Georgia_Curly
Member
I need help with approaching my sister and mother who wont take my advice on hair care and other things.
My sis:
she wants me to straighten and relax her but she wont let me tell her what products to use(whats good and not good for her hair). I tell her if you do it this way its not going to come out right. She throws a fit and gets an attitude with me and tells me idk what im talking about because im not a hairstylist
. Then I do it the way she wants and she complains about how it come out
. This when I go *ham* on her
. I dont know any other way to tell her. Her hair is very very thick, coarse and long(mbl). She also has split ends and a lot breakage. She wants to use a normal relaxer on her. I told her that it wont work because her hair wont take. It just makes her hair look wavy. It would have to sit on longer then suggested. I told her to get a stronger relaxer and she says(PCJ Relaxer) "when mom does it comes out straight" I told her, mom hasn't relaxed your hair with this brand since they started putting olive oil in it. Then she wont put the base(petrolatum) in applicator bottle so it wont be on the new growth. When I relax her hair it looks like a texturizer when wet. It starts to puff back up after stepping outside. She puts to much grease on the hair and when she washes it, all of the base isnt out of her head. SO when I go flatiron it, its all greasy and stiff
. But she continues to DO IT HER WAY. So I stopped relaxing her because she doesnt want to listen to me and I refuse to jack her hair up
. Not only that she doesnt wash her like she's suppose to. She doesnt like deep conditioning, trimming or doing protein treatments for hair. She thinks it takes to long. She wants to flatiron her hair every week I told her that doing that will damage her hair. She uses the wrong flatiron and turns it up too high. her: "I dont care as long as its straight I dont care. I like relaxing my hair every 2-3 weeks." I said sis you need to stretch it out because that's to soon for you and you dont even have a inch or two of new growth. Her: so my hair grows fast and I dont want to walk around with nappy hair. Me: sis just do a roller set etc to stretch it out until you get atleast an inch and half...she thinks conditioners, protein treatments, deep cond are for white people and so does my mother. Both my mother and sis want me to do their hair but doesnt want to listen to my advice.
My mother uses the brown gel when doing ponytails. Then she uses grease to "moisturize"
her hair. I told her grease does nothing but clogs your hair pores and that brown gel is breaking your hair off because the alcohol in it. I got her a gel that doesnt have alcohol in it and she likes it. Thats the only thing she would listen to me on. She also doesnt want to do deep conditioning, protein treatment and condition hair. She thinks her hair wont grow. I told her if she would just listen to me it will. She said it only grows so long and then it stops growing. I told her thats because you dont moisturize, condition, trim, you blow frying :burning:and using a drying shampoo. Her ends are so damage I cant even describe it. When my mother does my little sisters hair (shes natural) she shampoos it with baby shampoo(which strips the mess out of it) and towel dries it. Then she detangles her curly hair when dry breaking the teeths out of the come(half of the teeth on the comb is gone) then applies baby lotion to it(couldnt watch anymore). I see golf ball size hair balls on the counter not just one but 2! she's only 5 she should not have 2 big balls of hair coming out. Finally proceeds with blow drying it
. She said it worked for your hair when was you a little girl 
and your hair has was long. Not only that she is uses rubber bands on her hair instead of ouchless hair bands. She puts my sis hair in tight tight ponytails to the point she has hair bumps in the nape and temple area. Her hair on the temples are very thin. My mother thinks my little sis edges are thin because its genetic. My mother, my middle sis and I edges are thinn but I think its because of how she did me and my sisters hair when we was little. Then she wants to know why my little sis hair wont go. smh She gets into it with me because she thinks im critizing her so she doesnt listen to me. I tell her in a nice way and I suggest I dont demand it. I dont think she understands how much damage she's doing to her and my sister's hair.
On top of all this both my mother and middle sister talks about my hair because I'm transitioning. When ever my sis and I get into an argument she attacks me by saying my hair looks nappy and that I need to perm it( smh instead of her saying relax she says perm) and that kinda hurts because I dont say her hair is nappy and its time to relax her again. She knows that I love my hair, obsessed with hair care and thats a low blow for me when she talks about my hair.
erplexed My mother just sits there while she talks about my hair. Mother thinks I need to relax it because it looks nappy. They always want me to straighten my hair.
How do I approach both of them with out getting into a heated argument with them? without them thinking im critizing them. I just want to help them. Its hard to live in a house with people who dont care for their hair.
I use to do the samething but once I came to longhaircareforum.com I see why my relaxed hair was shedding, breaking, and had split ends. I didnt even know my hair was heat damaged from me flatironing every other day. My cousin had overlapped relaxed my hair. Now I see the damaged I was doing and now I take care of my hair. I dont want my little sis to grow up like how I did, not knowing. I still have the damaged hair and I'm cutting it off little by little until I BC. I'm a long transitioner. For my mom I wish she would support me going natural instead talking about me.
