My bestfriends hair

[missnurselady]

I have been TRYING to take care of my bestfriends hair over the last 6 months or so because I got tired of her walking around looking crazy. When I first relaxed her hair back in June 07 I noticed that her nape was broken off, it was like 4 inches long, her hair is about APL in the back, I assumed it was because she always wears her hair either in a a ponytail at the nape or she just twist it up and holds it with a bobbypin. I told her that she should rotate the spots where she puts her ponytails and not to have them too tight. Did she listen...NO! She also has a problem with dandruff so I purchased some Sulfur 8 poo, she says she doesnt like the smell, it gives her a headache, then I purchased the Glovers medicated solution and told her I will only use it before I wash her hair, again she turned her nose up at the smell and refused to let me use it on her. Tried head and shoulders, did nothing. So back to regular CON shampoo and DCIng but she complains that it takes too long and its too many steps to get her hair washed and roller set. I can only do her hair once a month, because I work and go to school full time, so I told her she needs to wash and DC her hair atleast once a week, she never did it. I told her she needs to moisturize her hair daily if it feels dry, she doesnt. I told her to stop using fine tooth combs when combing her hair, did didnt I also told her not to curl dirty hair, she still does. Now whenever I actually wash her hair im sickend by the odor, the dandruff, the shedding and the breakage. Her hair grows fast but it is just thin and long and unhealthy looking. I try to tell her how important it is to take care of her hair but she doesnt care, and now im starting to feel like why should I care if she doesnt. I tell her about LHCF all the time and she just makes fun of it. Im at the point now where I dont care if she is goes bald! Am I wrong?

 

[LoveLiLi]

Umm, no - you're not wrong. If I made my best effort and she just didn't listen then I wouldn't care. When she gets tired of looking like Raggedy Anne, she'll make a change.

 

[tiffers]

Heck no you're not wrong! You've done MORE than enough! Like the old saying goes: ''You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'' She'll come crying to you when she's walkin around with 12 strands of hair on her head, while your hair's blowin in the breeze

I say chuck up the deuces and let her learn on her own. She'll come around eventually......... I hope

 

[misscrystal]

Im at the point now where I dont care if she is goes bald! Am I wrong?

Nope!

You've gone above and beyond for your friend, but some women just don't want to hear about the time and dedication that goes into proper hair care.

Do me a favor and swang your own healthy hair in her face once you reach your hair goal

 

[wannabelong]

You are not wrong. Like my mama used to say " a hard head makes a soft behind." She'll come crying to you when she's bald.

 

[clever]

Heck no you're not wrong! You've done MORE than enough! Like the old saying goes: ''You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'' She'll come crying to you when she's walkin around with 12 strands of hair on her head, while your hair's blowin in the breeze

I say chuck up the deuces and let her learn on her own. She'll come around eventually......... I hope

I couldn't have said it better.Did you volunteer the info or did she ask for help?

 

[cutiebe2]

Heck no you're not wrong! You've done MORE than enough! Like the old saying goes: ''You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'' She'll come crying to you when she's walkin around with 12 strands of hair on her head, while your hair's blowin in the breeze

I say chuck up the deuces and let her learn on her own. She'll come around eventually......... I hope

I was gonna say this same saying....I say let her go thirsty.......

 

[Tamrin]

delete delete

 

[Moroni]

So, why is it that you care more about her hair than she does?

 

[choconillaprincess]

Wow! I can't believe you've done so much to help her with her hair! Where were you when my hair was breaking off to my shoulders? I wish you were my best friend!

Hey if she doesn't care what her head looks like why should you?

 

[caribeandiva]

...now im starting to feel like why should I care if she doesnt...

Bingo! You're the only one that cares about her hair so stop. She's not a child. Hold your tongue and stop giving her advice unless she asks for it.

 

[missnurselady]

Thank you ladies!! Now I don't feel bad for telling her she is on her own. I will save my time and money and focus on my own hair. I just remember when her mom used to send her to the salon every week and her hair was beautiful, now its looks like crap basically. She wants me to do a sew in on her and im like oh no, you wont even wash your own hair let alone a weave. I will just wait until she gets tired of brushing her hair up off the bathroom floor

 

[soonergirl]

there you go missnurse... you hit the nail on the head!!! when she gets tired of sweeping up shedded/broken hairs, some dude gets close and smells her head funk, and disses her, or when she can seem to get those 12 hairs (got that from tiffers) into a ponytail, she will get the picture.. By that time you will have met your hair goal and she will be sweatin ya to do her hair again..... Note to your friend: If you can smell her skunky hair, guys can too???!!!!!

ETA: You sound like an awesome friend......

 

[TrendySocialite]

Umm, no - you're not wrong. If I made my best effort and she just didn't listen then I wouldn't care. When she gets tired of looking like Raggedy Anne, she'll make a change.

CO-SIGN! She will want to do something when strange men want to run their fingers through your hair and want to take some scissors to hers! LOL

 

[ladybug71]

Wow, you are a really good friend! You took care of her hair, your hair and work and school? :notworthy I have to ditto the others, you have gone way above and beyond. While it's nice to be a concerned friend, if she isn't holding up her end of the bargain or at least assist in making your job easier, then let it go. She is on her own. Good for you for telling her that!

