buns in its natural state are not acceptable in some work environments! There is no middle ground or happy medium if you're trying to move up the corporate ladder. It's either blend in or be stunted/demoted or fired.

Depending on her length, I'd recommend the the OP go for a rollerset/soft curl/bob look more often, something like this:

Or play up her buns/chignons like this:

 

[lushlady]

This is illegal. I am amazed that people still say these kinds of things.