My sis:
she wants me to straighten and relax her but she wont let me tell her what products to use(whats good and not good for her hair). I tell her if you do it this way its not going to come out right. She throws a fit and gets an attitude with me and tells me idk what im talking about because im not a hairstylist
. Then I do it the way she wants and she complains about how it come out. This when I go *ham* on her. I dont know any other way to tell her. Her hair is very very thick, coarse and long(mbl). She also has split ends and a lot breakage. She wants to use a normal relaxer on her. I told her that it wont work because her hair wont take. It just makes her hair look wavy. It would have to sit on longer then suggested. I told her to get a stronger relaxer and she says(PCJ Relaxer) "when mom does it comes out straight" I told her, mom hasn't relaxed your hair with this brand since they started putting olive oil in it. Then she wont put the base(petrolatum) in applicator bottle so it wont be on the new growth. When I relax her hair it looks like a texturizer when wet. It starts to puff back up after stepping outside. She puts to much grease on the hair and when she washes it, all of the base isnt out of her head. SO when I go flatiron it, its all greasy and stiff. But she continues to DO IT HER WAY. So I stopped relaxing her because she doesnt want to listen to me and I refuse to jack her hair up. Not only that she doesnt wash her like she's suppose to. She doesnt like deep conditioning, trimming or doing protein treatments for hair. She thinks it takes to long. She wants to flatiron her hair every week I told her that doing that will damage her hair. She uses the wrong flatiron and turns it up too high. her: "I dont care as long as its straight I dont care. I like relaxing my hair every 2-3 weeks." I said sis you need to stretch it out because that's to soon for you and you dont even have a inch or two of new growth. Her: so my hair grows fast and I dont want to walk around with nappy hair. Me: sis just do a roller set etc to stretch it out until you get atleast an inch and half...she thinks conditioners, protein treatments, deep cond are for white people and so does my mother. Both my mother and sis want me to do their hair but doesnt want to listen to my advice. My mother uses the brown gel when doing ponytails. Then she uses grease to "moisturize"
her hair. I told her grease does nothing but clogs your hair pores and that brown gel is breaking your hair off because the alcohol in it. I got her a gel that doesnt have alcohol in it and she likes it. Thats the only thing she would listen to me on. She also doesnt want to do deep conditioning, protein treatment and condition hair. She thinks her hair wont grow. I told her if she would just listen to me it will. She said it only grows so long and then it stops growing. I told her thats because you dont moisturize, condition, trim, you blow frying :burning:and using a drying shampoo. Her ends are so damage I cant even describe it. When my mother does my little sisters hair (shes natural) she shampoos it with baby shampoo(which strips the mess out of it) and towel dries it. Then she detangles her curly hair when dry breaking the teeths out of the come(half of the teeth on the comb is gone) then applies baby lotion to it(couldnt watch anymore). I see golf ball size hair balls on the counter not just one but 2! she's only 5 she should not have 2 big balls of hair coming out. Finally proceeds with blow drying it. She said it worked for your hair when was you a little girl and your hair has was long. Not only that she is uses rubber bands on her hair instead of ouchless hair bands. She puts my sis hair in tight tight ponytails to the point she has hair bumps in the nape and temple area. Her hair on the temples are very thin. My mother thinks my little sis edges are thin because its genetic. My mother, my middle sis and I edges are thinn but I think its because of how she did me and my sisters hair when we was little. Then she wants to know why my little sis hair wont go. smh She gets into it with me because she thinks im critizing her so she doesnt listen to me. I tell her in a nice way and I suggest I dont demand it. I dont think she understands how much damage she's doing to her and my sister's hair.On top of all this both my mother and middle sister talks about my hair because I'm transitioning. When ever my sis and I get into an argument she attacks me by saying my hair looks nappy and that I need to perm it( smh instead of her saying relax she says perm) and that kinda hurts because I dont say her hair is nappy and its time to relax her again. She knows that I love my hair, obsessed with hair care and thats a low blow for me when she talks about my hair.
erplexed My mother just sits there while she talks about my hair. Mother thinks I need to relax it because it looks nappy. They always want me to straighten my hair.How do I approach both of them with out getting into a heated argument with them? without them thinking im critizing them. I just want to help them. Its hard to live in a house with people who dont care for their hair.
I use to do the samething but once I came to longhaircareforum.com I see why my relaxed hair was shedding, breaking, and had split ends. I didnt even know my hair was heat damaged from me flatironing every other day. My cousin had overlapped relaxed my hair. Now I see the damaged I was doing and now I take care of my hair. I dont want my little sis to grow up like how I did, not knowing. I still have the damaged hair and I'm cutting it off little by little until I BC. I'm a long transitioner. For my mom I wish she would support me going natural instead talking about me.
.
It'll get better.
and not because I started taking care of it. At this point, you are beating a dead horse and if I were you I would have nothing more to do with your sister or mom's hair. Now the LITTLE sister...I have no advice other than keep working on your mom. On the bright side, at least she is not relaxed 
thanks for commenting