 

[Sui Topi]

You have done more than enough. I did the same things for my Bff and she does not seem to care about her own hair. You went way beyond. Guess what? You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves. My Bff saw how much my hair grew this week. She is in shock and won't even say nice growth. All she said was I liked you better in twists. Mind you I gave all the same products I use and made stuff for her... You did good. Work on your own hair and in tim she will see what you were trying to tell her.

theyre always like that...never anything good to say, just these comments...meanwhile their hair looks like straight trash....thats my sister to a T lol

 

[betty-boo]

Oh my word I've gone through the exact same thing!!! I have recently given up on my friend. Now I let her do as she pleases.
I think as with anything, people need to come to the stage where enough is enough for them. If they haven't come to this stage, where they are at rock bottom, they will not want to learn.
This isn't just with hair, it's with everything in life!

 

[tiffers]

there you go missnurse... you hit the nail on the head!!! when she gets tired of sweeping up shedded/broken hairs, some dude gets close and smells her head funk, and disses her, or when she can seem to get those 12 hairs (got that from tiffers) into a ponytail, she will get the picture.. By that time you will have met your hair goal and she will be sweatin ya to do her hair again..... Note to your friend: If you can smell her skunky hair, guys can too???!!!!!

ETA: You sound like an awesome friend......

I'm over here crackin up, imagining someone struggling to put their little 12 hairs in a ponytail

 

[wheezy807]

Thank you ladies!! Now I don't feel bad for telling her she is on her own. I will save my time and money and focus on my own hair. I just remember when her mom used to send her to the salon every week and her hair was beautiful, now its looks like crap basically. She wants me to do a sew in on her and im like oh no, you wont even wash your own hair let alone a weave. I will just wait until she gets tired of brushing her hair up off the bathroom floor

EXACTLY!!! I was gonna say just wait til she gets tired of looking at that in the mirror, she'll come back ALL EARS. Your a wonderful friend. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
ETA: And that dandruff problem is most likely from not washing her hair. I had that same problem before i joined LHCF. I used to was my hair once every month. Yeah i know..erplexed But since i've joined my dandruff problems are none exist.

 

[favorc]

u can only help those who want to help themselves. u ain't wrong.

 

[silverlotus]

Bingo! You're the only one that cares about her hair so stop. She's not a child. Hold your tongue and stop giving her advice unless she asks for it.

Agreed. OP, did she ask for your advice in the first place? I don't even think it's that serious that she doesn't care about her hair. Ya'll just have different priorities. I'm sure there are things she cares about that you are indifferent to.

 

[Whimsy]

c'mon - it's not YOUR hair. You put more effort into homegirl's hair than I put into my own! IF she wants unhealthy hair, let her have it.
shoot.

 

[Fine 4s]

Agreed. OP, did she ask for your advice in the first place? I don't even think it's that serious that she doesn't care about her hair. Ya'll just have different priorities. I'm sure there are things she cares about that you are indifferent to.

Interesting response. I also wonder WHY she thought she was wrong to begin with. Also, us hair conscious/obsessed women need to realize that WE get pleasure from caring for hair but that may not be other peoples pleasure. I had to learn to respect other people's wishes during this hair journey b/c believe me, I wanted to preach, going door to door like ...well some religious folk about hair care!

In any case my point is it's more bout us than it is about them.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

I have been TRYING to take care of my bestfriends hair over the last 6 months or so because I got tired of her walking around looking crazy. When I first relaxed her hair back in June 07 I noticed that her nape was broken off, it was like 4 inches long, her hair is about APL in the back, I assumed it was because she always wears her hair either in a a ponytail at the nape or she just twist it up and holds it with a bobbypin. I told her that she should rotate the spots where she puts her ponytails and not to have them too tight. Did she listen...NO! She also has a problem with dandruff so I purchased some Sulfur 8 poo, she says she doesnt like the smell, it gives her a headache, then I purchased the Glovers medicated solution and told her I will only use it before I wash her hair, again she turned her nose up at the smell and refused to let me use it on her. Tried head and shoulders, did nothing. So back to regular CON shampoo and DCIng but she complains that it takes too long and its too many steps to get her hair washed and roller set. I can only do her hair once a month, because I work and go to school full time, so I told her she needs to wash and DC her hair atleast once a week, she never did it. I told her she needs to moisturize her hair daily if it feels dry, she doesnt. I told her to stop using fine tooth combs when combing her hair, did didnt I also told her not to curl dirty hair, she still does. Now whenever I actually wash her hair im sickend by the odor, the dandruff, the shedding and the breakage. Her hair grows fast but it is just thin and long and unhealthy looking. I try to tell her how important it is to take care of her hair but she doesnt care, and now im starting to feel like why should I care if she doesnt. I tell her about LHCF all the time and she just makes fun of it. Im at the point now where I dont care if she is goes bald! Am I wrong?

\


You have done enough.

 

[missnurselady]

Agreed. OP, did she ask for your advice in the first place? I don't even think it's that serious that she doesn't care about her hair. Ya'll just have different priorities. I'm sure there are things she cares about that you are indifferent to.

I totally agree with you about us having different priorities, and yes she did ask for my help knowing that I dont play when it comes to my hair. I've already told her that she needs to go to a salon so they can properly take care of her hair because I am not a professional.

 

[glamazon386]

You can't help somebody who doesn't want to help themself. I would just leave it alone. She can go to the salon if she wants her hair done.

 

[SmartyPants]

Just don't point and laugh when she comes to you baldheaded!

 

[HoneyA]

Hmmm! Sounds to me like you care more about her hair than she does...