My Best Friends Brother???

[msincognito]

I am curious to know if anyone has had a successful relationship dating their best friend's brother.

I have known my best friend for 10 years...we have been through a lot of ups and downs, I truly know she has my back.

Not only am I good friends with her, I know a lot of her family members, we even travel together. I met her brother (he live out of state, thank goodness) 5 years ago at my friend's wedding......he was very cordial, seeing he was with his wife.

I know what you are thinking but NO, nothing happened at that point!

Fast forward to a family gathering to celebrate my friends daughter birthday about 2 years ago. As I was going into her house, he standing outside with his aunt. He made some kind of smart remark, I just smiled and went inside, still nothing.

Fast forward to this past summer on a trip to Jamaica, he decides to come along. Before the trip my friend is like, my brother asked about you. I was like ok, but I did not think anything about it. However during the trip, after plenty of "chance" encounters (set ups), I opened up to him a little bit and found out he is really nice. (If you were wondering about the wife, well she is now the ex-wife). There is a definite attraction between us, but I did not put too much stock into it....you now how summer romances go.

As I said before he lives out of state, we email/phone each other from time to time, but now his sister (my best friend) brings him up to me daily, as if she wants to know if I feel anything for him.

I really do not want to mess up my friendship with my friend over her brother.....what do you think I should do?

 

[carameldiva]

I did it once back in my youthful days. My BFF warned me not to but i just had to have him. Bad mistake. It didn't ruin my friendship with her. But he was not the one for me at all.

 

[msincognito]

Yeah, that's why I am hesitant, thanks for responding.

 

[poetist]

I dated my friends brother and it wasnt a good idea. I too was friends with the family. I think it can be awkward if you are used to sharing certains details of your relationship with your friend. It will become strange complaining about things you dont like about her brother. On the flip, it will be inappropriate to discuss intimate details. She may also feel like she has to take sides at time. I dunno I think it can be sticky and may be best to avoid altogether.

 

[audacious1]

I saw the thread title and two words came to mind: off limits.

 

[Much2much41]

My best friend actually asked me why didn't I date her brother. I felt like he was MY brother, too, so I wasn't trying to hear her. I kind of wish I hadn't felt that way, because he is FIONE , really sweet, and doing well for himself. He's got a really nice wife and a cute baby now, and I'm happy for him. I don't see anything wrong with it if you feel the relationship has potential.

 

[Sui Topi]

Oh man ever since I was a little girl I had teh biggest crush on my best friends brother and in like the 6th grade she told him and I was so mad lol..then when i started blossoming i guess, it started getting weird around him with the embarrased smiles and such but we never said anything...then I got pregnant and married and its even weirder. One minute hes looking at my husband like hes going to decapitate him and the next hes trying to be nice. The weird thing about it is I don't think if he had asked me I could be able to have something with him. I feel it would make things so awkward between his sister and I...like someone said, your friend will be caught in the middle and who knows how it would turn out, depending on how and if you to break up

 

[msincognito]

Thanks everyone you have confirmed what has been in the back of my mind.
I definitely don't want to mess up the relationship with my best friend.

 

[FeelinIt]

I am curious to know if anyone has had a successful relationship dating their best friend's brother.

I have known my best friend for 10 years...we have been through a lot of ups and downs, I truly know she has my back.

Not only am I good friends with her, I know a lot of her family members, we even travel together. I met her brother (he live out of state, thank goodness) 5 years ago at my friend's wedding......he was very cordial, seeing he was with his wife.

I know what you are thinking but NO, nothing happened at that point!

Fast forward to a family gathering to celebrate my friends daughter birthday about 2 years ago. As I was going into her house, he standing outside with his aunt. He made some kind of smart remark, I just smiled and went inside, still nothing.

Fast forward to this past summer on a trip to Jamaica, he decides to come along. Before the trip my friend is like, my brother asked about you. I was like ok, but I did not think anything about it. However during the trip, after plenty of "chance" encounters (set ups), I opened up to him a little bit and found out he is really nice. (If you were wondering about the wife, well she is now the ex-wife). There is a definite attraction between us, but I did not put too much stock into it....you now how summer romances go.

As I said before he lives out of state, we email/phone each other from time to time, but now his sister (my best friend) brings him up to me daily, as if she wants to know if I feel anything for him.

I really do not want to mess up my friendship with my friend over her brother.....what do you think I should do?

Well not me but my good friend has and she is married to him. Funny, she never thought of him that way. She has been best friends with her girlfriend for years and he was just right under her nose. I guess one day they started talking and they really started to like each other. He proposed to her on Valentines Day about 3 years ago and they have been happily married since.

She has had no issues.....well a couple with his fam but that can happen with anyone. Her and her best friend are still good with each other. No problems there.

 

[msincognito]

Well not me but my good friend has and she is married to him. Funny, she never thought of him that way. She has been best friends with her girlfriend for years and he was just right under her nose. I guess one day they started talking and they really started to like each other. He proposed to her on Valentines Day about 3 years ago and they have been happily married since.

She has had no issues.....well a couple with his fam but that can happen with anyone. Her and her best friend are still good with each other. No problems there.

That is so sweet, so sometimes things do turn out ok


My friends brother is sweet whenever I talk with him he talks about the upcoming trip that his sister is planning for this summer. He talks about hanging out and getting to know each other more. I don't know what he is telling his sister but I get a vibe that she is questioning me for him.

I don't have many close female friends, and we share so many secrets. On the last trip there were about 10 of us traveling together, and when it came time for dinner it always ended up being my friend, her husband, her brother and me (so obvious).

I guess right now I am not sure if she is trying set me up with him or not.

I will keep things as is for now...and see how everything unfolds.

 

[Sui Topi]

Well lol you never know. I'm sure on the other hand it would be fun to be sisters with your best friend

 

[Princess Cherish]

Honestly I wouldn't do it. It puts your bestfriend in a bad position because if things aren't going right her loyalty is gonna be torn between you and her brother. Also, if your used to sharing secrets with her, that'll be hard on you because there's complaints/issues etc that you would normally discuss with her but can't because its her brother.
My aunt had the same best friend for 20 years. Then that best friend got with one of my uncles. Everything was cool for a while- my uncle ended up getting engaged with her and everything. Well,he ended up cheatng on her and my aunt knew but didn't tell because she didn't want to backstab her brother. Anyway the bestfriend/uncle's girlfriend ended up finding out in a terrible way and things got UGLY. To make a long story short, they are not friends anymore. So 20 years of friendship went down the drain. Mind you this woman was like another sister to my aunt and another aunt to me. They now no longer even speak to eachother. I wouldn't put any true friendship that I really valued on the line for something that might not work out. Men are easy to come by. True friends aren't.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I think you should not date your best friends brother it could ruin your friendship...not worth it.

 

[Much2much41]

I don't think there should be any hard rules about whether you should or shouldn't. If your best friend doesn't have a problem with it, why not see where it goes? The very same characteristics she has that makes you her friend might be the same characterstics he has. What could be better than that?

 

[kweenameena]

I don't think there should be any hard rules about whether you should or shouldn't. If your best friend doesn't have a problem with it, why not see where it goes? The very same characteristics she has that makes you her friend might be the same characterstics he has. What could be better than that?

That can be a good or a bad thing.

I've "talked" to my BFF's brother and wish that I hadn't. It started off really exciting (and almost perfect) but ended up being hell!! I would say don't do it...just keep it a fantasy.